psychdlc Member

Way to go!

Put ice, heavy cream, unsweetened cocoa powder, and artificial sweetener in a blender. A very satisfying chocolate milkshake with zero carbs.

I don't know your sister of course, but it's almost certainly a conscious effort to sabotage and control you. In her mind, your success makes her look bad, because she doesn't believe that SHE could do it. Expect her to try to get you to cheat in all sorts of sneaky little ways, so that when you fail, she gets to say 'See?…

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Ask her if she needs you to spot her while she does her kegels.

Bro.

A priest, a rabbi, a rodeo clown and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

Lift with your knees.

I'm saving all these pictures! Thanks!

Harming children always makes me feel good.

I step on the scale at LEAST once a day, first thing in the morning, naked. I only log it when it goes down.

Laziness and gluttony.

I'd love to never see or hear the word 'bro' again.

38.

"Diarrhea logs"? That's kind of a contradiction in terms.

I'd have to try them both before I can make up my mind.

Does this look infected?

Where do babies come from?

The genitals are the most electrically conductive part of the body. For best results, you should sacrifice a goat first.

Capitalization is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Have you tried pulling her hair and calling her a big dummyhead? 'Cause they LOVE that. That'll make her fall in love with you for sure. Oh, and I hear they like ponies. Get her one of those.

Every single morning after going to the bathroom. I only record when it goes down - as long as I know I'm losing.

You should dump your friend immediately. It's the best thing. For her.

Easiest thing in the world. I wrap frozen boneless skinless breasts in foil and toss them in the oven for an hour at 350°. They turn out perfect every time, and you can use them for anything. I save the juice, and use it later for gravy, soup, or whatever.