the BEST message i have ever gotten :-)
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So would it have been okay if he wrote, "I want to shoot it on your belly?"0
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Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
OK, I'll agree on not watching some stranger from POF..
.but if its a guy I'm involved with....heck yeah I'll watch!
TMI, I know.
..sorry!
Editing to add...I'll participate in the video games too! Lol0 -
Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
OK, I'll agree on not watching some stranger from POF..
.but if its a guy I'm involved with....heck yeah I'll watch! TMI, I know.
..sorry!
Editing to add...I'll participate in the video games too! Lol
And this is why I love you And agree with every word, apart from video games :noway: Unless its video porn I'm not interested.......:laugh: 0 -
Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
OK, I'll agree on not watching some stranger from POF..
.but if its a guy I'm involved with....heck yeah I'll watch! TMI, I know.
..sorry!
Editing to add...I'll participate in the video games too! Lol
And this is why I love you And agree with every word, apart from video games :noway: Unless its video porn I'm not interested.......:laugh:
Lol! Yeah....I'll let him watch too! Hahaha!0 -
Of course on POF I've gotten standard message from guys asking me if I would watch them jack off... ewww... no. That stuff is like video games: women know men do it but we don't want to hear about it or watch you do it (especially not some creep on the internet)!!!
OK, I'll agree on not watching some stranger from POF..
.but if its a guy I'm involved with....heck yeah I'll watch! TMI, I know.
..sorry!
Editing to add...I'll participate in the video games too! Lol
I'm with you!0 -
And do some guys think that works? Wow... just...wow.0
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I received this via text yesterday from the man I went on my date with Sunday night.
"....maybe people are nervous and the devil doesn't want christians that are equally yoked together because of the damage they can do to hurt the devil in gods name. I believe a good relationship is built on friendship first".
This was after I sent him nice messages saying that while I enjoyed dinner, I didn't feel a connection. And, this was only one of many texts I received from him yesterday. Another was "Now that you've had time to sleep on it, have you had a change of heart". Others were just conversational.
I have never encountered anything like this, but luckily he doesn't know my last name or where I live.0 -
I received this via text yesterday from the man I went on my date with Sunday night.
"....maybe people are nervous and the devil doesn't want christians that are equally yoked together because of the damage they can do to hurt the devil in gods name. I believe a good relationship is built on friendship first".
This was after I sent him nice messages saying that while I enjoyed dinner, I didn't feel a connection. And, this was only one of many texts I received from him yesterday. Another was "Now that you've had time to sleep on it, have you had a change of heart". Others were just conversational.
I have never encountered anything like this, but luckily he doesn't know my last name or where I live.
Strange text after a one & done date for sure.
I do not like to receive the whole "while I enjoyed dinner, I didn't feel a connection" line. Because I know it is nonsense. Attempts to soften the blow are not perceived well. If two people truly enjoyed the time together, they want more of each other. But yeah, the proper male response to the nonsense line is to just delete the text and her number, because it's not worth your time to deal with someone in that mindset.0 -
He had asked for a second date. I told him no thank you. When he asked for a reason, I figured the "no connection" was better than the realistic "you creeped me out". I do realize it was a cop out, but couldn't think of anything better to say at that point. I figured that he would do the same as you said and delete my number. I certainly didn't expect him to continue texting.0
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Just curious.. what about him made you feel no connection? Was it physical? Was the conversation not flowing?0
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He had asked for a second date. I told him no thank you. When he asked for a reason, I figured the "no connection" was better than the realistic "you creeped me out". I do realize it was a cop out, but couldn't think of anything better to say at that point. I figured that he would do the same as you said and delete my number. I certainly didn't expect him to continue texting.
Perhaps the realistic "you creeped me out" could have been the more humanitarian approach. If that guy gets that feedback more often, perhaps he'll look inward and figure out why he's creeping women out. Maybe that will lead to some behaviors being changed.
Another aspect of this that I think should change is that more rejection should be done in person. I think this is true for both men and women. I know the last date I went on, I should have ended things right at the end of the date instead of poofing. On that date, which lasted 2 hours, I knew after about 5-10 mins that it wasn't going to work. Fortunately, it was a zero cost date as it was a walk around a lake on a good weather day. So at least I got some light exercise out of it. Better than consuming calories and spending money.
People say things in text communication (text messages, messaging on websites) that they wouldn't necessarily say in the flesh. Examples from this thread would probably be the fart in the mouth line as an opening line on a dating website and the stuff that was said after the 2nd date rejection from RunInTheMud.0 -
Just curious.. what about him made you feel no connection? Was it physical? Was the conversation not flowing?
The honest answer was that he was pushy, rude and creepy.
Our waiter was very attentive, but if he wasn't at the table the minute this man wanted him, he would get up and chase him down. He made comments to the waiter to the effect "I tip based on refills". When we decided it was time to go, he jumped up to find the waiter so we could get our check, instead of patiently waiting for it. The conversation was ok, but we really didn't have much in common. He started talking about signs from God and how they related to our date....now I'm a religious person, but that freaked me out a bit. (quite a bit). And, he had specifically asked me there to watch the football game, but anytime my eye wandered to the tv screen, he would let out a large sigh. We were at Buffalo Wild Wings...there are tvs all over and people yelling during the plays. It was hard not to look. I did focus completely on him for the first hour we were there before my team's game. But, as I was telling friend yesterday, this may go down as my worst first date ever.0 -
Perhaps the realistic "you creeped me out" could have been the more humanitarian approach. If that guy gets that feedback more often, perhaps he'll look inward and figure out why he's creeping women out. Maybe that will lead to some behaviors being changed.
Another aspect of this that I think should change is that more rejection should be done in person. I think this is true for both men and women. I know the last date I went on, I should have ended things right at the end of the date instead of poofing. On that date, which lasted 2 hours, I knew after about 5-10 mins that it wasn't going to work. Fortunately, it was a zero cost date as it was a walk around a lake on a good weather day. So at least I got some light exercise out of it. Better than consuming calories and spending money.
People say things in text communication (text messages, messaging on websites) that they wouldn't necessarily say in the flesh. Examples from this thread would probably be the fart in the mouth line as an opening line on a dating website and the stuff that was said after the 2nd date rejection from RunInTheMud.
When our check did come, he already had his credit card in hand and gave it to the waiter (I hadn't noticed that until it happened. I was fully prepared to pay my share). The waiter came back quickly and we walked fast to my car. There was no hug, there was no emotion. I told him thank you for dinner and that was it. He said drive safe, it was nice to meet you. And, then he nearly ran to his car. I assumed he knew there would be no second date. Otherwise, I would have made it much more clear at that time.
He sent a text as he was driving home asking if he would see me again. And, that's when it all began. I certainly would have preferred to do it in person, because I do believe it could have been handled a lot better that way. But, like I said, his body language indicated he had no intent of seeing me again either. Luckily, I haven't heard from him since that last odd message.0 -
The honest answer was that he was pushy, rude and creepy.
Our waiter was very attentive, but if he wasn't at the table the minute this man wanted him, he would get up and chase him down. He made comments to the waiter to the effect "I tip based on refills". When we decided it was time to go, he jumped up to find the waiter so we could get our check, instead of patiently waiting for it. The conversation was ok, but we really didn't have much in common. He started talking about signs from God and how they related to our date....now I'm a religious person, but that freaked me out a bit. (quite a bit). And, he had specifically asked me there to watch the football game, but anytime my eye wandered to the tv screen, he would let out a large sigh. We were at Buffalo Wild Wings...there are tvs all over and people yelling during the plays. It was hard not to look. I did focus completely on him for the first hour we were there before my team's game. But, as I was telling friend yesterday, this may go down as my worst first date ever.
Very good reasons not to see someone again.
Buffalo Wild Wings serves a purpose as a restaurant. But the purpose isn't being a quality location for an early stage date. There needs to be better ambiance. Ambiance is key is creating a romantic experience.
There's nothing romantic about watching football together at Buffalo Wild Wings. That's more of an established couple sort of thing.
Given his behavior though, no amount of good ambiance would have saved him.0 -
Perhaps the realistic "you creeped me out" could have been the more humanitarian approach. If that guy gets that feedback more often, perhaps he'll look inward and figure out why he's creeping women out. Maybe that will lead to some behaviors being changed.
Another aspect of this that I think should change is that more rejection should be done in person. I think this is true for both men and women. I know the last date I went on, I should have ended things right at the end of the date instead of poofing. On that date, which lasted 2 hours, I knew after about 5-10 mins that it wasn't going to work. Fortunately, it was a zero cost date as it was a walk around a lake on a good weather day. So at least I got some light exercise out of it. Better than consuming calories and spending money.
People say things in text communication (text messages, messaging on websites) that they wouldn't necessarily say in the flesh. Examples from this thread would probably be the fart in the mouth line as an opening line on a dating website and the stuff that was said after the 2nd date rejection from RunInTheMud.
When our check did come, he already had his credit card in hand and gave it to the waiter (I hadn't noticed that until it happened. I was fully prepared to pay my share). The waiter came back quickly and we walked fast to my car. There was no hug, there was no emotion. I told him thank you for dinner and that was it. He said drive safe, it was nice to meet you. And, then he nearly ran to his car. I assumed he knew there would be no second date. Otherwise, I would have made it much more clear at that time.
He sent a text as he was driving home asking if he would see me again. And, that's when it all began. I certainly would have preferred to do it in person, because I do believe it could have been handled a lot better that way. But, like I said, his body language indicated he had no intent of seeing me again either. Luckily, I haven't heard from him since that last odd message.
Very true.
One of the things that I feel about the early stages is that everything should be spelled out explicitly. Sometimes the most obvious cues are misinterpreted. Your interpretations were all correct.
I should start saying explicitly at the end of all my first dates if there's going to be a 2nd date or not in person. Removes uncertainty from the equation sooner. I think more women should do this as well. It seems like you were definitely willing to say that. Both sides would benefit from cutting the cord earlier, and in person with a fuller communication experience, rather than going into bizarre text messaging tangents.0 -
Buffalo Wild Wings is a horrible place for a first date. There isn't anything romantic about that setting whatsoever. I'm not sure why a guy would pick to watch football at BWW for their first date.
I think after-work drinks at a nice pub or lounge is the ideal first date. Somewhere that doesn't have so much visual stimuli (TV screens everywhere, scantly dressed waitress, etc) so you can focus on the conversation and build that romantic vibe.0 -
Hahaha!! I agree with both of you! However, I am a huge football fan and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt in picking the location. I thought that this could be something "fun". It was just an interesting night all around and a good lesson learned...
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Buffalo Wild Wings is a horrible place for a first date. There isn't anything romantic about that setting whatsoever. I'm not sure why a guy would pick to watch football at BWW for their first date.
I think after-work drinks at a nice pub or lounge is the ideal first date. Somewhere that doesn't have so much visual stimuli (TV screens everywhere, scantly dressed waitress, etc) so you can focus on the conversation and build that romantic vibe.
I don't know that the setting matters all that much. I wouldn't choose a McDonald's for a first date but if you're into someone you're into them and vice versa. I had a great first date that involved meeting at the grocery store to do some shopping and then ice cream in the parking lot.0 -
HE can say whatever he likes, i get the choice of whether to respond or not ;-)
if someone STARTS with sex talk, i'm not going to respond. i can get sex, easily. i want a relationship. :-)So would it have been okay if he wrote, "I want to shoot it on your belly?"0 -
Hahaha!! I agree with both of you! However, I am a huge football fan and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt in picking the location. I thought that this could be something "fun". It was just an interesting night all around and a good lesson learned...
Believe me, there is no bigger football fan than myself. I couldn't imagine a world without American football.
In my experience, whenever a date sounds like "fun", it usually ends up being more of a distraction than anything else. This distraction usually keeps you from bonding with the your date, which is so important in the first few dates.0
