Daily check in
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Does it matter how you look
Your appearance and level of health are two different things. You can run no matter your size. Your weight may bother your legs and knees, but the rest of you is up to the challenge.0 -
I guess not but 30+ pounds of pure body fat is a lot to carry for 26.2 miles. It does matter how I look, but the negative impact on my performance is shay matters more.0
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"You know what sucks? Sitting there binging, KNOWING you're binging, KNOWING how crappy you're going to feel, and being completely unable to stop. I mean, you CAN stop. No one is forcing the food into your mouth. But somehow, you can't. Part of you wants to SO bad...but you just can't. That sucks. I hate that feeling :-("
Exactly!!!!!!!!!0 -
It is like you are helpless as your body shovels food into your face mindlessly. No matter if you can stop for a little while that urge, that feeling, that unseen need will always be in the background waiting. It is a scary thing especially if you knew nothing about binge eating, like me. I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing, I just knew I could not stop.
@daniellethesheep you are doing something that not many people in this country can do, let alone carrying extra weight. If I had to run a block my lungs would probably implode, or come shooting out of my mouth begging me to stop. You are an amazing person for even attempting this marathon, you are even more amazing for qualifying for it. That is a huge accomplishment. It is not going to be an easy task, to fight the B.E.D. while training and trying to lose weight, but you are a human, and therefore not perfect, which means you can not beat yourself up all the time. I see what you post, and I see that even when you have a binge, you pick yourself back up and get right back to running. You are so much stronger than most people. Most people slip then fall and decide not to fight to get back up. So remember there are people in this group that are going to help support you, and lift you up when you need it. I personally check this site throughout the day into the night, so please if you feel weak and that urge to binge hits, send me a message, or write a post and I am sure someone will hear you and do their best to help.0 -
You are amazing, Danielle! I've tried running. The best I could do was interval training and I thought I was gonna croak. Keep going as much as your injuries will.
My day was awesome. I walked outside today rather than at the gym. I love actually walking! The sun makes me feel better, and here in southern Virginia, a few things are starting to bkoom-daffodils and forsythia. Makes me feel good! But tired. I was on my feet all day. That 3.2 mile walk exhausted me!
Zero binging. Two days straight. I just have to keep linking these days together.
How are y'all doing?0 -
That's amazing, and it's great what a little sun can do.
I haven't binged since Friday. In my current binging cycle, I wasn't having more than two good days in a row. Yesterday was my third day, and today my fourth. This may he the end of this consistent binging cycle for me, since it's lasted about 2.5 months which is pretty average for me. Then I usually binge majorly once or twice a week for a while, until I find myself in another horrible 5-7 day a week binging cycle. So let's hope this is the end. This time, I'm gonna try and get help for it even if I'm not actively binging most days because I know it's just a matter of time. Also, I could be speaking prematurely, I'm only on day four!0 -
Thanks guys. I don't feel amazing. I feel fat, worthless, and pathetic. Yesterday was bad for me. Did well all day then came home and ate 2 boxes of protein bars. I tell myself that I won't keep food in my room all the time but this is it. This is now a concrete rule. I'll buy a box and keep them in my gym locker and just take one a day. This is ridiculous.0
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I am sorry you are having a rough time lately. How about this you send me the protein bars, and I will mail them back one at at time to you?0
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Haha sure thing
it's just tough because they're so convenient to eat between class or when I don't have time for a meal. But then I get back to my room and blow it. Fought the urges for like an hour before givi in and having "just one" turns into eating everything 0 -
For me protein bars would tear up my stomach, and the taste was reminiscent of wet cardboard, and sand lol. But I know what you mean the more you fight the urge the worse the binge is. Do you eat 3 larger meals a day, or 6 smaller meals throughout the day?0
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3 larger meals and 2 snacks. I actually really enjoy protein bars, and I don't get a ton of protein otherwise as I don't eat meat0
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I am just trying to think of ways to help you. So when you exercise do you eat back any calories from that?0
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I'm just fat and lazy and need to learn some self control. yeah definitely. I burn roughly 1000-1500 from exercise and eat most of it back. My maintenance would be around 3000 so I try to eat around 25000
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I too am lazy lol I pay money every month for a gym membership, and child care for 3 kids and I drive by my gym and wave fondly at it. I should really go back and start working out.0
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Would y'all call people who you love and care about "fat and lazy"? No? Then love and care about yourselves and don't call yourselves those things
Lazy people don't run marathons or learn to be chefs.
My day was wonderful. Busy, but wonderful. It's colder today, but still sunny and gorgeous, so I walked outside. But....my shins are killing me. I can walk an equal distance (3+ miles) on a treadmill with an incline without issue. But " real" walking makes me hurt. Why?
Eating has been OP all day. I've struggled a lot with getting more than 1000 calories a day. MFP wants me at 1400 daily. But for some reason, I find that the closer I get to that, the more anxious I feel. At 1000 or less, I feel "safe". Go too much over, and I guess I am afraid that I will binge? It's crazy what we allow ourselves to believe, isn't it?0 -
It is crazy what we believe. Very interesting about the shins and walking. Although I haven't had any issues with that recently, in the past I've only had shin issues when walking on a treadmill and not "real" walking. I always assumed it was because I put the treadmill on higher incline, whereas normal walking I probably avoid hills haha! Glad to hear you're having a good day!0
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I was so hopeful that I was at the end of this binging cycle, since I hadn't binged since Friday. Well here I am, back it. I'm trying to reel in and stop now. I hate this.
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I know that feeling. What I don't know is how to stop the binge once it begins.0
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I. Am. Literally. Disgusting. I want so bad to be free and beautiful and I was doing so well, then I messed up...again. I know tomorrow will be better. It's not the end of the world. But damn. Can't I just be done with this negative mindlessness already. I feel so trapped and so held back. I know what I want. I know what I want to be. And I can't get there. It's frustrating.0
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I just wanna throw this out there..... I often tell people I am the most negative guy on the planet.... but, I am trying not to be.... I think we all gotta stop every now and again, and compliment ourselves for what we HAVE accomplished... and stop beating ourselves up for what we're !@#$%&? up.
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I really like that quote, much needed
thank you for the positivity 0 -
You have permission to be free and you already are beautiful. You may not realize that you are beautiful, but you are.melrose721 wrote: »I. Am. Literally. Disgusting. I want so bad to be free and beautiful.
Here's what I see in all of our posts: We are all frustrated, scared, and we all share a feeling of hopelessness. How do we get past these things?
I don't know. I think, though, that talking about it with each other will help. Bouncing our thoughts and ideas off one another will help. Admittingvto and facing the problem will help.
Don't give up the fight.
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melrose721 wrote: »I. Am. Literally. Disgusting. I want so bad to be free and beautiful and I was doing so well, then I messed up...again. I know tomorrow will be better. It's not the end of the world. But damn. Can't I just be done with this negative mindlessness already. I feel so trapped and so held back. I know what I want. I know what I want to be. And I can't get there. It's frustrating.
I bet every person here has felt this exact same way. Wondering how it got so out of control. Why can't I stop, then you are so down on yourself, that it triggers another binge, which starts the cycle over again.
The truth is you are not disgusting, and you are beautiful, but for yourself to see you like an outsider does is very hard when you are dealing with any kind of disorder. You get a clouded view of how you really look, for some they think they are much heavier and beat themselves up for it, when in reality they are skinny. Others think they are too skinny when in reality they are overweight.
So you say you know what you want, so tell us what is it that you want? Once you do that talk about it, share it daily, let everyone here know so that we can do everything in our power to help lift you up and support you in whatever capacity we can. You may not be able to get where you want, or be who you want right now, but with support and help I am sure you will get there, it just might take a little longer than you want it to.
But stay strong share your stories, your successes, your failures, because you never know if someone is going through what you are, or if someone has made it through what you are dealing with. This group is filled with people from different backgrounds, and you may find hope and inspiration from one or many of them, or you could be someone's hope and inspiration. So stay strong and know that we are all here for each other, so that one at a time we can all get a little better each day. The night is always darkest before the dawn, but you never know who has a flashlight to lend you.
I am terrible at motivational quotes lol.0 -
I scroll through the message boards, and I see people asking for help on how to gain weight or bulk. I look at myself and think maybe I have just been "bulking" for years. But sadly for me I have no problem gaining weight, my problem is losing it. I look at the people at the gym, or all of my friends growing up, they were all in shape, and had defined abs. I was always pudgy with a gut, even when I was 17 and weighed 120 lbs (that is a whole other story) I was never toned. No matter how active I was, or what I did I never had the same toned body as my friends. Then there was my older brother, we are 13 months apart, but he was always skinny, and muscular. Then when he went to the gym and started working out he had a physique that rivaled Wolverine from the x-men movies, not the first one but the later ones and his solo movies where he was just jacked. So I think I have carried that around with me since my preteen years. I think that may also have something to do with why I let things get so bad. Just something that came to my head just now. My brother also has become a super vegan, gluten free, and looks like a skeleton, where I look like the polar opposite of him. But for the first time I can say that is really does not bother me like it used to. I am taking my own steps, and making progress, although it is not as fast as I would like it to be. But that is also from not going to the gym, or being overly active. I am hibernating during the neverending Illinois winter that will not go away. But that is the next change I make. The change to get back to the gym and see if I can help burn some extra calories.0
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I binged.
Thursdays, we have a "thing". It's called Thursday Crazies. It's a whole crowd of couples. We do a themed potluck. Tonight it's comfort food. I made mashed taters (with real butter, cream cheese, and sour cream) and smothered cake, which is pound cake smothered in fruit and pudding. I HATE this get together. Don't freak out, mweckler, but I hate cooking! And being already stressed, plus having big, painful cuts on both hands, plus did I mention I hate cooking? How am I supposed to not taste the potatoes? Or the components of the cake? And once you start.....
I'm trying to calm down now. I didn't binge as badly as I have in the past. Still, it makes me furious with myself. So stupid of me to fall into this trap. And now, I have to go face a room full of tempting foods and obnoxious, pretentious people
Forgive my Negative Nancy moment, please, Ab. I'll get through this, but dammit! I'd rather stay home & binge watch season 6 of Downton Abbey.0 -
You... Hate... Cooking!!!!!!!!!!! Well you could always hire me to cook for you. Lol0
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You... Hate... Cooking!!!!!!!!!!! Well you could always hire me to cook for you. Lol
Bwahahaha! Just what I need, a chef who specializes in pastries! Nope, no chance of disaster in that plan lol!
After my meltdown on here, I went to dinner and didn't do too badly. Our hostess made raspberry truffles, though. I overindulged. Heck, anybody would have! But you know what? It was one meal. And it can end there. The choice is mine.
I have a plan for today. It includes two hours of "me time" to catch up on the things that I wantto do. It also includes a Downton Abbey season 6 marathon with my daughter. It does not include binging.
Have a great Friday, y'all!
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I actually specialize in soups, and lasagna. But I found out that I was good at pastries as well. Moving on I am glad you recovered and the night did not go that bad for you. I have no idea what a Downton Abbey is, but it sounds British, so enjoy???0
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Yesterday was a good day for me following my binge on Wednesday. I didn't under eat either which I have a habit of doing post binge. Going to make it 2 days in a row today!0
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That's great, keep it up. Try to eat what your MFP calories say, I notice if I under eat I tend to be more prone to a binge the next day.0
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