Daily check in
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Yesterday was bad and today was worse...already wayyyy over my calorie goal. I'm here for another 2 hours then have a break and then go back to work (at library). I'm sure I'll end up eating more while I'm here, even though I just ate like 3000 cal in the last hour. It was so nice to see my weight go down and now I'm sure it's back up/higher than ever.0
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I hate days like that. It's easy to get stuck in the "well I already screwed up, might as well get it out of my system" frame of mind. I definitely struggle with "all or nothing" thinking, which I'm sure is very common among binge eaters. I wish I had amazing advice to give you, just keep at it and keep your head up!0
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Today was probably the worst day ever for me...it's been a long time since I've eaten this much while binging, I'm 10 pounds heavier than I was this morning, and I feel like I'm gonna pass out/super dizzy. I just super exhausted with fighting this.0
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That sounds horrible. What all did you eat? And was there a trigger or just one of those days?0
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Just one of those days. Started with too much Nutella after I ran, then finished the jar (I was hungry and should have eaten something else, but there was no food in my room). Then got to the concession stand, ate a ton of candy (like thousands of calories of Swedish fish/Reese's), soft pretzels, and churros. I work alone and no one buys stuff so I kinda just kept eating...the long run could have contributed but still I'm really disappointed in myself.0
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Well on the upside, at least you did get in quite a bit of exercise and your body could have used (some of) the calories. Off days happen. Realistically, even if today was horrible there's only so much damage you can do in a day. Stay motivated, and keep trying tomorrow. And also, you will probably have tons of energy tomorrow from the sugar today so you'll probably get in a great workout! That's always the benefit of binging for me, ha!0
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Yeah I guess that's a good point. I'm just like mental and physically drained (from running and binging). I'll feel bad tomorrow because I only usually do a light stretching/weight workout to recover from long runs, but I should definitely add some cardio in. Like realistically I only ate enough calories to gain 2 pounds or less (without accounting for exercise) but I know the scale will be much higher tomorrow0
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You probably should take it easy tomorrow if you ran twenty miles today. You deserve to, and your body needs to recover. If you want to make use of the extra energy maybe just do some strength training for your upper body? You said you're training for a marathon, right? I wonder if exercising so much could be triggering more binges. And yes, the scale will definitely be quite a bit higher tomorrow but you'll shed the water weight within a few days. Even if you ate like 7000 calories excess, I still doubt you gained two pounds of fat from it.0
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daniellethesheep, how are you? I hope you're okay. You know what sucks? Sitting there binging, KNOWING you're binging, KNOWING how crappy you're going to feel, and being completely unable to stop. I mean, you CAN stop. No one is forcing the food into your mouth. But somehow, you can't. Part of you wants to SO bad...but you just can't. That sucks. I hate that feeling :-(
My day today has been great. We hit a warm streak, so at 6:30am, I hit the streets for a looooong walk. I can't tell y'all how good it felt! Earbuds in, music blasting (I'm going to be deaf in ten years) just me, the sun, and my thoughts. I'm an introvert. After a weekend of tweens and teens surrounding me, that hour long walk was just what my soul and spirit needed. My eating has been good-I'm on target.
Maybe it's wrong, but when my eating is under control, I feel like my life is manageable. When my eating is out of control, it feels as if my whole life is spiralling out of control. Or maybe I've got it backwards. Deep thoughts from a shallow mind.0 -
I'm doing okay. My weight is still way up from Saturday, and I'm kind of disappointed because I didn't eat enough to gain 5 lbs, yet it's still here...I hope it goes back down tomorrow. I had gained 8 Sunday and it usually goes back down more quickly. I didn't really eat salty *kitten* so idk. Body fat scale says it's all fat. I'm really disgusted with myself. I have 7 weeks to lose 25+ pounds...I'm so embarrassed to even imagine starting a marathon looking like this. I did okay yesterday and today. I had a handful of M&Ms that I didn't need but it only put me ~200 calories over my goal which I guess isn't that bad.0
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Does it matter how you look
Your appearance and level of health are two different things. You can run no matter your size. Your weight may bother your legs and knees, but the rest of you is up to the challenge.0 -
I guess not but 30+ pounds of pure body fat is a lot to carry for 26.2 miles. It does matter how I look, but the negative impact on my performance is shay matters more.0
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"You know what sucks? Sitting there binging, KNOWING you're binging, KNOWING how crappy you're going to feel, and being completely unable to stop. I mean, you CAN stop. No one is forcing the food into your mouth. But somehow, you can't. Part of you wants to SO bad...but you just can't. That sucks. I hate that feeling :-("
Exactly!!!!!!!!!0 -
It is like you are helpless as your body shovels food into your face mindlessly. No matter if you can stop for a little while that urge, that feeling, that unseen need will always be in the background waiting. It is a scary thing especially if you knew nothing about binge eating, like me. I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing, I just knew I could not stop.
@daniellethesheep you are doing something that not many people in this country can do, let alone carrying extra weight. If I had to run a block my lungs would probably implode, or come shooting out of my mouth begging me to stop. You are an amazing person for even attempting this marathon, you are even more amazing for qualifying for it. That is a huge accomplishment. It is not going to be an easy task, to fight the B.E.D. while training and trying to lose weight, but you are a human, and therefore not perfect, which means you can not beat yourself up all the time. I see what you post, and I see that even when you have a binge, you pick yourself back up and get right back to running. You are so much stronger than most people. Most people slip then fall and decide not to fight to get back up. So remember there are people in this group that are going to help support you, and lift you up when you need it. I personally check this site throughout the day into the night, so please if you feel weak and that urge to binge hits, send me a message, or write a post and I am sure someone will hear you and do their best to help.0 -
You are amazing, Danielle! I've tried running. The best I could do was interval training and I thought I was gonna croak. Keep going as much as your injuries will.
My day was awesome. I walked outside today rather than at the gym. I love actually walking! The sun makes me feel better, and here in southern Virginia, a few things are starting to bkoom-daffodils and forsythia. Makes me feel good! But tired. I was on my feet all day. That 3.2 mile walk exhausted me!
Zero binging. Two days straight. I just have to keep linking these days together.
How are y'all doing?0 -
That's amazing, and it's great what a little sun can do.
I haven't binged since Friday. In my current binging cycle, I wasn't having more than two good days in a row. Yesterday was my third day, and today my fourth. This may he the end of this consistent binging cycle for me, since it's lasted about 2.5 months which is pretty average for me. Then I usually binge majorly once or twice a week for a while, until I find myself in another horrible 5-7 day a week binging cycle. So let's hope this is the end. This time, I'm gonna try and get help for it even if I'm not actively binging most days because I know it's just a matter of time. Also, I could be speaking prematurely, I'm only on day four!0 -
Thanks guys. I don't feel amazing. I feel fat, worthless, and pathetic. Yesterday was bad for me. Did well all day then came home and ate 2 boxes of protein bars. I tell myself that I won't keep food in my room all the time but this is it. This is now a concrete rule. I'll buy a box and keep them in my gym locker and just take one a day. This is ridiculous.0
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I am sorry you are having a rough time lately. How about this you send me the protein bars, and I will mail them back one at at time to you?0
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Haha sure thing
it's just tough because they're so convenient to eat between class or when I don't have time for a meal. But then I get back to my room and blow it. Fought the urges for like an hour before givi in and having "just one" turns into eating everything 0 -
For me protein bars would tear up my stomach, and the taste was reminiscent of wet cardboard, and sand lol. But I know what you mean the more you fight the urge the worse the binge is. Do you eat 3 larger meals a day, or 6 smaller meals throughout the day?0
