July 2016 Move Your @ss Challenge
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@QUEENEGREENE - I am so sorry to hear that.
I know firsthand how devastating that can be. My heart goes out to all involved.
Secondly, I wanted to drop a note to apologize to all of you for being so distant and less actively involved in conversations here than usual the last couple of months, but things have been really stressful and chaotic at the homefront here. We're having near daily struggles and battles with my girlfriend's 16-yr old son.
He is special needs and apparently no consequences nor punishments will deter him from breaking basic rules of the household...really just basic rules of decency. He lies to us, steals from us, and won't follow his punishment long enough to get off of it. He's been grounded to his bedroom for over a month now. We've had to remove every electronic device that accesses the internet and take it to our workplace for storage. The TV is locked so he can't view it. I have to unplug the router daily and take it to work with me. We've had to put chains & locks on closet doors to keep him out. We are about at our wit's end here. We have been searching and begging for help and it's not coming fast enough. The confrontations keep getting uglier and uglier. We have to sleep with our phones, wallets & keys in our pillowcases at night because he comes in our room at night while we sleep to try to take them and play on them or steal from them. We put a keyed doorknob on our bedroom door, but it doesn't stop him from prying it open daily. And we don't want to shut it at night because then we won't get any A/C in our room. After warning him multiple times that were were going to call the cops on him, we finally had to make good on the promise after he stole her credit card that she had just replaced from the last time he took it and used it without permission. He was unsuccessful in charging any money to it this time at least. But even that middle of the night visit from the cops has not changed his behavior one bit in the last week. We woke up to him digging around in his mother's nightstand drawer for her wallet again yesterday morning! He previously took the credit cards to purchase in-game currency for games he's downloaded on his phone or x-box. But with all of those devices and game systems gone out of the apartment, now he just steals cash to buy pop from the vending machine down the hall. It's petty theft at best, but it's very troubling and worrisome that he can't control his impulses!
He has an in-home therapist coming twice a week for 2 hrs each and also goes to group therapy for 5 hours on 4 days per week. It is not helping in the least. We're prisoners in our own home. We started keeping an "incident log" about 6 weeks ago and it's already up to 9 pages long! We can't straight out legally kick him out until he's 18 (about 13 more months) but what we really want is to get him the RIGHT help or he's definitely going to have problems as an adult and just end up in jail.
Sorry to dump all that but I really needed to vent some frustration.
Dave0 -
@queenegreene So sorry for your loss. I know exactly how difficult this is and will be for her.
@darkrider42 Wow, so much to deal with! I hope you all can get the help you need soon! Don't worry about venting, sometimes it helps to just get it out there!0 -
@queenegreene I'm so sorry for your loss. I work in a delivery room so I see this firsthand and unfortunately way too often. Make sure to take care of yourself as well as your daughter.
@darkrider42 Dave, I'm sorry you guys are going through this. I don't know what to say other than feel free to vent here if it helps. Cyber hug sent.
5.1 miles today, mostly walking and a few laps around the Wellness Center and field during Boot Camp class. IMO, the building is way too big
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July 18
24.98 miles
369.60 miles MTD0 -
@darkrider42 I am very sorry to hear of all the struggles you are your gf are experiencing. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you through this struggle. Feel free to vent here. Its a safe place and a wonderful and caring environment. We are here for more than support in reaching our fitness goals.
Still trying to find a balance between walking and strength training...but onward we go.. Goal looks obtainable by the end of the month..
TTD 64.24
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queenegreene wrote: »7/14 to 7/17 - 21.31 miles walking
Total to date - 86.06 of 140 miles
Sad news, my daughter lost the baby. Most of my miles were walked on downstairs treadmill while my daughter was resting. I was going to try the exercise bike, but haven't been on that thing for months (since I started overtime hours in January I'd bet) and didn't want to add physical pain to everything else going on at the moment
@queenegreene: I am so sorry for your daughter and your families loss. I pray that time will heal the loss.0 -
July 18: Summer is flying by and it seems like my to do list is still long.
Adding 20.5 miles today of which 15.5 are cycling and 5 miles are walking
TTD: 363 miles
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Dave - This is probably the very best place to vent. I hope things get better.
@gueengreene - My heart breaks for your daughter. So very sad.
Chris0 -
Walked w/DH then shopped w/DDD. A fun day!
07/18 - 7.84
Hope everyone has a great Tuesday.
Chris0 -
5 miles walked
45 miles total
30 miles to go...
towards 75 mile July goal !!
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darkrider42 wrote: »@QUEENEGREENE - I am so sorry to hear that. I know firsthand how devastating that can be. My heart goes out to all involved.
Secondly, I wanted to drop a note to apologize to all of you for being so distant and less actively involved in conversations here than usual the last couple of months, but things have been really stressful and chaotic at the homefront here. We're having near daily struggles and battles with my girlfriend's 16-yr old son.
He is special needs and apparently no consequences nor punishments will deter him from breaking basic rules of the household...really just basic rules of decency. He lies to us, steals from us, and won't follow his punishment long enough to get off of it. He's been grounded to his bedroom for over a month now. We've had to remove every electronic device that accesses the internet and take it to our workplace for storage. The TV is locked so he can't view it. I have to unplug the router daily and take it to work with me. We've had to put chains & locks on closet doors to keep him out. We are about at our wit's end here. We have been searching and begging for help and it's not coming fast enough. The confrontations keep getting uglier and uglier. We have to sleep with our phones, wallets & keys in our pillowcases at night because he comes in our room at night while we sleep to try to take them and play on them or steal from them. We put a keyed doorknob on our bedroom door, but it doesn't stop him from prying it open daily. And we don't want to shut it at night because then we won't get any A/C in our room. After warning him multiple times that were were going to call the cops on him, we finally had to make good on the promise after he stole her credit card that she had just replaced from the last time he took it and used it without permission. He was unsuccessful in charging any money to it this time at least. But even that middle of the night visit from the cops has not changed his behavior one bit in the last week. We woke up to him digging around in his mother's nightstand drawer for her wallet again yesterday morning! He previously took the credit cards to purchase in-game currency for games he's downloaded on his phone or x-box. But with all of those devices and game systems gone out of the apartment, now he just steals cash to buy pop from the vending machine down the hall. It's petty theft at best, but it's very troubling and worrisome that he can't control his impulses!
He has an in-home therapist coming twice a week for 2 hrs each and also goes to group therapy for 5 hours on 4 days per week. It is not helping in the least. We're prisoners in our own home. We started keeping an "incident log" about 6 weeks ago and it's already up to 9 pages long! We can't straight out legally kick him out until he's 18 (about 13 more months) but what we really want is to get him the RIGHT help or he's definitely going to have problems as an adult and just end up in jail.
Sorry to dump all that but I really needed to vent some frustration.
Dave
Prayers to you @QUEENEGREENE. Dave, feel free to vent all you want. We are here for you/0 -
I am just on autopilot/
07/15 - 21.0 miles cycling (TdF Stage 13)
07/16 - 18.0 miles cycling (TdF Stage 14)
07/17 - 19.0 miles cycling (TdF Stage 15)
07/18 - 18.0 miles cycling (TdF Stage 16)
Total: 307.0 miles
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Adding 3.34 and 4.29 miles walked
75.68 miles walked to date0 -
@queenegreene So sorry for this loss your family hasexperienced.
@darkrider42 Pretty tough times at your place! I hope help arrives for you all. Feel free to vent any time
18 Jul 6.1 miles
19 Jul 11.2 miles
MTD 207.5 miles
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Sorry I haven't been active. I hurt my calf so I haven't done any exercise 0
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@queenegreene - Sending prayers to you and your family.
@darkrider42 (and everyone!) - vent away on this forum. We are all here to support each other in ways other than just praise for miles completed. Sometimes just getting it out can be a relief. I am sorry that I don't get on here to support everyone as much as I should.
But @darkrider42 - I do have one question....where are you? Just noticed you said "pop". I'm from OH originally, but am in FL now. I still call it pop and I don't care that people here don't know what I mean.0 -
30 minutes on the stationary bike yesterday for 8.58 miles-
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adding 7.91 miles
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3.2 mile walk after a substitute instructor in this morning's muscle conditioning class tried to make my arms and shoulders fall off. The feeling came back eventually.
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@queenegreene So sorry for you and your families loss. I know how that feels. I had a miscarriage many years ago.
Dave. It sounds awful for you at the moment. I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling at the moment. Let us hope you get the help you need soon. Sending good thoughts your way for a solution for you. Thank you so much for carrying on doing this, even with all your problems.
5 miles walked today
80.68 miles walked to date0 -
4.5 miles walking in the city today. I had a lovely day, got all my errands done, and had a haircut with a fabulous new hairdresser.
@queenegreene - So sorry. Here's hoping for happier times in the future.
@darkrider42 - Vent away. What a difficult situation. I have to believe that in some way you are getting through and helping him, as slow as it may be to show. You have a very good heart for hanging in there and trying.0 -
7/18 8.5 miles
7/19 10.25 miles
As of 7/19 211.25 miles of 250 miles
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Walked w/DH early then hit the gym w/DDD for an hour workout then got on the recumbent for 52 mins and some Banshee. We have Bean for the afternoon and are just hanging out together.
07/19 - 9.00 miles
07/19 - 14.00 bike miles
Hope everyone has a fine Wednesday!
Chris0 -
July18
25.99 miles
395.59 miles MTD
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SPREADSHEET UPDATED TO HERE
See (but not edit) the
spreadsheet here:
http://tinyurl.com/myac201402
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@CLEPANT - You keep tearing it up passing your GOAL 3X this month!
And CONGRATS to @JUST_CECI for blowing past her goal as well!! Plenty of month left!! :drinker:
@HUNGRY_ANNIE - Sorry your calf is still bothering you! Is it getting any better yet?
I want to thank you all for all of the kind words and encouragement and allowing me to vent. Not sure what we're going to be able to do. It just may be the way his brain is and he'll have to learn coping skills to overcome it. But he's going to have to really want to. Not sure that's ever going to happen. I've felt that was the case for some time now. His brain is not functioning properly and there won't ever be a fix for it, only learning to live with it and manage it. What that means to his mother and I is that we have a couple choices. Continue trying to get him help to learn how to get his behavior under control (we will do everything WE can, but essentially it's up to him to put it in practice). If that fails and we continue having multiple significant blowups every week or so, then we either are going to have to ride it out for the next year and then kick him out or we send him to long-term residential treatment (2-3 years) and his mother has to sign away parental rights. That sounds horrible, but believe me, a couple nights ago we would have done it without batting an eye if we could have. It has gotten to that point. We're in crisis mode.
We can't let our guard down now though. If we start overlooking when he does wrong stuff, then he'll just keep doing it. But if we keep catching him, he'll stay permanently grounded and will be so bored that he'll continue breaking the rules anyway. We really can't win.
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@ Dave: My heart goes out to you and your girlfriend. You do not say what his handicap is nor do you need to share. Would drug therapy help? You said he is in therapy. Could it also be hormonal along with his emotional challenges? I work with lots of emotionally challenged kids and I have seen and heard things that would shock most. I also had a neighbor whose son was stealing like crazy from them. It came down to them allowing him to live there but they allowed him access to the basement only and he could not come in to the rest of the house. He had an entrance from outside. He stole his dad's wedding ring and sold it. I also can understand your thoughts on residential treatment. We have so many issues with mental health in this country and nothing out there to help with it. My prayers are with you guys. Please feel free to vent....we are here for you.
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@Dave: My heart goes out to the two of you. What a difficult time and I am sure it has been so stressful. I deal with a lot of emotionally challenged kids and I know most people would not believe what some of their parents go through on a daily basis. I had a neighbor whose son was steeling from them like crazy. They fixed up the basement for his room and locked him out of the rest of the house. He had access from the outside only. He stole his dad's wedding ring while they slept and sold it. I also dealt with a mentally ill mother for years and each day was so stressful. I sure hope that you can find some help for him. I would assume that through therapy they have also tried some sort of drug therapy if feasible. Please feel free to vent here anytime you need to. You have to find a release or this will be just as bad for the two of you. I will keep you in prayer.0
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July 19: 22.11 miles of which I ran 4.11 miles, cycled 16 miles and walked 2 miles today.
TTD: 385.11 miles
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sufferlandrian wrote: »sufferlandrian wrote: »sufferlandrian wrote: »sufferlandrian wrote: »12 miles out of 350.
Adding 56 miles for 68 out of 350.
Adding 35 miles for 103 out of 350.
Adding 101 miles for 204 out of 350.
Adding 21 miles for 254 out of 350.0
This discussion has been closed.