if you're the queen of negative self talk, then I must be a multi-universe empress! lol I have extremely low self-esteem, and I hate that I am so badly affected by my perceived view of what people think of me, but my perception of myself and thus how I project my view of myself onto others has been shaped by a lifetime of little hurts that, even if they were not meant to be hurtful or denigrating, was nevertheless how I perceived them, from movies to books to comments made by other folks about me and about other people who were similar to me. I'm harder on myself than what anyone else is, and negative comments, whether they were meant to hurt or were just careless, just re-inforce those negative thoughts. I know that people probably don't even come close to seeing me the way I think they see me, but its so very hard not to project!

Because of this negative self image, I keep to myself mostly, and find it very hard to socialize outside of a keyboard and outside of a work setting - I'll talk to other folks and carry a conversation, but its afterwards when I'm reviewing mentally what I said that I cringe and feel that everything went wrong, that I came across as awkward, weird, and annoying. I wanted to be a wife and mother since I was a little girl, but I'm 37 and have never had romantic prospects at all, and society's message has been to me that that was because I was obese and thus unattractive - no matter how smart or funny or caring I could be.

It's extremely hard to overcome such a mindset; thank you, jewell, for the positive response! It is heartening to know that it CAN be overcome; hopefully, I'll be able to follow you and achieve that for myself!

Okay, so I have taken seven pounds off, but yesterday I felt like my pants were looser in the waist. Taking that as a WIN!! Might have just been my mind playing with me, but it can continue to play with me and make me feel good about myself instead of bad.

OBGYN stuff is so hard for me. I have a terrible fear of them and always cry and often throw up during an exam.
I hope whatever you have going on is an easy fix!

I do know the feeling of getting one thing under control and someone else pops up, that is a specialty of mine lol


I have been a type one diabetic for nearly 30 years now. I am sure the DRs told you this, but it is not a disease to be taken lightly. It literally effects every single part of your body. Going to the cardiologist is just a precaution, so don't worry about it for now. One you are diabetic long enough you tend to see every specialist there is

Visit to the cardiologist was a success. He says my heart is strong and I can proceed to work out as much and as hard as I desire. He did mention that if I lose weight I can reverse my diabetes. I thought that was an interesting statement coming from a cardiologist, but I will be sure to ask my diabetes team next time I see them. New motivator for me, for certain.

Hi all. I’m new to this site. Still trying to figure out how to post and such. I’ve got 225 lbs to lose and the task seems impossible. I’m just going to catch up on some of your posts, then add a bit about myself. But I’m happy to have found you and I’m gonna need your help. Thanks.

Welcome Mushy. Make sure you make some personal connections with people who will help to motivate you and hold you accountable. It is a tough journey, but more enjoyable when you have others walking the path with you.

BTW, my weekend eating was terrible. I didn't eat at proper times, didn't eat proper meals and didn't log well. I feel crappy this morning (not because of guilt, but because of the quality of foods eaten have left me feeling draggy). I didn't sleep well and I am paying the price.

Today is a new day. Goal for the remaining days until I weigh on Friday is to get back on track with logging meals.

I'm with Hla, though I know we are vastly in the minority I like winter just fine and love snow. I find it so relaxing to be in a quiet room of an evening, lights low, with the heater running quietly in the background, snuggled up in a chair with a blanket while the snow softly falls outside my window on a blanket of white across the lawn. I even like the 12+ stuff occasionally, and since I now live in southern WV, we only get those kind of storms occasionally

I can't take the heat - I handle cold much better than heat. Heat saps me of all energy, and humidity makes things even worse; I could never handle the deep south or Gulf Coast!

I actually love all 4 seasons, and am very thankful I live in a location where we get such a variety seasonally. Usually by late July, I'm tired of summer; definitely by mid-August, and longing for the cooler, crisp and clean days of autumn, with frosty mornings and brilliant blue skies, colored leaves on the ground and trees, the flocks of geese heading south in the air, bon fires, and looking forward to end of year holidays and the first snow flurries around the corner. I don't mind it getting colder and moving into winter with cold days and brilliant white fields (when we get them; WV doesn't keep snow on the ground all year long), the warmth of soft sweaters and flannel shirts, and the silence of a snowy night. Christmas just isn't Christmas if its warm and wet (likes its been the last few years )

But by mid-February, I'm starting to get tired of winter and looking for the first signs of spring, and get excited on those mildly warm days, daffodils and tulips and crocus peaking through the snow, the return of the robins and the budding of trees and blooming of flowers, tilling up my gardens, cleaning up the yard - I even enjoy breaking out the lawn mower! I love spring and think it probably edges just a little past autumn as my favorite season.

In fact, summer is my least favorite season. I love the flowers and the warmer weather of early summer, but I absolutely hate the heat and humidity of the late summer, the dust, the bugs, the blast of heat when opening the door of my truck parked in the sun, the sticky truck seats. It might be different if I didn't work all summer long with my job, but really, during late summer, I only enjoy the early mornings and late evenings, when it starts to cool off!

But I know that I'm really the odd person out on that lol

ajewellmom wrote: »

HLaR79 wrote: »

I am ready for the snow to come and blanket the streets, I love early winter where I live where snow is fresh but the air doesn't take your breath away yet.... it gets that cold here sometimes those days suck but November is usually pretty good.

You 'Peggers can keep that snow. Don't send it East because I don't want it. I have been loving our warm Ontario fall and would keep it until May if I could.

What part of ON are you in?

Italian_Buju wrote: »

What part of ON are you in?

I am in Guelph. It it a bit West of Toronto. I am all about the warmth and not a winter fan at all. Today I had to scrape the frost off my car and it made me instantly grumpy.

No need to tell you where Guelph is, then.

Anyone else interested in joining us for a points challenge for November?

Italian_Buju wrote: »

Anyone else interested in joining us for a points challenge for November?

What is a point Challenge ?