Single Peeps Pairings (Be the Matchmaker!)
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@JJ- Nobody said the guy was 'cheating'!!! Unless you consider 'saying disgusting things' (very subjective) as cheating??
Um... yeah...so wait… you find out your husband is talking dirty/sexy with other women and it doesn’t bother you? You’re certainly entitled to your opinion. For me, if those” disgusting things” are of a sexual nature, or of an intimate nature that should only be discussed by husband and wife, then yes, I count it as cheating.
Note my use of the word "should." This is subjective and varies from person to person, couple to couple. We've had postings from time to time from a full range of opinions on this- from people who think their SO shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex to those who think open marriages are ok.
I do NOT agree with the perspective that that's just how people are online. We are free moral agents and can carry ourselves however we want- with dignity and honor (whatever that means to each of us and our SOs in our individual situations) regardless of the nature of this being a place people come to help themselves and get extra encouragement. I remember some of The_Iron's posts and they reflected a soul that needed a LOT of encouragement at that point in his journey.
I do agree with BondBomb's point that this particular thread was probably not the place to broadcast it.
This feels to me like another case of "We tout tolerance, but in reality we only tolerate people who are like us." If a spouse catches their SO cheating, they should be free to post it without being jumped with name calling and disrespect. In this case, my opinion is that a more appropriate response would be (as I and several others said) to just leave it at "I'm sorry to hear that, hope you’re ok, but just so you know I never saw The_Iron behave inappropriately."0 -
If a spouse catches their SO cheating, they should be free to post it without being jumped with name calling and disrespect. In this case, my opinion is that a more appropriate response would be (as I and several others said) to just leave it at "I'm sorry to hear that, hope you’re ok, but just so you know I never saw The_Iron behave inappropriately."
Since you are no doubt without sin (to use your vernacular), and would appreciate your alleged indiscretions being exposed on a public forum.
I guess it's time for a Single Peeps!'s pop quiz:
You've just found out your SO has been flirting with others on-line, perhaps even misrepresenting his marital status. Choose the best response:
A - Ignore it and hope it goes away.
B - Confront him privately. Discuss it with him calmly.
C - Post the entire drama on-line so all his virtual friends know he's a "cheater." Hang around a bit and answer a few questions to embarrass him even further.
--P0 -
You made accusations about other potential fakers here as well without any proof of anyone except your husband.
Wow. Really? My goodness! Am *I* the only one on here that has had married men approach them through this site??? C'mon. Really? This happens all the time! I'm nowhere NEAR as cute as you gals are (according ot the who's hot and who you wanna date threads anyhow) and even *I* get these (guess they don't read my posts) so please tell me that you guys really don't believe that there's no one troling on threads.0 -
Smart to get on-line and bust him? Like a Jerry Springer episode? Yeah, that's going to end well. Since guys love to be embarrassed in front of others.
They recommend telling the affair with all affected parties. That means both families of the affair partners. If it happened at work, it means telling the boss and getting a transfer so the wayward parties don’t work together again. Whoever was affected. If people from this group (there are 1000+ members, only a handful of which actively post) were predominately in the mix, I see nothing wrong with broadcasting it IF your intention is to save the marriage. It’s called accountability, and I wish our world was better at holding people accountable for their actions.
In order to save the marriage one has to create an environment hostile to the development of an affair. The #1 way to do this is to expose this. The #2 way to do this is no secrets (which is why I wouldn't have considered it snooping)
I'm a bit sad that I'm in the minority on this. I have no idea if the guy cheated or not. But the fact that if he did, so few people care is really surprising to me. I usually enjoy seeking out information on how other people think and feel, but this is a little personal for me, so I'm gonna stay out of this thread. If anyone else wants to know about my position on this, either PM me or check out the resources I mentioned above.0 -
Well, this thread took an unfortunate turn. It was actually fun to read before all the bickering began...as usual.0
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The_Iron did nothing wrong. Even if he was flirting with people online, I don't consider that cheating at all. A guy has got to have some fun, especially if their partner is wound a bit too tight. Marriages and long term relationships can get really boring from time to time, I see nothing wrong with the guy (who doesn't even have a real picture up) coming on here and doing some flirting.
I've always thought people who don't have a real picture in their profile to be suspicious. I get a lot of e-mails from women online who don't have a profile picture. This tells me one of two things, either she's married or she isn't much to look at. No profile picture is shady in my opinion. This is true on a dating site or any other forum where people interact with each other.0 -
Since you are no doubt without sin (to use your vernacular), and would appreciate your alleged indiscretions being exposed on a public forum.
I guess it's time for a Single Peeps!'s pop quiz:
You've just found out your SO has been flirting with others on-line, perhaps even misrepresenting his marital status. Choose the best response:
A - Ignore it and hope it goes away.
B - Confront him privately. Discuss it with him calmly.
C - Post the entire drama on-line so all his virtual friends know he's a "cheater." Hang around a bit and answer a few questions to embarrass him even further.
--P
Option C. Gives us something funny to read while at work.0 -
@Crowstoppa, Sorry to hear about your relationship issues, that is unfortunate.
I only recall The Iron making some amusing jokes on our forum. And personally, I never had any private conversations with him.
I find the arguments that surround this revelation to be interesting...
@Janie, I think you're taking everyone's surprise, confusion or even some defensiveness as approval here, which isn't the case. I would venture to say that most of us are not interested in getting involved with cheating drama. However, because I happen to read and post online here, am I or others responsible because one person did not take his vows seriously? No. At the same time, do I agree with what he did (assuming the revelation is accurate)? Not at all. My point is that online we must all take what others say with a grain of salt and we can only control our own actions and words, but please don't mistake that attitude for approval. I hope that makes sense.0 -
He was pretty sexually aggressive towards me.
One time in the shower.... well, nevermind.
Honestly that dude comes in like once in a blue moon, don't even think I'd say he's a regular... but I guess she has every right to punch him in the balls!0 -
If a spouse catches their SO cheating, they should be free to post it without being jumped with name calling and disrespect. In this case, my opinion is that a more appropriate response would be (as I and several others said) to just leave it at "I'm sorry to hear that, hope you’re ok, but just so you know I never saw The_Iron behave inappropriately."
Since you are no doubt without sin (to use your vernacular), and would appreciate your alleged indiscretions being exposed on a public forum.
I guess it's time for a Single Peeps!'s pop quiz:
You've just found out your SO has been flirting with others on-line, perhaps even misrepresenting his marital status. Choose the best response:
A - Ignore it and hope it goes away.
B - Confront him privately. Discuss it with him calmly.
C - Post the entire drama on-line so all his virtual friends know he's a "cheater." Hang around a bit and answer a few questions to embarrass him even further.
--P
A- I guess, I don't really give a *kitten* if my girl flirts with dudes hundreds of miles away... I know she doesn't have the funds to travel.0 -
I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.
Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.
Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.
Smart to get on-line and bust him? Like a Jerry Springer episode? Yeah, that's going to end well. Since guys love to be embarrassed in front of others.
The woman comes across as a shrill &!*@#... I'd be trolling single sites, too, if that was my wife. It beats suicide...
--P
Can we really be sure that she is married to the Iron?? Maybe she's just some crazy *kitten* ex.... I will continue to flirt with him till I have proof.0 -
Well, I still think Joshua is pretty awesome. He was always supportive and very witty. People make mistakes.... hope all involved heal soon.0
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I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.
Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.
Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.
Smart to get on-line and bust him? Like a Jerry Springer episode? Yeah, that's going to end well. Since guys love to be embarrassed in front of others.
The woman comes across as a shrill &!*@#... I'd be trolling single sites, too, if that was my wife. It beats suicide...
--P
Can we really be sure that she is married to the Iron?? Maybe she's just some crazy *kitten* ex.... I will continue to flirt with him till I have proof.
From what I know I believe this to be the case....she's his ex.0 -
Can we really be sure that she is married to the Iron?? Maybe she's just some crazy *kitten* ex.... I will continue to flirt with him till I have proof.
That was something that I was thinking, but am glad someone else said it.
It'd be nice if he told his side of things, but he has deactivated.
I didn't know him all too well.
I'm neutral.0 -
If a spouse catches their SO cheating, they should be free to post it without being jumped with name calling and disrespect. In this case, my opinion is that a more appropriate response would be (as I and several others said) to just leave it at "I'm sorry to hear that, hope you’re ok, but just so you know I never saw The_Iron behave inappropriately."
Since you are no doubt without sin (to use your vernacular), and would appreciate your alleged indiscretions being exposed on a public forum.
I guess it's time for a Single Peeps!'s pop quiz:
You've just found out your SO has been flirting with others on-line, perhaps even misrepresenting his marital status. Choose the best response:
A - Ignore it and hope it goes away.
B - Confront him privately. Discuss it with him calmly.
C - Post the entire drama on-line so all his virtual friends know he's a "cheater." Hang around a bit and answer a few questions to embarrass him even further.
--P
A- I guess, I don't really give a *kitten* if my girl flirts with dudes hundreds of miles away... I know she doesn't have the funds to travel.
Heh. Funny you should mention that, Poncho...
;-)
--P0 -
I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.
Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.
Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.
Smart to get on-line and bust him? Like a Jerry Springer episode? Yeah, that's going to end well. Since guys love to be embarrassed in front of others.
The woman comes across as a shrill &!*@#... I'd be trolling single sites, too, if that was my wife. It beats suicide...
--P
Can we really be sure that she is married to the Iron?? Maybe she's just some crazy *kitten* ex.... I will continue to flirt with him till I have proof.
From what I know I believe this to be the case....she's his ex.
Or could she actually be the_Iron himself, posing as some chick......I don't know what to believe anymore!0 -
I would not have bothered to go online and alert everyone. Too often women focus their anger on the other woman/women than where it needs to be.... their *kitten* husbands.
I would be pissed...because as a very sexual person myself, I can't really imagine that part of my partner's life would be unfulfilled. But...people do these things for many reasons and variety is the spice of life I suppose.
But yes. I would consider it cheating (of a sort) if I did it or he did. I would have a very hard time getting over it, if at all.
I have cheated. But I knew exactly what I was doing and wanted to get caught. I never said I thought that was right...I just said I had personal reasons for it.0 -
I would not have bothered to go online and alert everyone. Too often women focus their anger on the other woman/women than where it needs to be.... their *kitten* husbands.
I would be pissed...because as a very sexual person myself, I can't really imagine that part of my partner's life would be unfulfilled. But...people do these things for many reasons and variety is the spice of life I suppose.
But yes. I would consider it cheating (of a sort) if I did it or he did. I would have a very hard time getting over it, if at all.
I have cheated. But I knew exactly what I was doing and wanted to get caught. I never said I thought that was right...I just said I had personal reasons for it.
He's a tall drink of water... needs to spread his *kitten* out!0 -
IF they are still married, this is an issue for them to to discuss together and he needs to end them. But, that is not our issue. Would I want my husband flirting with other women online, no. But, I would not blast messages out if I found out about it.
If he was flirting with other women on this site, when he disappears, they'll get the message. It's the internet... who cares? Those women will find others to flirt with.
If he had relationships in real life, then he needs to end them or end the relationship with his wife. It's his decision and not one that is any of our business. And, she should not be the one informing the "mistress". That is my opinion. He's made his bed, he can lie it.0 -
@Janie, I think you're taking everyone's surprise, confusion or even some defensiveness as approval here, which isn't the case. I would venture to say that most of us are not interested in getting involved with cheating drama. However, because I happen to read and post online here, am I or others responsible because one person did not take his vows seriously? No. At the same time, do I agree with what he did (assuming the revelation is accurate)? Not at all. My point is that online we must all take what others say with a grain of salt and we can only control our own actions and words, but please don't mistake that attitude for approval. I hope that makes sense.
This exactly. If it's true I think it's terrible. But I'm very unimpressed with the idea of coming in and dragging completely innocent strangers into it. If I was having dinner with a couple of friends and someone stormed in and started shrieking about their husband, who hung out with us a month ago purely innocently, is cheating on her I'd think the same thing.
I don't think cheating is okay and cool, and I have said in the past that I was unknowingly the other woman. When I found out I ended it, but it's hard for me to feel guilty over something that I had no knowledge I was participating in. This is similar except I haven't done anything even remotely connecting me to this guy.0
