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Hi Ladies,
How are you all doing? It has been a whirlwind of a week or two over here; mostly positive though! Our family room remodel ( RIP "mancave" LOL) is going well and it is finally starting to take shape, EEK! So excited. The whole remodeling process ( S/o to @Alioth I hear you about the mess driving you crazy) can be filled w/excitement & frustrations when delays occur, but so far so good and the progress so far has me really excited.
So I was joking w/my husband that I wish we were pregnant now bc Toys R Us/Babies R us going bankrupt means sales! We could scoop them up now! HA. For some odd reason he just doesn't see the justification in going to buy stuff for a babe we don't quite have yet
My reply: "That's fine, just gives me more time to save, which means more to spend when the time comes". LOL.
I think we are really both getting excited/nervous/scared/ all of the unknown feelings as my TOM is right around the corner, which means CLOMID! EEK (thanks again for the support on my separate post too, btw).
I hope you all have a great week, the sun is FINALLY shining today, so going to pop outside for a walk on my lunch.
Sending good vibes to all!
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I've had a really rough week... feeling pretty defeated right now.
Little background... I'm an occupational therapist. Previously I worked in mental health and developmental disability for youth and adults, and know I'm in early intervention pediatrics (kiddos 0-5 yrs). Bottom line: I know a thing or two about "typical" development.
I have a 7 year old stepson who I'm growing concerned about. He's got a lot of anxiety and struggles with transitions, attention, and some aspects of learning. I've tried really hard to leave my "OT hat" at the door and not assess or analyze, but his behavior has gotten to the point where I can no longer ignore it. I've brought it up gently to my partner on many occasions but he's in complete denial. He's convinced that the behaviors are "completely normal", "just a phase", "he'll grow out of it", and so on and so forth...
It's putting a huge strain on our relationship and honestly I see it also putting a strain on his relationship with his son. He gets mad at him for things that I honestly don't think he can control - his behaviors are challenging but it's not INTENTIONAL - and my partner doesn't understand that. It also makes me feel like he's not respecting my opinion as a) part of the parental until, and b) as an actual professional in this field. I know I'm not his biological parent and I can't imagine something like this being easy to hear... but I'm really struggling with the wrench his narrow-mindedness is throwing in to our relationship.
I would love some un-biased insight if anyone has something to offer... thanks for listening ladies 0 -
@WifiresGettingFit Good to hear your job is getting easier, and you're getting the hang of it, and your boss doesn't sound to bad either. How's the meal planning going? Oh, the tax files probably got deleted when the IRS randomly decided he was another person with another last name. I don't know how or why. After hours on the phone with them, I couldn't even get them to admit they had made a mistake. Go figure.
The renovations are crawling by slowly. Ceiling has been sheet rocked, most lighting runs are done, walls have been partly patched. Still trying to figure out how to fix some weird issues like uneven walls and bricking up windows. Good news is I got a wood flooring guy to give us an estimate on restoring the original pine. $850ish to fix it. He'll have to rip up some flooring from under where the cabinets are going in order to use them to patch flooring that will be more visible. But it should work. I occasionally flip out over the mess of living like we're camping in our own house, but I'm ok usually. Got another month of it at least.
Weather is finally nice again. I got out for a walk on the trail last night. I was huffing and puffing and having Braxton Hicks, but it still was great. Tonight I got to the gym and did some stationary bike, stretching, and walking. It takes VERY little to get my heart rate up. I'm having a lot of shortness of breath every day due to baby bump squishing my lungs real good now. Haha. But I gotta keep trying. Cellulite on legs becoming gross. And midwife clucked at me over my weight this last appointment. She said I might wanna slow down how much I'm gaining. >.<;
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@RhiannonBecks Good luck with your cycle and clomid! Fingers crossed for you!
@girlalmighty08 I wouldn't call this insight per se but as someone who was on the receiving end of an analysis I didn't ask for or pay for from someone who was a very close friend at the time (we have since grown apart as it became an ongoing problem); my suggestion is to try a difference approach with your partner in an attempt to get his son some help (that doesn't involve you.) The point I guess I'm trying to make is that you have a conflict of interest and you need to be the support to your partner and not his kids therapist.
@Alioth The meal planning is going better, we have cut down on eating out a lot so I'd say it's a win. My job is ever changing so how it was a few weeks ago isn't how it is now. I'm just trying to make the best of it even though i'm seeing some signs that it may not end up being as long term of a job as I originally thought. I'll give it more time though just because the past week has been full of changes so it may end up working out after all - plus I currently just don't have it in me to job search and this job pays well enough that for now, it just seems like it's best to stay. I'm not surprised at all that they wouldn't admit to a mistake.
I'm sure the next month will go fast and hopefully they'll be done with all the renovations by then!
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@WifiresGettingFit Thank you very much for sharing! Like I mentioned it is very hard putting my OT lens aside and trying to be a support, but I see how much his challenges are affecting him and the world around him. I’m hoping that in time he will be come around but I will definitely back off until my partner comes to me seeking some direction. When (and if) that times comes naturally I won’t be involved from a professional standout. The part that’s hard is the child’s mother, and teachers are all nothing the challenges as well, so it’s not just coming from me
I’m sorry to hear you had a similar experience that didn’t end positively.0 -
@RhiannonBecks Can't wait to see pictures of your new family room! I'm sorry you're also suffering through the mess. It should be worth it though, right? And I mean, if you happened to find something really cute and stashed it away for later somewhere he might not find it right away...Your husband sounds very practical though. He's probably right. But I'd still be tempted. Let us know how Clomid goes once you start. Fingers crossed!
@girlalmighty08 That's an awesome field to be in! I have a friend who works in the county school system as an occupational therapist...well, multiple schools. They keep her busy. Anyway, I definitely believe you that you would know a lot about development. Do you think your partner's son's behavior is due to environment or stress or more a chemical thing? Or is he just a bit developmentally delayed? I had to keep up with IEPs when I was a teacher and keep behavioral files on the teens I worked with at the children's home for their psychiatrist to use in their treatment. Do you live with your stepson? I would think that if you lived in the same house, you would have to work something out to where you would be allowed to address his behavior a bit. But if you don't live together, then that does rather limit what input you could have. It's gotta be hard for any father to hear that something might be going on with their kid though. He might never be open to the idea, no matter how you bring it up. There may not be a whole lot you can do, no matter how much you might want to.0 -
@girlalmighty08 You're welcome, if it's not just coming from you then likely your partner just isn't ready to face reality quite yet.
Has a parent/teacher conference ever been done to express concerns? (I imagine it has but just thought I'd throw it out there. While I don't believe "ambushing" him would be a good approach I do think that perhaps everyone expressing their concerns in a neutral environment may help open his eyes a bit.0 -
Hi everyone, just checking in quickly. Things have been happening so fast and I've had no time to log in very much (though I have an app that keeps rogue logging me in so I have a "streak"). We bought the RV, are under contract on a house in VA, and our house is on the market as of yesterday. Here is the listing. I'm kind of obsessed with how the pictures turned out! https://zillow.com/homes/for_sale/918-Kimball-Rd,-Fort-Collins,-CO-80521_rb/?fromHomePage=true&shouldFireSellPageImplicitClaimGA=false&fromHomePageTab=buy
We've been on a cleaning/packing marathon, and the open house is Saturday. Our real estate agent is optimistic that we'll get offers this weekend but I am skeptical, especially since he priced it so much higher than I would have anticipated.
It seems like there is constantly something to stress and worry about right now, but at the same time, everything seems to be falling nicely into place. We haven't actually seen the house we're buying and are buying it based on a facetime tour, but it seems perfect for us. The close date they wanted is precisely when we were planning to move into storage, and we'll be able to to go to my mom's retirement dinner before we come back to CO to set off on our RV adventure. I found a couple of races to register for at the end of our travels so I'll have motivation to run during our summer off and not be a total RV-living sloth.
Kris and I have been having arguments fairly regularly about money and all of this upcoming everything, I think because we haven't really combined finances yet and we're about to have zero income for the summer. I'm panicking because I've never relied on anyone else for paying my basic expenses. Once we close on the house I think we'll be fine but neither of us can really see that far ahead without any offers. Last night we argued all night about what bank and what credit card we're going to combine to use, etc. The transition is going to be hard on us I think but I'm confident that we'll come out a stronger couple on the other side.
Sorry for not replying to anyone. I want to give some advice to you @girlalmighty08 but I have no idea how to navigate that situation! I think Kayla's advice was good, though. Glad to see our pregnant ladies are doing well overall, and I hope @RhiannonBecks is doing well with the Clomid. I've heard it can make women kind of emotional.
Miss you guys!0 -
@pezhed Amanda, the house looks gorgeous! If I lived in that state and had that kind of money in the budget, I'd totally buy it! haha I hope the open house goes well, fingers crossed! I'm sure everything will be fine and you guys will find your new normal once things settle down! So glad you were able to check in, keep us updated! We miss you too!0
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Work has been really stressful lately, I feel like I'm constantly in a training/transitional phase at this place and to say that I am over it is an understatement. I literally can not be bothered to do anything else except try to retain the information that this last batch of training entailed which was a lot more complex than the last and I don't feel like I've been successful in retaining a whole lot so because of this my fitness/health goals have been put on the back burner, not that I was particularly successful with them anyway but I guess at least I have a reason for that now that's more than just being in an F it mode every other day. I still try to make better choices where I can now and I have been exceeding my step goal everyday but stress eating may be happening more often now so I'm not getting anywhere. Surprise, surprise.
On a happier note, it's almost the weekend. How is everyone else doing?0 -
@WifiresGettingFit My goodness! That sounds so stressful. Maybe it's better not to worry about fitness goals so much until work stabilizes and you have some breathing room? Sorry it's been so rough. Are your coworkers helping you at all adjust?
I picked up another stomach bug from my employees. I missed work the past couple days, but I think today I'm over it. I've lost 5 lbs, but it's frustrating because before I got sick, I was doing better taking walks at night and going to the gym. I'm back to calorie counting and charting my weight for now. My midwife is worried I've gained too much weight too early. She's concerned since weight gain usually accelerates towards the end of pregnancy. Baby seems fine in all this. He really went bananas on a sugar high because of the jello and Gatorade this week.
In other news, we've had a series of setbacks with the house. The neighbors removed three trees that were on the property line between our houses. Although they were careful dropping branches, water started pouring in our bedroom ceiling at 5 am Monday morning after a big rainstorm. Our insurance agent said a change in wind sheer may have caused the leak if there is no obvious dents or missing shingles. We got plastic on the spot and stopped the leak, but it did damage to the ceiling we'll have to fix on top of everything else. So that will be our project this weekend. Kitchen reno has ground to a halt while we look for a brick mason to fill in where we removed windows.
How's everyone else doing?0 -
@Alioth That seems to be my plan I'm going with as of right now because I just can't be bothered with anything else with so much going on/changing at work and trying to make things work on top of all that is really just causing more frustration than anything.
My coworkers are great (for the most part) but because of the changes happening including my being moved into a different department, I don't see them that often and none of us have the same breaks/lunch (with the exception of during training which is now over) so there's just not a whole lot of interaction anymore. We can still instant message each other but that's also significantly hindered now because the department I moved to gets busy more often and is a lot more demanding so there is no down time to have a conversation.
I'm in the mindset to just make the best of it.
I'm sorry to hear you're sick! Hopefully you're feeling better now. How did the ceiling project go? It sounds like a giant pain in the *kitten* but I hope it went smoothly and everything is fixed now.0 -
Hello everyone!
I’ve been away from MFP for months, pretty much my entire pregnancy. March 2, I had my little boy. He came 3 weeks early, it was actually a scary start to his birth story (I started to bleed, went to the hospital, and had to have a c-section), but ended well - he was small but healthy. He will be 2 months old this Friday.
I am exclusively breastfeeding. I have never been so hungry in all my life! 2 weeks PP I lost pretty much all the pregnancy weight I gained, now I have gained 10lbs. My little guy is not a great sleeper so I am exhausted, plus he nurses frequently (more than every 2 hours most days), food is keeping me going.
I’ve been told that with breastfeeding I shouldn’t diet as not to mess with my supply, so I won’t be putting a lot of energy on deficit, but I hope to track to make better food options (this kid makes me carbo-load) and get back to exercise.
I hope you all are well and look forward to catching up.
-Jackie0 -
@CursedDiamond So glad to read an update from you!! Congratulations on your baby boy! i'm glad to hear that although it started out scary that it ended well! I can't even imagine. He's adorable, love the profile picture!0
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@MommysLittleMeatball Congrats on your new baby! He's beautiful! I'm glad that you're both doing well. I hope I do as good as you have on losing the baby weight.
@WifiresGettingFit That kinda stinks that you don't see your coworkers as often. How did this week go? I'm doing okish. Back to regular morningsickness. Feeling unmotivated about working out. -.- Housework is enough to wipe me out right now. Josh put sealant on the roof. We're waiting on the weather to test it out with a decent rain before patching the ceiling. Wondering how everyone else is doing. Haha.0 -
@Alioth All in all the week wasn't too bad but I was definitely ready for the weekend once Friday rolled around. (Honestly I'm pretty much ready for the weekend before the weekend is over but we'll just ignore that haha) That sucks about the morning sickness! I hope it passes! Hopefully the sealant passes the test and you can patch the ceiling up. Currently I'm just trying to gear myself up for another week. haha We basically spent all day out and about with the exception of the morning when we did laundry, I took a two hour nap earlier but I'm still ready for bed. Sigh. There just isn't enough time and not enough downtime.0
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Hi ladies! I hope everyone is doing well! I just caught up on the last month's worth of posts but missed most of what happened before that.
Kayla - I'm sorry to hear this new job is so stressful and demanding. Something I recently found to be really helpful and important to me when I feel like I don't have enough down time is to focus that time on the bare minimum chores for my sanity and spend the rest of it doing something I enjoy, like reading. It's just so much better for my mental health to take this approach than to try to always get all of the chores done.
@MommysLittleMeatball Congratulations!! I'm sorry it started scary, but now you have your precious squish. Breastfeeding had me starving! I regained 8 of the lbs. I lost post-partum from overeating carbs and high calorie foods while breastfeeding. They are all gone again now, though. You just have to give yourself time to adjust to the new way of things and find a rhythm/balance that works for you.
@pezhed Everything you have going on sounds so exciting! Your house looks beautiful. I had a friend who used to live in Fort Collins. It's such a beautiful area. How is the house selling going? Are you and Kris getting along better?Combining finances is so incredibly difficult. Leo and I struggled with that a lot and bickered quite a bit. There have several hiccups since then, but it is so much easier now.
I'm doing pretty well. My job is driving bonkers. I have applied and interviewed for a position ~2 hours north of my current city. I honestly don't know whether or not I want to get it. I hate change so much but I just don't know if I keep putting up with the shenanigans at my current job. Leo, quite seriously, told me that as long as we stay in our current house, I could retire in 5 years if I stay in my current job. Right now that sounds so tempting! I could spend more time at home with squish and the fur kids, volunteer, etc. The only problem is that I really need social interaction but I'm super introverted, so work forces to have those interactions. If I were a stay-at-home mom, I think I would become really depressed and stir crazy, but I'm just not good at going out and joining groups, making friends, etc.
The baby is doing great. He still isn't crawling; he gets into position and then goes backward. He stands but doesn't walk. He is chattering away and clapping. He and the dog are definitely going to be partners in crime
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@puffbrat I'm pretty much already doing the bare minimum of cleaning but I do appreciate the suggestion. Maybe I'll work on it a bit more to see if I can find a better balance. Thank you
I think it'll get easier once we either 1.) get a house closer to work or 2.) I get an earlier shift. I'm hoping one of the two happens soon. I won't hold my breath though since every single house we decide to go after has been pending/contingent the next day (not an exaggeration) and with getting an earlier shift; I made sure I'm on the list but have already been told there currently isn't any earlier shift available and I have no idea where I'm at on the list and when an earlier shift will become available. I just try to focus on the good things (like that at least I'm back in the work force and it pays more than my last job, etc) but sometimes it's really *kitten* hard to think positively.
If I could retire in 5 years, I would do it in a heartbeat. I didn't necessarily like the person I was when I was unemployed (I'll just be honest; I let myself go and got way too lazy) but now that I'm in the workforce again I'm quite easily reminded (and on a daily basis) about all the things I dislike about working (and just to be clear it isn't the actual work that's the problem). I think making a point to get out each day or a couple times a week would prevent you from going stir crazy and getting depressed and while you need social interaction I think you may find that it doesn't have to be in a group setting or even with the intent of making friends; just being around people/getting out of the house may be enough. I wish it was something I made a point to do while unemployed. I think it's the staying in a lot that starts the problem and the longer you stay in, the easier it is to continue to do so. (obviously my experience was without having a baby so this may not even apply to you haha but just throwing it out there anyway even though it just occurred to me that you may already be talking based on your own previous experience - I do still think you could make it work if that's what you needed)
I'm glad to hear your little squish is doing great! How old is he now? 0 -
Thanks Kayla! I'm sorry to hear that about having to wait for an earlier shift, and the house hunting frustration. I wish I had something helpful to say.
It's killing my husband waiting for me to hear about the job I interviewed for. I increasingly like the idea of retiring in 5 years and being a stay-at-home mom/doing volunteer work. I miss working with wildlife and doing something more conservation oriented. It would be great if I could find a volunteer position or part-time job that focuses on conservation or resilience and uses my professional expertise. I do actually love the field I work in, and have worked really hard to become an expert. I hate the idea of throwing that all away and not using it anymore.
Baby Leo turns 10 months old on Wednesday. It's so hard to believe! A week ago, the baby and I had a mini session with a professional photographer. The pictures are so cute! Squish smiles in very few, but the frowny faces are hilarious.0
