likeahelicopter Member

Gawn tae the gym this morning - huvnae been in yonks, so am pure dreading it. Then a might go tae the Christmas light switch oan wae ma pals, and then I'll dae some hoosework. A lazy Sunday all round, though.

A decided tae dae research oan whit human tastes like. 'Pork' seems tae be the most common answer. Well, all think aboot that next time am huvin a bacon roll fur ma scran.

A wis researching cannibalism yesterday, and some wee Japanese dude cut oaf his boaby in the name of gender equality, cooked it and fed it to folk as a piece of performance art. Bet he's great oan a night oot.

Why no? A bit ae paprika, a bit ae chilli powder, a bit ae salt and pepper... yer set.

My da once went to the Bermuda Triangle cause he heard it was a shortcut tae Magaluf.

Linkin Park? Did I timetravel back to 2003, troops?

Sitting on my *kitten* dain nothing. I wis meant tae be doing housework, but...

Ye huv the same name as me, so if I'm anything to go by, I'm sure yer a complete melt.

Yer da.

Ken whit's an absolute potent tune? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud6sU3AclT4 Actual banger. Ad heedbutt somebody tae this if it came oan in the club.

Gonnae dae a hefty jobby.

My da sells avon.

Here's a gid picture of space, troops.

Only oan a Friday night.

Can I be the obnoxious Scottish uncle that no-one likes?

I heedbutt folk at the weekends tae Vivaldi's Four Seasons. Absolute potent tune. I imagine glassing someone to Holst's Planets suite would be fun anaw.

Very professional.

Run aboot with them baith under yer arms.