I had a mini binge last night. Nothing horrible, but I think it was anticipatory. Today at my internship we are supposed to have a doughnut day. I'm doing all I can to not binge in anticipation. Friday is also going to be extremely hard and it's difficult for me to not justify just having a free week and starting over next week.

It seems I'm back to bingeing. That was the shortest restricting cycle ever. So frustrating. I think it's because I'm anticipating Friday so much but then after that I'll have a bunch of other stuff too. Lame.

Yikes. Yeah you should try to eat even if you're not hungry. Don't like force feed yourself thousands of calories but if you're restricting this much consistently then you are very likely going to end up in a horrible binge cycle.

I think I'm in my next bingeing cycle...already. I've binged consistently for the last three days. This morning I woke up at 6 AM and ate 42 large doughnuts, yogurt, chia pudding, and a bagel and peanut butter and banana sandwhich. Then I ate five slices of stale bread fried in coconut oil and sugar and cinnamon, then came to my internship. Once I got here I ate my lunch right away. I don't know what's wrong with me. God I'm so mad. I've been doing so well too. I'm on the fast path to gaining back any weight I've lost plus some. If I can just start over this weekend (tomorrow is Koffie's birthday so we have lots of food plans) then maybe I can start to reverse the damage. My goal for this week was to lose 0.3 pounds which I already exceeded, but this binge will likely put me back to maintenance or gain for the week (I track based off of a trend app's expected weight instead of actual weight, otherwise if it was actual weight I'd be up like eight pounds at least haha).

Sorry for being all over this forum. I hope everyone is doing better than I am!

I think you can find the steps online somewhere, but I believe it is very religiously themed in the steps.

I couldn't sleep because I was very nervous.

I wanted to binge but managed to just explore the Internet on my phone for two hours.

Hooray for no binges!

Well, done quite good for 1.5 days...No binge, trying to relax more. Still the evening to survive, feeling a bit like eating some trigger foods, but...Will try to avoid. Hope all goes well till bedtime!

Had a pretty rough day yesterday. I binged like crazy on a ton of carbs-granola, potato chips, pasta, and cheese. I had one binge in the afternoon and then another in the evening. Went to bed feeling pretty gross.

But today is a new day and I have not been having any binge urges. Usually the day after a big binge I don't have much of an appetite, but I still eat because I feel like I should. Tonight I am having some friends over to cook and make dessert. I hope that if anything I just overeat instead of binging. I am going to try to focus on the company instead of the food as well as eat my meal mindfully.

We'll see how it goes!

Yesterday was really bad for me. I managed to avoid bingeing until the late afternoon, but then I had six English muffins smothered in cheese, two pints of ice cream, 50 salt water taffies, three doughnuts, a box of Swedish fish, lots of bread, chocolate, a few bowls of almonds, tons of rice, and the list goes on and on and on. I'm definitely back in a bingeing cycle and really unhappy about it. My goal is to simply not binge again until Monday. Then after graduation, I can binge as much as I want that day. I just need to make it until then.

A few of you have sent me messages checking up on me so I just wanted to check in really quick. I'm doing okay, therapy is really helping me. I've realized that MFP is not a safe place for me right now so I've decided to step away from it. Calorie counting and weighing/logging food are not good for my obsessive mentality. Coming on here and seeing other's losing weight, although I'm proud of everyone, is a major trigger for me because I am not losing at the moment. Also reading about everyone else's binges has also become a trigger for me. I'm learning through my therapy that I worry far too much about what other people are doing and what others might think about me. So right now I'm trying to rid myself of the background noise in my mind and focus on me. Maybe I will be back some day, who knows. I want to wish all of you good luck and that we all beat this disorder.

I binged a lot today. Got to work and nobody had touched the treats I binged on on Monday so I took it upon myself to eat them all. Then my supervisor bought me a milkshake. So naturally I came home and binged some more. Right now I'm gorging myself on Reese's pieces and milk duds. My goal is to not binge tomorrow through Sunday. That's all. Then I can go crazy on Monday.