Third Quarter of 2016: We Can Do This!!
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Well, we are back home after our week at the beach. I had a (mostly) good time, but it is good to be home. We were with my SIL, MIL, and DH's aunt, so lots of family dynamics in play. I really hope this is the last time we try to take MIL on a trip with us. It's very hard on her physically, and it means a lot of work for SIL who shares a room with her and bears the brunt of the care of her. I expect my SIL needs a vacation to recover from her vacation at this point.
Helene, I'm glad your DH is doing well. I hope you're able to get caught up on sleep and rest soon. You must take good care of yourself, too since DH will need extra help and care.
I have a lot to catch up on, so I'll be back later. I did want to check in and let you know I haven't disappeared.0 -
Welcome back Pam! I can't imagine spending a week with my in-laws. A family dinner was about my limit.
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I can sympathize with trying to take MIL on trips. I'm sure you're right that it's too much for her now and that someone has to entertain her. Which family member/s still think it's a good idea? That person should be assigned to be with her during her waking hours. I'm sure a day of that responsibility will enlighten them. She's probably more comfortable in her own living environment.
I'm sure it's a guilt thing for the family in feeling they need to share vacations. A better plan would be to take her out to lunch more frequently. She'd see different scenery in small doses and it probably wouldn't overtax her.
Maryanne..How did the cat show and raffle go? I saw a photo of an unusual cat on TV. It had a spotted body like a leopard and stripes on the face, legs and I think the belly. They had a side view of the cat leaping so I didn't see that much of the belly. It was a pretty striking cat.
We had the nurse and PT again today. The nurse was supposed to come tomorrow but she called and asked if she could come today. I didn't mind today but I think I would have picked a later time. She came 30 minutes before PT and ran over into his time. He said he didn't mind and he stayed later than he would have. I was in the shower when she called and DH just said the time was fine. PT changed his days so they won't overlap next time. He's 5-6 pounds under his normal weight. We thought he'd gain 20 pounds of water weight but I think it must have been 25 pounds, based on his current weight. He was too exhausted to finish meals right after surgery so that's probably when he lost the weight.
He's relaxing at home while I'm running a few errands. He feels well enough that I can go out for and hour or two. He'll probably be napping when I get home.
I've been stress eating so I haven't lost a thing for this quarter. I feel lucky I'm not heavier than when we started. Hopefully, now that he's home, I can stop that bad habit.
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My DH is the one who insists on including his mom on these trips. She usually says she doesn't want to come but he talks her into it. When we are at the beach he loves to sit on the balcony and read. If she is out of bed she is usually sitting in the living area reading the paper or a book. She can't be left alone because she isn't trustworthy around her medications or alcohol, so someone has to be there to babysit. My SIL who is an RN is very rigid about her care, which MIL resents, so there is always tension. SIL also is inconsistent about letting her have alcohol, so that adds to the tension. SIL is the type of person who is like a steamroller -- it's easier just to let her have her way than to try to resist or redirect her, so I end up biting my tongue a lot to keep from saying what I really think. By the end of the week, it's a wonder I have any tongue left, lol!
Helene, it sounds like you have a full plate these days. I remember that when I had the home health nurses coming to our house their schedules were often fairly fluid. They would typically give me a time range for when they would be here. Having done in-home appointments myself, I understood how it's hard to stick precisely to a schedule due to traffic and not knowing exactly how long each appointment would take. It can be frustrating when you're on the receiving end of services, but for the care providers it is almost impossible to be precisely on time for every appointment. Since I'm fairly OCD about punctuality, it was very hard for me to deal with.0 -
Just a quick check in to let you know I haven't forgotten you. I've been busy working and am off to work again today. When I did try to check in, there was an internet outage.
Helene--Stress eating is understandable right now. In fact, maintaining is an accomplishment when dealing with health issues and the routine required.
Pam--Going on a vacation is not really a vacation when dealing with the issues involved with taking MIL on the trip with you.0 -
Helene - the cat show is this coming weekend. I have to keep reminding myself as somehow my mind just isn't ready!
Pam - that doesn't sound like much of a vacation.
Jean - sounds like you are super busy already!! I can't figure out when the school day starts around here. I have a friend whose son has to get the bus at 6 am. While down the street from me the bus shows up around 9 am.0 -
Pam, is there someone at DH's church that could talk to him about the cons of taking MIL on vacation. I'm sure he's doing it out of love and guilt but its not a fun experience for any of you. Taking her out to lunch more frequently would let you spend quality time in shorter segments. She'd probably handle that better and enjoy herself more. I agree that what you described was no vacation. If DH spent a whole day sitting with her and entertaining her, he'd have a better idea of what he's asking the rest of the family to do. Sitting on a deck reading while she's in another room doesn't count as spending time with her. Or maybe someone from her facility could tell him how hard that trio is for her. I hope another solution comes up before the next trip.0
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Since we live 4 hours away from MIL, we aren't able to take her out to lunch except when we are down there. DH is very much in denial about his mom and her limitations at this point. I don't think it will be an issue for awhile, but the next time it comes up I intend to have a frank discussion with him about the advisability of taking her on another trip. I'm pretty sure SIL will not agree to it either, so I don't think MIL will be going on another trip, and I'm pretty sure that's OK with her.0
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I'm not sure it's possible for men to face the reality of their beloved mother's failing.
My MIL had multiple myeloma, refused treatment until it was too late, and then got scared. Through it all DH pretty much had his head in the sand. The burdens fell mostly on the one girl in the family. (They were fair though, at least economically, she got the family home in exchange for shouldering that burden.)
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Good morning, I'm not working but could have. The call went to voice mail before I could get to the phone. When that happens, the system automatically calls the next person.
As far as weight loss is concerned, I was doing great. I have no idea what I weigh now but was at my goal. I just got tired of eating "healthy" and wanted something else. Are you ready for this? For dinner one evening, I was so tired that I just stopped and bought a pint of ice cream which had four servings. That was dinner!! Tasted so, so good!0 -
A pint of ice cream sounds like a great dinner to me, I'm sorry to say. LOL!
I had to go to the vet yesterday, pick up Indy, take her to the ophthalmologist, then back to the vet and then home. Then race to try to get some work done.
It's been a long week.
The good news is we got two great people this week who want to "foster". I'd call it more like "foster to own" as I suspect we won't get either cat back. At least that's the hope. I think they are just people cautious.0 -
I can relate to the pint of ice cream. What flavor was it?
Wednesday I was on the way to my massage appointment and I was running early. My friend hadn't arrived home from her day job when I went to my last so I didn't want to show up early. I found myself pulling into a Dunkin Donuts drive through. I'd planned on ordering a jelly stick just because I felt like it. I've mention the stress eating of late. Anyway, there were four cars ahead of me and the first car must have had a whopper of an order. I was there five minutes and the line hadn't moved. It was getting close to my appointment time so I mentally slapped myself and said what the heck are you doing. I got out of line and drove down the rod to my appointment. And I wasn't tempted to stop on the way home. If the line had moved faster, I would have ordered and eaten that jelly stick. I guess it true what they say about if you can postpone eating behavior for ten minutes or so, the urge might pass. I think that's what happened.
The great news about the foster cats. I hope they turn out to be forever homes.0 -
Helene--Butter Pecan is always the choice when I indulge. Love the Dunkin Donuts story!! Unlike me, you showed responsible behavior.
Maryanne--Great news on the cats. You have such a rewarding job but I also know some heartaches are involved.
Look at what was in the back yard:
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My favorite ice cream flavors are brand specific: Edie's chocolate chip cookie dough, Ben & Jerry cherry garcia and Haagen Daz rockie road. The best ice cream ever was Ben & Jerry's Totally Nuts - it's now in their flavor graveyard (ever see that on their web site) - I still miss that. I do like butter pecan - it's high up on the list.
Ah, Jean, what a cutie! I haven't seen the deer at the one colony for awhile. Maybe she moved on.
Set up was exhausting yesterday but we finished fairly early (maybe those two are related?) Anyway we got on the road at 3:30. Still not a great time to be leaving the DC suburbs but it could be worse. I have a "back route" I take. I'm okay with the Capital Beltway but for some reason I HATE I-270. It had been two years but I almost didn't need the directions. It's a route I used to take all the time before we got more vet specialists up here.
Setting up required creativity. Our normal show setup is 10 1/2 x 20 feet. This space was 8 x 20 and included an "alcove". Because I wasn't expecting the strange space I hadn't packed any tables; just planned to rely on the rented tables the show provides for a small fee. Six of them fit nicely into a 10 1/2 x 20 space. For next month's show - one we've never been to before - I definitely want to pack some varied size tables.
There is no food at this show so I'll be trekking with my own snacks - I'm probably better off - although once upon a time this show hall (which is part of the Montgomery County fairgrounds) had the BEST food.
I had one table of Christmas and 2/3 a table of Halloween. Some new catnip Halloween toys from Mouse Factory. They are too cute! (Almost too cute for cats to play with!) These are the toys we sell: http://www.catnipstore.com/ (I made the mistake once of googling "mouse factory" - that web site actually sells (live) mice).
Today I did a slew of errands and then answered all of yesterday's emails.
This week I put away my summer/sunflower decorations and got out my Halloween decorations. A little early I know - but I was in the mood - and it's my house!!
Now that the raffle mailing is with the volunteers to be assembled I laid out my timeline for finishing/delivering the holiday newsletter. This is a busy time of year!0 -
We just got home from dinner and a movie. We saw "Sully" and I would definitely recommend it. The movie was very well done. I asked my SIL if she wanted to see it and she said, "Why? I already know how it ended." However, the movie focuses on the NTSB investigation that followed of which I knew very little, so it kept me very interested.
Tomorrow I am seeing "Bridget Jones' Baby" with friends. I suspect it will not be as gripping as tonight's movie, but I'm sure it will be entertaining.
Lately, my diet efforts have not been so stellar, either. I came back from vacation with three more pounds than I left with and was making progress on losing them until Thursday night. That night we celebrated a friend's birthday at a restaurant, then we ate dinner out tonight. I've also had cake and cookies over the past three days, so the weight is on an upward trajectory. I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself to diet right now. Maybe after I'm done with my last surgery I'll feel more like getting back on track.
Speaking of my last surgery, it is scheduled for Wednesday morning. I have a pre-op visit with the Doctor Tuesday morning, followed by a pre-op appointment at the hospital immediately afterward. Then I need to hurry home because my friends are coming over for a knitting lesson. One of my friends is an expert knitter, but she spends all summer in Michigan and hasn't come back home yet. My friends are eager to get back to knitting so they asked me to help them get started again. I researched and found a simple pattern for a dishcloth or washcloth that will give them a chance to practice basic stitches. I'm hoping by the time they finish this project our expert friend will be back, because I am far from an expert. I guess I should also clean my house before they show up.0 -
Pam--I do hope your surgery goes well. You are not alone in your diet efforts. I was doing well until the last month. Motivation is a big issue with me also.0
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I had a very scary experience today. Before meeting friends to see a movie, I stopped by a local craft store to buy some yarn for a scarf. When I left my car I stepped into the crosswalk. There were two cars coming toward me, one in each direction, but neither was close enough to concern me. I was looking to my left to be sure I was clear of the closest car, then looked forward again just in time to keep from being hit by the other car, which had accelerated significantly. If I had been one step further into the crosswalk, that car would have flattened me. It was so close that I couldn't avoid hitting the driver's side mirror with my shoulder. The driver slammed on the brakes and I walked around the back of the vehicle, a black Suburban. When I got around to the other side and safely on the sidewalk, she put the passenger window down and asked if I was OK and apologized. Her excuse? Her kid was in the back seat screaming and she had turned her head to deal with that. I'm still shaking. Not only was she irresponsible in turning her head away from the road, she had to have accelerated significantly while doing it because she wasn't that close to me when I first stepped into the crosswalk. I can only hope that it shook her up as much as it did me, and that she learned a lesson from it.0
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Pam - that was horrendous! What an irresponsible driver! I'm so glad you're okay.
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What a scary situation. I hope next time she lets the child scream until she can safely pull over to deal with him. It would be more understandable if you hadn't been in a crosswalk and were jaywalking. What a relief that you are okay. I would have been shaken too. I saw Sully and liked it too. Even though you knew the outcome, it was suspenseful. I never knew about the grief he went through with the NTSB either.0
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Pam--I agree that this was a scary situation. We just never know when carelessness on the part of someone else will result in injury or death to us.
I had appointments with the cardiologist and urologist today. The cardiologist appointment went well; all is under control at this point but I'm very strict upon making sure the meds are taken, bp, etc. monitored. I also have lost 11 pounds since the last appointment according to their scales. I have to say that I can't tell it but my scale closely agrees.
The urologist appointment resulted in an appointment for a bladder scope to be done to see if the bladder cancer is returning. Some suspicious cells were found. The scope will be done on October 10.
I really enjoyed my lunch at the Outback. Final analysis is that it was a very good day.
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Jean..I'm glad the cardiologist appointment went well. I hope the scope goes as well. It's scary to have a test like that hanging over you. Is it a painful test?
DH had a post op check of his pacemaker last week. All is well and they have a monitor being shipped to us so they can check it remotely. We'll even take it to FL and they can check it from there. Technology is amazing. He still has the nurse and PT for another week and a half. He can go up and down stairs know and walk a short ways down our street. He might be able to go further but that's the distance PT selected for him. His post op visit with the surgeon is in two weeks. The only time he has pain now is if he sneezes. He had a sneezing fit this monring and I could tell it was painful.
I got in a mani/pedi today. I planned to go yesterday but the nurse didn't come until 2. By the time she left, the urge to go out had left me.0 -
Jean - I'm glad the cardiologist went well and that their scales matched yours! How often does that ever happen?
Helene - I'm glad DH continues to show improvement. That has to be a relief to both of you.
Today is my DH's 68th birthday. He's decided he's not a spring chicken (ya think??? LOL!)
We are supposed to get monster rain here the next few days. This will be my first real test at the colonies I think.
Pretty Boy has moved into the adoption cage at the vet. I hope he does well! I do miss him when I'm feeding but he deserves this chance.
The woman who is sick (who used to feed these colonies) has an empty house across the street from her. I'm not clear on whether the man died or went into a home. The family locked up the house and left the cat. This woman has been putting out food. The other day she saw the cat LOOKING OUT THE WINDOWS. She and Lil discovered the back door unlocked and went in. Pretty much a hoarder's house and they couldn't find the cat. Emergency call to me for a trap (Lil's trap wasn't with her). By 6 pm they got the cat who was screaming and lunging and just scary. They took it to a small local shelter where they know the main person. She put it in a cage and could pet it. So maybe it will have a chance after all.
We have a cat we've had for quite awhile headed for a foster home today. My guess is he'll stay (the woman lost her cat and wants to "foster"). We can only hope.
My work is heating up big time right now. Good for the paycheck. Bad for getting things done. I'm going to head out for the weekly grocery shopping, hopefully before the massive rain hits. I washed food dishes yesterday because I imagine I'll need clean dishes for the cats.
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I went back to my book group today. I missed last month because it was the day folowing DH's surgery. Our book was "Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande. At first I thought it was depressing but as I got into it, I found myself enlightened and interested. It's non fiction and all about the choices we make or don't make about end of life decisions. The author is a doctor and he talks about how doctors often avoid having the deep discussions patients about what kinds of treatments they want for life threatening illnesses, quality of life and when to discontinue aggressive treatments. it also looked at the decisions to place family members into assisted living or nursing home when it was no longer safe for them to live alone. Some of the stories he cited were sad but he also spoke of alternatives that took into account what the patient wanted. There are places out there where patients still have control of their lives even after having to give up living independently. We had a great discussion full of personal experiences. I'd highly recommend the book.
I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and laundry is in my future as well. That's about it for me. Maryanne..I hope the rain isn't as bad as you expect.0 -
I'm home from my surgery. It went well, though the doc said there wasn't much they could do to revise the scars. I had expected that but was hoping they could do something. Having more pain than I expected but I have drugs and I'm hoping it gets better soon. In the meantime, I could really use a nap since I didn't sleep very well and had to be up early.0
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Helene - that sounds like an interesting book!
I've read several articles about how doctors choose to die differently than the rest of us - much less care as opposed to more. Sort of a corollary to that book. Maybe they avoid the discussions because they think we're all nuts!
Here's a CNN article: http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/17/opinions/doctors-choose-quality-of-life-over-length-corley/
Here's a Reader's Digest article: http://www.rd.com/health/conditions/how-doctors-choose-to-die/0 -
Pam - glad that's over but I'm sorry they couldn't do more for the scars!0
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Major flood warnings here today through tomorrow. Didn't we just go through this? I'm searching the weather report to look for a break when I might be able to feed. But maybe the cats should just stay in their shelters/hidey holes today.0
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Sorry I have been missing. The Internet went out and I have also been busy. Today, I'm going out of state to have an EMG done, which I hope is the last of the tests. Then Friday of next week is the back surgeon's appointment for the second opinion based upon the tests. I don't expect anything "challenging."0
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Out of state for a test? Wow, sounds like me driving my guys to Virginia. Best of luck!0
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The weather channel said "rain in 80 minutes" so I ran out the door to feed the colonies. Into rain. I can't believe weather people actually get paid. For wild guesses. You'd think they could at least get right what is happening that very minute! Geesh!!
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