Making changes that are sustainable
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Maintenance is constant vigilance for me. I exercise less than when I was losing, but I still exercise 4 x a week for about 45 min. I have learned that exercise is not optional, but a requirement for me. I still love to eat so I need the calories. I am a small-framed 5'6", almost 63 y.o. My bmr is 1250, w/o exercise my calorie goal is about 1650. I try to get enough exercise to get me another 2-400. I have completely changed how I think about food and how I eat. In the past, I skipped breakfast, fast food lunch, and ate everything in sight for dinner and afterwords. Now, I graze all day long. More plant food than animal, but I eat anything and everything I desire, just not massive amounts. I love to cook and I love goodies and chocolate. I have just learned to be reasonable with them. Food is fuel and I don't use it as a reward anymore, but I do enjoy it. I have maintained at 132 for about three years, with the normal fluctuations of the human body 3-5 lbs. I have a self-imposed upper limit and if I reach it, I go into "lose" mode until it s gone. If I can do it anyone can. This is just what works for me, we all have to find our own path.0
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@marekdds dang that's no mean fear maintaining your loss like that. You seriously rock!0
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Thank you so much @iamfashiontribes. It helps to have people's support, even at this stage of the game.0
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Maintenance is constant vigilance for me.
Yes, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I have yo-yo dieted for years and I am truly worried about achieving my final goal and then losing focus and going right back to my old habits. No one can change that for me, it's entirely a mental thing. What you described is also what I am planning to do when I get there. Thanks so much for sharing!0 -
@BRaye325 you are right. Many of us have yo-yo-ed for years. I changed that paradigm, when I changed my mental attitude. We are not punishing ourselves by "dieting". We are getting healthy by eating proper nutrition. We are not "getting our money's worth" pigging out at a buffet. We are taking care of our bodies by stopping when we are nourished. We are worth more than the money. The hardest element of this journey is the mental challenges.0
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I too worry that I'll lose focus once I'm "there" with the weight loss. I have also yo yo dieted all of my life. BIG swings of 80 or more pounds off and then I get lazy and the weight slowly and sometimes not so slowly creeps back on. I'm hoping the real difference in what and how I'm cooking now is going to make the difference, along with constant tracking and the weight is not going to start coming back this time. It's wonderful to hear from people who have managed to keep it off for so long, you know you really are in the minority but I want to be one of you someday.0
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I mentally started my “maintenance” once I got past the first few months and knew I was committed to permanent weight-loss. Like others – I yo-yo’d and tried every imaginable “diet.” My short successes were always met with a re-gain and I watched 80-90% of overweight friends and family duplicate that pattern. All because of a return to old habits that really were only given up temporarily because it was a "diet."
I am now in “real” maintenance and have not let up. I am still adjusting calories, exercise and goals. I figure it will take all of 2015 to fine-tune things. I will never stop my rules re: meal preparation with regards to presentation and content. Gone forever are the days of eating an entire pizza. I am committed to a new lifestyle.
Unless physically unable, I walk daily etc. My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage. I’m not obsessive to point that I wouldn’t skip a day because of an event commitment etc.
All of this is why I plan to stick with MFP for the long term! It serves as a constant reminder of where I came from - where I ended up -- and where I could end up again, if not always vigilant.0 -
I mentally started my “maintenance” once I got past the first few months and knew I was committed to permanent weight-loss. Like others – I yo-yo’d and tried every imaginable “diet.” My short successes were always met with a re-gain and I watched 80-90% of overweight friends and family duplicate that pattern. All because of a return to old habits that really were only given up temporarily because it was a "diet."
I am now in “real” maintenance and have not let up. I am still adjusting calories, exercise and goals. I figure it will take all of 2015 to fine-tune things. I will never stop my rules re: meal preparation with regards to presentation and content. Gone forever are the days of eating an entire pizza. I am committed to a new lifestyle.
Unless physically unable, I walk daily etc. My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage. I’m not obsessive to point that I wouldn’t skip a day because of an event commitment etc.
All of this is why I plan to stick with MFP for the long term! It serves as a constant reminder of where I came from - where I ended up -- and where I could end up again, if not always vigilant.
You are an example to all of us. Diligence without blind obsession, working your plan and putting one foot in front of the other. What I take away from your journey is that you accepted it would be hard work along the way and long term. Not something you would do for a year and then quit. That is what has tripped me up in the past... I would do okay at the loss part. But maintaining would be heck because I would eventually take up my bad habits again. I have made up my mind that I am going to choose to get a handle on these new habits and understand that they are the only way forward. You tell a compelling story in an honest and forthright manner. You might consider becoming a motivational speaker or wiriter. I think many people could benefit from your experience.0 -
My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage.
How difficult has this process been on your relationship? Keeping on the same path and moving along it together is so important. My wife has also lost a lot since we started. However, we have somewhat different approaches, which is fine, but I see things starting to get farther apart for us. I am very focused and committed to making this a life long change. I want her to find her own way. I can be obsessive and competitive which I know had a negative affect on her when we 'dieted' and yo-yo'd in the past. So this time, I'm trying really hard to just be supportive and encouraging.0 -
My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage.
How difficult has this process been on your relationship? Keeping on the same path and moving along it together is so important. My wife has also lost a lot since we started. However, we have somewhat different approaches, which is fine, but I see things starting to get farther apart for us. I am very focused and committed to making this a life long change. I want her to find her own way. I can be obsessive and competitive which I know had a negative affect on her when we 'dieted' and yo-yo'd in the past. So this time, I'm trying really hard to just be supportive and encouraging.
I think it's the best way to go... do your thing and let your spouse do theirs. My boyfriend is extremely supportive. He is one of those annoying people who can lose weight if he walks an extra block. But he has tried helping me and, happily, has learned to back off when I get irritated with him. He is learning to let me go my own way while still being supportive. It is not easy for him to not offer advice and opinions on every last thing. In a weird way this has improved our communication.
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My husbands really supportive too. He loves cooking and us kind of semi-retired. He needs more calories than me so he often has extra toast or a muffin or a bowl of fruit or yoghurt. I can see him try to do this away from me a little so he is not eating in my face
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He does love to go to restaurants and red wine though - so we have a few favourites that I know I can work into my daily plan or else we walk for a few hours to burn off calories. We used to eat a lot of Lindt chocolate - he would bring it home from work for us to share. We had no idea what we were doing to our weight !
We both like going to the movies and always plan at least an hours walk normally before the movie starts.0 -
Lindt chocolates. Good friends of mine, too. Not that I see them much anymore. It just helps to have your partner in your corner. 0
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I have finally gotten it in to my fat head that this is it. This is how I am going to eat and live forever, I am at peace. No more struggling with myself. I don't feel deprived, never beat my self up if I binge on something. It is a really good place to be, b/c I'm not going to get fat again.0
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Thanks, I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks, lol0
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My wife will sometimes say “can’t you skip 1 day?” and I reply – not at this stage.
How difficult has this process been on your relationship? Keeping on the same path and moving along it together is so important. My wife has also lost a lot since we started. However, we have somewhat different approaches, which is fine, but I see things starting to get farther apart for us. I am very focused and committed to making this a life long change. I want her to find her own way. I can be obsessive and competitive which I know had a negative affect on her when we 'dieted' and yo-yo'd in the past. So this time, I'm trying really hard to just be supportive and encouraging.
I have to say obesity has always been my problem not hers. Like many people she’d like to lose 5-10 lbs, but she has always eaten in moderation and kept busy. I’m blessed that she NEVER commented on my weight except to say she wanted me to be around for more years. In fact, I often told (and still tell) there is no reason for her not to do what she has always done, while I carved out a new food path for myself.
Like you, I can be very “focused” (not sharing many details with anyone off MFP that I thought could derail my efforts) – She will eat whatever I make (I’m the cook / grocery shopper and she loves gardening, laundry etc), but I also bring her McDonalds etc. on occasion or other treats – I just don’t join in.
After witnessing all my failed attempts at Medifast, WW etc. - I think she was surprised at my fortitude and often would say “I can’t believe how good you are.” Admittedly, I loved those words.
When people would press me to “eat just a little” of this or that…she would chime in “you can’t tempt him, he won’t change his mind.” To me that was super supportive of her. If we were going to attend a social gathering – she would casually (during general conversation) tell the host ahead of time “he doesn’t eat a lot anymore and will likely just have a small portion. I just don’t want you to have food go to waste.”
At times (early-on), she did wonder if I was eating enough…until she started seeing the low-calorie nutritious meals I designed and her friends asked for recipes.
Next thing I knew I heard her telling people - “I don’t get it. He eats all the time and still loses weight.”
Bottom line – she knows I respond well to suggestions that I have time to think about. Hmmm. In fact there are times I have ideas that I actually think are my own. LOL
Not sure if any of this helps. Best wishes.
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It sounds like your wife 'gets it.'. It is much easier when your partner is not working against you. NikonPal, you are a lucky man.0
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nikkib0103 wrote: »It sounds like your wife 'gets it.'. It is much easier when your partner is not working against you. NikonPal, you are a lucky man.
and I know it...crazy part is...she says she is...LOL0 -
I really like your wife Nikonpal. I think she's a keeper 0
