I have had a bad relationship with food my whole adult life. It is tough to control the urges. In the past and even some this time I would purge my house of all of the "bad foods" and then ask/tell my wife not to bring any of those foods into the house. If a box of cookies showed up I would get mad at her for buying them while I was eating them. It wasnt her fault, I was definitely projecting. I know what you mean when you say it is tough to eat just one, or a single serving of anything. The only way I have been semi able to control it is like @NovusDies says, to plan for it. If you want something figure out a plan to have some of it. I love takeout pizza, I will figure out how many calories are in a slice, and eat a set amount. I keep dove dark chocolate around for when I get a sweet craving. That is something sweet I have learned how to control my portions with and still be satisfied. What frustrates me personally is how emotional food and eating is. I consider myself a logical calculating person except when it comes to food. Coming to terms with that has helped some, but I still struggle.
As far as the fear of the unknown, I dont think I fear being smaller or losing weight. I fear failing at it again. It is easy to just keep the status quo, eat whatever I want and be the happy fat guy. I have perfected that role. That is one of the reasons now I havent told alot of people I am trying to lose weight. When they ask I will deflect the question or make a joke.

merph518 wrote: »

I definitely fear losing my motivation and gaining the weight back... it happened to me before. I'm going to do my best not to let it happen again.

I can totally relate. As far back as I can remember, I have always carried a lot of excess weight. I can still remember the first time I consciously wanted to lose weight, I was around 25 years old. I ultimately lost about half of my goal, and then just lost my way. The process was just a lot of work, and the results weren’t instant, I was young, plenty of time, and, and.... In the numerous efforts I made to lose weight, the only result I can say I was successful at was ultimately gaining more than I loss. The closest I ever got to my goal was about 100 lbs from my goal, and I felt like a million dollars at the time, I was running 20 minutes and walking 40 minutes 5 times a week, and then I came down with plantar fasciitis, long story.. and then slowly I put it all back and some. I basically quit. Another tremendous effort I had was CICO. I ended up losing around 100 lbs, I end up having gall bladder attacks, gall bladder removal, long story.. and then slowly I put it all back and some. Life has thrown me plenty of curveballs over the years, and I can honestly say none of the diets I have tried in the past or present worked, not because the diets didn’t help me lose weight, but because I always felt deprived or hungry or lacking, or unsuccessful, or something happens. I always lost weight on anything I tried, but I always gained it back, and more, “after quitting.” What’s the definition of insanity again.

Lately, I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out a way to deal with life’s curveballs vs the actual process of losing weight. Instead of being worried about the food, or the exercise, or the ..., I am just focusing on living my life in a more realistic and sustainable way, and being grateful for what life offers me along the way, rather than attempting an all out futile sprint to the finish as I have attempted in the past.

Since starting my latest journey, I have learned that my thoughts and emotions present the biggest challenge to my success. Without the ability to understand them and control how I react to them I would be lost again and again. And still may be... I have learned that overwhelm and perfectionism are very formidable thoughts that I suffer from and constantly work to either just experience them, control them or even correct them to be more positive.

I've never have and would never admit to this to anyone IRL. It'd start a feminist war amongst my friends who'd declare a man to never be the reason to do/not to do something

I'm scared of my husband not wanting to be with me when I get to a normal weight. There's no rational reason for it, we've been together 22 years with me big and small, through many tough times, he's my best friend and I know he lives for making me happy. He's not perfect but he has a good go at it most days.

I wonder if it would be easier if I knew what I'd be like at a normal weight after being obese or above for 18 years. I'm not letting it be a reason for me to stop losing weight but it is in the back of my mind. Crazy eh?

ETA - Just re-read this and wanted to say I don't mean any of this from a physical point of view. I mean how will I be mentally, at a normal weight. I don't think my actual size would be an issue as we'd have been divorced years ago if it was, more me as a person.

Yes, I know there's a skinny girl in me and she is a nice person It's going from too long chilling on the sofa with chips & dips to what time does the gym close. Ideally, I'd like him to be with me but I can't expect it.

Love this thread! I got so much out of all your replies and I don't know where to start replying. My biggest fear is never being able to eat foods I like again so when I do purchase chocolate (my favorite) I have to eat all of what I buy and telling myself I have to eat it all right now so I can start fresh again tomorrow. I know I can fit chocolate in my plan but I guess I'm not at a place
Where I can buy stuff and have it last. Also, when upset or stressed, etc I will go to the store and buy my big bag of chocolate, because at that moment I don't care what I'm eating. Thanks for reading me rambling on! Lol Maybe deep inside me it is a fear of getting too skinny and being a different person?

I’ve started getting my chocolate fix by mixing 16g of Nutella and 16g of natural peanut butter. It’s a little less calories than a full serving of peanut butter at the same serving size, but it tastes kind of like a Reese’s. I add it to my Greek yogurt and enjoy it everyday as part of my lunch. I found that because I know that I can have it daily that I don’t binge on it and I’ve easily passed by all the candy.

papayahed wrote: »

My sugar has been really good for the last few months. I'm going to go off metformin for a week to see what happens (No, I did not consult my Dr). My biggest worry is the sugar cravings will come back. I know I can always pop a pill an I should be ok, but I think I made candy into this giant monster I'm afraid of.

I assume you have a test kit to keep tabs on yourself. My preference would be that you at least call the Dr. office and inform them of your plan but you probably know the risks.

On the sugar front I suggest going into the experiment as confident as you can about that part.

papayahed wrote: »

NovusDies wrote: »

papayahed wrote: »

My sugar has been really good for the last few months. I'm going to go off metformin for a week to see what happens (No, I did not consult my Dr). My biggest worry is the sugar cravings will come back. I know I can always pop a pill an I should be ok, but I think I made candy into this giant monster I'm afraid of.

I assume you have a test kit to keep tabs on yourself. My preference would be that you at least call the Dr. office and inform them of your plan but you probably know the risks.

On the sugar front I suggest going into the experiment as confident as you can about that part.

My Dr reviewed my blood sugar numbers over the past few weeks and told me I could stay off my meds as long as my blood work came back normal. Now to impatiently wait for my bloodwork.

Fingers crossed.

Also waiting on blood test results. I have a doctors appt this week. Hoping I come off the cholesterol med once and for all. I have worked my rear off getting cardio in each and every day in hopes that is the final key.

I'm not exactly sure this is where to ask this, but I'll do it anyway. At what point should I re-evaluate my goals and slow down my weight loss? I know that if you have a lot to lose, 2 lbs/wk is a perfectly fine rate to set, but I also know that the less you have to lose, the slower you need to go about it. I start with 200+ lbs to get off; I'm down to 100 or less - 100 lbs if I choose to try to get into BMI healthy range; 90 lbs to get into my pipe-dream weight range. Is the recommend 1% of your current body weight, or 1% of your goal weight?

I put this here because it is a fear of mine - 2 lbs/wk is a noticeable loss, and I have enough trouble with water weight retention masking my efforts; plus, 2 lbs/wk gives me slop room. Tightening up to 1 lb/wk is a scary thought because water weight will mask those results much easier, and I have to tighten up my logging and be much more precise. That part is a big fear of mine, especially since I plateaued for so long and am just now finally really getting going again.