I always wore a dress on 1st dates.. the only time I didn't was with FL and only because we went out a bit later in the evening and for drinks/ pool.
I feel the guys appreciated it but I'm girly all the time so I enjoy it.

I still pick out my outfits very carefully (except now that our dates consist of moving crap to my new place) for dates with my Smiley. He loves me in heels, dresses, etc.

But yeah, there are women that hate dresses/ heels.. there's other ways of looking sexy like nice dressy jeans and a cute top. The point is, guys like women to be feminine. Femininity doesn't equal dresses and heels though. Be creative!

God I love dresses and heels. I got a new hot short dress for my b-day party and tonight I'm going to go look for some hot pink sexy shoes!!!

Okay back to topic.. I get distracted easily when it comes to clothes.

My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.

I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:

Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.

Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.

Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.

Anyways Ill leave it there for now..

Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:

Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.

Job done:laugh:

Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!

Confidence is key... but at the same time, don't be so confident you can't show emotion. For example, Smiley was confident but the boy couldn't stop blushing. It freaking melted me. Still makes me smile remembering that. There was this one guy I went out with who "seemed" confident but couldn't even look at me, he was so nervous. On the 2nd date he told me he soo nervous and attracted to me blah blah. But come on, can't look at my face, really???

Jokes are awesome for me. If you can make me laugh, you're already a bit there, especially if your sarcastic.. but not all women like this so you have to get a feel for it first. I have a dark sense of humor so a lot of offensive stuff makes me laugh.

You're right on with the compliments. Too raunchy= no good. Too many= I'm thinking you're a smooth talker who's trying to smooth talk his way into my dress. A simple "I love your smile" goes a long way. (Smiley said this to me)

GOD I CAN'T STOP BRAGGING ABOUT HIM.

The questions thing. YES YES YES. Ask me about whatever story I just shared. Ask me about my profile (if it's online), ask about my hobby, whatever.. show interest in ME... not just interest in a date.



For ladies I say:

Smile. I know how scary the 1st dates are. I would always have a pukey feeling right before.. and pretty much had anxiety attacks on the day of my date with Smiley but smiling goes a long way. It shows you're pleasant, happy, having a good time.

Dress to impress. Whatever that means to YOU. Bring it. Something you feel confident and sexy in. For me, it was dresses and heels with my hair curled and a bit of make up. For you it could be different but the point is, feel confident in whatever you're in.

Ask questions too. Get in the conversation. Don't expect him to be the only one talking.

What Allan said is good. Be polite to the waitstaff. Also don't forget to thank him for dinner/ drinks whatever if he paid. I sometimes would forget (because I was nervous) and so I'd send a thank you text later on.

I always ended my good 1st dates with hugs (except with Smiley).

Have a good time. Live in the moment.





Fun stuff!!!

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.

If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!

Well, lots of women love shoes, so it's not that hard to buy a few extra pairs.
Also they have on average a superior attention to detail to most men: dirty shoes, spot of facial hairs you missed (not shaved) under your nose or chin, etc. They will notice a lot of annoying things.

Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.

wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...

This is totally true. You can wear something nice and casual. Jeans/trainers/skirts/... everything exist in "fashion" and "practical" versions.
Always go for "fashion" though on dates. "Practical" is good for painting your house or doing your garden but it doesn't impress.

FASHION


PRACTICAL

I usually greet my date with a hug, I just let them know I'm a hugger and they don't have a choice. If it's a blind date, maybe a handshake is fine, but if you're met them before or have been emailing for a while I feel like I know them well enough for a hug. Just don't linger or be creepy about it.

This is a lot more important than "the girl should accept that I hug her because I'm like that!" (I personally kiss the girl on both chicks). What you are doing is implanting in the mind of the girl the fact that you are a "touching" person (not sure what the exact word would be).
If she doesn't refuse upfront (which she shouldn't because she want to appear cool for the date - she never knows what might happen, you might be the love of her life!), then she legitimately cannot refuse more physical contact later down the road. So you can bring her to the bar holding her back, pat her on the shoulder when you made a "nasty" joke while apologizing,... etc. and it won't feel awkward because you've already established the first physical contact way before (and she won't think you're a perv, this is just the way you are: a "touching" person).
I swear this is one of the most important tips this one. And it is compulsory for kissing on the first date! You CANNOT dive in for a kiss if you haven't escalated the physical contact with the girl (well you can, but it is difficult).

The other important tip is the one mentioned by natx that you should talk to the girl about her. Boring, I know, but that's how it is... Although I genuinely enjoy listening to people, and don't like to talk too much about myself so that works for me.
The way to do this is:
- Don't just ask questions but instead...
- Relate, relate, relate. Try to put yourself in her shoes, ask questions about how what she is telling you went, how did she feel about it etc. Don't simply reply: "Oh! Yeah, I've done better I've done X!". You're not here to impress, you're here to relate.

I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.

The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol

Jeans can be sexy. Although, it really depends on the overall outfit. On average a skirt is still sexier, and a lot of men are "leg" men (not @ss or boobs). A good jean is better than a bad skirt. But a good skirt is better than a good jean IMPO.

(I prefer skirts and tops to dress personally)
I think there is not one answer here, just dress with what you feel comfortable wearing and hope that you guys share the same taste (but you will look relaxed AND good in what you like to wear, so the whole "men/women should dress with X" is bollocks - just dress attentively, to impress and in what you wear "naturally"/relaxed).

I've seen this before, where have I seen it?

Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.

My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:

Good thing I do

Alot of these tips are good to keep in mind, but interesting how the smallest thing is perceived differently from person to person.....especiallly it seems how to dress....I just dress so I feel confident and that I feel i look good, and then of course the activity and the weather influences what to wear

guys seem to have it much tougher than the lady..........who would have thought?

Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.

Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...

I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.

That's the whole point of having an open forum like this, so people TRY to understand the POV of someone else. Dont take it personally, everyone is different and sometimes words are misread and misconstrued. :flowerforyou:

Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.

Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...

I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.

That's the whole point of having an open forum like this, so people TRY to understand the POV of someone else. Dont take it personally, everyone is different and sometimes words are misread and misconstrued. :flowerforyou:

Yes, but it's better when people don't come across as "I'm right, you're wrong" like they have been. Maybe I'm just way overly tired (I haven't slept well in like a week), since that usually makes me kinda *****y.

yeah, a different time, a different day, a different mood, we can all read posts in a different way. Like I said, its just a forum with a variety of opinions. Some people more tactful than others. Some more dogmatic, or self rightous. A good mix I think? Just as long as you dont take things personally, its a great forum. I've learnt a lot from being here. Hope you get some rest soon :flowerforyou:

Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.

My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:

Good thing I do

Kudos to you :flowerforyou:

Hmm... Really?
Dating tips =/= boyfriend tips

It's compulsory to do this at the dating stage for a guy, but at the boyfriend stage this is a completely different ball game. You technically don't have to do this anymore, since you've generated enough attraction with the girl (so she will be grumpy, but will still want to see you).
Harsh to hear, I know... but true.

"Make her feel important and that you care."
They are just tricks that allow a man to make a woman feel important, which she might (or not) be in the man's eye.
I died a little inside when I read your post...
I'd hope at the boyfriend stage I wouldn't be "told off" for not using the "dating arsenal" anymore - we should be beyond this (and also, it can be quite draining with some girls to be in "dating" mode permanently).

"Make her feel important and that you care."
They are just tricks that allow a man to make a woman feel important, which she might (or not) be in the man's eye.
I died a little inside when I read your post...

Guys: Don't pull BS like ^^ !!!!

I was engaged to a guy who always made sure I FELT important but in reality, I wasn't really all that important, and it is one of the worst things you can do to a girl. I promise. In dating, sure there's a polish over everything but be freaking genuine. Don't lie, don't try to cover if you really just aren't feeling it. Don't get someone's hopes up or lead them on.

Okay, off the soap box. Dating tips hmmm... well in response to some earlier posts haha....

1. If a guy shows up in dress shoes he will probably not ever see me again. I'll almost definitely be in a casual dress and sandals (I'm 5'8'' so I avoid heels because guys get weird about it) but I prefer guys who show up in jeans, cowboy boots, and a casual button up shirt to be honest. I love me some country boys

2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.

3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.

4. Along with number 3, don't assume she's a girly girl haha. Actually listen to her... if she starts talking truck engines or automatic rifles don't question your luck just run with it. The conversation will curl back around to more "dainty" subjects, but don't dismiss what she's saying because she's a girl. My friends know the one way to rile me up the fastest is to jokingly say "ssshhhh...men are talking" because they know I'll get mad. Don't worry, there's plenty of girl in me to scream at cockroaches and hide in your shoulder during a scary movie. haha

I'm buying a kilt.

I could pull off a kilt, but damn, when would I wear it? I've thought, St. Paddy's, because people are generally ignorant, and it would be fun to prove it. But otherwise? I'm not a window washer after all.

:drinker:

I've gone commando wearing a kilt onstage before. Probably wasnt a good idea considering the wedding dance scene.