I can finally cross another day off my calender.
No binging yesterday.

I think today is gonna be a tough day. I woke up super anxious, and packed all of my meals for the day. I have plans for a friend to come over who has been nagging me to make her a tart, so there’s that and I have an issue with anticipatory bingeing. Then to top it off I showed up at my internship and they told me we have a staff lunch, where meals will be provided. This stresses me out because I already packed everything and now I feel like this is going to throw me off even more. Not only am I stressed about the food component, but this lunch is to welcome a new person. I am REALLY shy and terrible at making small talk, and I don’t know many people here very well except for my supervisor and another intern, neither of whom will be at the meeting. Because of this, I’m likely to feel extra stressed and just eat as a way to deal with it. Also, if I am actively eating then I won’t have to talk as much. I already ate some of the food I brought to calm myself down, so I’m going to try to not eat my lunch too since lunch will be provided and it’s not necessary for me to be eating all of these meals. My friend who is coming tonight for tart MIGHT have an interview today, so I am really hoping that she does like that I can at least avoid that situation and hopefully have a lighter dinner. Or, today might just have to be a free day, which sucks because I binged yesterday too. Sorry for rambling, I don’t know why I’m such a nervous wreck. This should not be such a big deal, most people would be thrilled to have free food!

ab6046 wrote: »

I think today is gonna be a tough day. I woke up super anxious, and packed all of my meals for the day. I have plans for a friend to come over who has been nagging me to make her a tart, so there’s that and I have an issue with anticipatory bingeing. Then to top it off I showed up at my internship and they told me we have a staff lunch, where meals will be provided. This stresses me out because I already packed everything and now I feel like this is going to throw me off even more. Not only am I stressed about the food component, but this lunch is to welcome a new person. I am REALLY shy and terrible at making small talk, and I don’t know many people here very well except for my supervisor and another intern, neither of whom will be at the meeting. Because of this, I’m likely to feel extra stressed and just eat as a way to deal with it. Also, if I am actively eating then I won’t have to talk as much. I already ate some of the food I brought to calm myself down, so I’m going to try to not eat my lunch too since lunch will be provided and it’s not necessary for me to be eating all of these meals. My friend who is coming tonight for tart MIGHT have an interview today, so I am really hoping that she does like that I can at least avoid that situation and hopefully have a lighter dinner. Or, today might just have to be a free day, which sucks because I binged yesterday too. Sorry for rambling, I don’t know why I’m such a nervous wreck. This should not be such a big deal, most people would be thrilled to have free food!

I get the same way sometimes. There are some really aggressive pushers in my family.

Good luck with the rest of your day and I hope your friend's interview goes well!

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Nothing ever prepares us for that sort of thing. But I'm glad to hear that you are motivated to overcome your disorder. Take care of yourself during this time!

And thanks coocoopuff! Yesterday turned out better than I expected. I did exceed 4000 calories but I did not binge. I did overeat and had about 3/4 of the tart that I made, but it's fine. At least I didn't binge. Today is a new day and I'm going to get back on track. I'll be running around the city for a few different meetings and trying to get lots of work done. I won't go to the gym today despite it technically being my day off, but that's because of the weirdly timed meetings and stuff.

I'll be curious to know how this goes for you, and whether the bingeing will reduce once you stop trying to lose weight. What does BDD stand for? Body dismorphoc disorder, or something else?

ab6046 wrote: »

I'll be curious to know how this goes for you, and whether the bingeing will reduce once you stop trying to lose weight. What does BDD stand for? Body dismorphoc disorder, or something else?

yea it stands for Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
For today I will try to keep at maintenance calories atleast since I binged last day and not try to do the fast like I usually do.

Had little binges yesterday. Have definitely had worse, but stayed off the scale cause know it'll be up cause of water. Decided not to start my day that way. That's really hard for me to do. Stay off the scale. Going to plan my meals somehow today. Working 6-11 tonight at new job. First time working that shift. Working all these different shifts really messes me up cause I'm a very scheduled person and I like to eat the same things at the same time everyday or it really throws me off. I'm a nut

I know I really under ate yesterday though because I was at my friends funeral all day.

Awesome about the walking, not so awesome about your neighbor! I hope that today goes better for you.

I'm feeling extremely anxious today, which seems to be a regular occurrence on Monday's. On Mondays I attend weekly staff meetings at one of my internships, and I dread it so much. We always have to go around the table and talk about what we are working on, and I can always feel my face turn red and I start to stammer. I then get so anxious I just rush through what I'm saying and make no sense whatsoever. It's really embarrassing and people there must think I'm so inarticulate, which I kind of am. At least I'm fine when it comes to writing, but really it's important to be able to communicate verbally and I don't know why I get so nervous every time. I have another research meeting on Monday's too and I used to feel similarly, but recently it's been a bit better and I don't feel so nervous. Monday's are a pretty long day, and sometimes I binge when I come home. I'm hoping that's not the case today, especially with this level of anxiety. I just want the first meeting to be over with so I can get to work and then to my other meeting tonight, and be done with it.

So my check in is for yesterday, I have a tile project I have been working on slowly for a week now and I was hell bent to get it done yesterday. The first one was to replace the grout in my bathroom, and in the kitchen I had a tile that was cracked and another that was not secured to the floor. So I was going to remove the grout pop out the tiles and mortar them to the ground, and regrout and be done. Well I was cutting away and finally was able to pop up the tile I needed to recement and this foul odor of what smelled like rancid cat pee just punched me in the face. I pull up the tile to see black stuff, and the wood under the tile half melted away. Apparently my dog when she peed on my kitchen floor it was seeping into the grout and pooling up under the tiles which over time caused the mortar to erode away. So now instead of 2 tiles needing to be fixed I have at least 4 and another area of 4 to check as well. I also should mention these are 18x18 slate tiles and they are very heavy. Also while this is going on I hear water running so I immediately go see what my kids are doing because they were in the bathroom and they like to play with water, so I am yelling down the hall for them to turn off the water as I walk to the bathroom, and they are not playing with water at all. I now get very concerned and walk into my laundry room to find that the intake supply hose for my hot water tank is spraying water out of a hole in the side. So I have to cut off the water supply and wait for the wife to get home from her hair appointment. So she gets home I have to run to Lowe's get the replacement, swap out the hose get the water back on, I go back to my hammer and chisel as my Dremel tool with the grout bit has decided to stop working and I hit the hammer one time and realize I have no more gas in the tank. So I clean up the floor shrapnel apologize to the wife, who understands as I has been busting my butt around the house inside and out all weekend and put everything away, until I get off work today and get right back to the floor tile fun. It did help me burn a lot of calories, so that is a bonus lol. I should also mention I have zero ability as a carpenter or construction worker so this project is all being taught to me by YouTube lol.

Yesterday wasn't too bad. Today is a bit rough.

That's awesome you haven't had a full blown binge. Zombella I hope tomorrow is better for you. Despite an anxious start, I had a fantastic day. Had five meetings and my internship. Feeling really motivated. It's crunch time and the next few weeks will be crazy.

So far im on my 5th day of no binge and it feels good!

RespectTheKitty wrote: »

Not doing well. Broke up with my boyfriend last night. Been crying all day and just want to eat everything. I took the day off work and went for a 5-mile walk instead. Luckily it's the day before payday so there's not a lot of food in the house, and no money to buy anything.

Oh man I'm so sorry to hear that. If you want to talk about it feel free to message me/post on here! Thinking of you.

Very tired today, my dishwasher has not been cleaning dishes very well for a while now. I had taken it apart cleaned everything I could find, ran bleach, and vinegar cycles through it. It was still not working properly, so talked to the wife and we decided to get a new one yesterday. The old one was about 8 years old so we got a lot of use out of it. I went and bought one brought it home, and installed it myself. For me it was a major accomplishment, my wife even asked if we should have Lowe's install it or have someone come help, and I said no I can figure it out. The old me would have never attempted something like this on my own. It is amazing how much has changed in my over the last few months.