Paying for dates?
diodelcibo
Posts: 2,564 Member
Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
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Replies
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Wanna go on a date?Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?0 -
As a women I try not to think that the man will automatically pay for me.I always take money and offer to pay my portion. If I invited a guy out on a date I would like him to assume the same however never having actually asked a guy on a date it's never come up for me lol0
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Wanna go on a date?Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
Depends , how much bacon will there be?0 -
so not what i expected.0
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Lots of bacon. Bacon cheeseburgers, bacon pancakes, chocolate covered bacon, etc.
Wanna go on a date?Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
Depends , how much bacon will there be?0 -
I have boobs. I don't pay.0
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I have boobs. I don't pay.
I have boobs too... albeit smaller in size0 -
I have boobs. I don't pay.
sure you do, with boob-currency0 -
I always offer to pay for mine, and the only time I had to pay for mine on date one I also had to pay for his too.
I am all for dutch - but paying him for date one, really??? I always offer to pay, even after a guy told me to stop asking as he would never let me pay. It's just not my nature to 'take advantage' so I always asked as a sign of respect - or I would treat him to a surprise to show my appreciation.0 -
I have boobs. I don't pay.
Forget the boobs....BEER!!!0 -
I have no issue always paying as long as you ladies agree I should continue to make 15% higher salary for the same job.0
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Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
So, you were asked out by a woman and you think she should pay?? Was she just being assertive in doing the asking?? Why did you go?? Are you interested in her, or just being polite??
I think if a guy expected me to pay the whole evening, then I'd take it as a sign he's not interested in me. I think most men would feel uncomfortable doing this?
But it does depend. Like, if I asked you to go to a concert cos I had tickets, then I wouldnt want the money for them, or yours. But I'd expect you to buy a couple drinks or pay the cab or something.
And then of course, if you're my b/f then I'd pay for whole dates.0 -
Newly single here...the world's changed since I was last single. I'm clueless....waiting for more opinions.0
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In all seriousness, I would always pay for the first date. And likely the second. I would be highly impressed by a girl who not only asked me out on a creative date but also footed the bill.
Every relationship I've had has been one sided financially. Female friends of mine have told me that is ridiculous and I should stop that. I think that after the initial first few dates, things should probably balance out a bit more. It does make me feel good to be able to provide, but there is a point where you are just being taken advantage of.0 -
I have boobs. I don't pay.
Forget the boobs....BEER!!!
Paid for by....BOOBS.
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If I ask a guy out... I assume I'll be paying. Usually he'll offer to pay or split. But, if I'm doing the asking I never EXPECT him to pay anything.0
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In all seriousness, I would always pay for the first date. And likely the second. I would be highly impressed by a girl who not only asked me out on a creative date but also footed the bill.
Every relationship I've had has been one sided financially. Female friends of mine have told me that is ridiculous and I should stop that. I think that after the initial first few dates, things should probably balance out a bit more. It does make me feel good to be able to provide, but there is a point where you are just being taken advantage of.
I was going to post this on your status so as not to ruin my joke here but you deleted your status.
Jokes aside, yea I agree with you. Who pays doesn't matter to me as long as it's not totally one-sided throughout the entirety of the relationship. I've been in relationships where I was too generous and got taken advantage of financially. Never again. And I wouldn't expect that on the guy, either.0 -
In all seriousness, I would always pay for the first date. And likely the second. I would be highly impressed by a girl who not only asked me out on a creative date but also footed the bill.
Every relationship I've had has been one sided financially. Female friends of mine have told me that is ridiculous and I should stop that. I think that after the initial first few dates, things should probably balance out a bit more. It does make me feel good to be able to provide, but there is a point where you are just being taken advantage of.
Yeah I have to agree with your female friends. Even if you do pay for the first few dates, she should offer to pay for one or atleast take you to the bar and pay for drinks.... I went to the movies the other night and Holy *kitten* that got expensive quick and we got the tickets for free lol
Its not fair for a guy to pay the entire time while your dating. Also I would think it would limit how often you two would be able to go out lol0 -
Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
So, you were asked out by a woman and you think she should pay?? Was she just being assertive in doing the asking?? Why did you go?? Are you interested in her, or just being polite??
I think if a guy expected me to pay the whole evening, then I'd take it as a sign he's not interested in me. I think most men would feel uncomfortable doing this?
But it does depend. Like, if I asked you to go to a concert cos I had tickets, then I wouldnt want the money for them, or yours. But I'd expect you to buy a couple drinks or pay the cab or something.
And then of course, if you're my b/f then I'd pay for whole dates.
She asked me out on a date, I was thinking at the time when she asked we'd be splitting , I just mentioned the her paying because when I asked a friend afterwards she said that if someone took her out on a date she'd expect them to pay.
I'm was interested fairly interested in her at the time but the paying at the end kind of made me a little angry.0 -
Second meeting with a guy this Saturday (first was just coffee).. we are going out for dinner and to an AHL hockey game. I offered to pick up the tickets. They will be considerably less than dinner though.0
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I was going to post this on your status so as not to ruin my joke here but you deleted your status.
Yeah, I'm stealthy with those status deletes... Are you offering to buy me stuff?0 -
Second meeting with a guy this Saturday (first was just coffee).. we are going out for dinner and to an AHL hockey game. I offered to pick up the tickets. They will be considerably less than dinner though.
That's really what most guys are looking for I think - basically a gesture of good faith. Well done.0 -
Say if someone asked you out on date ,is it not expected that they either pay or the bill is split, not that you end up paying?
So, you were asked out by a woman and you think she should pay?? Was she just being assertive in doing the asking?? Why did you go?? Are you interested in her, or just being polite??
I think if a guy expected me to pay the whole evening, then I'd take it as a sign he's not interested in me. I think most men would feel uncomfortable doing this?
But it does depend. Like, if I asked you to go to a concert cos I had tickets, then I wouldnt want the money for them, or yours. But I'd expect you to buy a couple drinks or pay the cab or something.
And then of course, if you're my b/f then I'd pay for whole dates.
She asked me out on a date, I was thinking at the time when she asked we'd be splitting , I just mentioned the her paying because when I asked a friend afterwards she said that if someone took her out on a date she'd expect them to pay.
I'm was interested fairly interested in her at the time but the paying at the end kind of made me a little angry.
Yeah, it's poor show to ask and then not pay a penny!! She should have at least offered...... is she dumped now? lol0 -
If I ask a guy out... I assume I'll be paying. Usually he'll offer to pay or split. But, if I'm doing the asking I never EXPECT him to pay anything.
THIS... exactly. If I ask a man out, I expect that I'll be paying for the whole night. If it's a first date, so be it. A lot of times it ends up being a second or third date. The guys are genuinely surprised, but I tell them they can get the ice cream or the next date (depending on how much I like him).
Luckily, I can't remember the first time I asked a man out on a first date. On almost all first dates, I have brought out my credit card when it was time to pay (only missed it on the times when they were fast). None of them allowed me to even go dutch.0 -
I wouldn't ask a guy out but I think she should pick it up if she does the asking. I would feel so awkward if I asked a guy out then sat there and waited for him to pay. He is being nice to me by going out so the very least I could pick up the tab. I think men should ask women out.
Who is this woman? Why did she ask you out first? Do you like her?0 -
If I ask a guy out... I assume I'll be paying. Usually he'll offer to pay or split. But, if I'm doing the asking I never EXPECT him to pay anything.
I agree with this.... but in the end I always insist on paying. Anyone asking me out has just made my evening and I would be glad to pay.0 -
I am not really used to being wined and dined.. and honestly do not expect it ever. Cost of living, eating and going out here is really high and I don't think I "deserve" to be paid for just because I am a woman.
I think it is good manners to offer and expect to be paying your share (ie. have money to cover it!), but I am so appreciative and even a little flattered when the offer is refused.0 -
I wouldn't ask a guy out but I think she should pick it up if she does the asking. I would feel so awkward if I asked a guy out then sat there and waited for him to pay. He is being nice to me by going out so the very least I could pick up the tab. I think men should ask women out.
Who is this woman? Why did she ask you out first? Do you like her?
A woman I met travelling for business but it turned out we only lived 30 minutes apart. Not sure just think she was keen to know me better, at the moment in a physical sense yes but some things of her personality do annoy me .0 -
The person who does the asking should be paying, at least for the first few dates.
Once you start seeing each other more frequently, I think it should be 50/50.
The only time I even offer to pay on a first date is when I know I don't want to see the guy again. (I feel bad about him spending money on me.)0 -
Funny that... if there is one domain where women don't mind rules this is definitely when it's time to pick up the tab.
Oh oh ah ah eh eh uh uh... Well am I glad they are just guidelines for me!
I'm thinking you guys must be minted. :laugh:
The way I personally see things is that I get the drinks, she gets the diner, I get the cinema,... So everyone tries to more or less pay their part. No hard feelings. The day one of the tentative partners feel resentful though (for whatever reason), this is over.
Ok, two things pop to my mind right now...
1) Income is a very important factor to how women perceive you.
It makes sense to be perceived as a high earner (yes I'm also implying that you should exaggerate your income slightly online, it's good for your messaging rate).
It probably doesn't hurt offline either.
Source: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/
2) The "Ben Franklin effect" that states that a person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that person.
When we do a person a favor, we tend to like them more as a result. This is because we justify our actions to ourselves that we did them a favor because we liked them.
So this could imply that (as a man) I benefit from letting women pay for the dates. They like me more as a result.
I have actually noticed this was the case, although maybe they liked me enough and this is why they wanted to pay for the dates?
http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/ben_franklin_effect.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect
3) Free bonus for the guys and recommended reading: the PUA's opinion
http://www.girlschase.com/content/should-you-pay-date
Or YOU can get an ice cream right now, for free! * BAM *The guys are genuinely surprised, but I tell them they can get the ice cream or the next date (depending on how much I like him).
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Oooh yeaaah!0
