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May/June BED Conversation Thread

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  • FollowThatUnicorn
    FollowThatUnicorn Posts: 200 Member
    I'm having a very triggering experience right this second at work. I'm going out for dinner tonight so I have to be careful not to order fried crap or go home and eat crap :(:(:(:(
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Happy Monday! How's everyone doing? How was your weekend? How are you doing with your goals? I'd love to hear from you!

    I'm doing pretty good overall. Had a MUCH better weekend with my ED behavior than I had been lately. My goal for May was to log my food each day no matter what - and so far so good. I've also been keeping track of healthy days vs ED behavior days. I'm in the lead 12 to 8. I'm really focusing on my behavior and not so much the quality of food I'm eating. I'm also trying really hard to be okay with eating what I want and not necessarily what I 'should'. I need to learn how to be okay eating and enjoying treat food without feeling guilty.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Hello Diane!

    Congrats to you on a good weekend!!!

    I had a good weekend too. I had urges but I chewed gum, got busy. Used some good diversions and was all good. I had microwave popcorn Saturday night. the regular movie kind. I just do not care for those 94% ones and like you said that is one thing they really stressed with I was in the eating disorder program is to learn to eat the foods you love in moderation.

    Good job on focusing on eating what you love in moderation. Isn't that what the french do? :smile: :wink:

    Thanks so much for your support because this is helping me get my head back on track and out of the binge zones:laugh:

    Hugs!:heart::heart:

    Please share everyone! It helps to share even if you did not have a good weekend. It helps us to know we are not alone.
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    Pretty good weekend here. I tried to keep busy. Stained my deck and did other chores. It is pretty stressful at work these days. So I need to be careful. I am out of paper products in my home that means going to the store.....which means I have to go to battle with my demons. Today I will stay away from the food isle........I'll check in later and let you know how I do. Have a good day every one. Richie
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I did it:love:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I did it:love:

    Awesome! Thanks for letting us know. :smile:
  • kailauli
    kailauli Posts: 19
    I'm fighting off a binge right now. I will admit that I did already give in somewhat. It's amazing how much calmer I'm feeling by just being on here and typing out this post. Today I was hit with a triple-binge-inducing whammy. Number 1, not eating for almost 5 hours (which always causes me to go crazy at night) and number 2, some emotional "stuff". And finally, number 3, which was eating so many calories in the morning and thinking I would be able to space out the rest during the day. Any one of these three things usually sends me into a binge, so all three at once..... I don't know what to do!!!
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    Kalla, thanks for sharing. for me it is a slow process......baby steps. I feel like each time I make it through a period where I would typically binge I have a victory. Honestly I have seen progress since I have been here. I don't eat the whole box of cookies any more. I still over eat but it is better. And I know this thread is here for me. Mollie and Diane get what we feel about ourselves and the DBED. Hope we can all be mindful of what we eat today. Richie
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Richie, you are so right about baby steps. I agree that doing better than you would have otherwise is a victory. Usually my victories are of this nature. It is very difficult to conquer the BED every day, all day long, especially when some days we are met with possibly a dozen + different instances where we might normally turn to food. And if we give in to trigger #12 we easily forget how well we evaded #1-11. Sometimes it is helpful to just focus on portions of the day instead of the day as a whole. Just being able to get through a few hours is victorious some days.

    kailauli - thank you so much for sharing your experience yesterday with us. I understand completely about going too long without eating. That used to be a really bad habit of mine and it would nearly always set me up for a binge. Now I try really hard to eat something even if I'm not ravenous, because I know what will happen when I do get to that point.

    I hope everyone has a great day! Thank you all so much for being here. It really helps me each and every day to know that I'm not alone.

    Diane :heart:
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    Ok , so am stocking up on the veggies today......picnic time..and omg the food....moderation has to be my theme. Also reminding my self not to eat so little that I feel deprived.....happy medium....sometimes if I feel I was too good I come home and binge.......wacky problem Good thoughts to all of us on this long picnic weekend. Richie
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    It is very difficult to conquer the BED every day, all day long, especially when some days we are met with possibly a dozen + different instances where we might normally turn to food. And if we give in to trigger #12 we easily forget how well we evaded #1-11. Sometimes it is helpful to just focus on portions of the day instead of the day as a whole. Just being able to get through a few hours is victorious some days.

    Diane :heart:

    Thanks for this reminder Diane!:flowerforyou:
  • kailauli
    kailauli Posts: 19
    How has everyone been doing these past few days? I did not so well. I baked some cookies for my boyfriend. I ate half the batch, then I mechanically moved to the chips, then the ice cream bars, then the cheese and crackers. I am proud of stopping myself before it became extremely painful. Actually, my tummy doesn't really hurt much, maybe I am learning to stop myself little bits at a time.

    To be honest, I DON'T have a clue what set me off today. It may have been boredom! My calories are sitting at around 4500 for the day. It's so discouraging to see it.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    How has everyone been doing these past few days? I did not so well. I baked some cookies for my boyfriend. I ate half the batch, then I mechanically moved to the chips, then the ice cream bars, then the cheese and crackers. I am proud of stopping myself before it became extremely painful. Actually, my tummy doesn't really hurt much, maybe I am learning to stop myself little bits at a time.

    To be honest, I DON'T have a clue what set me off today. It may have been boredom! My calories are sitting at around 4500 for the day. It's so discouraging to see it.

    Put it behind you and move forward.. Good job on owning it by logging it. This is probably what stopped you from doing more damage. I know logging helps me stop a bing most times. It is hard to log a binge. So keep doing this and it will help you from continuing to binge.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    I really fought urges to binge last night and yesterday but I made it and I feel good! Usually when I note I have lost a huge amount of weight the urge to reward myself with a FREE day (really a binge day) is my next move. I did splurge yesterday but I did not binge at all. I made it 2 candy bars I had been really wanting and 2 pcs of fried chicken and I told them no biscuit so I would not be tempted to eat it. Thankfully I don't eat a lot of bread anymore.

    I went and stock up on goodies like fruit for this weekend so I have good stuff to munch on. But while out an about the restuarants were calling my name but I resisted because I don't have to reward myself with a food feast for success. I have to find other replacements to reward myself for victories.

    Hope you all are enjoying your weekend!! Check in when you can.
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    great Mollie, you inspire me to keep trying. My nemesis today was icecream sandwiches.....thankgoodness there were only three left or I would have been feeling bad right now. I did pretty well with the picnic thing though. hugs Richie
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Hello everyone!!

    Today is going to be tough for me. I don't even celebrate holidays but they are still tough for me because I am off work and not my normal routine. Yesterday I was fighting urges all evening when I came in from my Sunday worship. I had to be very mindful in order to fight the urges I was having to binge. I overate a bit for sure but I was in point range and I managed not to binge.

    I got up this morning and pre-planned my meals in a effort to not binge today. I can't wait for tomorrow to come which is a normal work day which I have learned to manage well in regards to BED.

    How are you all managing today? Have a good day and remember one day at a time!
  • rabetts
    rabetts Posts: 31
    Hi friends!
    I have actually been doing ok for the past few days. Some overeating, but no real binges. Yay for small victories! Does anyone else get anxious after doing good for awhile? Like you know you're going to fail again, always wondering when it will be? I'm not afraid of success....why do I feel like this?
    Been just trying to stay calm and collected (and busy). I'm glad you guys are here to help. Thank you :flowerforyou:
    -Rachel
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Hi friends!
    I have actually been doing ok for the past few days. Some overeating, but no real binges. Yay for small victories! Does anyone else get anxious after doing good for awhile? Like you know you're going to fail again, always wondering when it will be? I'm not afraid of success....why do I feel like this?
    Been just trying to stay calm and collected (and busy). I'm glad you guys are here to help. Thank you :flowerforyou:
    -Rachel

    Welcome Rachel! Yes I think we have all been here before. That is why we do our best to take one day at a time.
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    :flowerforyou: thanks Mollie and Rachel. Have my dinner planned. Going away for a bit and this is always a binge provoker.....gotta fight it though. Last night I ate until my stomach hurt....the whole time thinking I need to stop but didn't......I will check back this afternoon before I repeat the behavior. Richie.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    :flowerforyou: thanks Mollie and Rachel. Have my dinner planned. Going away for a bit and this is always a binge provoker.....gotta fight it though. Last night I ate until my stomach hurt....the whole time thinking I need to stop but didn't......I will check back this afternoon before I repeat the behavior. Richie.
    Hugs Richie!:heart::flowerforyou:
  • kailauli
    kailauli Posts: 19
    Thanks everyone for the great posts! You are all so encouraging to me. Just knowing you guys/girls are out there is SO Helpful. I've said it before, but it's true.

    So here is my story for today. It was my mother's birthday, so I brought a cake over. I told myself I wouldn't eat any. Then of course I ate almost my entire day's worth of calories in cake. Later, when I got home my boyfriend had cooked chicken baked in EVOO, and a salad on the side. Not bad, but mentally when I feel like "'I've already done myself in for the day", it's really hard to stop. I decided at some point to go crazy eating since I was already over my calorie limit. I was able to stop myself after 5 peanut butter cookies, about 1/2 cup of salad dressing (with a smidgen of lettuce), and about a cup of raw almonds. Now normally my binges consist of ALL the cookies, ALL the ice cream, the chips, crackers, dry cereal, and literally, everything in sight.

    I think the difference this time was I thought of all you guys here on the forum. Reading the posts helped calm me a little. I walked over to the sink and crushed the rest of the cookies with the garbage disposer. :)
  • rabetts
    rabetts Posts: 31
    You're absolutely right. It's hardest to stop when you're already over your calories. I pat myself on the back even if I had a binge, but did better than I did last time by maybe not eating as much as I normally would, or being able to stop myself. So good job of keeping the damage less than usual. A step in the right direction!
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    Thanks everyone for the great posts! You are all so encouraging to me. Just knowing you guys/girls are out there is SO Helpful. I've said it before, but it's true.

    So here is my story for today. It was my mother's birthday, so I brought a cake over. I told myself I wouldn't eat any. Then of course I ate almost my entire day's worth of calories in cake. Later, when I got home my boyfriend had cooked chicken baked in EVOO, and a salad on the side. Not bad, but mentally when I feel like "'I've already done myself in for the day", it's really hard to stop. I decided at some point to go crazy eating since I was already over my calorie limit. I was able to stop myself after 5 peanut butter cookies, about 1/2 cup of salad dressing (with a smidgen of lettuce), and about a cup of raw almonds. Now normally my binges consist of ALL the cookies, ALL the ice cream, the chips, crackers, dry cereal, and literally, everything in sight.

    I think the difference this time was I thought of all you guys here on the forum. Reading the posts helped calm me a little. I walked over to the sink and crushed the rest of the cookies with the garbage disposer. :)
    Awesome Kaila!!:flowerforyou: My binges are nothing like they used to be either.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,385 Member
    I am not sure if all of you know it or not but there is another BED Group also. If you want some additional support please feel free to join this group also. There was no way to combine the groups so I joined it also and go to both for support. I found below thread very usful to me in May.

    Please join us, see link below for the BED challenge. If you have any questions please let me know.

    Link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/581555-challenging-myself-this-month-who-s-with-me
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    I am not sure if all of you know it or not but there is another BED Group also. If you want some additional support please feel free to join this group also. There was no way to combine the groups so I joined it also and go to both for support. I found below thread very usful to me in May.

    Please join us, see link below for the BED challenge. If you have any questions please let me know.

    Link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/581555-challenging-myself-this-month-who-s-with-me

    I have found the thread helpful as well. Checking in is a good thing. Taking it one day at a time.
  • kailauli
    kailauli Posts: 19
    Hey guys!! I don't know how you all feel about posting links in the thread, but here's one I really want to share. It breaks down the reasons behind our cravings. For example, my weakness is CRUNCHY!!! If I start eating crunchy foods I'll usually have an all out binge. Sugar also sets me off like a gun, I can't stop at one taste or bite. I have to have it all. This website was really helpful for me figuring out the reason behind my cravings.

    Here's the link, http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/47070852.html

    According to this site, crunchy cravings means I want attention or am possible angry with someone. Today after reading the article I counted out 14 almonds, ate them slowly (to try to quiet my crunchy-tooth), and then was done. Didn't even grab another handful! :D
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Hey guys!! I don't know how you all feel about posting links in the thread, but here's one I really want to share. It breaks down the reasons behind our cravings. For example, my weakness is CRUNCHY!!! If I start eating crunchy foods I'll usually have an all out binge. Sugar also sets me off like a gun, I can't stop at one taste or bite. I have to have it all. This website was really helpful for me figuring out the reason behind my cravings.

    Here's the link, http://www.katu.com/amnw/segments/47070852.html

    According to this site, crunchy cravings means I want attention or am possible angry with someone. Today after reading the article I counted out 14 almonds, ate them slowly (to try to quiet my crunchy-tooth), and then was done. Didn't even grab another handful! :D

    Thanks. Interesting. I am a sweet craver, but could identify with all 5 of their headings. I also am someone who craves chewy food (sweet or not), I wonder what they'd say about that.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    I am feeling back on track this week after a few not so good weeks. It feels so good to be in control.

    Throughout the past 2+ yrs that I've been on the healthy track I have had many ups and downs. MANY. Days, weeks, even months that have been good, and days, weeks and months that haven't. When I'm struggling it feels so helpless like I'm never going to get better - but then it does. I am glad I haven't given up.
  • kailauli
    kailauli Posts: 19
    Well, I blew it. The worst part is I knew it was gonna happen. This morning I left the house knowing I wouldn't have access to food all day. It actually caused a morning binge until I was forced to leave. As soon as I got home I fell snout first into a binge, and then my boyfriend ordered pizza. I felt helpless to my binge. Tummy ache :(


    How are you all feeling? What is everyone planning on doing this weekend?
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    pressure and unknown expectations were my downfall this week. tried to get back on board several times poor planning did me in. I have to remember to pack my lunch, have my meals planned ahead.....otherwise.....I am in trouble. Today I have someone coming over to help with housework.....she "borrowed" some money from me and paid me back with a bad check.....stressful to call her and arrange this barter. Also it is awkward........anyhow you guys know the routine ....it makes me want to squelch any emotional discomfort down with food. Hope I will be gracious and kind. richie
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