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Woman should make the first move?
Replies
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I'd rather find someone very agreeable with a warm personality (1950's housewife skills like baking and sandwich making is a huge plus too!)
Yes, this is very desirable.
If you want to live a boring life.
If I was married to an alpha woman.. she'd be throwing lamps and dishes at me everyday. Boring sounds pretty good compared to that.
lol Mike is just saving some Alpha woman jail time for murder is all j/k:bigsmile:0 -
Alpha =/= bully
Y'all are using the term wrong and it's really buggin'. It's like the different between confidence and arrogance.0 -
Why do you always assume so much in your arguments? I go on deployment, you write "well you volunteered for it." No I didn’t. When I joined the military, people in my career field were never allowed out of the country.
I meant you volunteered for the military (and btw, wasn't that thread over a month ago???). Clearly you volunteered for the military, didn't you? I think the draft was discontinued a generation ago...I write about my debt. You write "must have been 1.4$M" (I don’t know anyone who split debt even- in fact the military buddies all seemed to end up with most of it). Why not just respond to the information that is provided?
I did not write "must have been 1.4$M". Why are you putting words in my mouth? I put the 1.4M USD number with a question mark, implying I just don't know. But that it's probably more than just the 700k that you were on the hook for. And apparently I was correct, it was higher, something you later confirmed. Why are you putting things in quotes that I didn't write? You do understand quotation marks are for exact quotes, right? Very creepy.My ex is not bad with money. His debt was not due to inability to manage his money, but due to (he said this to me) the fact that he knew I, wanting to keep my security clearances, would find a way to do whatever it took to dig us out.
Um, ok, I guess he's not bad with money. He's just a psychopath. But doesn't this make my point even more valid? Even if he had made lots of money, clearly he wanted to hurt you, and chose money (specifically, debt) as his weapon. Seems like he would have just wasted more money had he held a great paying job, simply out of spite.
--P0 -
Nice way to not read the whole para you quoted.Why do you always assume so much in your arguments? I go on deployment, you write "well you volunteered for it." No I didn’t. When I joined the military, people in my career field were never allowed out of the country.
I meant you volunteered for the military (and btw, wasn't that thread over a month ago???). Clearly you volunteered for the military, didn't you? I think the draft was discontinued a generation ago...
You are right. I cut n pasted that from someone's writing about your post, not your actual post. Mea culpa.I did not write "must have been 1.4$M". Why are you putting words in my mouth?
Look in the mirror dude.Very creepy.0 -
The exact opposite is true for men. As an alpha male type, the last type of person I want to date is an alpha female. I'd rather find someone very agreeable with a warm personality (1950's housewife skills like baking and sandwich making is a huge plus too!)
this is the type of wife i was. i LIKE that role and i would do it again.
unfortunately for me, it was and wasn't what my ex wanted. so it made life VERY difficult. no matter what i did, i was wrong.0 -
Alpha =/= bully
Y'all are using the term wrong and it's really buggin'. It's like the different between confidence and arrogance.
TRUE alphas aren't the nicest people usually. they can be quite jerky. maybe not throwing lamps or bullys, but more like arrogance than confidence.......
my dad was an alpha male, he was arrogant ( a lot of the time) and my ex is an alpha. he is arrogant ALL of the time. people quit their jobs because of him!!!!! he is a TRUE alpha male.........0 -
Alpha =/= bully
Y'all are using the term wrong and it's really buggin'. It's like the different between confidence and arrogance.
TRUE alphas aren't the nicest people usually. they can be quite jerky. maybe not throwing lamps or bullys, but more like arrogance than confidence.......
my dad was an alpha male, he was arrogant ( a lot of the time) and my ex is an alpha. he is arrogant ALL of the time. people quit their jobs because of him!!!!! he is a TRUE alpha male.........
That's what I'm saying. TRUE alpha's are like that at all. Those are bullies who call themselves alpha so they feel big and strong and push you around. Just like arrogant people say they're confident when they're not, they're just people who hide their insecurity behind being loud and douchey.0 -
I think I'd like an Alpha female...or at least certain traits normally found in an Alpha personality. I could do without both of us travelling all the time, but Im tired of ppl I have to "take care of". In that sense, I would like to date someone of at least the means to pay their own bills etc and not be a drain on me or assume I am paying for everything. But yeah I think Im gonna seek out an alpha female, its been awhile and Im ready to give it another run.
Oh and for the record, I agree with Kits, we are skewing the definition of Alpha and also including *kitten* personality with alpha...you dont have to be an *kitten* to be an alpha...you simply have to have the ability to be an *kitten* when the situation warrants it!0 -
See, the problem is I'm Alpha at work, but not at home. So, where do I fall into all this? lol... but, seriously. I go to work, am damn good at it but leave it there. I'm not a doormat at home, but I'm very much a different woman than you see in the office every day.0
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I am alpha when it comes to certain things. There's a lot that I'm "eh" about. Like I don't care about decor a whole lot. I'll have my input but... eh. But I will be in charge of training the animals. I don't care how you spend your free money, but I expect there to be a saving and would prefer to be in charge of the budget (not saying I have final say on what money goes where, I just want to be in charge of tracking it and planning debt payments and savings stuff).
So I dunno...0 -
That's what I'm saying. TRUE alpha's are like that at all. Those are bullies who call themselves alpha so they feel big and strong and push you around. Just like arrogant people say they're confident when they're not, they're just people who hide their insecurity behind being loud and douchey.
true alphas dominate. trust me, my father and ex are TRUE alphas. my father controlled his company. he was senior, had the most clients, EVERYONE knew who he was. he wrote books, was on TV, the radio etc. Has buildings named after him, so forth and so on. My ex, same way. He's the reason the gov't is where it is in terms of weaponry. he is the top in his field. his current company will either continue to rise or fall based on HIM.
with this status comes arrogance and the ability to abuse that power and mistreat others and feel it's "ok." most people who think they are true alphas, aren't. most people are really betas with alpha tendencies and that's what most people end up being attracted to in the long run.
true alphas are hard to tolerate long term..........0 -
I am alpha when it comes to certain things. There's a lot that I'm "eh" about. Like I don't care about decor a whole lot. I'll have my input but... eh. But I will be in charge of training the animals. I don't care how you spend your free money, but I expect there to be a saving and would prefer to be in charge of the budget (not saying I have final say on what money goes where, I just want to be in charge of tracking it and planning debt payments and savings stuff).
So I dunno...
Makes sense and good to know I'm not the only one that's a mix. 0 -
That's what I'm saying. TRUE alpha's are like that at all. Those are bullies who call themselves alpha so they feel big and strong and push you around. Just like arrogant people say they're confident when they're not, they're just people who hide their insecurity behind being loud and douchey.
true alphas dominate. trust me, my father and ex are TRUE alphas. my father controlled his company. he was senior, had the most clients, EVERYONE knew who he was. he wrote books, was on TV, the radio etc. Has buildings named after him, so forth and so on. My ex, same way. He's the reason the gov't is where it is in terms of weaponry. he is the top in his field. his current company will either continue to rise or fall based on HIM.
with this status comes arrogance and the ability to abuse that power and mistreat others and feel it's "ok." most people who think they are true alphas, aren't. most people are really betas with alpha tendencies and that's what most people end up being attracted to in the long run.
true alphas are hard to tolerate long term..........
You keep saying "True alpha" but what I'm trying to tell you is that your notion of what a "true alpha" is, is incorrect. Especially your understanding as it function in a society. You are using alpha as a synonym for bully, but it is not. It's use in this case is pertaining to hierarchy, most commonly associated with wolves. The alpha wolf is NOT a bully. The alpha wolf is a confident, calm leader that is only assertive and defensive when necessary. They don't go around picking on the other wolves because they don't need to - they're secure in their position.
Here is a published study to support my claim: http://www.wolf.org/wolves/learn/basic/resources/mech_pdfs/267alphastatus_english.pdf0 -
Absolutely agree with Kits. The term alpha is thrown around a lot...and usually inaccurately when applied to humans. It certainly doesn't mean bully, aggressive or even A type.
Using the terms...I might be an alpha who masquerades as a beta. In groups I try quite hard to stand back and give others a chance to lead...but it inevitably comes back to me. I am regularly told how strong and confident I am by other women. But when it comes to relationships I seem to want to take a very different role. I don't want to lead or dominate at all..but because of natural tendencies to do so, I require a very strong partner.0 -
The terms alpha and beta should die in a fire.0
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The terms alpha and beta should die in a fire.
Why?0 -
The terms alpha and beta should die in a fire.
Why?
Generally alpha and beta to an extent can be subjective (although most people can agree on general definitions of each term), and they tend to be misused frequently.0 -
The terms alpha and beta should die in a fire.
I first read this as the terms alpha and beta should die with tier. I think I need new contacts.0 -
That's what I'm saying. TRUE alpha's are like that at all. Those are bullies who call themselves alpha so they feel big and strong and push you around. Just like arrogant people say they're confident when they're not, they're just people who hide their insecurity behind being loud and douchey.
true alphas dominate. trust me, my father and ex are TRUE alphas. my father controlled his company. he was senior, had the most clients, EVERYONE knew who he was. he wrote books, was on TV, the radio etc. Has buildings named after him, so forth and so on. My ex, same way. He's the reason the gov't is where it is in terms of weaponry. he is the top in his field. his current company will either continue to rise or fall based on HIM.
with this status comes arrogance and the ability to abuse that power and mistreat others and feel it's "ok." most people who think they are true alphas, aren't. most people are really betas with alpha tendencies and that's what most people end up being attracted to in the long run.
true alphas are hard to tolerate long term..........
You keep saying "True alpha" but what I'm trying to tell you is that your notion of what a "true alpha" is, is incorrect. Especially your understanding as it function in a society. You are using alpha as a synonym for bully, but it is not. It's use in this case is pertaining to hierarchy, most commonly associated with wolves. The alpha wolf is NOT a bully. The alpha wolf is a confident, calm leader that is only assertive and defensive when necessary. They don't go around picking on the other wolves because they don't need to - they're secure in their position.
Here is a published study to support my claim: http://www.wolf.org/wolves/learn/basic/resources/mech_pdfs/267alphastatus_english.pdf
i didn't say anything about being a bully, YOU said the bullying part. and i didn't say anything about them picking on others YOU said that. i just said they are usually arrogant jerks ( usually). and of course not at first. in order to get the alpha spot a wolf, or dog, still has to "go up against" the others.
i've been reading about this a lot, as i'm getting one or two siberian husky puppies in february. i'm not alpha, and yet here i have to figure out HOW to be the alpha in the eyes of these dogs.......0 -
The alpha wolf is NOT a bully. The alpha wolf is a confident, calm leader that is only assertive and defensive when necessary. They don't go around picking on the other wolves because they don't need to - they're secure in their position.
Here is a published study to support my claim: http://www.wolf.org/wolves/learn/basic/resources/mech_pdfs/267alphastatus_english.pdf
How could a wolf be a bully? And how does one determine is a wolf is confident? I wonder what would constitute a wolf picking on another wolf?
I think wolves and humans are much different in a lot of ways.0
