Well, my weigh in is tomorrow and I hope I lose something! I've done pretty good with my WW points and my calories, went over some yesterday, but then I got sick last night and threw up 6 times...And so far I haven't eaten much today at all, so hopefully that will all help me to have a loss! If I do have a loss, it will be a 3 week streak for losses! I think I need to see my Dr. Soon because I'm having a real hard time with GERD lately, don't think the two medications I'm on for it now are really helping much anymore.

My eyes are still bothering me a lot so I really hope I can get in to see the eye Dr. Sooner than when my appointment is scheduled for.

Frazier ACTUALLY messaged me last night! The conversation went HORRIBLY BAD and I ended up crying and cutting myself again...😔 My plan now is to stay calm and only text him in the morning, saying, "Morning. Hope you have a good day." And then again at night, saying, "Hope you had a good day, goodnight." No texts throughout the day...UNLESS he engages first then I will reply. I think this way he will see that I still care about him, I'm showing interest and I'm not acting crazy, so maybe he will talk to me more. It's all a waiting game I guess.

EVERYONE is telling me to get over him and forget about him because he is really bad for me and he tries to make me seem like the crazy one when he has done his fair share of crappy things to me too! But I always end up taking the blame and letting him off the hook for everything.

I was thinking...I blame myself a lot for being the way that I am towards Frazier, obsessive, loving, crazy, etc. BUT, I also feel the need to put some of the blame on him, here's why! He'd always flirt with me, even when I wouldn't flirt back or even when I refused to flirt back, he always talked about how we'd have sex a second time and that it would be better than the first time...(First time was rape) Not too long ago, on the phone, he kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas and HE then kept saying he was going to get me an engagement ring...(WHO says that to a person if they don't want them to have feelings for them or to like or love them??) He's always asking for pictures. AND I can't believe he said that part about needing his permission to send him a letter, REALLY!?! WHO in the world needs to ask permission to send someone a letter...What about a Birthday or Christmas card!?! HE'S the one that kept asking me over the phone what I WAS going to get him for Christmas, WELL, HOW else would I get it to him if I didn't send it in the damn mail!??! That part really irritated me! Anyway, I'm sure there's more that he's done to lead me on and make me feel this way about him, so I really don't think I should take full blame here, but I'm ALWAYS extra hard on myself so blah! I guess the plan for now is to message him in the mornings, saying, "Morning. Hope you have a good day." Then at night, I will say, "Hope you had a good day, goodnight." Won't bother him or say anything else throughout the day UNLESS he says something first...This will show him that I am being caring and also not acting crazy anymore or whatever, so we'll see how it goes...🙄

Wish I could share me and his conversation here, might make you guys sick for the things that he said to me! At least everyone else that I shared it with, thought so!

Love you all!
Cassie

Ack... lost track of the time my Fitbit was on the charger until I sat down to check in with you all... oh the steps I've missed LOL

@Cafelelia and @sleepymom5 thanks for the holiday tips! Good things to keep in mind. A special thanks for everything you do for this team. Your efforts don't go unnoticed. Hugs/xoxo
@mrsbell8well hope you feel better very soon!

Its been unusually warm here and most of the snow has melted. So strange to not have a white Christmas in Montana. However, ice is a huge problem unfortunately.

Check in for Friday:
Exercise: 90 minute yoga class
Water: OK
Food: not good... snacked ALOT while cooking dinner

Took the dogs for a 6 mile hike this morning. We have mild weather predicted all week so I'm looking forward to being able to exercise outside this late in December. Hubby was working on the barn in short sleeves... crazy. I am ready for Christmas.... we aren't going anywhere for a change. I'm so used to the hustle and bustle, hassle and headache, loading up, packing and traveling for the holidays but with hubby working most of the year in Pennsylvania, he doesn't want to go anywhere now that he's home for who knows how long. Different but OK with me. My menu is planned for the week with some healthy things, some indulgences.

Wishing everyone a nice weekend.

Friday 12/21 check in
Food: I am doing ok but then eating chocolate...
Water: 64 oz
Exercise: PT and stretching.

I was tired and hungry all day and resisted but then ate junk at night. I don't want to gain during the holidays because I am eating chocolate in my house. I didn't get to workout either but I did get a ton done yesterday so I am happy with that. Today all I have to do is wrap presents so I am going to get my workout in, shower, put on something festive and wrap gifts. The house really looks so pretty so I want to enjoy it without feeling so overwhelmed. Hope everyone is finishing up and able to enjoy too.

@kirsten11872 . I know the weigh in isn't what you wanted but you are still down 2lbs from your 1st weeks weigh in. Try to plan out the rest of your days and see what you can do to stay on plan. I know that it is hard, especially being a Mom and having so much to do. Hugs!
@CassieGetsFit2013 Hope you have a good weigh in but being sick isn't a good way to get it. I hope you have been doing well with your calories and WW points.
@twyla77 Lol! I have trouble with that too!
@nstephenson01 I can feel your pain with the fitbit being on the charger all day Lol! I have done that myself. Your hikes and exercise is amazing! I am glad that it isn't too cold to get out go hiking. I know the dogs love it too. I remember it being so cold and snowy when Phase 1 of the project was going on last year. I am sure your husband is happy for the warmer weather too. I am happy you included some indulgences in your plan this week. Your plan does need to be realistic so it is important to include them.
@Cafelelia I like the idea of a 2020 journal. This past week was a little crazier than normal and I feel badly that I wasn't an active participant in this challenge. I am going to do what I missed now since things have slowed down.

Saturday check in

Food - not logged & oh my
Exercise - 5 k steps
Water 1.5 l

Yesterday was peak busy with Christmas prep, visitors in the afternoon & a late night hockey game across town with my older boy. I did not log which is rare for me. My food was a croissant, an orange slice, French fries & a glass of wine, coffee, water. Probably within calories but one of my worst food days of the year. Today is already a better day. Santa came early this morning for kiddies. It is touching how my 13 year old has played along for several years about Santa. I am packing up everyone today, doing some laundry & cleaning and hope to be done by supper time. I feel like I am near the finish line of a race and I am managing to complete it while not feeling great. I will be posting a little less this week & May not be able to respond to everyone each day.

Happy Sunday everyone!

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10776263/january-2020-registrations#latest

Feeling better but my back is out from sleeping so much. I woke at 3:30 am took a bath, washed and curled my hair, did my yoga very difficult with a kinked back. Been lazy all morning. Thought I was going to do some cooking and baking but still out of it. Watching hallmark movie. I’m eating weird things Molly bought for me to eat. Their vegan but as Molly advised sometimes its best not to read the labels right now.
More later.

@CassieGetsFit2013 - You are welcome here and this is not about you screwing up. Please feel free to direct message me or Pam if you would like to talk further. You should be very proud of your achievements and we are proud of you too. This is your choice of course, but Pam and I are here to discuss with you if you want via messaging.

@CassieGetsFit2013 We all support you in your trials of life, most of us have come through hard times. Know that you are not alone in this. Please get help when you need to and come back here to let us know if we can help.

Check in for Saturday
Food: Didn’t log, more snacking and liquid calories than I should
Water OK but I’m sore from yoga and my chiropractor appt so focusing on increasing it today and the coming week
Exercise & steps: 6 mile hike; 18,292 steps even with forgetting my Fitbit on the charger for over an hour

Congrats team for coming in second place!! Very impressive considering we’re knee deep in holiday activities. Great work @amytriesww, @Freeglerock & @phoebe112476

Sunday 12/22 check in
Food: logged but over
Water: 64 oz
Exercise: none

I don't have to work tonight but still ended up sleeping this afternoon anyway. Guess I'm still catching up on sleep. I had planned on going to the gym after church this morning but was tired so I ended up going home to sleep. Then the day got away from me. I did well on food until I got into the goodie tin my neighbor brought over. Oh well. They were very good. It's definitely harder to stay on track during Christmas time. Since I won't be sleeping tomorrow morning, I plan on going to a class at my gym.

@sleepymom5
Yes, possibly when I sleep well I move around less. The chiropractor and I talked about that too, he said that's a possibility. Usually, the more I move around after getting up on those days, the soreness goes away.

I live alone and do spend quite a bit of time by myself. It's nice to be around people doing things, so I try to keep myself busy.

Sunday 12/22 check in
Food: didn't log but on track
Water: 64 oz
Exercise: 30 min stationary bike, PT, stretching and strength

Good day for the most part yesterday. My only issue was that I want to have chocolate at night. Last night my husband went to see if there were any packages outside and a neighbor left a big box of chocolates. I had 2. They weren't even the kinds I like. If I want to indulge, I wan't to make it worth it and they weren't worth it. I didn't log but had a normal day with no snacking until then so I am pretty sure I was ok with the calories. I did not want to exercise yesterday at all. I kept trying to talk myself out of being on the bike. First I promised to stay on 15 min, then 20 (for some reason I have in my head only 20 min is ok for cardio lol!) then when I was on 20 I said I might as well go for 30 Lol! At least I stayed on. Today I plan to do the same. I am not sure if the following two days I will be able to exercise so I want to be sure to get it in today. I still have a lot of wrapping to do and we need to go food shopping. If my husband agrees to go by himself, I am going to let him. Ok...got to get going! Let's have an awesome Holiday week!

@tryingagain5 It is a hard time of year to stay on track. I think it is smart to plan for some goodies. For some of us (me included) it is unrealistic not to have them on our plan. Maybe portion out what you were given instead of sitting down with the whole tin, bag, box or whatever. Also plan it over a couple of days. I am not sure how long you have been at this but I am sure you remember Christmases that the whole month of December was a loss. I always had a huge gain at the end of the month. Now you are still eating healthy for a majority of the time and exercising. This holiday season is going to be a good one for you!

@twyla77 It is a hard time of year. It is fine to indulge but try to make a plan and try to limit what you have. You don't have to be restrictive but just don't eat/drink mindlessly. You got this!

Ok Ladies...we are in crunch time! How is everyone doing? We have shared some holiday tips for staying healthy through the holidays but not too much about stress. This can be a stressful time of year and stress can lead to overeating. Below are some tips for managing holiday stress. Also, remember you aren't responsible for everyone enjoying the holidays. That is on the individual. I am getting better with this but it is hard not to want everything to be perfect.

I will put your new member on the Support Team for now, and move them up to the regular team in January. Tally ho!