Two months have passed since that eye-opening post, and I haven't binged since
Summerfit321
Posts: 142 Member
I posted the post below two months ago (well, two months and a day). Somehow it feels like a lifetime ago, yet I still remember it so clearly. As I said above, I have not binged since, not even once.
I have been dieting, exercising, and losing weight, but nothing too extreme. Each week I have changed aspects: first simply not binge, but don't bother tracking, then track and eat maintenance, then go into a small deficit, etc...
The weight gain over such a short period of time had robbed me of my confidence and made me fear for my health more than ever before.
That night I promised myself that no matter what... I wouldn't binge again. I did not promise myself that I would eat X amount of calories a day or work out X amounts of times a day or weigh X pounds by X date... I simply promised myself to take away what had been taking my life away. I read a lot, I went to psychologists ( I am not yet sure how much this helped, but I'm still seeing them), talked to family members I once believed couldn't understand me, and examined every aspect of my life, and tried to work on improving it everyday, succeeding some days and failing on others, but never bingeing.
It wasn't easy; especially in the beginning. But I decided to accept that I had full control over what I ate, how much I ate, and that bingeing was killing me.
I feel alive again, and it's not because all my problems have gone away. Life still gets so hard, so stressful so painful, frustrating and sad at times; but the self-inflicted pain and hurt has gone. I still have a lot of weight to lose, my confidence is still low, but I feel like I can move on. This is the longest I haven't binged for over two years.
Good luck to all of us.
I've been AWOL for a while. Things got really stressfull, as they say, life got in the way... Short summery is that I've been struggling with binge eating since June, but through extreme restriction some days and overexercising on others I was able to keep the actual weight gain low. I decided this last month just to focus on no more bingeing, without restriction or overexercising, but couldn't do it.
I have gained almost 18 pounds in two months (12 kg) and I am 5 foot 2 inches. I hadn't weighed myself for a few weeks, but I was just in denial.
I feel a bit desperate. Somehow nothing seems real right now. Any advice for today and the next days? How do I deal with such a set back?
September 9, 2014 7:42AM
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I have been dieting, exercising, and losing weight, but nothing too extreme. Each week I have changed aspects: first simply not binge, but don't bother tracking, then track and eat maintenance, then go into a small deficit, etc...
The weight gain over such a short period of time had robbed me of my confidence and made me fear for my health more than ever before.
That night I promised myself that no matter what... I wouldn't binge again. I did not promise myself that I would eat X amount of calories a day or work out X amounts of times a day or weigh X pounds by X date... I simply promised myself to take away what had been taking my life away. I read a lot, I went to psychologists ( I am not yet sure how much this helped, but I'm still seeing them), talked to family members I once believed couldn't understand me, and examined every aspect of my life, and tried to work on improving it everyday, succeeding some days and failing on others, but never bingeing.
It wasn't easy; especially in the beginning. But I decided to accept that I had full control over what I ate, how much I ate, and that bingeing was killing me.
I feel alive again, and it's not because all my problems have gone away. Life still gets so hard, so stressful so painful, frustrating and sad at times; but the self-inflicted pain and hurt has gone. I still have a lot of weight to lose, my confidence is still low, but I feel like I can move on. This is the longest I haven't binged for over two years.
Good luck to all of us.
I've been AWOL for a while. Things got really stressfull, as they say, life got in the way... Short summery is that I've been struggling with binge eating since June, but through extreme restriction some days and overexercising on others I was able to keep the actual weight gain low. I decided this last month just to focus on no more bingeing, without restriction or overexercising, but couldn't do it.
I have gained almost 18 pounds in two months (12 kg) and I am 5 foot 2 inches. I hadn't weighed myself for a few weeks, but I was just in denial.
I feel a bit desperate. Somehow nothing seems real right now. Any advice for today and the next days? How do I deal with such a set back?
September 9, 2014 7:42AM
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Congratulations! You are an inspiration
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Thank you :-) Trying my best everyday...0
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Summerfit321 wrote: »I feel alive again, and it's not because all my problems have gone away. Life still gets so hard, so stressful so painful, frustrating and sad at times; but the self-inflicted pain and hurt has gone. I still have a lot of weight to lose, my confidence is still low, but I feel like I can move on. This is the longest I haven't binged for over two years.
Good luck to all of us.
Congratulations for this amazing and inspiring binge-free streak! I especially like what you said here. It reminds me that life doesn't have to be "perfect" for me to stop binging.0 -
BoubouChan wrote: »Summerfit321 wrote: »I feel alive again, and it's not because all my problems have gone away. Life still gets so hard, so stressful so painful, frustrating and sad at times; but the self-inflicted pain and hurt has gone. I still have a lot of weight to lose, my confidence is still low, but I feel like I can move on. This is the longest I haven't binged for over two years.
Good luck to all of us.
Congratulations for this amazing and inspiring binge-free streak! I especially like what you said here. It reminds me that life doesn't have to be "perfect" for me to stop binging.
Thank you for the encouragement. I know exactly what you mean: that was one thing I realized too. I remember feeling overwhelmed, and bingeing helping me along, even if it was just for that day. I always wanted to fix everything so they'd be no reason to binge. I thought, if I'm not sad, anxious, angry, etc... then I'll feel complete and stop doing this to myself. I now realize that sometimes life isn't going to go my way at all, but bingeing really will make it worse.0 -
Very inspirational - thank you for sharing. This gave me a lot to think about. You've done a lot of hard work to get here, congratulations on the awesome progress!!0
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girlviernes wrote: »Very inspirational - thank you for sharing. This gave me a lot to think about. You've done a lot of hard work to get here, congratulations on the awesome progress!!
Thank you so much for the kind words! I love sharing on this forum: it's a rare place of support for people with BED.0 -
You are amazing and a testament to the fact the we can all overcome our struggles if we just take stock of what is going on in our lives. We cannot control everything that happens in our lives but we can control how we treat ourselves. With the right support systems in place, no one is unstoppable at overcoming binge eating disorder. Congratulations to you for taking each day as an opportunity to take better care of yourself. You are truly an inspiration.0
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Congratulations. That's a wonderful achievement.0
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birdie_mmw wrote: »You are amazing and a testament to the fact the we can all overcome our struggles if we just take stock of what is going on in our lives. We cannot control everything that happens in our lives but we can control how we treat ourselves. With the right support systems in place, no one is unstoppable at overcoming binge eating disorder. Congratulations to you for taking each day as an opportunity to take better care of yourself. You are truly an inspiration.
Reading this moved me deeply and made my day! Inspiring someone through my story? Wow... I am truly pleased.
You're right: accepting that there is so much in life we don't control is key. Once we do this, we can let go of so much baggage... but it isn't easy, but I'm trying. I now regard as every day without bingeing a step away from unhappiness and bad health, and a step towards better health, more confidence, looking better. I am slowly leaving an old lifestyle behind... but life is never going to be perfect.
It's now ten weeks since my last binge. I'm getting so used to not-bingeing, that sometimes I wonder why I ever did it, but I know all too well that my reasons at the time were real and I remind myself of this every once in a while.
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That is amazing, thank you so much for posting!0
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WillLift4Tats wrote: »That is amazing, thank you so much for posting!
Thank you so much for the kind words!
It has now been almost two-and a half months. I am so determined to move past this problem.0 -
Wow...that is such an accomplishment!!!0
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lamlam2013 wrote: »Wow...that is such an accomplishment!!!
Thank you!
Tomorrow is eleven weeks.
I am starting to learn how to live...
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I am so happy for you and proud of you!!! How inspiring!!0
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Congratulations!! I know how hard it is to break free from disordered eating. I found success doing something similar, just by focusing on eating for health instead of trying to lose weight or eat at a certain calorie level.
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Thanks Tequila and FluffyDogsRule for the encouragement!
As of today it's been 11 weeks since I stopped bingeing.
I realize that the past few weeks have been much easier than the beginning. My old trigger foods are now just food again: they're in the house and I can eat them if I want, but I never binge on them. So to anyone who stops: it really can get better over time! The one thing that really does still linger is the fear of bingeing, but hey, that might never go away completely.
I've had some tough times in my personal life: loads of stress, etc... but it can't compare to how stressful it was whilst I was binge- eating. I realize that the relief I got from bingeing was maintaining a vicious cycle.
I still don't know exactly why I binged.
Since I stopped I have dropped 3 clothing sizes, people tell me now that I look so different, and I see it too... but I'm still too scared to weigh myself. Bad weigh-ins have triggered me in the past. Further more, I still want to lose more weight, and weight loss is hard.
I mark out each day on a calendar of 28 days. I now have two completed calendars. It is a daily reminder of what I'm doing.
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Thank you for the update! Your story is very encouraging. It's awesome that you can have trigger foods at home and not binge on them. But it's like you said, they're just food. No reason they should have some sort of crazy power over you.0
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BoubouChan wrote: »Thank you for the update! Your story is very encouraging. It's awesome that you can have trigger foods at home and not binge on them. But it's like you said, they're just food. No reason they should have some sort of crazy power over you.
It's crazy right, how much food can change our lives? I think that that's a huge difference between the average person and a binge-eater: food controls us so much. My family could never understand why I would *kitten* and moan about there being too many sweets in the house. "Just have one, or two... don't eat it if you don't want..." I understand where they're coming from: binge-eating is practically impossible to understand if you've never suffered from it.
But yeah... I now feel comfortable having any amount of any food in the house at any time. I stick now to my kcal everyday (sometimes go over or under by 50 kcal...) and live my life. Logging is annoying at times, but I log 6 days a week, sometimes I let Friday be no-logging day, but I stay very reasonable on what I eat. Bingeing now would break my heart.
Meanwhile it's almost twelve weeks post bingeing. Life has been far from perfect, but I'm starting to feel very excited about a binge-free future. 0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »It's crazy right, how much food can change our lives? I think that that's a huge difference between the average person and a binge-eater: food controls us so much. My family could never understand why I would *kitten* and moan about there being too many sweets in the house. "Just have one, or two... don't eat it if you don't want..." I understand where they're coming from: binge-eating is practically impossible to understand if you've never suffered from it.
But yeah... I now feel comfortable having any amount of any food in the house at any time. I stick now to my kcal everyday (sometimes go over or under by 50 kcal...) and live my life. Logging is annoying at times, but I log 6 days a week, sometimes I let Friday be no-logging day, but I stay very reasonable on what I eat. Bingeing now would break my heart.
Meanwhile it's almost twelve weeks post bingeing. Life has been far from perfect, but I'm starting to feel very excited about a binge-free future.
That whole post is amazing.Summerfit321 wrote: »I now feel comfortable having any amount of any food in the house at any time.
That part is the most amazing.
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Some thoughts on this journey, without getting too depressing/ philosophical
1. life is ending: any good time or bad time will eventually pass. It is shorter than you could even imagine, and too often we rush through days hoping they pass. This week I was reminded of this in a horrible way... So enjoy it, make the best of it. Appreciate the people you love: that's what life is really about, not dieting...
2. It is not about the five pounds, or the fifty pounds. The fact that we binge means there's something more than a weight problem. We're not unhappy simply because we're overweight, because sometimes we lose all the weight we want to, and the gain it back: weight loss isn't the answer to all our problems. But we can get better, we really can stop bingeing.
Monday will be 3 months without bingeing. I might even weigh myself then I can see that I am near to my goal weight, very near, and I am so excited. I am managing the holiday foods really well at the moment. It's like my brain is rewiring.
Good luck everyone!0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »I now feel comfortable having any amount of any food in the house at any time.
That part is the most amazing.
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. This has been an unbelievable step forward. I can now even forget that there's a certain foods in the house, because my mind is no-longer fixated on them.
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This is really nice to see that someone managed to overcome bingeing and managed the weight loss journey too! I am trying to fix the binge-eating issue at the moment, so trying not track and just stick to whole foods (3 days so far). When did you decide you would be able to start tracking again without it triggering?0
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anna_louise90 wrote: »This is really nice to see that someone managed to overcome bingeing and managed the weight loss journey too! I am trying to fix the binge-eating issue at the moment, so trying not track and just stick to whole foods (3 days so far). When did you decide you would be able to start tracking again without it triggering?
Hey! Once I decided to stop bingeing, I drew up a calendar for four weeks, on which I would simply cross each day I didn't binge. I started tracking on MFP again after 2- 3 weeks I wish you the best of luck! 0 -
It has now been over 3 months since my last binge. My goal was to not binge for a year: I have completed the first 25%.
The urge to binge has gone away complete for the moment, however, the fact that I am on caloric restriction does make me very hungry at times, and sometimes I get anxious over eating even 100 kcal extra, obsess about food choices, etc... I realize that as long as I try to lose weight, I can never have a "natural" relationship with food.
My confidence has improved more than I thought it would. My life really isn't the same anymore. I found that talking to people who really care about you, and explaining what you're doing is a great motivation.
I am more or less happy with the way I look now. I am simply not brave enough to weigh myself, but I think that I have lost about 20 pounds since I stopped bingeing
Holiday season is here, and I am pleased to say that I can treat myself every now and then.
Binge-eating doesn't have to be a life long problem, you really can get better.0 -
Thank you, this is really inspiring Well done, you must feel great. 0
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Congratulations on reaching 3 months without a binge! That's amazing. I know you'll be able to make it to a full year. Your determination and drive are both apparent. I think you're a wonderful inspiration to all of us and we will all continue to cheer you on throughout the year. Keep being amazing! 0
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floralfriday wrote: »Thank you, this is really inspiring Well done, you must feel great.
Thanks! I really do feel great. Sometimes when I think about it, I find it hard to believe.
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Congratulations on reaching 3 months without a binge! That's amazing. I know you'll be able to make it to a full year. Your determination and drive are both apparent. I think you're a wonderful inspiration to all of us and we will all continue to cheer you on throughout the year. Keep being amazing!
Thank you for the encouragement. 3 months might not seem like a lot, but to me it's a huge deal. Being so desperate and seeing my life changing almost weekly because of binge-eating? I was ready to throw my life away in my early twenties for food... 3 months have changed me, changed my mind and the way I and other people see me. I am now so determined to make this my new life: weight loss will always be secondary to not binge-eating.
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3 months seems like a TON! Heck, for me, 3 days is a huge victory. I absolutely get it. I cannot wait until I'm at the same point. 3 months binge free. It's amazing.0
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