So nothing really new to report on my stalled journey. Back from the lake and it was so nice, I could have stayed for a month no sweat but the three days was good enough for now. Got a ton of wood moved and stacked plus landscaped and put grass seed down on a half acre or so. Had to set watering timers so hopefully we guessed right and aren't flooding out the property.

This week at home I am attacking my front and backyard. Laying down some rock in the front instead of grass and putting rock and sod in the backyard. If I can get it done I might just be able to sneak one more cheeky trip to the lake next weekend.

As for diet and exercise, I'm working pretty hard in the yard and still haven't done any working out. I'm eating at maintenance and hovering between the 215-218 mark. Trying to make healthy choices but truly don't have the time to sit and log it. My ultimate goal is to learn how to eat properly and when I hit maintenance not need MFP for the logging side of things. These last two months have been a positive indicator that maintenance without logging is going to be possible. My next trip into Russia will be for a full month so I should be able to come out real close to onederland, that is unless someone decides to die a couple times again.

Amy gym equipment still isn't in but I am fully expecting to get it next week. Still looking forward to it. Oh yeah, and I'm getting air conditioning in my house tomorrow and the install will be done Wednesday. It was 30 degrees here today and at 9:38pm it's still 28 in my daughters bedroom with the windows open and the fans on. I can't wait.

I just re-read this post after writing it, if anyone is following I apologize for rambling. I have a lot to say because I am frustrated that I let my journey stall out and am anxious to get back to the losing ways.

It seems that the entire "Motivation Journal" section is slow now. That really is disappointing. I found that when I was achieving my best results at the start of the year this section was booming with people and comments. I hope that everything hasn't fallen off.

So its been two weeks since I checked in. I landed in Siberia this morning at 3:30am and am now at work. I am supposed to weigh in today but since I just flew I refuse too. I will in the morning. Unfortunately I will be waking up to around a 5 pound gain in two weeks and that is if I am lucky. Going forward I am going to try and avoid stopping off in Moscow, all that happens there is eating like a pig and drinking too much beer. My next shift I will try to fly straight into Siberia.

I said it a few posts ago but I have pretty much done nothing fitness wise for what feels like an eternity. In reality I believe I stopped working out at the start of April except for a workout here and there. Because of this, my weight is right around the same as it was in the start of April. My hurt knee still acts up and a couple days ago I hurt my ankle so now it hurts to walk and is all swollen. I feel as though my body is starting to fall apart and I need to do something about it. Thankfully I am in the part of the world where I can focus solely on eating at my deficit and if my body will allow it, I can work out nightly.

I have reset my daily streak to represent what it really is. Somehow it didn't reset by itself even when I didn't log on for a week straight. I am back to being motivated now and am looking at this as the next step in my journey.

On the day before I left I picked up my gym equipment, it finally all showed up. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to set it up but will take care of that when I get home at the end of July. I plan on spending three weeks at the lake so chances are it will collect dust during the summer and I will start using it come fall. Regardless, it makes me happy that I finally have all of the stuff at my house.

So looking forward to the next 23 days my goal is to get back on the wagon. I said two weeks ago that I would like to hit 199 pounds by August 1st but I don't see that happening. I feel soft and bloated and it is quite obvious to myself that I have gained weight.

Since this post is getting long and I keep rambling, here is what I AM going to do.

1. I will log everything I eat and try to stay around 1500 net calories. I am ok if it creeps up to 2000 net calories a couple times but the majority of the time, I'm shooting around 1500
2. If my ankle and knee hold up I want to work out 20 nights out of the next 23. I won't consider it a failure if I physically can't work out but provided everything holds together this should be easy. I believe that even with my messed up ankle I can ride the bike. Tonight will tell me for sure.
3. I will not drink a beer until I am back down at the lake on the boat for summer holidays. I don't really have any buddies on shift with me so this should be a no brainer.

If I can succeed in achieving the three items listed above I am confident that by the end of this shift I will officially be into the "Overweight" category.

I will check back in tomorrow and update on my current weight and the status of my ankle. I hope to weigh in at 218 lbs but have a sneaking suspicion that I am over 220 again

Soon after I wrote the above post I started thinking about the tiny amount of cardio I have done in the last little while and decided to pull up a report. In the last 90 days I have only worked out 7 times. Before last night, the last time was May 6th. I belong to MFP and have a group of people that I support and who in turn support me. I am embarrassed and I wonder why I even have been logging into the community if I wasn't going to do anything to lose weight? I am glad that I did, but I'm not sure why I bothered.

My personal experience with weight loss since January is that it is completely voluntary. When I watch what I eat and put in the time in my gym I lose, when I eat like a slob and sit on the couch I gain, I have even found out that if I watch what I eat and don't work out I maintain.

Losing weight is easy. Not easy as in it requires no effort or dedication, but easy as in I know exactly what needs to be done to do it. It almost amazes me now, at the end of June that I am still at 221lbs. I was 5 pounds lighter than this three months ago on April 4th. How in the world did I allow myself to get off track for three whole months on something that I was so passionate about doing in January.

Things are changing starting today. I have 21 full days left in Siberia and summer holidays officially start on August 1st. I will make the changes needed starting today to move forward.

@tcunbeliever I'm not beating myself up over this although I should be because given the situation its borderline embarrassing. I try to be honest to myself, I do celebrate victories as that's extremely important, but if I act like an idiot like I have the last few months, the only way to change it is to recognize how stupid I have been and then do something about it. To sugar coat it and tell myself that it's okay doesn't work. I don't let things slide anywhere else in my life other than my weight, and this year has been dedicated to fix that and get it in line with the rest of things. I allowed myself to make excuses to not workout for the last 5 weeks at home. Sometimes it was as simple as wanting to nap, or telling myself that I'll work out tomorrow when the wife was home. Other times it was thinking that I wanted to lift weights but "can't" because my new weights hadn't arrived (even though there is a full bowflex machine downstairs) its all excuses. I go on summer holidays in August and I actually had a chance to look good on the boat for the first time in my life, but I blew that for another year. I had really reasonable goals set but decided sitting on the couch was more important. As I mentioned that's done. For the next few months, the only time it's okay to not pay attention will be holidays, for the rest of the time I will stick to my plan.

@Quzzdragon12 Thanks for the vote of confidence, that is exactly what I am planning on doing

@WifiresGettingFit My options for keeping it elevated and iced are few and far between but luckily the pain is going away. If I cinch up my work boots real tight I can even walk without a limp now. The swelling is still there but the pain is getting better. I am hoping that within two or three days I will be able to do some T25 videos. Riding the bike is good but those videos are the real workout. Thanks for sending me that link to the other workouts, I'm not so interested in them for the Mrs. but more for myself. I have already set my mind to doing strong lifts 5x5 and it was the whole reason I went out and bought a power rack and weight set but its a well known fact that strong lifts is a beginner routine that gets old fairly quickly. Also I don't know how long I can do squats 3x a week before I start having problems. So once I'm satisfied with SL5x5 I am going to use that to find a new routine.

So last night was another success. I was able to ride the bike for 45 minutes and got a real nice workout from it. My HRM clocked in at 376 calories. It feels good to sweat again, like @Kell2912 posted, sweat is fat crying. As mentioned above my ankle feels a bit better and riding the bike doesn't bother it at all. Food yesterday was okay as well. I was right around the calorie mark but the majority of them were from snacks. I am hoping to get to the grocery store tonight or tomorrow to start making real food. Not that I'm complaining about eating beef jerky and protein bars

After working out twice I already feel better about the whole situation. I am much less puffy then I was before and my torso is starting to tighten up again. I really want to get back on T25 to get more muscles working but for the meantime the bike will help with the weight loss. I do have a big day at work today with lots of lifting but provided my knee doesn't act up there should be no reason I can't get another 300 calorie burn in tonight on the treadmill. I can already feel the effects of burning calories on my stomach too. The first two days my oatmeal filled me up until lunch time, now I already hungry at 10am.

If I can stay injury free for the next three weeks by goal is to reach 211 pounds. That's three pounds a week but as I mentioned I still think I have a couple extra pounds of water sitting on me.

Thanks for listening, I feel better now that I have finished my rant.

@WifiresGettingFit I'm happy to report that the ankle is again even better today. I can walk on flat ground with no pain so I'm getting closer to a recovery. The base that I work at is mostly sand and that still makes it ache a bit. Unfortunately I can't avoid walking around in it but for the time being I would say its probably up to about 60%. The swelling is still noticeable compared to my other ankle but with any luck I should be able to try T25 tomorrow night or the next.

I would love to say that I will be able to do the SL program start to finish but even in a perfect world I can only do 4 weeks in a row then I come back to work. In the distant future I may be able to start a month on month off bulking/cutting program and see if it works. Before I worry about that I need to get started lifting.

I used to do the protein powder in my oatmeal thing but lately it grosses me out a little bit. Something that I found is absolutely delicious is chocolate powder in coffee. You just need to make sure you don't try to add it to hot coffee or it makes a gooey mess. You can either mix it with a bit of milk and water then add the coffee or mix it with cold coffee and heat it up afterwards. It takes like a really creamy mocha.

As for last night. I am happy to report that I am three for three on both eating within my calorie goals and working out. I was able to crush a 45 minute ride last night and worked out hard enough to sweat right through an entire T-shirt. As I voiced before, for me personally if I'm not sweating like that I'm not working hard enough. I could ride the bike for much longer that 45 minutes if I had a more comfortable seat to sit on. I'm sure in Canada I would be able to modify it somehow to make it better but without tools or stores here I'm pretty much hooped. Either way I am happy if I get 30-45 minutes each ride. A 200-300 calorie addition is more than enough to get me through the days. The uncomfortable seats on both this bike and the one I have at home are making me consider buying a recumbent bike for at home but I don't know if I want to drop another $1500 on my home gym that I have barely been using.

This morning (as I do every morning) I stepped on the scale and it is indeed starting to trend downwards. Once I seen that I rewarded myself with a touch of real maple syrup in my oatmeal. It was a nice little treat but I don't like all of the added sugar on a regular basis, so for now I will keep it to once or twice a week as a bit of a celebration.

After today I will be out of food so I guess I will finally find my way to the grocery store, I'm not the worlds greatest cook so I assume soup, fajitas and chili are in my near future.

I'm still really positive about working out and eating healthy again which makes this much easier to stick too. If the scale keeps going in the right direction that is all of the motivation that I need to stick too it for the next few weeks. @WifiresGettingFit as I mentioned on your page, if you are interested in coming up with some sort of plan to keep us focused for July let me know. And anyone else who reads this is more than welcome to do it with us if we decide too. I'm thinking along the lines of a certain amount of days, and minutes per day of exercise, as well as a certain number of days for meeting calorie goals.