Me Vs. the Binge -- August 2017 Challenge
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I could have written your post, @Moxie42. Having the house to myself is also my biggest trigger -- and yet, I want it to myself for reasons having nothing to do with food. I know that conventional wisdom is to go for a walk, get a massage, go to a movie, etc...but those external distractions don't compete with enjoying a quiet house all to myself. I've also tried the in-home remedies: make a cup of tea, enjoy a bath and a good book....sometimes it is successful, sometimes not. Guess we are all a work in progress to some degree.2
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Me: 11
B: 0
DBF: 26
@KnitOrMiss Yes I would like to know more about you DEXA experience. And I can share some information on the gold standard of heart exams called a Catheterization. Where a cardiologist ran a guide wire into blood vessel in my arm and guided it to my heart. Then he took x-ray pictures using a special dye that showed my right coronary artery 100% blocked. Why I was there I was working out on an elliptical trainer at the gym and just starting began sweating like crazy and having trouble at the slowest of pace. Not normal at all for me so I called my Doctor and after a few other test it lead me here to the lab. I was so blessed because my heart had healed itself on my right artery by growing these collateral arties around that blockage. What I was feeling that day on the elliptical was my LAD or what is appropriately called the Willow Maker it was starting to block at 20%. That day became my biggest motivation, that test was my second chance. It motivates me more than any other factor to fight the BINGE. I made it through the test knowing I hadn't had a heart attack and getting no stent placed in my heart a typical fix.
I hope your arties check out and relaxes your concerns, yes keep me informed on the DEXA. My obsession about this test is that it is a great indicator of where visceral fat is stored in the body and this type of fat is a key contributor to heart disease.2 -
@moxie42 & @Nevadaden sometime i don't get the emotions you guys write about. I blame it either on my gender or being a logical computer professional all my career. But that story and those emotions about having the house to yourself when your spouse is away and how the BINGE works those situation I totally related too.3
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Me:8
B:3
DBF:0
Oops. I did manage to stop myself quite a bit sooner than usual, so there's that.2 -
Tomorrow I have the house to myself, which is my biggest trigger...yet, because of how crazy the past few weeks have been, I WANT the house to myself. I just wish it didn't mean guaranteed binge urges, especially since I'm already feeling weak. I think I'll spend some time meal planning/prepping- there's something about doing that, even when I don't feel like it, that helps get my determination and hopefulness (is that even a word?) back.
OMG. I am going through a similar thing right now. I will have our place in the city (it's sort of a vacation home away from home) to myself for several days next week. I love the place. But being left alone there is a huge trigger for me.
I like your idea of meal planning. As my husband likes to point out, there IS a small kitchen there. I don't HAVE TO succumb to the hundreds of bars and restaurants I'll be surrounded by. Do I? Maybe if I plan ahead and have the place stocked with good food, it will help with the temptation to go out. Thanks for the inspiration. Good luck!
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Me: 12
B: 0
DBF: 272 -
Me: 12
B: 0
Days binge-free: 25
Doing much better now. Finally not struggling daily...5 -
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Aug 13
Me: 13*
Binge: 0
DBF: 131 -
Me: 13
B: 0
DBF: 282 -
Me: 10
B: 3
DBF: 1
Well, having the house to myself did not go well, but I know it's because I didn't prepare. What works best for me is like what you were talking about, @kowlady . If I get myself a special meal/dessert planned (something I can just heat up in the microwave or oven), I usually do okay, because I'm looking forward to that "treat," it's quick & convenient, and it keeps me from going overboard. It's when I'm sitting around, wondering what to eat and don't feel like putting any effort towards cooking, that binges become almost inevitable. I did meal plan though, and am going grocery shopping and food prepping tonight. I haven't done that in a long time so this "should" get me back on track.3 -
Aug 14
Me: 14*
Binge: 0
DBF: 142 -
I have the house to myself tonight and oh boy I screwed up
I'm in so much pain now that I can't even breathe 
what makes me feel even worse is that I fed my husband frozen pizza because I didn't want to cook and then I ate everything in the house after he had left, everything! I'm a horrible horrible person 
2 -
Me: 14
B: 0
DBF: 29
@PetitClapotis there's a lot a horrible people hanging out here with you then because we all had that story a time or two.3 -
hillmike56 wrote: »Me: 14
B: 0
DBF: 29
@PetitClapotis there's a lot a horrible people hanging out here with you then because we all had that story a time or two.
This made me smile for a second
Thank you! You guys are horribly awesome then! 
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Me: 11
B: 3
DBF: 2
@PetitClapotis - that was me on Saturday! I had an entire frozen pizza...then a friend came over and I didn't want to admit I had already eaten so we ordered pizza for delivery. I had some with her and her daughter, and when they left I had more. And then more when my husband came home. By the end of the day, I had eaten close to 2 whole pizzas, plus other things. I felt awful but like hillmike56 said, we've allllll been there. It's hard because people are always hardest on themselves, but we have to try give ourselves a break, the same way we would go easy on a friend who's having a hard time.
The good thing was that I had a moment of "okay this has gone far enough!" and it helped me rally enough to meal plan, go grocery shopping, and make dinner- such little things that shouldn't be a big deal, but they felt like huge wins considering I hadn't done any of things in several weeks.2 -
Me: 11
B: 3
DBF: 2
@PetitClapotis - that was me on Saturday! I had an entire frozen pizza...then a friend came over and I didn't want to admit I had already eaten so we ordered pizza for delivery. I had some with her and her daughter, and when they left I had more. And then more when my husband came home. By the end of the day, I had eaten close to 2 whole pizzas, plus other things. I felt awful but like hillmike56 said, we've allllll been there. It's hard because people are always hardest on themselves, but we have to try give ourselves a break, the same way we would go easy on a friend who's having a hard time.
The good thing was that I had a moment of "okay this has gone far enough!" and it helped me rally enough to meal plan, go grocery shopping, and make dinner- such little things that shouldn't be a big deal, but they felt like huge wins considering I hadn't done any of things in several weeks.
You're totally right about meal plan and prep. I was busy yesterday and didn't plan or prep any meal for myself, so when I tossed that frozen pizza into the oven I had a bad feeling of getting caught unprepared. I have to admit that I kind of set it up for myself. I fed my husband the pizza but I didn't eat it because I labeled it 'bad food that I shouldn't have'. I had a salad instead. That was a terribly stupid decision! And then I started thinking maybe I could have a little cheese since I hardly ate anything at my meal time. And then I thought maybe I could have some peanut butter since I didn't have any dressing on my salad(another stupid move). And then maybe I could have just one cookie with my tea, see ? I was keeping myself hydrated I was doing something right so I deserved a reward. Then one cookie turned to a dozen as you can imagine. And then I reached for tortilla chips even though my husband said I could only have them when he was around(he knew that tortilla chips has always been my trigger food and every time I binge I would binge on them) I didn't know why I couldn't just wait until he was back to eat them ! I felt awful for not behaving myself as I promised to him and to myself. Then I was like screw it I've already ruined everything why not keep stuffing my face until I explode...and by the time he was back I was sitting in tears and empty bags of food trying to kill myself with guilt and shame. And he has only been away for two hours!! I'm such a spoiled baby who needs constant attention and discipline and cannot be trusted ! So disappointed with myself. 2 -
@PetitClapotis - I wish I had some wise and helpful words, but I really don't. But as you can see, you're SO not alone. We have all been there. Sending you my biggest and most forgiving hugs, because I think you need the reminder to forgive yourself, that your body's chemicals are at war against you... Don't forget to forgive yourself, love yourself, and nourish yourself. Take the chance to stop this cycle every time you can. Because those twisted brain chemicals are making you feel horrifically guilty and all that jazz... Simple fact is, when you look back at your life, this event will be a tiny blip you probably won't even remember... So, please, work on cutting yourself some slack - you didn't fail, because you are here, learning from your misery, and planning somewhere, deep in your mind, your battle plan to fight back. You might still be gathering information to prepare, but your inner fighter is there...because YOU ARE HERE.
<<<<<HUGS>>>>>0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »@PetitClapotis - I wish I had some wise and helpful words, but I really don't. But as you can see, you're SO not alone. We have all been there. Sending you my biggest and most forgiving hugs, because I think you need the reminder to forgive yourself, that your body's chemicals are at war against you... Don't forget to forgive yourself, love yourself, and nourish yourself. Take the chance to stop this cycle every time you can. Because those twisted brain chemicals are making you feel horrifically guilty and all that jazz... Simple fact is, when you look back at your life, this event will be a tiny blip you probably won't even remember... So, please, work on cutting yourself some slack - you didn't fail, because you are here, learning from your misery, and planning somewhere, deep in your mind, your battle plan to fight back. You might still be gathering information to prepare, but your inner fighter is there...because YOU ARE HERE.
<<<<<HUGS>>>>>
Thank you so much! I had the urge to do a 1000 calorie hiit workout this morning but I didn't let myself fall into that binging purging cycle which I am so used to. I have a French paper due tomorrow so I'm already under pressure. Plus my husband has an event coming at work tonight so I'm gonna have dinner at home alone and the last thing I want is to tax my body to the point that it goes crazy again. So I took a walk and went to grocery shopping instead. It always takes me forever to make a shopping list or a meal plan. Just the idea of 'I got to make the right choice and eat healthy' makes me so anxious that I don't even know what I want. I plan and plan and plan and still don't have anything that I want to eat, then meal time approaches my husband asks me what I'm gonna eat and I'm just too tired to think about it. I would make him a regular normal meal that I don't eat because I don't want to eat anything unless it's carefully planned. Then I would say I'm not hungry yet so I'm gonna wait for a couple of hours and when I do get hungry I'll know what I want. The thing is when I do get hungry I also get cranky, and I still don't know what I want, so I go crazy! I think I need to work on a fixed meal plan so I don't have to drive myself crazy trying to figure out what to eat.0 -
Aug 15
Me: 15*
Binge: 0
DBF: 153
