Since I am not "actively" trying to lose weight in this cycle, I have been doing some thinking around my own maintenance. I have been looking at my own "all-or-nothing" tendencies, and perfectionism, and seeing that I still have some challenges around moderation. I am reading a good book called "Love food, live well", which is a little religio-centric for me, but talks some good game around the idea that some of us eat treat foods as though it's the last time we will ever get them, and don't stop to consider whether we really even want that food right now, or how it makes us feel. Like for instance, today I am allowing myself to buy whatever I want for lunch from the cafe downstairs, and the old me would have done muffins, cookies, something deep fried, but today I am realizing those things would actually make me feel kind of internally yucky, and some would be too sweet, and do I really even want them? We'll see if the devil or the angel wins out throughout the day. I need to release my tendency to binge, it doesn't serve me anymore.

All that considered, I also did some thinking around whether I am tied to an arbitrary scale number, and whether I could be happy at this weight I currently hold quite comfortably (140-141). But in reality, no I don't feel 100% done yet. I still have a roll that hangs over my pants when I sit. I feel expecially poofy now that this pound or so of carb-weight is back on my body, I was getting so "cut" when my carbs were lower and I loved the feeling. So no, I am not done, and therefore I am looking forward to going back to cycle 1 after this cycle. I can't, I just can't, stop right now, 5 lbs away from my goal.

Currently maintaining at 1500-1600 calories, with minimal working out.

CYCLE 1 (part II)...CYCLE 2

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
C2/C1 menu, under 125g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals net MFP goal.


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8
C1 Ending Weight: 140.8
C1B Starting Weight: 140.8
C1B Goal Weight: 138


1-04/06 -140.2 :-)
2-04/07-142 - water weight from my little carb fest, that`s totally fine. MY WILL IS STEEL!!!!
3-04/08 -142 - see above, prepare to see this number DROP asap!
4-04/09-142- I BELIEVE!!!!!!
5-04/10 -140.2 eye of the tiger, baby!
6-04/11-141.2
7-04/12- 140.6 I am accountable only to myself!
8-04/13- 141.6 time to finish what I started.
9-04/14-140.0 !!!!! All time low!
10-04/15-140.0
11-04/16-142 - but those are 2 lbs of brain cells :ohwell:
12-04/17-141.4
13-04/18-141.0 Goood scale...sit.....stay......good boy!
14-04/19-141.6 dadadada...feelin' poofy.
15-04/20 - Party! Starting C3 early to let myself live (aka drink) a little :drinker:
16-04/21
17-04/22
[/quote]
[/quote]
[/quote]

Thanks Gina! It has made all the difference having you here with me!!!! Thanks for what you do for your country, if I haven't said it, I'm glad there are brave folks like you on this earth!


CYCLE 1 (part II)...CYCLE 2

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
C2/C1 menu, under 125g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals net MFP goal.


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 137

Hmmmm this was an interesting cycle, not a weight loss cycle but a really important one nonetheless. I learned a lot about myself in 17 days. About what my life will be like once I reach goal, and overall the picture of myself I hold in my mind for the future, like where am I really going from here? Here are some other things I learned:

1. There are lots of different opinions about the best eating, the best workout, etc. I need to be true to what I know works for me, and stick to my own path
2. This is not a competition, and I need to stay away from people who treat it like one. I want to avoid negativity, be around supportive people, and help others do their best
3. I need to do exercise I enjoy and that feeds my soul. I need to honor how I feel at a certain point in time. This feeds back into the competition thing. I am accountable only to myself
4. I will never ever ever be able to just eat what I want, whenever I want. I will always need to be on the "Steph plan" which means eating the foods I know make me feel best and work best for my body, with a few cheats and treats when they are really worth it. For the rest of my life.
5. When I eat to soothe myself or make myself feel better, guaranteed afterwards I feel like crap both mentally and physically. Food just doesn't work like that anymore
6. There are times to go hard and there are times to back off. Backing off doesn't mean giving up. It means taking a break, restin and recharging. I can't drive myself into the ground and expect to feel good.
7. My goal needs to be realistic. If I try to look like a 25 year old fitness model, I will make myself miserable. The happiness and health will come when I reach my goal weight (135) and the reside in that body with grace, glowing with health, that is where beauty comes from.

Ok so that's what I got out of Cycle 2! I feel energized, and I just have to keep going towards my goal. It's possible, it's reasonable, it's within reach!

Yes We Can!!!

Up a few pounds today, I took a weekend "off" from counting and weighing. It's still amazing to me, how after all this time losing weight and eating cautiously, if I just let go and try "intuitive eating" you know just eating until I am full and what feels good and healthy, I will still overeat. Like yesterday I ate good stuff like kashi crackers, carrots and hummus, ezekiel bread with natural peanut butter, protein shake with almond milk, yogurt and mesuli and nuts. Good healthy stuff, plus a few treats, but I ate probably double the portion size I should have. I can see clearly that maintenance is gong to be its own challenge, and I am really going to have to go on counting things for awhile, because I really like the "safety" in it. It's so easy to go off the rails.

Trying to work on incorporating more veggies. I have been reading some vegan books lately, which is not a lifestyle I plan to adopt because I really don't like the macro ratios (love and need my protein!!!) and I also love dairy. But what those books tend to offer is the promise of glowing vitality, which as we know I am seeking....so I started this morning with a green smoothie instead of my usual coffee smoothie. Had to choke it down, I don't like it when I have to "chew" my smoothie. But it wasn't that bad, and I must admit I feel really good, more awake than I usually do in the morning, so I think I will keep that one. Trying to double veggies. Already missing beans as I am back on C1 for awhile, at least until the party weight comes off!

CYCLE 1 (2nd time)

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
C1 menu, under 125g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 137

Day
1-04/22-143.4
2-04/23
3-04/24
4-04/25
5-04/26
6-04/27
7-04/28
8-04/29
9-04/30
10-05/1
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5
15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8

Up a little today, stupid fruit tart I ate. It was worth it though lol! I am not counting todays weight, it's just water!

So here's the deal...I have 5.8 lbs to go. If I start today it's 5 weeks until the end of May. So all I have to do is lose 1 bleeping pound a week. So I am extending my 17 days. No more farting around.

(Please forgive me if there are any 17DD purists lurking out there, lol, I have adapted this diet to suit my needs)

CYCLE 1 (2nd time)

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
C1 menu, under 75g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

1-04/22-143.4
2-04/23-142.6
3-04/24-141.0
4-04/25-140.8 Yes, that's right, back to 140! Let's see some 139 before the end of April!
5-04/26- 141.4 stupid fruit tart
6-04/27
7-04/28 goal 140

8-04/29
9-04/30
10-05/1
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135

One of those frustrating mornings because the scale flickered on 139 and then settled on 140.0.
Switching to lower carb (net 20-30g) to get over this hump. I am so carb sensitive.
Also toying with the idea of quitting dairy for a few weeks as a cleanse. I don't feel like I digest it poorly, but I had such good results from quitting bread, I owe it to myself to at least check the possibility that dairy doesn't like me. Problem is I loooove dairy, I live on it, so I think I'd still eat cheese even if it gave me hives!!!!! For now the low carb is enough to think about.

CYCLE 1 (2nd time)

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
C1 menu, under 75g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

1-04/22-143.4
2-04/23-142.6
3-04/24-141.0
4-04/25-140.8 Yes, that's right, back to 140! Let's see some 139 before the end of April!
5-04/26- 141.4 stupid fruit tart
6-04/27-140.0
7-04/28 goal 140

8-04/29
9-04/30
10-05/1
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135
[/quote]

Since I just break all the rules, this last 17 has become an Atkins induction. I consider Atkins extreme, but I have been trying to get these last few off for years, so extreme is necessary. I am doing Atkins "clean" though, not bacon and cheese, no artificial sweeteners, no weird processed sauces.

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
Induction menu, under 20g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

Week 1
start 04/22-143.4
End- 7-04/28 goal 140- 139.2 weekly goal reached!

8-04/29
9-04/30
10-05/1
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135
[/quote]
[/quote]
[/quote]

Down to 138.6 this morning. That hasn't even really registered with me mentally, I feel like I just was adjusting to 139!

One thing this way of eating is teaching me, is how "unclean" some of the sauces and dressings I was using are. Like I can't eat tonight's dinner pf pulled pork and coleslaw, even though we use lowfat sauces, they are full of sugars and chemicals. I need to start researching some clean versions, maybe make them into icecubes are something so I can use them over time, since they will have no preservatives.

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
Induction menu, under 20g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

Week 1
start 04/22-143.4
End- 7-04/28 goal 140- 139.2 weekly goal reached!

8-04/29- 139.0
9-04/30-138.6 :noway: :bigsmile:
10-05/1
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135
[/quote]

Down another pound! I hit my goal measurements this morning. Like my GOAL measurements!!! That I have had for years! My waist is 29.75 inches! 137.4 pounds. You know when people say the weight is just " falling off"?
Still consider myself a 17dd person rather than an atkins person though. I just needed to do the extreme to get these last five off.


My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
Induction menu, under 20g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

Week 1
start 04/22-143.4
End- 7-04/28 goal 140- 139.2 weekly goal reached!

8-04/29- 139.0
9-04/30-138.6 :noway: :bigsmile:
10-05/1-137.4 - I know! I know!!!!!
11-05/2
12-05/3
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135

UP this morning by two pounds to 138.6. Feeling poofy, ate a fair amount of cheese and salt yesterday. Also felt really nauseated so I drank baking soda and water. We all know this is a game of water weight at this point (game of thrones? Lol) and truthfully 138 feels more accurate in terms of how my body looks, so this is more my true weight. That's okay lots of time.
Still, I was only 1 lb away?!! Grrrrr......it's the 142 situation all over again.

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
Induction menu, under 20g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

Week 1
start 04/22-143.4
End- 7-04/28 goal 140- 139.2 weekly goal reached!

8-04/29- 139.0
9-04/30-138.6 :noway: :bigsmile:
10-05/1-137.4 - I know! I know!!!!!
11-05/2-136.4 and full of energy :flowerforyou:
12-05/3- 138.6 Grrrrr.....
13-05/4
14-05/5 goal 139

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135
[/quote]
[/quote]

Whew! I was too busy to log in yesterday either! Still toying around although my eating has been great. 2 lbs to go!!!!
It was 20 degrees yesterday so I spent all day in the yard, doing the same today!

My rules for myself are as follows:
30-60 minutes exercise per day
Induction menu, under 20g net carbs, over 100g protein, 1350 cals gross MFP goal. (gonna stop logging exercise for awhile)


Highest weight: 215 pregnant
C1 Starting Weight: 145.8-140.8=5 lbs lost
C2? Start 140.8-142.6=1.8 lbs gained
C1B Starting Weight: 142.6
C1B Goal Weight: 135!!!!!

MY LAST 40 DAYS: (splitting into my summer challenge WI weeks)

Week 1
start 04/22-143.4
End- 7-04/28 goal 140- 139.2 weekly goal reached!

8-04/29- 139.0
9-04/30-138.6 :noway: :bigsmile:
10-05/1-137.4 - I know! I know!!!!!
11-05/2-136.4 and full of energy :flowerforyou:
12-05/3- 138.6 Grrrrr.....
13-05/4- 137.0
14-05/5 goal 139- 137.8 weekly goal surpassed!

15-05/6
16-05/7
17-05/8
18-05/9
19-05/10
20-05/11
21-05/12 goal 138

22-05/13
23-05/14
24-05/15
25-05/16
26-05/17
27-05/18
28-05/19 goal 137

29-05/20
30-05/21
31-05/22
32-05/23
33-05/24
34-05/25
35-05/26 goal 136

36-05/27
37-05/28
38-05/29
39-05/30
40-05/31 goal 135
[/quote]
[/quote]
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