Me Vs. the Binge -- August 2017 Challenge
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Replies
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Me: 3
B: 0
DBF: 182 -
August 4
Me: 2.5
B: 0.5
DBF: 2.5
Went overboard last night but nothing crazy. So I gave myself half point ✌Yet another huge emotional trigger this morning. My husband was being a total *kitten*! So depressed and feel worthless. Hard not to eat my anger around him2 -
Me: 2
The B: 1
DBF (in August): 1
Last night was a ROUGH one. I was feeling depressed, and I wanted to eat literally everything in the house. Very happy that I didn't, but I had to work really hard not to.
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@PetitClapotis I can relate to those feelings. That's exactly how I felt last night, though not spurred by my fiancé. Those feelings come in waves for me, and yesterday's hit hard. I hope you're better today!
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I'm a few days late to join the challenge but here goes. Last night was rough, so I'm hoping the rest of August will be binge-free.
Me: 2
B:1
DBF (in August): 24 -
brittdee88 wrote: »@PetitClapotis I can relate to those feelings. That's exactly how I felt last night, though not spurred by my fiancé. Those feelings come in waves for me, and yesterday's hit hard. I hope you're better today!
Thank you so much! Knowing that I'm not alone made me feel so much better. I'm not letting those negatively emotions and cravings take over my life. Took a walk and made myself a healthy lunch. Thank God I find peace again.
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@PetitClapotis and @brittdee88 - I hope you guys are feeling better today. Emotions are a huge trigger for me too. Strangely, depression makes me want to not eat, but any other negative emotion (stress, frustration, anger, anxiety, normal-sadness) is an issue. I try to remind myself "Binging will only make you feel worse. Things feel out of control right now but you CAN control what you eat- hold on to that." Sometimes it helps. *hugs*
And thanks for the well-wishes everyone! Doing much better today.5 -
brittdee88 wrote: »Me: 2
The B: 1
DBF (in August): 1
Last night was a ROUGH one. I was feeling depressed, and I wanted to eat literally everything in the house. Very happy that I didn't, but I had to work really hard not to.
Proud of you! Sometimes I find myself sneaking into the kitchen at late night looking around for food then eat literally everything by the sink like an animal. I don't even know what I'm eating. I'd eat everything and anything non-stop then beat myself up by doing hours of cadio plus fasting all day the next day. And that, my husband calls it 'lack of willpower'.
I know it's not a matter of willpower.3 -
@PetitClapotis and @brittdee88 - I hope you guys are feeling better today. Emotions are a huge trigger for me too. Strangely, depression makes me want to not eat, but any other negative emotion (stress, frustration, anger, anxiety, normal-sadness) is an issue. I try to remind myself "Binging will only make you feel worse. Things feel out of control right now but you CAN control what you eat- hold on to that." Sometimes it helps. *hugs*
And thanks for the well-wishes everyone! Doing much better today.
Thank you for such powerful words. I'll check in here also with my real feelings often to keep the urge at bay.1 -
kimmykim92 wrote: »I'm a few days late to join the challenge but here goes. Last night was rough, so I'm hoping the rest of August will be binge-free.
Me: 2
B:1
DBF (in August): 2
Looks like we all hit a bump in the road last night. Hang in there, we're in this together.1 -
@PetitClapotis I could've written that nighttime snack post myself, though I never have talked in depth to my fiancé about it. I've gotten really good at hiding things over the years. In fact, every time he leaves the house for an extended period of time, one of my first thoughts is what I should shovel in since I'm alone. I usually have to talk myself off the ledge. It's a daily struggle, so you are not alone. I actually had to leave the last forum I frequented because people kept making it seem like willpower was my issue and not my mental issues/lifelong disordered eating. People couldn't understand that so much of it was a mental struggle for me.
@Moxie42 I am actually the same way. I have both depression and anxiety. They sometimes trigger each other, so when the anxiety "hits" (especially when I'm stressed), I want to eat everything. And then the depression brings up the rear. I feel terrible about myself, like I'm incredibly weak, a failure, and unworthy of love. And then I don't want to eat anything at all. It's always a tricky thing. It makes me feel better to know that there are people here who can possibly relate.1 -
brittdee88 wrote: »@PetitClapotis I could've written that nighttime snack post myself, though I never have talked in depth to my fiancé about it. I've gotten really good at hiding things over the years. In fact, every time he leaves the house for an extended period of time, one of my first thoughts is what I should shovel in since I'm alone. I usually have to talk myself off the ledge. It's a daily struggle, so you are not alone. I actually had to leave the last forum I frequented because people kept making it seem like willpower was my issue and not my mental issues/lifelong disordered eating. People couldn't understand that so much of it was a mental struggle for me.
@Moxie42 I am actually the same way. I have both depression and anxiety. They sometimes trigger each other, so when the anxiety "hits" (especially when I'm stressed), I want to eat everything. And then the depression brings up the rear. I feel terrible about myself, like I'm incredibly weak, a failure, and unworthy of love. And then I don't want to eat anything at all. It's always a tricky thing. It makes me feel better to know that there are people here who can possibly relate.
The same for me. When I'm depressed I tend to starve myself as I feel that I'm undesirable and not deserve to eat or if I miss a workout I'd keep blaming myself for being sluggish and punishing myself by not eating. But when I'm alone or stressed or anxious I'd stuff my face with whatever food I can find to keep my mind from talking crazy to myself. Sometimes when my husband is about to leave the house I can't help rushing him off so I can eat as soon as I shut the door. This self sabotage urge haunts me for years, it's like living with a monster under my bed I know it's down there waiting to ambush me but I dare not look at him. I've hidden the fear for over 10 years last week I talked about it to my husband for the first time and 'lack of willpower ' was what I got. I think it's a mental issue but also comes from years of dieting and restriction. Thank God I found this group and you guys finally we're not alone. Lots of love and hope to you !2 -
Aug 4
Me: 4*
Binge: 0
DBF: 41 -
Me: 4
B: 0
Days binge-free:17
Struggling daily, but making it through without a binge... Didn't work out this week after a week and a half strong, but going to try to get back on track with that again.
@Moxie42 - I'm glad you're feeling better now!!
@brittdee88 and @PetitClapotis - I can relate to having to "talk myself off the ledge" -- I went out with friends last night and didn't over indulge, but I spent the entire 15-20 min drive home talking myself out of stopping at the 2 places to grab really high calorie &fat snacks I've been wanting..it's a daily struggle for me as well. July was probably the worst month I've had in 2-3 years with this.
@PetitClapotis - taking a walk to clear your mind and exercise is brilliant when you're under that level of stress. I need that reminder! Thank you
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Me: 4
B: 0
DBF: 19
This one thought has saved me two nights in a row in the battle. Through the witching hour that for me comes from 7pm to 9pm for some strange reason. Tonight it goes on the road with me hopefully imprinted on my mind, dinner with my wife on the town Saturday night.
I must choose one of two pains:
The Pain of Discipline tonight or
The Pain of Regret in the morning3 -
Me: 3
The B: 1
DBF (in August): 2
@mae918 good for you for avoiding those places on your drive back and for doing well out with your friends! Overindulging with my friends is almost a given, so I'm glad you were able to beat that. I hope I will get to that point one day.
Happy Saturday, everyone!
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Yesterday was hard. Feeling denied, worthless, neglected, I cried a bit. Maybe it was the stress, or anxiety of losing control of something I used to be good at, or maybe it was my period that I've been expecting for the whole week but never showed up, not even the slightest sign. It used to be regular as clockwork but for the last four months my hormones are totally out of whack. I either don't get my period or get it 20 days behind schedule. My cortisol level is through the roof which makes my sleep and binging episodes even worse. My husband doesn't seem to care, he thinks all these hormonal issue is just in my head and I shouldn't have fussed about it since all I need is to 'relax and have a little willpower'. And yesterday he just kept pushing my button and that totally got on my nerves. So I ranted out and spent the night by myself. I've been craving for corn tortilla chips for a couple of days but I didn't get it when grocery shopping the other day , which turned out to be such a smart decision. And I ran out of peanut butter, another no brake food for me. I was crying my eyes were puffy so I couldn't just rush to the store. There were still some nuts and cookies in the house, but I struggled to stop at a handful of nuts and had some watermelon. that sweetness kept my hand from the cookie jar. Then somehow I found my ways out by picking up a 'check-your-brain-at-the-door' thriller and that made me forget about food. Another binge free day! Yay for me!!
This morning I did 30mins strength training and felt better. We went to farmers market and grocery store and I got apples, tomatoes, mushrooms and peanut butter. No junk food. I tasted one tortilla chip with store made spinach dip and that was it. Set a positive note for the weekend.
Have a great weekend everyone ! Love you guys!1 -
Me: 4
B: 0
Days binge-free:17
Struggling daily, but making it through without a binge... Didn't work out this week after a week and a half strong, but going to try to get back on track with that again.
@Moxie42 - I'm glad you're feeling better now!!
@brittdee88 and @PetitClapotis - I can relate to having to "talk myself off the ledge" -- I went out with friends last night and didn't over indulge, but I spent the entire 15-20 min drive home talking myself out of stopping at the 2 places to grab really high calorie &fat snacks I've been wanting..it's a daily struggle for me as well. July was probably the worst month I've had in 2-3 years with this.
@PetitClapotis - taking a walk to clear your mind and exercise is brilliant when you're under that level of stress. I need that reminder! Thank you
You should have two points for not over indulging and not stopping for snacks ! So happy for you! Keep up with the great job! It will get easier as you get stronger!2 -
hillmike56 wrote: »Me: 4
B: 0
DBF: 19
This one thought has saved me two nights in a row in the battle. Through the witching hour that for me comes from 7pm to 9pm for some strange reason. Tonight it goes on the road with me hopefully imprinted on my mind, dinner with my wife on the town Saturday night.
I must choose one of two pains:
The Pain of Discipline tonight or
The Pain of Regret in the morning
I'll keep that at the back of my mind! Thank you for sharing this brilliant thought!2 -
Aug 5
Me: 5*
Binge: 0
DBF: 51
