BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013

Chibea

The most important thing I have learned on here is to not let my perfectionism or expectations derail my commitments. With that, I feel that I no longer binge! I do graze excessively, true enough. It's no longer the same self-abusive rage and guilt filled stuffing of my past. I want to let everyone in this group know how thankful I am for all the constant repeating about the need to forgive, love and respect ourselves, even if we did binge.

The turning point for me was when I just took a break from fighting it and watched my behavior with permission to go ahead and do whatever I felt I needed to do. I observed that I started each binge looking for a bit of comfort from a high calorie food, which really does make you feel better temporarily. Then it was the self hate that led to the binge. So, have figured out what my absolute favorite indulgent food is and I realize that that is the only food that is really worth the calories to me. I eat it, guilt free, and with great joy and gusto and drooling when I want.

I still have lots to look at nutritionally and in the exercise areas, of course. I hope to apply the same objective observations and guilt-free decision making to any other areas of my life that I'm not content with.

It has really worked for me and I hope this helps someone else to be free of binging.

IsMollyReallyHungry

Hello all!! Sorry I have not been around a while but I am still here. Glad to see you all are still here. Life happens. Just saw this awesome artilce from Shrink Yourself and had to share. Hopefully you all will see that you have made tremendous progress over the months, years, etc. Enjoy and let me know how you enjoy it!

The Biggest Mistake Binge Eaters Make
By: Michelle Fiordaliso, MSW, CNC

Never binging again is possible, but the biggest mistake binge eaters make is saying to themselves, "I'll never binge again!"

Yet, we all do it. The food is finished and we then promise ourselves that it will never happen again. And even though almost everyone that binges says this to themselves, it only serves to set you up for self-hatred, guilt and failure.

You see, no one who ends a pattern of binge eating does it cold turkey. You don't decide to stop and then never binge again. It's just not how ending a pattern of binging works. That's because the binge serves a very important purpose: It makes you feel better emotionally.

So, if you're committed to never binging again, what are the signs along the way that signify you're succeeding:
More time between binges (even something small for example, I used to binge eat every other day and now only do it every third day)

Shorter binges (My binges used to last two days, now they only last an hour)

Binges on smaller amounts of food (I used to binge eat a gallon of ice-cream, now I eat half a pint)

The ability to stop a binge in the middle (I used to not even realize I was having a binge till it was over, now I can stop myself in the middle)

Forgiving yourself more quickly after a binge ends (I don't talk to myself in a mean way when I binge, I have compassion for myself)

Bouncing back more quickly when a binge happens (in other words recommitting to understanding and stopping your binge eating pattern)

Understanding what feelings set off the binge (I was able to see that I had the binge after I had a fight with my boss)

The ability to see a binge coming (even if you can't stop it yet)

Being able to acknowledge the small successes along the way is a really important step on the road to recovery. It can be all too easy to see how far you still need to go and forget how far you've already come.

Ending a binge eating pattern is hard work but you can do it. One day you might not binge at all, but it won't happen by making a declaration; it will happen by being loving to yourself and staying aware.

So, don't say, "I'll never binge again." Instead, take it one gentle step at a time. Remember, you're looking for progress, not perfection.

IsMollyReallyHungry

This youtube link which is about 22 min long is awesome insight into why weight maintenance is hard. I have learned over the years that weight maintenance is harder than losing weight and keeping it off. A must watch if obese and you have ever yo-yoed. You have to watch the whole thing. Knowledge is good because even though hard, it is possible to maintain weight loss for sure -- especially with knowledge. Many of the things on here I have read before.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1115397-understanding-why-it-s-so-difficult-to-maintain-weight

MSWDiet

THANKS FOR SPREADING THE KNOWLEDGE. MAINTENANCE IS NOT AS EASY AS EATING THE RIGHT CALORIES FOR YOUR WEIGHT AND EXERCISING. METABOLISM IS SO MUCH MORE COMPLEX THAN THE DOC'S STANDARD LINE OR ADVICE ON POPULAR TELEVISION. PERHAPS IT IS USEFUL FOR THE PERSON LOOKING TO LOSE & MAINTAIN LOSS OF A FEW POUNDS. HOWEVER, MANAGING OBESITY, MORBID OBESITY AND SUPER MORBID OBESITY OVER THE LONG HAUL IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS LIGHTENING UP YOUR FAVORITE COFFEE SHOP BEVERAGE, ETC.

jen_zz

Thanks for your 2 posts IsMollyReally! Very helpful.

Didn't notice this sticky before..

kspexet

This is really the first time I have admitted to myself that I binge eat. I know all of the "rules" I am supposed to follow to lose weight. I know what to do, but I can't seem to do it.

I know my eating problems are emotional. I stress eat, then I hate myself for doing it and do it again. It is a vicious cycle. I can 't seem to stop.

I just want to be normal and quit obsessing about food and losing weight. Unfortunatley, I feel like I am under even more pressure to lose weight because I am starting to have health problems due to being overweight.

My blood pressue is high and I can't get it under control. What is wrong with me??? Why can't I do this?

LalaBerlin

This is really the first time I have admitted to myself that I binge eat. I know all of the "rules" I am supposed to follow to lose weight. I know what to do, but I can't seem to do it.

I know my eating problems are emotional. I stress eat, then I hate myself for doing it and do it again. It is a vicious cycle. I can 't seem to stop.

More or less the same here. Today I went to a birthday party with lots of delicious food and I managed to stay in control of what and how much I eat. Usually when there is warm and cold buffet I tend to take something here and there, then have a second helping, and another, then I would stay in the kitchen, chitchat and nibble.

The problem with binge eating for me is (besides the fact that binge eating is a problem itself) that I think: Ok, I binged yesterday so it doesn't make any difference if I binge eat again today. Then I would lose track for some days, eating just too much of everything: pizza, icecream, chips/crisps, etc.