maoribadger wrote: »

Obesitywarrior (bob?) did your dr consider the thyroid stuff?

Not sure what (bob?) means. I am Laura, been on and off MFP for years my old profile was Persistent soul then I lost my password and had to make this new profile.
Anyway, I spoke to my Key worker and she is going to request an appointment with psychiatrist for me. My psychiatrist abruptly retired without notice early this year then I had a temp one and when she left in June I never received the promised appointment with the new Psychiatrist. This will be my 6th Psychiatrist I think which is far from ideal as whoever it is will not know me.

I am sorry to hear that things are still so hard for you but glad you are still engaging with help so well.
Last week I was suicidal in a mixed state and hit my lowest point yet again, my manfriend came over to help get me through that. Saturday morning I woke up high as a kite on my own brain chemistry. Have spent a large chunk of my savings on impulsive manic shopping spree. In the low I did not leave my flat for 2 weeks then this week I have been buzzing around all over the place. Been to a food addicts anonymouse in recovery meeting for first time in years Wednesday evening after first spending whole day shopping. Then late I met up with my ex husband for a long over due heart to heart. Yesterday I finally made it to a monthly bipolar support group that I have been meaning to go to for 6 years. It was intense being in a room of 18 bipolar people in various states but I may go back, got chatting with another lady who had not been to the group before either. About half the group were new members. She asked to exchanged numbers so we did. I hope that was right thing to do. My last bipolar friend used to call me at all hours having meltdowns, she was an alcoholic who added huge amounts of alcohol and cocaine to her meds, I had to walk away in the end because she was just so out of control. Dealing with my own bipolar nightmare is enough. The new lady seems safe though, she is young, shy and lives with family so not likely to be snorting drugs and drowning in alcohol.
Bipolar itself is like being on drugs, it is such an unstable condition. It is so important to respect that. I am always seeking ways to add support and minimise damage. Being proactive and willing to engage with help is the only way to survive this for me. It seems like you get that too.

Lise, so proud of you for being harm free for 25+ days. You are doing awesome. One step at a time. One day at a time.

The new job is going AWESOME!!!!!! I believe I should be able to finish my computer based training this week. I've done some on the job training also. I am loving this part time job. It's FUN. My depression has lifted, now I'm numb feeling. Not sad, not happy.... but numb. Doc seems to think over medicated so he dialed back the Cymbalta to 60mg in the morning. I'm completely off the Effexor. I, too, was having some wild dreams coming off it, so your dreams may have been detox related.

Carly, I understand the frustration. Nice analogy about the puzzle. I can relate. Stay strong girlie.......


Love ya both.

maoribadger wrote: »

Struggling badly. This plan seems eminently to make sense to me and be the way I should eat. Yeeeeeet I found myself yesterday ramming a load of french stick bread and 2 mini rolls into my mouth and tonight ate a bowl of pasta. And I am hungry now. I know its going to take some time to make these changes. Maybe I am trying to change too much at once. Ive totally switched from full fat to diet soda whilst also cutting the amount of it I drink by a good 1/3. And I am logging even when I am not happy with the results. I think I need to accept this is a process because at the moment the urge to binge is really bad

@maoribadger - For me, the only thing that really helped make the switch from all the carbs to lower carb was upping fats. The body can only use fats or carbs for fuel. (The body can use protein, but it is an inefficient fuel and requires a heck of a process to get it to a usable form, and you end up losing a good portion of that energy in the conversion process.)

If you're taking away carbs, it needs fats. It is as simple as that. We're often taught all our lives that fats are bad, but for the most part that isn't true. Trans Fats are bad. The rest, it's more in how they are often paired.

Additionally, when you drop carbs, with them goes much of the water they retained that was required to process the carbs. With that water goes all electrolytes. So increasing sodium helps to keep them all in.

For me, no matter what level of carb restriction, I have to generally have at least 5000 mg of sodium added daily to keep me from having electrolyte loss. I find that my high carb to sodium needs have increased, as well. I'm not sure why.

But, also, particularly when cutting starches and sugars, if you have any bad gut bacteria, the die-off effect will make you want to dive head first into the bread, pasta, potatoes, and all things starchy/sugary.

It is almost impossible not to cave to that siren song - UNTIL you realize what and why.

It helps to add a probiotic or low carb yogurt with good cultures (full fat is preferred, but you can add a few TBSP of double cream to increase the good fats) during this transition.

I'm currently trying to find my level within everything - and while I still believe in lower carb plans, I realize that I can't go as low as I would like to combat cravings, binges, and compulsions - not without help, because my thyroid cannot handle it... So I'm getting there...

HUGS, Lise...it does get easier. I promise.

HUGS, Cari - I hope you're starting to feel better by now... And I'm SUPER happy that your new guy is asking questions and getting a good groundwork under his feet. That's gotta be a great feeling.

I am glad you have some help options open to you. I think it is worth giving things a try and to keep in mind you can come back to stuff later if too much to do it all now. I have a lot of issues going on and I know it is impossible to focus on all of them at once. It generally becomes naturally apparent what need to be my top priorities at any given time. You are doing the right thing by finding out your options. I have several comorbid conditions and although it can seem overwhelming to get several diagnosis for me it was worth doing so because it opens up the variety of support I have acess to even if i am not accessing all of it at all times.

I talk mostly about bipolar because for me it is the most frequently disruptive of my selection of illnesses.

my full mental health diagnosis list is

• Bipolar disorder
• Borderline now called emotional intensity or dysregulation and schizotypal personality disorders
• Aspergers now called High functioning autism
• Dissociative identity disorder (comprising at least 13 different identities)
• Binge Eating Disorder
• Dermatillomania-compulsive skin picking (well controlled at the moment)

I also have chronic anxiety, a selection of sleep disorders and complicated post traumatic stress.

Then Physically I have

• Polycystic ovary syndrome
• Mildly underactive thyroid
• Variable levels of chronic fatigue and unexplained pains

I do not think I am that unusual in having so many things going on
A lot of my mental health diagnosis overlap in the symptoms. I found it helpful to learn as much as I could about each diagnosis and although that does not make any of it go away, I at least feel like I have a better understanding of what is going on. Bipolar and Borderline personality both being mood disorders can make it confusing distinguishing between the two to decide if have one or the other or both things going on. For me I do recognise I have both. I distinguish them by how they present.

Although I have progressed to having rapid cycling form of bipolar I can still distinguish a bipolar episode from a borderline episode. For me a borderline personality mood swing is always triggered by something external and the mood swing is fast and short lived as in contained within hours, the trigger is most often any hint of abandonment or something that makes me angry, my buttons get pressed and I rapidly boil over for a period of hours.

Bipolar mood swings for me come from within, no external trigger required and the mood shifts last longer usually weeks at a time for me.

The multiple illnesses definitely trigger each other though. For me a particularly bad bipolar episode will often trigger my dissociative identity disorder to shift around which in turn affects how my other disorders manifest.

Basically though I think there are 3 types of people in the world. Standard sensitivity, super sensitive and under sensitive. The majority of people are standard sensitivity and that enables them to go about their lives without getting crazy. Under sensitives are the psychopaths, sadists and sociopaths of the world. Super Sensitives are us, we are the ones who get most tormented by life and end up with splintered minds and lost in addictions. Our super sensitive natures exposed to the harshness of life unavoidably leads to some extent of mental emotional illness and seeking comfort.

My last bipolar Mixed episode triggered a significant shift in my personalities structure. This happens as a built in protection from my suicidality. When I hit a point where I am ready to opt out of living that triggers another personality to step in or even take over completely once. When I Laura was ready to opt out start of 2011 Amy stepped in and completely took over for many months before we even went back to being a collaboration. Of my 13+ personalities there are generally 2 or 3 who are most dominant at any given time but which two or 3 varies over time. Two of my personalities who have been dormant for years came back in to the mix after last mixed episode. One was last active in 2005 (Bliss), the other was last active in 2009 (Rachel). Both of them were abruptly reintegrated for my own safety after my last mixed state. Unlike previous occasions it was a reintegration this time instead of a take over. That I think reflects the amount of effort I have put into working on the dissociative identity over the last 4 years while I have not been working.

It is still disruptive though because each personality has different feelings, ideas, perspectives and how I live my life is based on a consensus between whoever is most active at the time. I was living as predominantly Laura, Amy, Mary collaboration, The bipolar Depression triggered Dana and Sarah to step in to mix. Dana and Sarah are most suicidal parts of me. After the mixed episode, in order to protect me from suicide Bliss and Rachel stepped in, they probably stepped in because having both been dormant a long time they are well rested. Bliss is vegan and her views on that are very powerful and outrank all of the rest of me's food opinions and food issues.

Last time Bliss was dominant I was a virgin member of a celibate cult living a very minimalist lifestyle that revolved around a strong spiritual/moral compass. Bliss is now active again and feeling a bit disorientated by the changes over last 10 years. Her first ruling was that I am now vegan again and feel all her upset about not having lived as a vegan for past ten years, she is not impressed with my food choices while she was dormant.
Rachel was married to my ex husband and was a sponsor in food addicts anonymouse having lost all the weight in 2009. Rachel is somewhat disorientated by the change in circumstances over last 7 years. Her first ruling was that I had to get new clothes because Rachel is a big believer in making best of self and living with self respect.

Anyway those recent shifts have had a big effect on my life. I am now Vegan and once again attending food addicts in recovery anonymous meetings and overeaters anonymous meetings. It is a bit of a shock to my system but I actually feel good about it. My low carb Keto ideas have gone out the window because Bliss's vegan ruling is unmovable. She makes a decision and there is no arguing with it, it is final. Bliss and Rachel working together is a serious combination. I will lose the weight because Rachel will enforce that and Bliss will make sure I do it vegan style.

Could feel a little crowded in my head as I have right now Laura (I deal with most interactions with the outside world), Amy, Bliss, Rachel, Mary and Megan all active. Mary is the voice of reason and my built in therapist, Megan is my artistic nurturing part. I think it is a good combination.

So NEW FOOD PLAN born of this collaboration. Mary insisted we educate ourselves with numerous you tube videos, Keto v Starch based v vegan v high nutrient. all approaches I have looked at and lived by in past but never been subjected to one after the other like this. Anyway the overall ruling was that every argument is totally convincing even though they directly contradict each other. Every argument had loads of evidence and health turn around examples. Marys conclusion was that human bodies are very adaptable and can live off a wide variety of foods and eating styles and be healthy. The only unhealthy way of eating is to live on over processed junk food. So the new food plan is Vegan as Bliss insists on it and Mary has no objection. The idea of dieting has been ruled out. Mary is in favour of eating 1500-2000 calories a day with no forbidden foods other than meat and fish out of respect for Bliss. Dairy and eggs will also not be eaten in home but to make life easier and plan realistic small amounts of dairy or eggs when eating out occasionally will be permitted. 1500-2000 calories a day will be split over 3-4 meals and will be based around whole foods. We will decide whether or not to get a food addicts or overeaters sponsor or if we want a sponsor at all.

Lise, I simply don't know how you do all that.

Side note: most acid reflux, GERD, or anything like that is actually a missing key acid, or less acid that needed. Because most people are missing a key acid, their bodies OVER PRODUCE all the other types of acid, making the situation quite dire. Taking omeprazole is a temporary fix, but it actually worsens the underlying situation.

I don't know if I told you, but I had to add a dose of ACV in pill form, plus a digestive enzyme that includes ox bile and such, and my acid problems are history. I can eat a spicy, fatty, or crazy dish and immediately go to bed without any incident, unless I drink too much water which dilutes the acid and/or makes it float...

As for the rest of it, I think I must be mentally overtaxed at the moment, because I'm worn out just from reading it.

Sending you all my love and comfort and good thoughts... HUGS, Carly

@maoribadger - I haven't used this brand, but this is the least expensive one I found online. I've used the brand in other things, and the ingredients are similar enough on the main ones (ox bile, the pancreatin, etc.) that it could work well for you.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Solgar-Digestive-Enzymes-Tablets-Pack/dp/B000Z8X3WE/

This one seems to have everything, too. I actually like this one better as the other one above has peppermint oil, and that can cause the flap that closes off the stomach from the esophagus not to close fully if you're sensitive to it, and the one just below, Biophix, doesn't seem to have that in the ingredients, as per Google.

https://amazon.co.uk/Biophix-Super-Enzymes-180-Tabs/dp/B009I3G7FW/

This next one doesn't have the ox bile to help with the stomach acid portion, but it might be helpful if you have any problems with lactose... https://amazon.co.uk/Source-Naturals-Essential-Vegetarian-Capsules/dp/B000GFJJSI/


This is the actual one I use, but it's about twice as much as the others listed above. Personally, if you can, I'd problem try out that Biophix...the first one is okay, too, (but I didn't compare quantity price), if you don't have issues with peppermint oil...

https://amazon.co.uk/Super-Enzymes-Tabs-Now-Foods/dp/B001G3R97M/


I hope some of the first ones might be okay for you to try, as they aren't too terribly expensive and might make you feel better overall. I know that many times ANY cost is too much for me...but just wanted to share...

And yes, if you need to vent work stuff, please do!!! We're your safe space, mate...use us! (hugs)

I think that the volume alone you've listed would have me practically BEGGING you to stay off work until the docs all feel you are absolutely level enough to go back to work and flourish, not just function and survive! Sending all the good thoughts, Lise...