good for you. I need to blow my own horn. Went to a taco buffet. all you can eat......I only ate one:happy: So happy, and proud that I just conversed , ate slow.........wow I thought , look at me I am in control. :blushing: baby steps always. Richie

Glad you are feeling more in control be mod. It is really strong of you to log binges.

Rich, so impressed! Great job!

Buffets are my weakness too (...what isn't a weakness, lol). Buffets are my weakness... a combo of food love and there is a strong "frugal" (to be nice) mentality in my family so I've always had the "I must stuff myself to get my moneys worth" feeling.

Anybody else have that too?

My gosh! Yes! If I go to a buffet, I'm always thinking "Would I really pay that much money for just an egg roll, some green beans and a little rice?" NO. So, guess I'd better go get another plate. Ridiculous.

I would also like to congratulate Richie on his successful trip to the buffet. Way to go

Thanks for your support and for cheering me on you guys. :smooched:

I had another good food day yesterday. What a freaking trigger at 9:30 though! :noway: And now I have to confront her about it, which is embarrasing but I know I have to in order to avoid it in the future and to make her aware of how it affected me. My sister calls to say hello. I'm in bed, all tucked in and relaxed, playing w/ my puzzle magazine, nearly asleep...I shouldn't have even answered the phone. But I did. My sister is well aware of my issues with ED, and she's also well aware that after 9pm is my worst time. I know I can't possibly expect other people to remember this, but for someone so close to me, I feel the need to remind her. I don't blame her. This is my issue. However I need those that are close to me to be more sensitive to my ED issues when they talk to me about treat food they are having and I'm not getting any of after 9pm. She called to say hi on her way home from getting a big old to-go container of Gelato with several flavors in it. Really? You had to tell me that? I know she didn't think anything of it, and until I bring it to her attention she is not even going to realize how it made me felt. And then I feel so stupid for even having to admit that I can't hear about someone else having a treat without it triggering me. I felt so weak. Thank goodness I don't have any treat food around the house right now, because it would have been gone! I tried so hard to just go to sleep, and was able to after a handful of dried cranberries.

(I do have cinnamon hard candies in the cupboard, but I don't really like them that much, so won't eat more than a couple. I bought them on purpose so that I have a little something sweet and not want another). Do y'all have any foods like that? Something you like to keep on hand to curb a craving instead of escalating it? I tried hard mint candy too, but apparently I like those too much.

Last January I had to have a similar conversation with my mother, it was about her giving me large quantities of chocolate in gift form for Xmas. Her intentions were innocent. She knows I would enjoy the stuff. But I didn't want to admit that I'm not strong enough to have an entire 1lb box of super yummy mint meltaways, and thin mints, and some other chocolatey cookie things that were in a coffee basket, in my possession. Not even for one day. I thought, oh I'll just take them to work. Nope, they didn't even make it through the weekend. So to avoid this in the future, I asked my Mom not to buy me sweets as gifts anymore. It was so embarrassing and uncomfortable. But then again, recovery isn't easy.

I have been doing well since I last posted. I have not binged at all and I haven't been eating crap either. Last week, I actually ate very little, but I wasn't restricting. My very close friend's father passed away unexpectedly and between being very sad and being there and helping out the family, I didn't eat much. This week has been good though. The husband & I have been cooking our meals so I've had fish and grilled chicken and salads and I've been having cucumbers and yogurts as snacks.

And I just feel better. I've really been trying to drink more water everyday and I think between that and the not eating crap, my body appreciates it. I'm actually able to wake up in the morning when my alarm goes off instead of snoozing 50 times.

And, I haven't weighed myself this week, but I think I lost some weight. My pants seem a bit bigger around the waist and my gut doesn't seem to stick out as far. Like, my boobs actually may stick out farther than my gut for the first time in years!

My husband's mom is coming in this weekend so I know we will be going out to dinner a lot. But that's ok. I can get something not so healthy as long as I don't bing too.

Congrats on the successes!
I believe I'm actually getting better... just now I was at the grocery store and even though I went with intention to buy a box of magnum ice bars... I came back with a bar of 75% dark chocolate, and ate just one square! I've been working so hard for flat stomach, I'm not going to ruin it every time I get a magnum craving (double caramel is my doom!) Aaand yesterday I knew we were making pizza for dinner, so I ate very lightly the whole day and actually was very little over my cal goal which made me very happy
Keep going, lovelies, we can do it!!

All pre-logged for the day! I have just gotten back into working out. I don't want to ruin my hard work by eating crap just because it's there. I have been reminding myself all week that FOOD IS FUEL. I also joined eMeals, which I highly highly HIGHLY recommend. Basically, you choose a plan based on store and any special dietary considerations (portion control, low fat, low carb, or just regular) and it will create a shopping list and recipes to make for dinner all week. I did the low carb one just because I eat a lot of carbs during the day and for dessert, so I figured I'd save a few at dinner :ohwell: I was so sick of buying all this healthy food and having it go to waste just because I don't have the time/energy to plan anything. I made the most amazing spinach and cheese chicken bake last night, and my fiance could not stop raving about it! It's $5 a month to get a menu for the week. Seems odd to pay to have someone else plan your meals for you, but I am telling you that this is a God-send for me!

Let me tell you, it is VERY empowering to have a plan in place to make sure that all of your healthy food is used up and consumed. I went to bed with a feeling of well-being. I used to stray away from "meal plans" because restrictions and "rules" freak me out and bring out my inner rebel that causes me to binge. But with this plan I was able to cross things off the list that I didn't like. I am making turkey burgers tonight and I can't wait. The recipes are so simple and it's great to have well-balanced meals. Aaaah I just can't say enough about how awesome it is!!!

On Saturday I will be doing the Warrior Dash so I am planning on having an "intuitive eating" day. We will see how that goes! School starts again on May 21. Sorry I haven't been checking in...this past semester was rough, but I managed to get As in both classes. (For those who don't know me, I work full time and am going part-time for a master's in Public Administration). I am proud to say I did NOT gain any weight this past semester, but I know I could lose more. My plan is to eat for 1/2 pound of loss a week and try my best, but no negative self-talk if I have a bad day. I graduate in December and I am giving myself until then to lose 7 pounds. Yes, I am going slow on purpose!!! Habits aren't built in a day, and I am planning on keeping it off for life. I am giving my body a chance to adjust to a "new normal" and it is absolutely wonderful. I mean, I was 200 pounds this time last year!! I am now 157 pounds!! Good grief, I need to give my body time to adjust!

Be well everyone!!! :flowerforyou:

Well, I've gone to the EDI in Fargo, and I'm doing outpatient therapy right now. It's going well. I apologize for being gone so long. It's been a rough few months. anyway, that's my update.

Do you guys ever find that a binge can just keep going for a few days? I seem to do that very frequently

Unfortunately yes, and for me the worse the behavior is, the harder it is to find my way back to healthy. I will binge on any type of food, I don't have specific ones, but it is my preference that they contain a lot of sugar. The feeling of sugar high + fullness = don't have to feel emotions. The higher sugar content binges and my pancreas do not see eye to eye. My body will burn all that refined sugar and just want more and more. So now in addition to binge feelings, my body is working against me because it is lacking satiety. My worst binge time is the evening, specifically after 9pm. I often find that the next morning I'm still craving sugar pretty badly. If I can't find a way to get past that, I will generally continue to eat unhealthily. I have learned lots of strategies to accomplish this over the past 2 yrs, but sometimes no matter what I do I can't shake it off. Practice, practice, practice. If it is a weekend and I don't have to go anywhere I will honestly just go back to bed. I don't binge or crave sugar when I'm asleep, right? But that isn't very healthy either, my body doesn't like to oversleep as much as my brain. I have to work real hard at forcing myself to eat protein, veggies and grains, and NOT sugary stuff (even fruit sometimes can be a trigger for me) to bring my blood sugar back down and to stave off the sugar cravings. Then I can start thinking clearly again and start listening to my body's natural hunger again. This is so hard to do on the weekends. I'm a very structure oriented person (I'm willing to bet we all are), and when it's back to work on Monday the bingeing stops-nearly always. Hate to have to wait until Monday to gain control again, but it makes getting back to work for the week that much better.