It has been hard this time round. I am trying not to get overly hopeful. I have soo much to lose. My NSV was Friday I put on a pair of just washed and dryer dried jeans and they about fell off. I knew I was losing but I didn't KNOW I was losing.

Spacecurly - You're right the mindwork is funny. I expect I will experience something similar in the future just because I have done this dance before and stalled before making real progress. I am glad that you shared. I will remember you when I have mine and know I wasn't alone in panicking.

Karendee4 - I know this sounds kinda off the wall but have you tried mediation or even prayer? They both activate the same centers of the brain. I have serious daily chronic pain (I have a neuropathic migraine all the time. My brain doesn't know how to shut off the pain centers anymore, short version). I actually have been using the mediation so I can get to sleep but the short focus can relax and help de-stress yourself. It can also allow you to step back from a situation, even if it is just a couple of deep breaths. Just enough to make a choice rather than reacting.

I have alot of negative self-talk too so I keep a gratitude journal. Sometimes it is the small things, I got the dishes done. (and that maybe the only thing I get done that day.) Sometimes it is big things. When I have a down day, I read back through the journal. It helps remind me I can do things even if it wasn't what I used to be able to do.

You are doing some of the other things our pain group does to cope. You are getting out and doing things you enjoy and working out. These are BIG DEALS. most people do the woo-is-me and want someone else to fix it and don't do anything. You aren't doing that. You are taking control back even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Give yourself credit for that. ( and I know it is hard to do.)

Beth: Yes I know, it is really great here, because we all struggle! The few friends that I have don't want to loose weight or do not need it! So it is great to have a place where everyonehas the same goal!

Kinda hard to think what I will do, when this challenge is over!

A doctor recommended meditation. I am going to give it a try.

I have had a few better days lately. Today I see a new doctor so I may get some more ideas too.


I am doing cabin cleaning since my MIL is coming to visit soon.

I like chatting with all of you too!!

Sweet deal on the weight loss Spacecurly! Hope you had a good visit. (Good luck on the other, just keep the practicing fun

Sorry I haven't been around much - just kinda in a holding pattern until Aug 7 rolls around. Pain levels will be high until then and I have been too tired from not sleeping to work out as much =( But I will still be checking in

I vote we keep the challenge going past summer just so we CAN chat - I love being able to talk to you guys. You keep me motivated even when I can't do much. Someday I will be back to walking a mile at a time, until then, every short walk counts.

@Karen: is there a chance your husband would support you, if you throw out the junk? It is your house after all and even more important your health!

have a great day kareen! and hold on this visit will not last forever!

I am doing better. I lost 4 pounds since yesterday so some of the gain was water weight. A friend of mine thinks my MIL is bringing crap into the house to sabotage me. She has weight problems and just went off a diet and now gained some weight. Is that possible? Maybe she does not realize it? Or maybe my friend is wrong?

it does not matter because I am in charge of my health and I can stay out of the pantry. I will not go in there with the junk...I can eat my fruit and yogurt for my snacks. :

@Karen: Is it possible that she thinks, because you wanna live healthy, that your kids somehow get short in stuff? I know it is a nicer approach of what your friend said, but it is a possibility too!
It would be sad if her intention would be to sabotage you! Is there a possibility for you o sit down and talk this out?

I wanna do a book review today too!

I choose Harry Potter by J.K.Rowling

It was the first book I ever read in english and ever since I love english books more than the translated german ones!
I know it is more of a childs book, but I love her writing style and the way she makes ordinary "human" things look like to those who are not familiar with it!!

Especially in a first book where you get tons of information, about people and circumstances, she did a good introduction to those who are important and the way she wants you to feel towards the main characters.

Here I have especially Professor Snape in mind whom everybody despise and at the end of book 7 turns out to secretly be a bit of a hero himself!!!

yesterday I literarilly went searching for chocolate, it did not matter as long as i could put it in my mouth and it was chocolate, it was okay!!!
Needless to say i went over my cals big time and felt bad and too stuffed when I fnally went to bed!
Also i was not able or better say I did not take the time to run this week. i did today and my dark mood already lifted a little! Not that it was a good run, but my mind frame improved!
Now I just hope the night will be quite to recover a bit and catch up the work I was not able to do last night!

As for a workout or app review:

I think I like Jillian michaels!
I looked into 30 day shred and did the workout here and there when there was too much ice and snow last winter!
As a form of exercise just to move it is totally okay! It is exhausting if you want it to be and I would choose it over Yoga or pilates every time again!

I have been doing awful. My back was hurting and the only exercise was my work on the farm Tuesday. Unfortunately I have eating so badly. My MIL is visiting and I have been eating like crap the last few days. I just know I have ruined all my hard work and made myself further behind.

I am sorry to let you down team. I just feel so hopeless right now.

I have been doing awful. My back was hurting and the only exercise was my work on the farm Tuesday. Unfortunately I have eating so badly. My MIL is visiting and I have been eating like crap the last few days. I just know I have ruined all my hard work and made myself further behind.

I am sorry to let you down team. I just feel so hopeless right now.

I am sorry to hear about your problems with MIL. It very well could be she is sabotaging you unconsciously. Especially if she yo-yo diets. Just hang in there, she will be gone soon and you can get back to being you again.

Speaking of letting you all down. Sorry to you all for not checking in. I haven't been able to sit in front of a monitor for the last week n half and it is driving me nuts! I missed "chatting" and I have been so bad the last week. Not by eating too much but by eating too little. I am soo worried when I get back to eating the right amount of calories, I am going to gain again before losing. I so do not want to do that.

I am not able to be on for long periods of time yet but hopefully that will change.

You are so right! She does yo yo diet and just came off one a couple months ago. I keep telling her I can't and don't want to eat junk but she offers it to me over and over. After she eats junk she will ask me if I want some. No one else in the house either. Just asks me and other people are in the room.
I need my house back and that will help a lot!!

Thanks for the nice words.

We understand if you are not on much. it happens.

Last day with a visitor in my home. Only a couple hours left. It will be back to normal soon.


I was offered a job this week. I will be a Kindergarten Teacher starting this week. YEAH. I will see how well I can use MFP and work a new job.


I also have to eat the food the kids eat. This position has a daycare too so they follow the federal/gov eating program and teachers are asked to show the kids good eating habits. I hope they cook healthy like they said they do. (last summer I worked at a daycare and they said they cooked healthy but it was full of cheese, fat and all canned fruits and veggies. YUCK)

it will be a harder job since it is a Kindergarten class in a daycare but the job is needed by our family. Maybe now I can afford even more delicious healthy food for my family? that is a good thing.


I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing the cardio challenge today. I missed a few days because I hurt my back last Sunday.

WhooHoooo! Congrats on MIL being gone. Also Congrats on the new job!