Job Snob
SouthernSweetie74
Posts: 844
Does it matter to you what the person you date does for a living? Do you care how much money they make?
Would you go out with someone unemployed or who was unhappy with their job?
I'm not a materialistic person, and I don't necessarily care how much money someone makes as long as he is stable and can take care of his business. Personally, I would NOT date a man who is unemployed or terribly unhappy with his job (with no plans to improve the situation but to whine and complain:grumble: ).
I think I'm a job snob. :huh:
And maybe I shouldn't be this way...
I am a teacher. Not a lot of money in teaching. I never expect to be rich, but I'm comfortable. I may not have all the things I want, but my needs are met. I work in the service industry. It's definitely not a glamorous job.
But I do have a college education, and education is important to me. So is striving to do your best, improving yourself, etc.
So, I was talking to this guy. He seemed okay. Then, I found out what he did for a living. And all interest was lost. In my defense, there wasn't a HUGE spark to start with...
Would you go out with someone unemployed or who was unhappy with their job?
I'm not a materialistic person, and I don't necessarily care how much money someone makes as long as he is stable and can take care of his business. Personally, I would NOT date a man who is unemployed or terribly unhappy with his job (with no plans to improve the situation but to whine and complain:grumble: ).
I think I'm a job snob. :huh:
And maybe I shouldn't be this way...
I am a teacher. Not a lot of money in teaching. I never expect to be rich, but I'm comfortable. I may not have all the things I want, but my needs are met. I work in the service industry. It's definitely not a glamorous job.
But I do have a college education, and education is important to me. So is striving to do your best, improving yourself, etc.
So, I was talking to this guy. He seemed okay. Then, I found out what he did for a living. And all interest was lost. In my defense, there wasn't a HUGE spark to start with...
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Replies
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All I got from this is: you are content, but you wouldn't date someone else who is content?0
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What would you have done if he told you her was retired instead?0
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i'm not a job snob at all, i've dated unemployed to women with job titles so long i cant remember lol0
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Just cause I'm curious, what was his job??0
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All I got from this is: you are content, but you wouldn't date someone else who is content?
That's why I came to the boards. To get slapped in the face with my own words.
I guess that is what I said, and maybe to an extent, I meant it. If a guy is content with working for minimum wage at McDonald's, I'm not sure I could date him. He doesn't have to make a lot of money, and I don't care if he works a blue collar or a white collar job, as long as he takes care of his business. But I don't want to date the Waffle House cook.0 -
What would you have done if he told you her was retired instead?
It depends. Retired from what and why? Most of the guys I date are too young to retire unless it's from the military. If it's because of a disability, that brings up a whole other issue.0 -
i'm not a job snob at all, i've dated unemployed to women with job titles so long i cant remember lol
I really think that's awesome!
When I was younger, I dated all sorts... perhaps it's my experience with the unemployed ones that has changed my mind about such things...0 -
All I got from this is: you are content, but you wouldn't date someone else who is content?
That's why I came to the boards. To get slapped in the face with my own words.
I guess that is what I said, and maybe to an extent, I meant it. If a guy is content with working for minimum wage at McDonald's, I'm not sure I could date him. He doesn't have to make a lot of money, and I don't care if he works a blue collar or a white collar job, as long as he takes care of his business. But I don't want to date the Waffle House cook.
So its not the job its more the lack of drive that turns you off. Someone who is content with minimum wage must not want much in life and i can see why you wouldnt want to date...did i get it or did i slap you this time lol0 -
Just cause I'm curious, what was his job??
Waffle House cook0 -
All I got from this is: you are content, but you wouldn't date someone else who is content?
That's why I came to the boards. To get slapped in the face with my own words.
I guess that is what I said, and maybe to an extent, I meant it. If a guy is content with working for minimum wage at McDonald's, I'm not sure I could date him. He doesn't have to make a lot of money, and I don't care if he works a blue collar or a white collar job, as long as he takes care of his business. But I don't want to date the Waffle House cook.
Would you eat at McDonald's or the Waffle House??
Frankly if he works at McDonald's he works for one of the most profitable restraunts in the world.0 -
All I got from this is: you are content, but you wouldn't date someone else who is content?
That's why I came to the boards. To get slapped in the face with my own words.
I guess that is what I said, and maybe to an extent, I meant it. If a guy is content with working for minimum wage at McDonald's, I'm not sure I could date him. He doesn't have to make a lot of money, and I don't care if he works a blue collar or a white collar job, as long as he takes care of his business. But I don't want to date the Waffle House cook.
So its not the job its more the lack of drive that turns you off. Someone who is content with minimum wage must not want much in life and i can see why you wouldnt want to date...did i get it or did i slap you this time lol
BINGO!!! That's it. 0 -
I am not a job snob, but I do want someone with goals. Also someone who is working on their education or has their education.
I just want someone motivated. Oh yeah, beautiful, smart, and having similar interests. Also health conscious.0 -
Would you eat at McDonald's or the Waffle House??
Not by my choice, but, yeah, I've eaten in those places.
And, okay, maybe if he works at McDonald's and has plans to go into management, that's one thing. But if he's happy flipping burgers and has no aspirations for anything else, that's a different story.0 -
It really depends on what the exact issue is.
If it is a person living hand to mouth at 35 years old washing dishes then maybe one should wonder but if he is doing okay,having to be a professional but in a non glamorous blue collar job you are embarrassed to have your friends know about then probably you won`t find a lot of sympathy.0 -
It really depends on what the exact issue is.
If it is a person living hand to mouth at 35 years old washing dishes then maybe one should wonder but if he is doing okay,having to be a professional but in a non glamorous blue collar job you are embarrassed to have your friends know about then probably you won`t find a lot of sympathy.
That's my point. I don't mind if a guy works in a non-glamorous job. That doesn't bother me. I do like a man who has good work ethic. It's the 35 yr old washing dishes that tends to bother me...0 -
I don't care about a guy's job, and I actually prefer more of a "blue collar" style guy myself. The problem is, I make decent money and my standards have gone up over the years. A lot of the guys I'm attracted to are the type that like to "be the man" and cover everything. Well, it's awkward when he asks me where I wanna go out to eat and I know all the places I go to with friends or my son would break his bank. It's also awkward when guys find out how much you make and then they either get intimidated or they switch into "she's a sugar momma" role.
A guy working at waffle house wouldn't necessarily bother me unless I knew the backstory. I'm getting old enough now that I meet guys who have retired from the military with a decent check and are just doing little po-dunk jobs to cover extra expenses/hobbies, get out and meet people, and have no stress of supervision/work to take home. I totally get that!
I want to travel. I want to live comfortably (which doesn't take much!). I want to dress nice (and I do). I do that stuff for myself, and don't need a man to provide. But when I'm looking for a partner to my adventures, he's at least gotta pay his own way.0 -
Well I'm just happy if the guy I see has a job. Both of my exs didnt have jobs the entire time we were together0
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Another thing to add to my example of when a 35 yr old working at waffle house would be understandable...
Maybe the economy hit him hard, he's on his way climbing back up, and this was the only job he could get as a temporary stepping stone to get back on his feet.
Now... if he's like one friend I know: incredibly intelligent but no drive to work at anything than a minimum wage job b/c that's all he needs to cover his chess playing expenses than, yeah, I would have a problem with that too.
But that's not about his job... it's about his drive and his "minimum effort" attitude toward life. There's nothing "wrong" with that kind of attitude, but I'm a "give it 110%" intense kind of gal, and I know I know I won't be able to coexist long with someone who just believes in accomplishing the minimum. Friends, sure. Mates, nope.
And, yes, I've had friends laugh the careers of some of the guys I've gone out with, but the bottom line is I care more about how we work as a team and how I feel around him. I would get two totally different feelings from someone working at Waffle House b/c he never bothers to apply himself and someone who is just there due to circumstance or because the job serves another purpose than just making money.0 -
Now, having said all that... lol... I just wanna add that I wouldn't let his type of job or lack of a job prevent a first or 2nd date. If he asked me out, sure I'd go out with him. But it's all about the backstory and whether or not our desired future lifestyles are compatible.0
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I think it is a good idea to throw all pre-conceived notions out the window right now about jobs/employment. We're living in a once in a lifetime type bad economy right now. The only people who have seen things like what is going on right now are the 85+ year old retirees who remember the Great Depression as children. Dec 2007-present is like nothing since then. The early 2000s recession and the stagflation/economic malaise of the 1970s were walks in the park compared to current conditions.
For example (and this comes from a recent article I found), only a half of those who graduated college since 2006 are now employed full time, according to a recent Rutgers University survey. More college graduates are settling for jobs that in years past would have gone to those without degrees, while people in their 30s are now occupying jobs once taken by recent graduates.
There are a lot of recent college graduates working as baristas at Starbucks, waiting tables or doing some other high school diploma level job.
In short, to me, employment status isn’t a big deal to me. Every situation is individual, and I think we have to dig deeper and get to know the person.0 -
I think it is a good idea to throw all pre-conceived notions out the window right now about jobs/employment. We're living in a once in a lifetime type bad economy right now. The only people who have seen things like what is going on right now are the 85+ year old retirees who remember the Great Depression as children. Dec 2007-present is like nothing since then. The early 2000s recession and the stagflation/economic malaise of the 1970s were walks in the park compared to current conditions.
For example, only a half of those who graduated college since 2006 are now employed full time, according to a recent Rutgers University survey. More college graduates are settling for jobs that in years past would have gone to those without degrees, while people in their 30s are now occupying jobs once taken by recent graduates.
There are a lot of recent college graduates working as baristas at Starbucks, waiting tables or doing some other high school diploma level job.
In short, to me, employment status isn’t a big deal to me. Every situation is individual, and I think we have to dig deeper and get to know the person.
Well put, I don't think you can judge a book by it's cover. I would have more respect for a guy working at McDonald's who is working rather than taking welfare or unemployment than someone who came from money, daddy paid for his education and is a banker or something.0 -
I really appreciate all of your comments and the different perspectives you bring. That's exactly why I posted here. You've all given me something to think about, and, perhaps, I will try not to pass judgment too quickly from now on, and do as Janie says and find out the backstory. Because, really, for me, it is about the drive and determination and work ethic, not about how much money he makes. I'm definitely not looking for someone to take care of me. I've been doing that by myself for a long time... and actually, I made more money than my ex and handled all the finances. 0
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Well put, I don't think you can judge a book by it's cover. I would have more respect for a guy working at McDonald's who is working rather than taking welfare or unemployment than someone who came from money, daddy paid for his education and is a banker or something.
Agreed.0 -
I'm not quite a job snob, but a drive snob. Too much drive over career/house/goals/etc and we will clash and too little and I'll be uninterested. As an example: if the guy was ex-miliatry (just got out) and working at the first job he had (whatever that is) with goals to go somewhere, that would be one thing. If the guy lived at home for the majority of his life, not looking for work, not interacting with anything or if he has a job and no goals what so ever for anything else - that's a completely different thing. I also found it doesn't really work out if the guy wants the whole world everything above and beyond because my own drive isn't that high and so that type of goal tires me out.
I do have assumptions about jobs, but that doesn't hold me back about going on dates and changing my mind. I'm sure a lot of people (especially guys) have assumptions about my job so I can only hope they give me a chance too. :-)0 -
I'm definitely all about motivated goal oriented people. A few weeks ago I posted about how I was turned off by a guy because even though he was my age and finished with school he didn't have clear or realistic goals about what he wanted to do for a career. I'm fine if you work in refrigeration and love it, or at least appreciate it because it pays for the things that do make you happy. And hey, if people can be happy working minimum wage that's -awesome- we NEED people like that in society, people fill all roles... as long as they're happy who am I to judge?
At the point where I expect to be included in someone's life... if what makes you happy doesn't vibe with what makes me happy then it's just not meant to be. That unmotivated smart guy flipping burgers at McDonalds will find someone that is totally fine living that lifestyle, and I'll find someone that wants a bit more adventure and silliness in their life. Neither of us is bad or even better than the other, we're just different and we play different roles in life.0 -
It depends on the circumstances.
I have a friend in her late 50's who has been searching for 2 years for a job. She had one for 20+ years, and then one day the office closed.
My 50 yr SIL came into her job of 15+ years, plant closed.
Another friend who is 62, with 2 Masters Degrees and a Doctorate, is doing customer service via phone.
I came into work after a month off for heart surgery, and we were all advised our office was closeing. We could move 4 hrs away, or take a very nice sev. package. I have been with the co 20 years, no way at 50 I am starting over. I was blessed to be offered a position in the same location in another department.
Scares the crap out of me:sick:
Sooooooo, my answer is "It all depends on the circumstances".0 -
I look at a few things related to job/employment: enjoyment, independent or financially responsible, time,
Those are important to me..I will most likely not end up with a man who makes more than I do..I'm not rich but I do have a well paying career. I like my job, I have passion for it and I want someone who is equally happy when they are spending so much of their time doing that job. Also no workaholics.0 -
I look at a few things related to job/employment: enjoyment, independent or financially responsible, time,
Those are important to me..I will most likely not end up with a man who makes more than I do..I'm not rich but I do have a well paying career. I like my job, I have passion for it and I want someone who is equally happy when they are spending so much of their time doing that job. Also no workaholics.
Well work ethic is something I was raised on. So being a workaholic is a must in the finance field. At least at my level, maybe someday I can just sit around while someone else works their rear end off.0 -
I want a relationship..that takes time to get to know someone..and if they are working 60-70 hours a week..and have a life of their own when does that leave quality time to build things. For me no I won't do it. I was a workaholic last year working in sales for a year and I thought really is this worth it? I couldn't take vacation incase a client wanted to book..I was expected to work all hours and be available constantly. I went back to my lovely pensioned stable 37.5 hour a week job...no commission but excellent salary and benefits and TIME. I'm so happy..now I feel I have time for my lifestyle and dating/relationships. And I have an excellent work ethic. Working too much doesn't mean a person has any stronger work ethic than a person who works regular hours.0
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Don't care as long as he can afford to feed himself, cause I sure can't afford to. Oh yeah, and no military guys. Too many conflicting emotions over that one. I tried it once, didn't like it. Pretty sure he didn't care for my suggestion about defecting to Canada, either.0
This discussion has been closed.