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the BEST message i have ever gotten :-)

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  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I know it's a sad system of guys sending ladies hundreds of sexist and objectifying messages, but I have to wonder if the system supports itself. If a guy would send out 100 of these messages hoping for at least one response, could there possibly be a 1% of the women on those sites that respond? Even scarier, could there be a 2 or 3% that responds? Could the 1% be spoiling the entire experience for the other 99%?

    Of course most if not all the blame goes to the males who have such high desperation and low expectations. Without them there would be no system to either succeed or fail.

    If he's putting in all the effort do send out all these e-mails, his odds are probably better than 1%. Why else would he do it if he was only getting one response for every 100 e-mails he sends out?

    It depends on criteria I would assume. If he's got a broad market (just female, no other qualification), sending the same pervy direct message to everyone might not be a bad approach. I would think that there'd be a sub 1% response rate out there but if you send to hundreds of females a day (possible in a big city) without regard for age, kids, body type, etc and even got a 1% response rate, that could be what you need.

    There are some businesses that cold call to get customers/clients and cold calling is known to have around a 1% response rate.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    Oh my God. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever read.

    I got a full sex story once... Like a... "I'm going to do this... And then this.... And then this...." Parts of it were especially obscene.. It got worse as it went on. Blech.
  • lniffa
    lniffa Posts: 718 Member
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    I have so much of these messages, that I rarely go into OKC and deleted off POF. Most of it is to do with my skin color.

    My favorites:

    I am into black women and I want to be your sex slave.

    I would love you have you on top me when I shove my **** in your ******, just to see the way our two different skin tones come together.

    Yeah, I never respond, just block!
  • Double_Tapp
    Double_Tapp Posts: 101
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    They should create a new television show based on Emails and PMs from dating sites. LOL these are too funny not to share with the world! :laugh:
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I got one of a guy asking if I let dogs have sex with me... cause he likes to watch... I think he misinterpreted when I put that I am an animal lover...
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    I WANT TO CUM IN YOU

    You could have responded:

    "Come over now! I need more child support!".
  • Guatamellon
    Guatamellon Posts: 102 Member
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    I really needed this today. LOL I am glad I am not the only one that gets crazy messages. My co-workers look forward to my stories. haha
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
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    baaaaahahahahah!!
    i wish i was this witty ;-)
    I WANT TO CUM IN YOU

    You could have responded:

    "Come over now! I need more child support!".
  • MelisMusing
    MelisMusing Posts: 421 Member
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    I had one guy tell me "Girl, how on earth you gon do it?"
    "Do what" I asked
    "Stay away from me once I give you some"

    Compared to some not toooo horrible, except we'd not even met in person yet, and I fully admit to being a bit gun shy when it comes to the come on. Can't a guy just be sweet and interesting and nice? That totally works for me!
  • MelisMusing
    MelisMusing Posts: 421 Member
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    This is sad. As a guy, a part of me feels ashamed that certain males act this way. But then again, another part of me is happy because it just increases my chances.

    I think it does increase your odds. Even if we aren't a great match, I am very aware when a guy seems like a good one, even on a dating site. It's just obvious.

    Agreed!!
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
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    I already told this on another thread but a guy on MFP wrote to me: "You are clearly the most attractive woman on this website and I would very much enjoy eating mashed potatoes off your chest." :noway: Yep... can't make this stuff up.

    Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
    Are you sure you don't want to play with my joystick?
    (yes, this stick brings joy and happiness in my life)
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
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    Every time I see this topic, I read "the BEST massage I have ever gotten".... and I get a little excited that someone's going to tell me a dirty story.

    Then I re-read and it makes me a little sad. :ohwell:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I already told this on another thread but a guy on MFP wrote to me: "You are clearly the most attractive woman on this website and I would very much enjoy eating mashed potatoes off your chest." :noway: Yep... can't make this stuff up.

    Mashed potatoes are not the most erotic cuisine.
  • natalienicole502
    natalienicole502 Posts: 268 Member
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    I've been taking screenshots of all the hilariousness that is online dating. I think I am going to add a section on my blog related to just this. I'm just there really to make some friends and when I'm ready to try dating again maybe have some possibilities... but man there are some crazy *kitten* people on there. Or maybe I'm too picky, I don't know.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    I already told this on another thread but a guy on MFP wrote to me: "You are clearly the most attractive woman on this website and I would very much enjoy eating mashed potatoes off your chest." :noway: Yep... can't make this stuff up.

    Mashed potatoes are not the most erotic cuisine.

    Depends on the gravy.

    --P
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    I already told this on another thread but a guy on MFP wrote to me: "You are clearly the most attractive woman on this website and I would very much enjoy eating mashed potatoes off your chest." :noway: Yep... can't make this stuff up.

    Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!

    Hey.. maybe he can't deal with lactose, so couldn't suggest whipped cream.
    In fact, maybe you are just being prejudiced against the lactose-intolerant. That's not very nice. You should write him back and apologize. :tongue:
  • 05HeatherLouise05
    05HeatherLouise05 Posts: 178 Member
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    I got this from a FWB years ago in a Text message:

    He came 2 me 1 nite
    explored my body
    licked
    sucked
    swallowed
    & had his fill
    wen satisfied he left...
    I was hurt...
    F***IN MOSQUITO
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    you can bold by putting a b inside [ and ] at the front and then [ / b ] at the end
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    oh and THIS is why I am waiting to date :laugh:

    Honest to God I would have spit my coffee on my beautiful new Ipad if someone I didn't know wrote that to me. :laugh:

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