I was actually a litte miffed at BB when he came to visit me because I paid for some of our meals. Of course, we'd been dating for 6 months by then. I suppose it didn't kill me to cover him at Chipotle, especially since he bought the ticket to visit me and took me to places like Emeril's. Lol.

I have no issue always paying as long as you ladies agree I should continue to make 15% higher salary for the same job.

Not sure if you were serious on this one, but every time this topic comes up I honestly think this. The girl I'm with now is a part-time art teacher, so I gladly pay for everything as she simply can't afford to. However if I was dating someone that made equal or more than me... hell even an adequate income, after the first few dates there better be a few offers to pay!!

Ladies if you make equal to a guy you have been dating for awhile, what would be the justification for you not to contribute?? Looking for more than I have boobs here.

I was actually a litte miffed at BB when he came to visit me because I paid for some of our meals. Of course, we'd been dating for 6 months by then. I suppose it didn't kill me to cover him at Chipotle, especially since he bought the ticket to visit me and took me to places like Emeril's. Lol.

I have no issue always paying as long as you ladies agree I should continue to make 15% higher salary for the same job.

Not sure if you were serious on this one, but every time this topic comes up I honestly think this. The girl I'm with now is a part-time art teacher, so I gladly pay for everything as she simply can't afford to. However if I was dating someone that made equal or more than me... hell even an adequate income, after the first few dates there better be a few offers to pay!!

Ladies if you make equal to a guy you have been dating for awhile, what would be the justification for you not to contribute?? Looking for more than I have boobs here.

I have no issue always paying as long as you ladies agree I should continue to make 15% higher salary for the same job.

Not sure if you were serious on this one, but every time this topic comes up I honestly think this. The girl I'm with now is a part-time art teacher, so I gladly pay for everything as she simply can't afford to. However if I was dating someone that made equal or more than me... hell even an adequate income, after the first few dates there better be a few offers to pay!!

Ladies if you make equal to a guy you have been dating for awhile, what would be the justification for you not to contribute?? Looking for more than I have boobs here.

I was actually a little miffed at BB when he came to visit me because I paid for some of our meals. Of course, we'd been dating for 6 months by then. I suppose it didn't kill me to cover him at Chipotle, especially since he bought the ticket to visit me and took me to places like Emeril's. Lol.

You were seriously upset about this? I guess that's the type of thing I wouldn't think twice about if someone I was serious about had to visit me.

Um, yeah, I was. For one, I was embarrassed. Two, He knew I’d maxed out my budget on all our event and amusement park tickets food for around the house. I am very firm about zero balance living. It’s not about “who pays” but rather the fact that he ran out of money for the month going to extravagant places when we could have eaten out cheaper. We had a long, interesting chat about this afterward and ultimately I think it drew us closer.

In my opinion this adds a lot more info. Before it sounded like you were genuinely upset about having to pay for a burrito, and that you shouldn't have to spend anything - you didn't mention the other stuff which really makes a difference between someone entitled and someone trying to be financially responsible.

i find it funny when this subject comes up, it's usually women who are super militant about paying in the early stages and will say things like being embarrased by the actions of other women.

all i can say to that is some of those women are clearly projecting their own issues onto others. if another women expects to have her first dates paid for (and is able to get that ) then how exactly does that have an impact on your life unless there's some amount of sour grapes going on.

i think what a lot of women who call themselves feminists but actually have no clue about it fail to realize is that the feminist movement is more about giving women the power of choice of how to live their lives rather than having to negate their femininity.

i find it funny when this subject comes up, it's usually women who are super militant about paying in the early stages and will say things like being embarrased by the actions of other women.

all i can say to that is some of those women are clearly projecting their own issues onto others. if another women expects to have her first dates paid for (and is able to get that ) then how exactly does that have an impact on your life unless there's some amount of sour grapes going on.

i think what a lot of women who call themselves feminists but actually have no clue about it fail to realize is that the feminist movement is more about giving women the power of choice of how to live their lives rather than having to negate their femininity.

What are you talking about?

i find it funny when this subject comes up, it's usually women who are super militant about paying in the early stages and will say things like being embarrased by the actions of other women.

all i can say to that is some of those women are clearly projecting their own issues onto others. if another women expects to have her first dates paid for (and is able to get that ) then how exactly does that have an impact on your life unless there's some amount of sour grapes going on.

i think what a lot of women who call themselves feminists but actually have no clue about it fail to realize is that the feminist movement is more about giving women the power of choice of how to live their lives rather than having to negate their femininity.

What are you talking about?

Ahh yeah did you even read any of the responses? If so please quote where women are being militant about paying.

Not sure but i assume this response is aimed at me because i said i dont like when people "expect" to be treated. But that really goes for both genders & is not a feminist statement at all. I just think expexting anything of anyone on the first few dates is a goid way to lead to disappointment.

I thought you have said in past that you make a really good salary.

What difference does that make?

all i can say to that is some of those women are clearly projecting their own issues onto others. if another women expects to have her first dates paid for (and is able to get that ) then how exactly does that have an impact on your life unless there's some amount of sour grapes going on.

What are you talking about?

I interpret this to mean: why are you so harsh on women who expect dates paid for? If you have another, better, way, then what's it to you? Live and let live. Or are you just bitter because it works for someone and not you. Some of the women here have said their way works for them. Great. My way has been working for me.

I'll let you gals in on a secret: Back in college (and, admittedly, the first couple months I became single again). I was the kind of woman who refused to let a man do anything for me. If he offered to open my door, I'd say, "Tha'ts ok, I've got it." If he offered to pay my way somewhere or help me with my bag, I'd insist I didn't need his help. That's the way I was raised: You don't need a man. When I moved to the south, I bought a bunch of books about "southern females" and one them was "What Southern Women Know About Flirting." It totally opened my eyes about how today's (especially "northern") women refuse to let a man do little things for them and how they cut down his male ego a tiny little bit by being so harsh. These women don't think they're being harsh, but that's how it feels to many men. The author called this "being receptive" and said (along with learning to smile at men you see), learning to be comfortable with "receiving" gifts, service, protection, and such from a man will open up a world of opportunity.

I wasn't aware I was being harsh on women that are expecting their dates to be paid for.

Why do you think that poster was talking about you?

I took it as she was talking about how, in general, someone will bring up this topic and I'll say (or someone else will) that I expect guys to pay and then sometimes it seems like the women are more harsh than the men in insisting I'm wrong.

I think we should all take such things with a slice of "to each his own." Or, as my boss used to say, "It takes all kinds to make a world."

ITT: Women making excuses to cling to gender roles.

And, to Florian's point: Yes! I am both high-maintenance AND traditional at home. I own it. The funny thing is, as much as I hear the men on this forum complain about women like me, MORE guys like me since I stopped being so bland and feminist and became more girly and high-maintenance. If what I was doing didn't work, I'd change. But I'm firmly of the opinion "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."