Did you catch the winky face? That made it have a sexual connotation.

And this is why I don't get many 'first dates'! :P

I think my only rule is to trust my instinct... and don't suggest a date that your prospect has indicated they're not interested in.

Case in point:

Someone wanted to take me on a first date, and the suggestion was that we go to a bar, and watch wrestling in the lounge. I am soooo not a fan of wrestling. I love MMA, and boxing, but wrestling makes me queasy - the overacting gets me.

So ok.. I figure I'll be open and say yes... and we get to the bar and it's a $10 cover... and he says, you're gonna have to pay for yours, payday isn't til next week. Oh, and can you buy me a beer?

I guess if it was me I would've said "I'm not really into wrestling but maybe after the match I could meet up with you then?" There is no way in hell I could sit through some boring sport I have noooo interest in.

But yeah 10 dollar cover and he won't even pay? Hell no! And then you buy drinks? Terrible!

So you wouldn't be willing to try to share in a potential partner's interests? Hmm.

To a certain extent, definitely. But she already knows she doesn't like wrestling. If she had never seen it before it would be different. But think about it this way...what if a girl said "let's watch the all day marathon of Millionaire Matchmaker and paint our nails." What if that is my interest? Somewhere there has to be a place where a couple can say "you know, I don't really like wrestling/seeing chick flicks/getting a manicure/going to a football game so maybe you could go alone/with your friends/family and then we could meet up after??"

There are many gender neutral activities that people can do together.

Honestly, as much as I knew that wrestling makes me want to gag, I could appreciate his interest in it and his desire to see it. Apparently it was a big (rigged) match. So I can choke that down. But it would have been nice to know he expected me to pay! Lol

Next time in carry cash. I made the mistake of not having enough and then I had to use a teller to get cash out.. Hello $3 bank fee! Lol

*takes notes*

There are many gender neutral activities that people can do together.

:huh:

Like...
- bars and restaurants
- museums
- parks/lakes/beaches
- recreational activities (playing a round of pick up basketball, etc.)
- movies
- taking a class together

I would be massively annoyed if all a guy wanted to do was take me out to watch a basketball game on a big screen at BWW, same way most men would be annoyed if their girlfriend wanted to take them to get makeovers.

I was raising my eyebrow at the implications of a gender divide between hobbies that are considered acceptable or unacceptable based on genatalia.

OK -- I haven't read all 7 pages...but just wanted to chime in.

When I was in my 20s I had "rules". Now that I'm in my 40's -- no rules apply!

I've kissed on the first date. I've had sex on the first date. I've paid. I've let him pay. I do what Kits-the-wise said.. I go with the flow. Did the sex-guy work out? Yeah, for a bit.... it didn't ruin anything. The chemistry was insane and I'd do it again.

Don't be afraid to LIVE people!!

Kits-the-wise... I can get used to this :]

I was raising my eyebrow at the implications of a gender divide between hobbies that are considered acceptable or unacceptable based on genatalia.

They're not unacceptable/acceptable. I just think that if a man asks a woman to do something traditionally masculine on a date, he may get a "hell no" back, the same way if I asked my boyfriend to come and get a pedicure with me he would look like I was crazy.

You shouldn't ask your date to do a particular strongly associated with one gender type of activity until you know what they like, you should pick something neutral, like just grabbing a drink instead of watching wrestling. There are soooo many other activities to do that both people will like, not just one half of the couple. That is what I was more getting at, rather than assigning activities to genders.

I hate most sports (with the exception of hockey and I'll go to a baseball game if I get free tickets), I absolutely hate video games and think they're a massive waste of time and energy and boobs, well...

But until a guy knows me, he should play it safe on dates.

I'd totally go get a pedicure on a first date if asked.

You have to get red polish though, kay? Or maybe pink polish with some painted on decorative flowers on the big toe?

I was raising my eyebrow at the implications of a gender divide between hobbies that are considered acceptable or unacceptable based on genatalia.

They're not unacceptable/acceptable. I just think that if a man asks a woman to do something traditionally masculine on a date, he may get a "hell no" back, the same way if I asked my boyfriend to come and get a pedicure with me he would look like I was crazy.

You shouldn't ask your date to do a particular strongly associated with one gender type of activity until you know what they like, you should pick something neutral, like just grabbing a drink instead of watching wrestling. There are soooo many other activities to do that both people will like, not just one half of the couple. That is what I was more getting at, rather than assigning activities to genders.

I hate most sports (with the exception of hockey and I'll go to a baseball game if I get free tickets), I absolutely hate video games and think they're a massive waste of time and energy and boobs, well...

But until a guy knows me, he should play it safe on dates.

Unless he's looking for a girl that's into those same things I guess There are plenty of those around. But I see where you're coming from. I just don't think he's wrong inviting a girl to an event like that, I see it as a different tactic.

Ummmm....I like baseball, football, hockey and basketball. My ideal first date is a sporting event. So.... yeah.

If I was really into a guy and he wanted to watch wrestling or MMA, I'd do it because it's time together. In this situation, I'd probably go along with the date and see if it got better. You're already there after all. If it doesn't go well, you're in a bar with a bunch of men....never a bad thing.

My sexuality isn't.threatened by pretty toes.

It's not even six AM and I have found my quote for the day.

:drinker:

There are many gender neutral activities that people can do together.

:huh:

Like...
- bars and restaurants
- museums
- parks/lakes/beaches
- recreational activities (playing a round of pick up basketball, etc.)
- movies
- taking a class together

I would be massively annoyed if all a guy wanted to do was take me out to watch a basketball game on a big screen at BWW, same way most men would be annoyed if their girlfriend wanted to take them to get makeovers.

Ok never compare basketball and makeovers again please hun...... BTW going to watch a basketball game with some beer and chicken wings is an awesome date..... Especially cause our team down here rocks (go Heat!!!)

And gender nuetral is a strange term to use for dating

Don't forget her name.

Best advice so far.

Ummmm....I like baseball, football, hockey and basketball. My ideal first date is a sporting event. So.... yeah.

If I was really into a guy and he wanted to watch wrestling or MMA, I'd do it because it's time together. In this situation, I'd probably go along with the date and see if it got better. You're already there after all. If it doesn't go well, you're in a bar with a bunch of men....never a bad thing.

I also love the above mentioned also love MMA .. Many a date of mine have been at a sports bar playing pool... If a guy wanted to watch a chick flick with me I might throw up (I hate chick flicks) ..
Things are not gender specific and thoose of us who are more open to doing different things on a date get more dates.. I'm just saying...

I'm not sure how being open to more date ideas gets you more dates...could you be more specific? Do you mean that being more open in general means you meet more people and get more dates?

Okay but playing Devils advocate...what if the idea of watching basketball was considered torture to you? Is there really anything wrong with saying "you know I really don't like basketball (or whatever). Is there anyway we could meet up before or after the game or meet up a different day?"

that's fine but it isn't cause of your gender, it's cause of preference.

I'm not sure how being open to more date ideas gets you more dates...could you be more specific? Do you mean that being more open in general means you meet more people and get more dates?

if you are open to doing outdoor sports and activities, group activities, classes, daytime activities, out of town events, visiting or attending exhibits and shows, going to last minute concerts, trying new things youve never done before, getting uncomfortable and dirty and sweaty and any kinds of other non-traditional dates - you will end up going on more dates that someone who only prefers to go on dates on Friday night to dinner and a movie, or in a little black dress, or only meet at a bar or restaurant.

You have less dates because you are willing to do less things on dates.

^^^^ All of the above.

Okay but playing Devils advocate...what if the idea of watching basketball was considered torture to you? Is there really anything wrong with saying "you know I really don't like basketball (or whatever). Is there anyway we could meet up before or after the game or meet up a different day?"

that's fine but it isn't cause of your gender, it's cause of preference.

I'm not sure how being open to more date ideas gets you more dates...could you be more specific? Do you mean that being more open in general means you meet more people and get more dates?

if you are open to doing outdoor sports and activities, group activities, classes, daytime activities, out of town events, visiting or attending exhibits and shows, going to last minute concerts, trying new things youve never done before, getting uncomfortable and dirty and sweaty and any kinds of other non-traditional dates - you will end up going on more dates that someone who only prefers to go on dates on Friday night to dinner and a movie, or in a little black dress, or only meet at a bar or restaurant.

You have less dates because you are willing to do less things on dates.

I'm open to most of that and I don't get dates. I wouldn't care if a date was at 11 am on a Thursday or Friday night at 9 or where it was. At least for me I don't care to watch sports or go to a guys house but I am willing to do everything else you described. I buy the argument that if you do those things in everyday life you'll meet more people but I don't think being open in that way gets you more dates.

Yes hun and don't think I'm picking on you, but you have a very fixed idea of what is acceptable and what isnt ..... If you were a little more open and relaxed I think your dating life would be more... More fun, more dates, more guys to choose from...

I know your young and like I said I'm not picking on you . I really wanna help you.


Let me put it this way. I got called for a first date last night..a last minute date. We went to a sports bar. I had more then 3 drinks. I payed for my own drinks. and we made out several times. I broke about half the "rules" alot of girls on here follow. I had a blast. I dont regret it and we already have plans for a second date lol....
By limiting yourself with rules and "I won't go there or watch that" you limit experience and potential suitors