Might sound like a stupid question but...
Replies
-
But no, her hotness or lack of isn't relevant - he likes her, the end.In terms of the is she hot factor - why would that actually matter?
I'm going completely from a stereotype on this and I know there are exceptions, but... If this girl is the high school cheerleader gone model, and this guy is the safe squishy friend-zone pillow... Well, we know how that one plays out.
Hate me if you must. I've been that guy before.0 -
Sorry that you've been in that situation, but there could be a variety of other reasons she wasn't interested. Maybe people were that shallow in high school but I'm in my 30s - I don't see women rejecting men because they are hot and the guy is not. You see hot girls with not so hot guys ALL the time. But rarely do you see the opposite.0
-
Many women are still shallow, some really aren't at all..you just never know what type of a woman you are going to get!
There is probably some sort of correlation between how hot they are and how high their self esteem is, or isn't.. and I'm sure someone will find a chart or graph... lol
But again Chris - I think you've been watching too many high school romantic comedies.
Invite me over? We can watch Pitch Perfect and you can fall asleep on me. I will take advantage of you and show the OP how it's done.
:laugh:0 -
I've found a VAST gap in how women in the real world act and how women here on MFP say they act. I think MFP just attracts better people overall.
But it is hard to argue that it would be a problem in this scenario, as we are talking about someone who is obviously not confident. A large cap in looks requires that confidence to bridge it.
Edit: I am no longer that guy. Maybe I was just being humble. Maybe I am banging two models as I type this.0 -
Or maybe you're just meeting the wrong types of women!
Yeah totally agree on the second point - confidence is far more important. That can seriously turn me on even if the guy isn't attractive!0 -
I may well decide to make a move....
No you won't.
But despite, that, I was wondering about this for some reason last night. I was thinking you might be able to start talking about some cool event coming up - like a theater performance or something - and slip in something like "Hey, we should go together. Like a date." It's light-years better than "I have to tell you I am secretly in love with you" and might even give some wiggle room for her to say something along the lines of "A date? Haha, that would be funny" without things getting horribly awkward and ending the friendship. Whatever she says, it isn't a marriage proposal and you would be able to gauge the situation based on her reaction. Worst case, you could always back peddle like it was a joke (pu[url]ssy move, but whatever). It's not the most direct approach and could leave some room for ambiguity, but it is better than what you are doing now.
Girls, am I getting warm here?
Edit: Oh. No one else has asked this yet. How hot is she? It's relevant, whether or not it should be. (*takes cover*)
[/url]
****ing bingo.
This is your best bet OP. If you want to be "conservative" with your approach.
Just to reiterate, do not have a "talk about your feelings" with her if you want a remote chance. However this is the best idea on the topic. Execute and keep us updated.0 -
I may well decide to make a move....
No you won't.
But despite, that, I was wondering about this for some reason last night. I was thinking you might be able to start talking about some cool event coming up - like a theater performance or something - and slip in something like "Hey, we should go together. Like a date." It's light-years better than "I have to tell you I am secretly in love with you" and might even give some wiggle room for her to say something along the lines of "A date? Haha, that would be funny" without things getting horribly awkward and ending the friendship. Whatever she says, it isn't a marriage proposal and you would be able to gauge the situation based on her reaction. Worst case, you could always back peddle like it was a joke (pu[url]ssy move, but whatever). It's not the most direct approach and could leave some room for ambiguity, but it is better than what you are doing now.
Girls, am I getting warm here?
Edit: Oh. No one else has asked this yet. How hot is she? It's relevant, whether or not it should be. (*takes cover*)
[/url]
****ing bingo.
This is your best bet OP. If you want to be "conservative" with your approach.
Just to reiterate, do not have a "talk about your feelings" with her if you want a remote chance. However this is the best idea on the topic. Execute and keep us updated.
Gotta agree with the guys on this please do NOT have the ackward " I'm in love with you talk" its embarasing, corny and only works in movies0 -
Edit: I am no longer that guy. Maybe I was just being humble. Maybe I am banging two models as I type this.
So..you're saying you don't want to come over and watch high school musicals with me? Way to break my heart, man.0 -
So just do it, there's no point of you both sitting around wondering if the other person is into you, just communicate. "Hey, remember when you fell asleep in my arms in the cab the other night? I'm not sure if it meant anything but I liked it. Any chance you want to catch a movie this weekend and hold hands?" Or something like that.
Love this!0 -
Edit: I am no longer that guy. Maybe I was just being humble. Maybe I am banging two models as I type this.
So..you're saying you don't want to come over and watch high school musicals with me? Way to break my heart, man.
Can't we just skip the movies and get right to it? 0 -
Maybe I was just being humble. Maybe I am banging two models as I type this.
I really hope you're banging two models as you type... god knows someone has to!0 -
Can't we just skip the movies and get right to it?
Shhh.. I have my good girl image to protect. 0 -
Can't we just skip the movies and get right to it?
Shhh.. I have my good girl image to protect.
I don't. Let's do this. :laugh:0 -
OK, so what happened?0
-
OK, so what happened?
^^This.0 -
OK, so what happened?
^^This.
Yes, we all want to know!!!0 -
OK, so what happened?
^^This.
Yes, we all want to know!!!
I have a prediction!0 -
OK, so what happened?
^^This.
Yes, we all want to know!!!
I have a prediction!
I'd be willing to bet you...0 -
I have a prediction!
Haha, yeah, but I'm rooting for him anyway.0 -
Well technically i did say i wasn't going to post on this thread again.
But seeing as people are speculating.... we went to cinema last night so partially followed peoples advice. Still unsure if i'm missing signals, which incidentally found out this week is common for people who are dyspraxic like me, although thats partially an excuse!
So anyway am going to text her in a minute and ask her out for dinner, so am following the advice given, just maybe slower than most people would go about it!0 -
Well technically i did say i wasn't going to post on this thread again.
But seeing as people are speculating.... we went to cinema last night so partially followed peoples advice. Still unsure if i'm missing signals, which incidentally found out this week is common for people who are dyspraxic like me, although thats partially an excuse!
So anyway am going to text her in a minute and ask her out for dinner, so am following the advice given, just maybe slower than most people would go about it!
Congrats! Wish I had your balls. I hope it goes well!0 -
Well technically i did say i wasn't going to post on this thread again.
But seeing as people are speculating.... we went to cinema last night so partially followed peoples advice. Still unsure if i'm missing signals, which incidentally found out this week is common for people who are dyspraxic like me, although thats partially an excuse!
So anyway am going to text her in a minute and ask her out for dinner, so am following the advice given, just maybe slower than most people would go about it!
Wish I had your balls.
Ummmm......
Sorry, dirty thoughts! :blushing:
ETA: good luck op!0 -
Well technically i did say i wasn't going to post on this thread again.
But seeing as people are speculating.... we went to cinema last night so partially followed peoples advice. Still unsure if i'm missing signals, which incidentally found out this week is common for people who are dyspraxic like me, although thats partially an excuse!
So anyway am going to text her in a minute and ask her out for dinner, so am following the advice given, just maybe slower than most people would go about it!
Will have to google 'dyspraxic'?? :huh:
Please dont feel bullied by people on here. Remember that most advice is much easier SAID than DONE!! I bet half the people on here, myself included, would be nervous about it. So, carry on in your own time Ross, only you can read the vibes and act when you feel confident. Alcohol helps!!! :bigsmile:0 -
Well technically i did say i wasn't going to post on this thread again.
But seeing as people are speculating.... we went to cinema last night so partially followed peoples advice. Still unsure if i'm missing signals, which incidentally found out this week is common for people who are dyspraxic like me, although thats partially an excuse!
So anyway am going to text her in a minute and ask her out for dinner, so am following the advice given, just maybe slower than most people would go about it!
Will have to google 'dyspraxic'?? :huh:
Please dont feel bullied by people on here. Remember that most advice is much easier SAID than DONE!! I bet half the people on here, myself included, would be nervous about it. So, carry on in your own time Ross, only you can read the vibes and act when you feel confident. Alcohol helps!!! :bigsmile:
Big ditto on this.
And, good luck, and keep us posted.
0 -
Please dont feel bullied by people on here. Remember that most advice is much easier SAID than DONE!! I bet half the people on here, myself included, would be nervous about it. So, carry on in your own time Ross, only you can read the vibes and act when you feel confident. Alcohol helps!!! :bigsmile:
Well said! It is super easy to be condescending and snide and offer up advice like it is the most obvious thing in the world. And fun, too. That aside, though, I hope it works out for you dude, and glad to hear you are making progress.
When you go to pay for the movie ticket, accidentally drop a Trojan Magnum out of your wallet. That should do the trick. 0 -
I have to say one thing here, having been the woman in this situation before. I don't mean this offensively, but guys like you (OP) generally have a hard time concealing their intentions. No matter how clueless you think she is, I can pretty much guarantee she has picked up on the fact that you have considered being more than friends with her. My thinking is if she didn't want to be more than friends, she'd be pulling back on spending time with you because it's awkward to hang out with a friend who is not-so-secretly hoping to be more than a friend.
But there is no clearer signal of non-interest than NOT asking a woman out when you've had all the opportunity in the world in which to do so. So the longer you wait, the more she's going to start to think either you've lost interest or that you're just missing the all-important set of testicles required to ask a woman on a date. So if you are not going to ask her out (on a real date, not just another "hang out"). then decide that right now and start pursuing other women. I speak from personal experience when I say that it really, really sucks to be waiting for a guy to ask you out and then he just never does ... he hints around about it, he flirts with you, you're the only woman he ever spends any one-on-one time with, but he cannot bring himself to tell you he likes you and wants to be more than friends ... it is the worst, so stop doing that to her if you're not going to man up and follow through.0 -
Well its done. Have asked. No response as yet, but probably a mistake!
And jq2122 things aren't always quite that simple. As ive said before my friendship has no conditions on there being anything else, its not the sole reason I hang out with her.0 -
Well its done. Have asked. No response as yet, but probably a mistake!
Aww.. great for you! You seem like a lovely guy and a good friend. I hope she appreciates you. :flowerforyou:0 -
Well its done. Have asked. No response as yet, but probably a mistake!
And jq2122 things aren't always quite that simple. As ive said before my friendship has no conditions on there being anything else, its not the sole reason I hang out with her.
Aw, think positive. :flowerforyou: You put it out there, now you can know one way or the other.0 -
Well its done. Have asked. No response as yet, but probably a mistake!
Good for you!
Also I know you are saying you wouldn't comment here because of my old post but the main point of that post was getting fustrated with people that ask for advice but come up with every reason not do go with the advice given. Now you have taken more steps and gotten passed the hymhawing stage which is a great progress and that post is moot.0
