1Madgirl's weight loss journey

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Replies

  • wsandy8512
    wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897 Member
    edited April 2017
    (((((1MADGIRL)))), I agree with the other two ladies in that ditching those chats is good idea. Hit delete and don't look back, easier said than done, I know. He didn't appreciate you for who you were, it is his loss and his mistake. I hope you're able to come to a place where you love yourself more and realize that because you do, you will never allow yourself to deal with complete a$$hats again.

    Edited to add: This is your journal, it isn't just weight loss that matters. Everything you go through to get where you want to be factors in. You need to vent or cry and need virtual hugs, this is your place. One day you can look back through and see how far you've come. :-)
  • Brendalea69
    Brendalea69 Posts: 3,863 Member
    I agree with everyone else, delete those texts now...Words hurt more than anything and rereading them is not letting you heal...You do not deserve someone that treats you that way...You will get through this it's just going to take time and the first step is to delete those texts...There is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated...Stay strong <3
  • HestiaMoon1
    HestiaMoon1 Posts: 278 Member
    Delete the bad stuff - and the good stuff. You need to work on letting go of the good memories because they'll mess with you even more than the bad ones. You aren't dumb to believe him. He was a master at manipulating you. One thing he probably did was try to convince you you aren't strong - but if you aren't strong he wouldn't have had to work so hard to manipulate you.
    You are strong.
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    Wow. So many supportive and thoughtful comments! Sorry sometimes I get really down and this certainly helped <3

    This breakup hit me hard. Thanks again guys xx
  • Brendalea69
    Brendalea69 Posts: 3,863 Member
    edited April 2017
    You're welcome and I hope you have a nice weekend :)
  • blambo61
    blambo61 Posts: 4,372 Member
    Anyone who calls another names like that isn't a friend let alone a significant other! Agree with what others said.
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    I don't tend to go for the sweetest guys.
    They both liked to call me names and when I cried or begged them to stop I get told I'm too sensitive. I actually believed that I get offended easily for quite some time...

    But anyway. I'll try heal now and set better boundaries and keep an eye out next time :)

    I really love the support from all you guys!
  • amflautist
    amflautist Posts: 941 Member
    Yes, and next time, bring the boy here, to sit by my pond with me, and I will tell you if he is a keeper or not. I have LOTS of experience at this. My daughter has brought home the jerks who didn't respect her or care for her, and I could see it, although I never said anything. After all, it's her life, and her decision, isn't it? Well, about a year ago when she was going to ditch a real sweetheart for another jerk, I intervened.

    And yes, breakups are hard. When my first marriage broke up, I cried on the subway for a year. But in the end, I realized the jerk did me a favor. I wasn't strong enough to leave the cheater -- he left me! Nonetheless, it's really hard. I think the hardest is losing your own dreams about the life you want. Not losing the jerk. And so I KNOW from experience that YOUR real keeper is out there somewhere.

    You just need to heal yourself.
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    You're so sweet <3

    Oh I wish I could bring guys by your pond! Unfortunately when the guy starts acting like a jerk, I blame myself - that I've done something wrong... or I hold on to the good parts, which in all honesty there were quite a few good moments. But the insults were destroying me. The comparisons with other people were destroying me.
    And now that I left, I still feel bad.
    maybe him telling me that I'm a quitter didn't really help.

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm doing my best to heal and focus on my fitness journey :)
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    I really appreciate Omad when I get to eat 1200 cals in one go. Feel so full I feel I might burst every night! Split into 6 portions throughout the day is so unsatisfactory
  • Brendalea69
    Brendalea69 Posts: 3,863 Member
    1MADGIRL wrote: »
    I really appreciate Omad when I get to eat 1200 cals in one go. Feel so full I feel I might burst every night! Split into 6 portions throughout the day is so unsatisfactory

    I agree, OMAD Rocks :)
  • blambo61
    blambo61 Posts: 4,372 Member
    I do the same except I can go about 2500 cals in the evening and still lose! I do like that.
  • wsandy8512
    wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897 Member
    1MADGIRL wrote: »
    I really appreciate Omad when I get to eat 1200 cals in one go. Feel so full I feel I might burst every night! Split into 6 portions throughout the day is so unsatisfactory

    Same here! :-)

  • amflautist
    amflautist Posts: 941 Member
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I do the same except I can go about 2500 cals in the evening and still lose! I do like that.

    I really don't want to hear this! I'm ~1200 TDEE.
  • blambo61
    blambo61 Posts: 4,372 Member
    amflautist wrote: »
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I do the same except I can go about 2500 cals in the evening and still lose! I do like that.

    I really don't want to hear this! I'm ~1200 TDEE.

    Are you walking? I get about 300 cal a day for walking, about 700 cals 3 times a week running, and about 300 cals twice a week for lifting. My bmr is about 2200 a day but the other stuff makes tdee about 2700 to 2800 a day. That gives me a lot more room to work with.
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    Hi guys!
    Does anyone know how I can tell if I'm gaining body fat or muscle weight when I gain a few 100 grams on the scale?
  • wsandy8512
    wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897 Member
    edited May 2017
    It takes a lot of heavy lifting to gain muscle, regularly and for a long time. For men, it's like .25 of muscle weight/monthly and for women, even less. If you aren't strength training or just started, it's not going to be muscle. Could be water weight, you may have a pooh forming and in-wait, urine, a small dust bunny on your foot, etc. Fluctuations are normal. I was 205.6 two days ago, and even though my binge yesterday was only 1856 calories, I was up two pounds today. :-/
  • Brendalea69
    Brendalea69 Posts: 3,863 Member
    It's probably just water weight.

    When I have a splurge I can gain 3 or 4 pounds but I know it's not fat and it will go away soon...
  • blambo61
    blambo61 Posts: 4,372 Member
    My experience (as a guy) is that if I haven't lifted for a long time I can gain fast over about 2 months and then it will decrease substantially and the gains will be slow. My skinny teenage boy put on about 20-lbs of muscle in a summer.
  • 1MADGIRL
    1MADGIRL Posts: 838 Member
    Thank you! Been training consistently for just a week so it's probably too early :)

    20lbs in one summer is amazing! wow. I've heard that beginners/people who return to it after a while, get gains quickly :)