The friendzone ...
Replies
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So..how does one get a friend with benefits? Do you just tell the guy that you want some, but not a relationship? Serious question.
*pulls out notepad and pen*
0. buy french cigarettes, get your nails done, and dress like a femme fatale.
1. find a guy thats not a douche, and is attractive to you.
2 broach the possibility of coitus without coupling in the gentlest way possible.
3. make time in your diary 5-10 minutes after step two, for the coitus to commence.0 -
This is what my heart wants and I won't be satisfied until I know for sure. Sex is only a new factor in this equation. Like I said, I'm staying realistic. I know there is a chance that I could get hurt. I've actually already resolved that I could be content completely alone. I'm not as young as some of you. I've been married. I've had chaos of all kinds in my life. A lot of it I created for myself. If sex is the most we will ever have between us, that will be a shame, but I've suffered through a lot worse.
I'm willing to take the risk.
i say go get him! All my life i must have come across 1-2 people who were perfect for me in everyway and i have no idea how many decades it will take before the 3rd one come along.He already is attracted to you so you have a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting him than any other girl out there.And it is so worth the heartache.No matter what,atleast in your heart you will know you gave it your best shot.Good luck!0 -
I'm sorry. I thought I was very polite.
You're right. All men are dirty dogs and the only reason that he could possibly have is that he's just not into me. Thanks so much for all of your input. Good night.
You take advice very well..0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=10 -
In my case, I just sort of fell into it a couple times, but it was in my early 20s. The first was a regular at the bar where I worked and the second was a guy I met at a church thing, but he turned out to be a BAD idea. When I tried to cut that one off, I nearly got raped.So..how does one get a friend with benefits? Do you just tell the guy that you want some, but not a relationship? Serious question.
*pulls out notepad and pen*
Oh, and there was one in high school and a couple guys I slept with only once. Except for the rapey one, they were all kind of in love with me, but I wasn't interested.0 -
I think this is right, if he is worth it go for it.This is what my heart wants and I won't be satisfied until I know for sure. Sex is only a new factor in this equation. Like I said, I'm staying realistic. I know there is a chance that I could get hurt. I've actually already resolved that I could be content completely alone. I'm not as young as some of you. I've been married. I've had chaos of all kinds in my life. A lot of it I created for myself. If sex is the most we will ever have between us, that will be a shame, but I've suffered through a lot worse.
I'm willing to take the risk.
i say go get him! All my life i must have come across 1-2 people who were perfect for me in everyway and i have no idea how many decades it will take before the 3rd one come along.He already is attracted to you so you have a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting him than any other girl out there.And it is so worth the heartache.No matter what,atleast in your heart you will know you gave it your best shot.Good luck!
But, and this is a big "BUT", you need to make sure that you put a deadline on this too. By what I mean, tell him how you feel, that you'd like him to change and do A & B before date X because it shouldn't take forever.
If he doesn't, then he doesn't truly want to change for you or even for himself.
Otherwise you'll just end up in this grey area for the rest of your days, and I don't believe for a second that at the moment you are truly available for other men and that you keep your options open as much as you should (given what you have on your plate already).0 -
I think this is right, if he is worth it go for it.This is what my heart wants and I won't be satisfied until I know for sure. Sex is only a new factor in this equation. Like I said, I'm staying realistic. I know there is a chance that I could get hurt. I've actually already resolved that I could be content completely alone. I'm not as young as some of you. I've been married. I've had chaos of all kinds in my life. A lot of it I created for myself. If sex is the most we will ever have between us, that will be a shame, but I've suffered through a lot worse.
I'm willing to take the risk.
i say go get him! All my life i must have come across 1-2 people who were perfect for me in everyway and i have no idea how many decades it will take before the 3rd one come along.He already is attracted to you so you have a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting him than any other girl out there.And it is so worth the heartache.No matter what,atleast in your heart you will know you gave it your best shot.Good luck!
But, and this is a big "BUT", you need to make sure that you put a deadline on this too. By what I mean, tell him how you feel, that you'd like him to change and do A & B before date X because it shouldn't take forever.
If he doesn't, then he doesn't truly want to change for you or even for himself.
Otherwise you'll just end up in this grey area for the rest of your days, and I don't believe for a second that at the moment you are truly available for other men and that you keep your options open as much as you should (given what you have on your plate already).
Thank you. I have no intention of waiting forever. And I may not put myself out there as much as I could. I've been a bit put off by relationships over the years so I'm probably a little more guarded than I used to be. I know this guy well and he knows me pretty well so its easier than finding someone new. But I always felt like this could be something really great, and regretted that we never got the chance to find out. You're right. I have a full-plate as well (or lots of baggage of my own, depending on how you want to look at it). If it doesn't work out, I dust myself off and move on.0 -
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So..how does one get a friend with benefits? Do you just tell the guy that you want some, but not a relationship? Serious question.
*pulls out notepad and pen*
It just happened. Not planned ... just happened.0 -
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." ~Maya Angelou
It might sound too spiritual or hippy-dippy for some of you (and that's fine) but this is one of my favorite quotes because the older I get the more it rings true. If a guy tells you or exhibits that he's got drama and baggage and can't be what you want him to be, believe him!! He knows himself better than you ever will! The sooner you accept this and move on, the better.0 -
Besides, do I really have to be with someone to enjoy life?:huh:
No, not really.
I think a grand total of zero people said that.
Well you just met one. Hope you find what you're looking for.
So... people in this thread try to tell you that he's not going to change his mind, telling you to move on, you don't need him holding you back.
You respond by arguing that you don't need a man in your life?
You just agreed with what they said. Nobody was telling you to stay with him, or that you need him. Kits points out that nobody told you to stay. You respond with sass.
I have to wonder if you're intentionally causing drama, or just not getting it.
Yep, this.
I'm sorry. I thought I was very polite.
You're right. All men are dirty dogs and the only reason that he could possibly have is that he's just not into me. Thanks so much for all of your input. Good night.
Dafuq just happened.0 -
So..how does one get a friend with benefits? Do you just tell the guy that you want some, but not a relationship? Serious question.
*pulls out notepad and pen*
In my case the sex comes first then the its ok were friends conversation starts usually from my end lol0 -
So..how does one get a friend with benefits? Do you just tell the guy that you want some, but not a relationship? Serious question.
*pulls out notepad and pen*
In my case the sex comes first then the its ok were friends conversation starts usually from my end lol
It kinda varies. Usually I make it clear from the get go, sometimes it doesn't occur to me until after we go to pound town.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.0 -
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." ~Maya Angelou
It might sound too spiritual or hippy-dippy for some of you (and that's fine) but this is one of my favorite quotes because the older I get the more it rings true. If a guy tells you or exhibits that he's got drama and baggage and can't be what you want him to be, believe him!! He knows himself better than you ever will! The sooner you accept this and move on, the better.
^^^This. I find it true more and more all the time.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
x1000000000... I am an advocate for FWB situations as many of you know.. However I have never understood this whole men are evil and only want sex and by being a FWB your not getting what you want... Now in some cases thats true if you want more......But then if feelings are involved I would be very uncomfortable with the idea of a FWB ....... A fwb is a FRIEND with benifits some one who you get along well with and the sex is hopefully really good but you don't want to date for whatever reason..It should not be used as a stepping stone into a relationship..... Now I've seen it happen where its been upgraded but that usually happens when both parties catch feelings.......
Stop watching romance movies their bad for you0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.0 -
This is what my heart wants and I won't be satisfied until I know for sure. Sex is only a new factor in this equation. Like I said, I'm staying realistic. I know there is a chance that I could get hurt. I've actually already resolved that I could be content completely alone. I'm not as young as some of you. I've been married. I've had chaos of all kinds in my life. A lot of it I created for myself. If sex is the most we will ever have between us, that will be a shame, but I've suffered through a lot worse.
I'm willing to take the risk.
i say go get him! All my life i must have come across 1-2 people who were perfect for me in everyway and i have no idea how many decades it will take before the 3rd one come along.He already is attracted to you so you have a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting him than any other girl out there.And it is so worth the heartache.No matter what,atleast in your heart you will know you gave it your best shot.Good luck!
Where I am confused is that she says ' I won't be satisfied until I know forsure' but he said he didn't want a relationship - so there you go! you know forsure!0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.
I am not sure, in the case of this thread, that anyone suggests that FWB is manipulative and using of women in the general sense. FWB is mutually agreed upon, etc. Just like you have said.
The point of the thread is that she is hoping he will change and see her more than a FWB and be a boyfriend, but he has matter of factly stated that he isn't interested in a relationship. If she doesn't put her foot down and stand up for herself, and just hope things change she may very well end up feeling manipulated.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.
I am not sure, in the case of this thread, that anyone suggests that FWB is manipulative and using of women in the general sense. FWB is mutually agreed upon, etc. Just like you have said.
The point of the thread is that she is hoping he will change and see her more than a FWB and be a boyfriend, but he has matter of factly stated that he isn't interested in a relationship. If she doesn't put her foot down and stand up for herself, and just hope things change she may very well end up feeling manipulated.
Stand up to what? If he doesn't want a relationship but she does, she has two options. Maintain the status quo or end the FWB relationship and move on. It isn't as if he is doing something wrong or mistreating her.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.
I am not sure, in the case of this thread, that anyone suggests that FWB is manipulative and using of women in the general sense. FWB is mutually agreed upon, etc. Just like you have said.
The point of the thread is that she is hoping he will change and see her more than a FWB and be a boyfriend, but he has matter of factly stated that he isn't interested in a relationship. If she doesn't put her foot down and stand up for herself, and just hope things change she may very well end up feeling manipulated.
Stand up to what? If he doesn't want a relationship but she does, she has two options. Maintain the status quo or end the FWB relationship and move on. It isn't as if he is doing something wrong or mistreating her.
She is hoping he will change... see her differently... I am saying 'stand up for herself' in the sense that she can go to him, tell him she wants a relationship and walk away when (or if) he says no.
Unfortunately from most the opinions of most people in this thread, if she maintains the status quo, and just hopes he changes, she will be sadly disappointed
ETA: no one once said he was doing something wrong or mistreating her. She wants to stick it out and hope he sees her as more, but he has clearly told her he didn't want a relationship. So she can put her foot down on the FWB and say she wants the relationship or stay at the status quo and hope it changes - and probably build resentment.0 -
Gotcha, the way you originally worded it lead me to my previous post.0
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I don't think FWB are to be more than friends, from my experience. My current FWB will never be more than that. I know for sure, what works right now between the two of us wouldn't work in a committed relationship, I just know. He also knows I don't want more and he's ok with that. He is a wonderful man, but not someone I would date.
None of my FWB over the years have become more than that. Most of them are now good friends because we developed a good relationship, but none of them could become boyfriends.
My 0.02 cents :flowerforyou:0 -
This is what my heart wants and I won't be satisfied until I know for sure. Sex is only a new factor in this equation. Like I said, I'm staying realistic. I know there is a chance that I could get hurt. I've actually already resolved that I could be content completely alone. I'm not as young as some of you. I've been married. I've had chaos of all kinds in my life. A lot of it I created for myself. If sex is the most we will ever have between us, that will be a shame, but I've suffered through a lot worse.
I'm willing to take the risk.
i say go get him! All my life i must have come across 1-2 people who were perfect for me in everyway and i have no idea how many decades it will take before the 3rd one come along.He already is attracted to you so you have a MUCH MUCH better chance of getting him than any other girl out there.And it is so worth the heartache.No matter what,atleast in your heart you will know you gave it your best shot.Good luck!
Where I am confused is that she says ' I won't be satisfied until I know forsure' but he said he didn't want a relationship - so there you go! you know forsure!
He didn't say that he didn't want a relationship. He said that he couldn't because of his baggage.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.
I am not sure, in the case of this thread, that anyone suggests that FWB is manipulative and using of women in the general sense. FWB is mutually agreed upon, etc. Just like you have said.
The point of the thread is that she is hoping he will change and see her more than a FWB and be a boyfriend, but he has matter of factly stated that he isn't interested in a relationship. If she doesn't put her foot down and stand up for herself, and just hope things change she may very well end up feeling manipulated.
My friend and I aren't really FWB's ... one night happened on the weekend that was not planned ... just happened ... and we are really good friends ... can turn to each other and can talk to each other about anything but are both very attracted to each other. I see his point because it's not that often someone comes along you can confide it and talk to so comfortably. He doesn't want to screw up what we have because neither one of us can be friends with our ex's and we both know that. He is also sort of seeing someone right now. Him and I have always had horrible timing. He was dating someone when I liked him originally and then I met a guy I was with for 8 months ... he ended up single during this time and I wasn't available, and he started seeing someone a couple of weeks before my ex and I broke up this time. The timing has never been there anyway. I respect him way too much to ever let him be my rebound so I don't want a relationship with him right now ... I love our friendship ... he's the best guy! My question was basically for the future ... that if one day the hands did line up and we were both single at the same time ... could I move out of the friendzone? That was the whole point of this thread but I guess it's my fault for not relaying the whole story. Just wanted a general feeling.0 -
FWB from a man's viewpoint:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2013/04/men-and-friends-with-benefits.html?m=1
I haven't read this but my opinion of most of the stuff that this guy writes is that it's garbage designed to collect money by convincing timid women that all their fears about men are true and as a result you have to really really make the guy prove himself to you.
This whole notion that a guy in a FWB is taking advantage of and using a woman is a bunch of crap. It's a mutually agreed upon voluntary activity. If a woman wants a full blown relationship but settles for sex the guy is not using her. He is not a jerk. It's not his fault he is a better negotiator. If anything, he is being used. She wants a relationship with him and is using sex to get it. That is a manipulative lie. Quite the foundation for a potential serious relationship.
I agree. If someone is delusional and keeps at it thinking that if they just keep the shindig going, he will turn around and see what's been in front of him all along, well it's just insanity on her part and being dishonest with herself. He's thinking he's just getting free poon which is what FWB do. They just use each other for sex, which is fine as long as both truly understand this. I don't think guys are jerks because of it. He assumes he's banging a mature adult who understands the term FWB.
I am not sure, in the case of this thread, that anyone suggests that FWB is manipulative and using of women in the general sense. FWB is mutually agreed upon, etc. Just like you have said.
The point of the thread is that she is hoping he will change and see her more than a FWB and be a boyfriend, but he has matter of factly stated that he isn't interested in a relationship. If she doesn't put her foot down and stand up for herself, and just hope things change she may very well end up feeling manipulated.
My reply was based on Christine's link to the goofball advice doofus guy and her previous comment:Many time someone will make excuses as to why they can't date you, see you, commit to you. "I work a lot." "I'm so busy." "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship." "I want to be single." But if they meet someone they truly like all those excuses are overcome and they suddenly are able to overcome their "fears."
Tell yourself whatever you want to make yourself feel better about it. But I'll echo what everyone else said...he is just using you to get some. If you want more, you deserve better. Either stand up for yourself or find a new guy who will care about you and love you as a lover, not as a friend you have sex with.0 -
My friend and I aren't really FWB's ... one night happened on the weekend that was not planned ... just happened ... and we are really good friends ... can turn to each other and can talk to each other about anything but are both very attracted to each other. I see his point because it's not that often someone comes along you can confide it and talk to so comfortably. He doesn't want to screw up what we have because neither one of us can be friends with our ex's and we both know that. He is also sort of seeing someone right now. Him and I have always had horrible timing. He was dating someone when I liked him originally and then I met a guy I was with for 8 months ... he ended up single during this time and I wasn't available, and he started seeing someone a couple of weeks before my ex and I broke up this time. The timing has never been there anyway. I respect him way too much to ever let him be my rebound so I don't want a relationship with him right now ... I love our friendship ... he's the best guy! My question was basically for the future ... that if one day the hands did line up and we were both single at the same time ... could I move out of the friendzone? That was the whole point of this thread but I guess it's my fault for not relaying the whole story. Just wanted a general feeling.
I know... people hear "I had sex with my friend" and they automatically impose their own ideas of what that means to the situation. But some of the best relationships start out as friends. As another friend has said to me actions speak louder than words. All of my friends that have heard the full story and all the details of why I believe this man has feelings for me tell me to go for it.
But admittedly, if I was on the other end of this computer and was only receiving bits and pieces of the whole, my advice to someone in this situation might be to get out while you can also.
Raige, because we are friends and others haven't seen our private conversations, I will say this. I think you are right to just stay single for now. Enjoy yourself. Let him figure out what he is doing with that relationship. The future is wide open. But don't turn anyone away waiting for him.0 -
My friend and I aren't really FWB's ... one night happened on the weekend that was not planned ... just happened ... and we are really good friends ... can turn to each other and can talk to each other about anything but are both very attracted to each other. I see his point because it's not that often someone comes along you can confide it and talk to so comfortably. He doesn't want to screw up what we have because neither one of us can be friends with our ex's and we both know that. He is also sort of seeing someone right now. Him and I have always had horrible timing. He was dating someone when I liked him originally and then I met a guy I was with for 8 months ... he ended up single during this time and I wasn't available, and he started seeing someone a couple of weeks before my ex and I broke up this time. The timing has never been there anyway. I respect him way too much to ever let him be my rebound so I don't want a relationship with him right now ... I love our friendship ... he's the best guy! My question was basically for the future ... that if one day the hands did line up and we were both single at the same time ... could I move out of the friendzone? That was the whole point of this thread but I guess it's my fault for not relaying the whole story. Just wanted a general feeling.
I know... people hear "I had sex with my friend" and they automatically impose their own ideas of what that means to the situation. But some of the best relationships start out as friends. As another friend has said to me actions speak louder than words. All of my friends that have heard the full story and all the details of why I believe this man has feelings for me tell me to go for it.
But admittedly, if I was on the other end of this computer and was only receiving bits and pieces of the whole, my advice to someone in this situation might be to get out while you can also.
Raige, because we are friends and others haven't seen our private conversations, I will say this. I think you are right to just stay single for now. Enjoy yourself. Let him figure out what he is doing with that relationship. The future is wide open. But don't turn anyone away waiting for him.
If the right guy came along, I would never turn them away. I'm not waiting for him ... him and I will keep hanging out and what happens happens. He's been a good sounding board because he knows both me and my ex so it's been nice to have someone that knows us both to talk to. This is going to be a summer of adventure for me ... a summer of self discovery. Boys mess that up, lol. I'm still not sure I'll be ready to date again anytime soon ... my ex screwed me up pretty bad.
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Not trying to stir the pot here, but I am a little curious about the reasoning behind this. Does his ex think it is okay to have sex with other women, just not date them? I kind of feel like if he really wanted something he would just date you in private and keep it from his ex instead of just calling it a FWB thing. Also the two of you sound like a little more than just friends if you've discussed all of this. Maybe he'll come around but maybe he's just filling a void.Yeah, I do. There is a lot of history behind all this. I've actually posted about him in this group before. There was timing issues and other stuff in the way. Now it's just his own screwed up issues.
Fine, you twisted my arm. He is from a South American culture and raised Catholic and he married an American woman who is crazy and they got divorced (which is against the way he was brought up) and whenever he tries to move on the ex keeps the kids from him.
But I obviously don't know the whole story and it sounds like you've got it figured out for the most part, but I still feel like if he was really into you he would make it work and none of that other stuff would really matter.0 -
Just as a general rule, it's best to not ask for peoples opinions then get p*ssy when they don't validate your own preconceived notions.
You've clearly made up your mind and are convinced that you are the super special one in a million exception. Good luck, and I'm out.
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