Daily check in

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  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    I had a mini binge last night. Nothing horrible, but I think it was anticipatory. Today at my internship we are supposed to have a doughnut day. I'm doing all I can to not binge in anticipation. Friday is also going to be extremely hard and it's difficult for me to not justify just having a free week and starting over next week.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    Definitely feeling bingey
  • daniellethesheep
    daniellethesheep Posts: 117 Member
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    Binged last night after a near perfect day. Came back to my room after studying til midnight, ate a whole jar of PB and 3 Greek yogurts. Up seven pounds and I feel absolute disgusting. Still having urges even though there's no food in my room. I haven't stopped thinking about it all day and I just want to rip my skin off. I haven't been working out much at all and I hurt my hip last Saturday. I'm disgusted with myself. I need to get this weight off now.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    How did the rest of the day go?

    Mine sucked. I had a couple mini binges in the morning then three after my internship. I also ate trigger foods at my internship. And now I'm plotting to binge again, as I'm waiting for a box of twelve doughnuts and a few one pound chocolate bars to come my way. I would say today hasn't been a full blown binge, but smaller episodes. I think a lot of this is anticipatory. We were supposed to have a doughnut day at internship today, so I binged. It's koffies birthday on Friday and we have all kinds of food plans, so I think I'm just stressed about that. It's very frustrating. I hope I can stop and that I haven't already found myself in another bingeing cycle. My last one barely ended.
  • daniellethesheep
    daniellethesheep Posts: 117 Member
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    Ate fairly okay for the rest of the day. Around where maintainence was when I was working out so definitely too much for now. Weighted myself and I'm now up 10 lbs from Monday. Perfect
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    It kind of sounds like your desperation to lose the weight might be fueling your bingeing. Would you consider not weighing yourself for a week or so? Have you ever tried that before?
  • daniellethesheep
    daniellethesheep Posts: 117 Member
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    Yeah. I've done it a few times and gained over 10 (real) pounds each time.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    Same here! It's such a great idea in theory and works for so many people, but not for me. I'm sorry to hear you've had the same experience.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    It seems I'm back to bingeing. That was the shortest restricting cycle ever. So frustrating. I think it's because I'm anticipating Friday so much but then after that I'll have a bunch of other stuff too. Lame.
  • RespectTheKitty
    RespectTheKitty Posts: 1,667 Member
    edited May 2016
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    It's 5:15 PM and I'm at -168 net calories for the day. This is not good. Definitely in a restricting cycle. If I keep this up, I'm going to crash and binge so hard.

    Thing is, I'm not even feeling hungry. Not sure what's up with that.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    Yikes. Yeah you should try to eat even if you're not hungry. Don't like force feed yourself thousands of calories but if you're restricting this much consistently then you are very likely going to end up in a horrible binge cycle.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    Started the day off bingeing. I know it's in anticipation of tomortow
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    I think I'm in my next bingeing cycle...already. I've binged consistently for the last three days. This morning I woke up at 6 AM and ate 42 large doughnuts, yogurt, chia pudding, and a bagel and peanut butter and banana sandwhich. Then I ate five slices of stale bread fried in coconut oil and sugar and cinnamon, then came to my internship. Once I got here I ate my lunch right away. I don't know what's wrong with me. God I'm so mad. I've been doing so well too. I'm on the fast path to gaining back any weight I've lost plus some. If I can just start over this weekend (tomorrow is Koffie's birthday so we have lots of food plans) then maybe I can start to reverse the damage. My goal for this week was to lose 0.3 pounds which I already exceeded, but this binge will likely put me back to maintenance or gain for the week (I track based off of a trend app's expected weight instead of actual weight, otherwise if it was actual weight I'd be up like eight pounds at least haha).

    Sorry for being all over this forum. I hope everyone is doing better than I am!
  • drpsamin
    drpsamin Posts: 265 Member
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    When I read all the comments above they really resonate with me. I have BED (diagnosed)..thereapy where I live is so expensive and I cant afford it at the moment. It is sad because I really need it. I'm currently on a relapse and havent binged for 3-4 months. I'm down 12kg(25lb) and 5kg away from goal weight. I had a baby 11 months ago and my binging got worse post partum when I started eating all the time. Binged few times a day and always felt hungry, depressed, ashamed.

    I still feel the urge to binge...But so far have been succesful for the past few months at resisting.

    I've heard of the OA 12-step program but I'm not religious so I'm not sure if I can joiN?
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
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    I think you can find the steps online somewhere, but I believe it is very religiously themed in the steps.
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
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    Started well, ended badly...Binged..bread rolls, chocolate cake. Feeling miserable...though today in the morning I checked my weight and I"ve lost. That's good, but still... Depressed. I did so good for few days...and...
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
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    I couldn't sleep because I was very nervous.

    I wanted to binge but managed to just explore the Internet on my phone for two hours.
  • drpsamin
    drpsamin Posts: 265 Member
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    Didnt binge today
  • RespectTheKitty
    RespectTheKitty Posts: 1,667 Member
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    r03z5vugim37.png

    Hooray for no binges!
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
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    Woke up with a really strong urge to binge. Today is my day off and I almost talked myself out of exercising. I ended up doing it, but only twenty minutes. This could be a bad sign.