Me Vs. the Binge -- August 2017 Challenge

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Replies

  • lamlamsmakeover
    lamlamsmakeover Posts: 6,574 Member
    @PetitClapotis you are definitely not alone! Hang in there!!
  • hillmike56
    hillmike56 Posts: 485 Member
    Me: 15
    B: 0
    DBF: 30
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Me: 12
    B: 3
    DBF: 3
  • lamlamsmakeover
    lamlamsmakeover Posts: 6,574 Member
    Aug 16

    Me: 16*
    Binge: 0

    DBF: 16

    Came close to caving in but stayed strong.
  • lamlamsmakeover
    lamlamsmakeover Posts: 6,574 Member
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 15
    B: 0
    DBF: 30

    One month binge-free! Congrats!
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Me: 13
    B: 3
    DBF: 4

    WTG @lamlam2013 !
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    lamlam2013 wrote: »
    @PetitClapotis you are definitely not alone! Hang in there!!

    Thanks I will! Stay strong!
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 15
    B: 0
    DBF: 30

    Congrats!
  • lamlamsmakeover
    lamlamsmakeover Posts: 6,574 Member
    Aug 17

    Me: 17*
    Binge: 0

    DBF: 17

    I again came close to caving in but stayed strong.
  • hillmike56
    hillmike56 Posts: 485 Member
    Me: 16
    B: 1
    DBF: 0

    31 days was not enough for me to build a strong habit. My saying for the Today "It's always too early to quit". And the quote that had gotten me through the previous 2 Thursdays is still true for me. I must choose one of two pains: The Pain of Discipline or The Pain of Regret. Overeating, too much alcohol and that pain of failure I assure you all add up to more pain on the Regret side this morning than if I could have held to the Pain of Discipline Thrusday night. You guys with with those great streaks keep remembering that or give me some better ones that are working for you and I'll begin again today trying to find the right formula for this change. Just feel like I'm so close to nailing this bad habit in its coffin.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Me: 14
    B: 3
    DBF: 5

    @hillmike56 - Sorry yesterday was rough for you, but you're still doing great! Never quit! :)
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 16
    B: 1
    DBF: 0

    31 days was not enough for me to build a strong habit. My saying for the Today "It's always too early to quit". And the quote that had gotten me through the previous 2 Thursdays is still true for me. I must choose one of two pains: The Pain of Discipline or The Pain of Regret. Overeating, too much alcohol and that pain of failure I assure you all add up to more pain on the Regret side this morning than if I could have held to the Pain of Discipline Thrusday night. You guys with with those great streaks keep remembering that or give me some better ones that are working for you and I'll begin again today trying to find the right formula for this change. Just feel like I'm so close to nailing this bad habit in its coffin.

    Hang in there! Remember every urge you've faced, all the battles you've won and all the struggles you've overcome. You didn't come this far to only come this far!
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    lamlam2013 wrote: »
    Aug 17

    Me: 17*
    Binge: 0

    DBF: 17

    I again came close to caving in but stayed strong.

    Is it possible that you've been undereating and not feeding your body enough so it's sending you signal to eat more?
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    I've been eating 200-300 calories over my caloric allowance for the past few days. Pretty much the same scenario every day, by the end of my dinner around 7 pm, I still had 200-300 caloric deficit and I was physically full after dinner, but somehow I felt like I needed a little snacks to get to the point of satiation so I kept snacking until 200-300 calories over my allowance. I knew I went overboard when I was snacking but I didn't feel stuffed or sick, and that didn't lead to binging either. And I went through my diary and found out that I could only stay within my caloric allowance which is 1280 by the way for a couple of days in a row, a week tops, then there would be a binge following my 'perfect little record' which undid all my deficit on my good days, usually I can feel the cravings begin to creep up on day 3. So I'm wondering is it possible that 1280 is actually too low to keep my body running, my blood sugar stable, my hormones balanced and my mind sane? Since I come from this binging purging cycle and diet mindset, I've lost touch with my hunger cues for so long I don't really know my body is signaling me to feed it more or it's just my mind that is messing up with me? I'm not overweight or trying to lose weight, and my metabolism is OK I guess. It's definitely not fast considering I'm petite, 5'1", 90 lbs and lead a sedentary lifestyle. I workout 3-4 times a week, hiit and strength training mostly , little if not zero cardio. I normally skip breakfast and have a relatively large lunch, not that I mean to save my caloric allowance till later of the day, I'm just not hungry till noon, so I train fasted in the morning. On my training days I eat back my workout calories while on my rest days I try to stay 1280. I don't feel hungry on 1280, but can't stick to it. Is 1280 just not enough or is it my mind and my binge problem?
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    1,280 seems pretty low, especially if you're not trying to lose weight (which, at your height and weight, I would hope you're not), and because you're working out. What does MFP say if you put in your stats and set it for maintenance? I'm not an expert at all that TDEE/BMR stuff but I would think you could eat at, or close to, that. You might see a little water weight at first but it would probably be healthier for you in the long run. I get confused with hunger signals too (real hunger vs. just wanting to eat), but I can also tell when I need to eat because, whether I'm hungry or not, I lack energy big-time.
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    edited August 2017
    Moxie42 wrote: »
    1,280 seems pretty low, especially if you're not trying to lose weight (which, at your height and weight, I would hope you're not), and because you're working out. What does MFP say if you put in your stats and set it for maintenance? I'm not an expert at all that TDEE/BMR stuff but I would think you could eat at, or close to, that. You might see a little water weight at first but it would probably be healthier for you in the long run. I get confused with hunger signals too (real hunger vs. just wanting to eat), but I can also tell when I need to eat because, whether I'm hungry or not, I lack energy big-time.

    1280 is my maintenance and if I workout I eat back my calories. I have a very petite frame it's hard to believe that I need around 1500-1600 to keep myself from binging. So confused. Am I not feeding my body enough on 1280? or it's just another excuse to justify my binge since I don't feel hungry or lack of energy on 1280.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Hmm. I wish I knew what to say! All I can think is to try writing down when the binging urges happen and what's going on/how you're feeling at the time to see if there is a correlation between emotions and binging. You could try increasing you cals a little too and see if that helps- if it doesn't help you can always decrease them again. I can relate to the over-snacking at night, and binging urges after just a few days or a week (for me I think it's some sort of self-sabotage I haven't figured out yet), but I'm much larger and a little taller so unfortunately I can't relate to such a low goal being necessary for maintenance. Maybe someday! ;)

    You might want to check out the Maintenance or Success Stories boards to find fellow petites who are going through, or have gone through, something similar. There's definitely a "omg that's too low!" mentality on MFP but I think that's just because so many people are heavier and trying to lose (and soooo many people go with 1,200 for the wrong reasons). It might help to connect with people whose maintenance goal calculates to be similar to yours, and pick their brains.
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    Moxie42 wrote: »
    Hmm. I wish I knew what to say! All I can think is to try writing down when the binging urges happen and what's going on/how you're feeling at the time to see if there is a correlation between emotions and binging. You could try increasing you cals a little too and see if that helps- if it doesn't help you can always decrease them again. I can relate to the over-snacking at night, and binging urges after just a few days or a week (for me I think it's some sort of self-sabotage I haven't figured out yet), but I'm much larger and a little taller so unfortunately I can't relate to such a low goal being necessary for maintenance. Maybe someday! ;)

    You might want to check out the Maintenance or Success Stories boards to find fellow petites who are going through, or have gone through, something similar. There's definitely a "omg that's too low!" mentality on MFP but I think that's just because so many people are heavier and trying to lose (and soooo many people go with 1,200 for the wrong reasons). It might help to connect with people whose maintenance goal calculates to be similar to yours, and pick their brains.

    Thank you for your advice I appreciate it ! What confuses me is that I don't feel hungry or lack of energy on 1280 I just WANT to eat even though I'm full, in other words, my fullness doesn't necessarily mean satiation, so it may be my binge eating mentality, or my hunger/fullness cues are really off. Don't know how it works for intuitive normal eaters. However when I do go over 1280 I can somehow naturally stop around 1400-1500 calories before it gets ugly as a binge. It's like the switch of my appetite just turns off at 1400-1500.
    I suspect that my metabolism has picked up a bit since I'm lifting weights constantly for over two years? I surely hope so although I don't think my body composition is that much different than what my fitness pal has routinely calculated for average people in my size.
  • BarneyRubbleMD
    BarneyRubbleMD Posts: 1,092 Member
    I've been eating 200-300 calories over my caloric allowance for the past few days. Pretty much the same scenario every day, by the end of my dinner around 7 pm, I still had 200-300 caloric deficit and I was physically full after dinner, but somehow I felt like I needed a little snacks to get to the point of satiation so I kept snacking until 200-300 calories over my allowance. I knew I went overboard when I was snacking but I didn't feel stuffed or sick, and that didn't lead to binging either. And I went through my diary and found out that I could only stay within my caloric allowance which is 1280 by the way for a couple of days in a row, a week tops, then there would be a binge following my 'perfect little record' which undid all my deficit on my good days, usually I can feel the cravings begin to creep up on day 3. So I'm wondering is it possible that 1280 is actually too low to keep my body running, my blood sugar stable, my hormones balanced and my mind sane? Since I come from this binging purging cycle and diet mindset, I've lost touch with my hunger cues for so long I don't really know my body is signaling me to feed it more or it's just my mind that is messing up with me? I'm not overweight or trying to lose weight, and my metabolism is OK I guess. It's definitely not fast considering I'm petite, 5'1", 90 lbs and lead a sedentary lifestyle. I workout 3-4 times a week, hiit and strength training mostly , little if not zero cardio. I normally skip breakfast and have a relatively large lunch, not that I mean to save my caloric allowance till later of the day, I'm just not hungry till noon, so I train fasted in the morning. On my training days I eat back my workout calories while on my rest days I try to stay 1280. I don't feel hungry on 1280, but can't stick to it. Is 1280 just not enough or is it my mind and my binge problem?

    @PetitClapotis ,

    Wow! What I highlighted in your post above sounds like me 2 years ago when I was here trying to lose weight. With my "stats", MFP (MyFitnessPal) had "estimated" about 1500 calories for me for a 2 lbs/wk loss (& I had 145 lbs to lose at the time) but by 3-5 days into my diet, I'd binge which would ruin any deficit I had going & I'd yo-yo back up in weight. At the time I didn't exercise much other than some occasional walking.

    When I started treatment for my Binge Eating Disorder in January of this year, I was told to bump my calories up to 2000 per day (I didn't exercise at this time at all). They felt 1500 was too low despite what MFP recommended for me for a 2 lbs/wk weight loss. That helped a lot to break that "perfect 3-day record, then binge" thing with me that kept happening over & over. I'd still binge sometimes but it would happen like once/week typically when I'd wait too long to eat my next meal. Those cravings creeping up by day 3 in my past MFP experience would happen to me too when I was restricting myself to 1500 calories--I've always use to say, if I can just get past 3 good days on my diet, I'm set!...but 9 times out of 10 a binge would happen and when I'd "make it", I'd eventually be too late for a meal which would trigger another binge & re-starting the process all over again. A high-stress day at work can also make me more likely to binge (& then binge again when I get home because I've already "blown it" for the day).

    I've tried several of these calorie estimators , like MFP has, and found that all of them underestimated the calories/day that I need to eat to keep binge eating under control as too much calorie restriction will shortly lead to me binge eating. I'm thinking that, with the workouts you do and difficulty sticking to your eating plan, that maybe the calories/day estimate that MFP gave specifically for you is just too low like is was for me--just something to consider.

    Hunger cues: when I was binging, my hunger cues were all messed up. I look back now (in hindsight) and call them binging cues because that's what they did--made me binge. I'm diabetic, but if my 2-hour post-meal blood sugar got above 140 mg/dl, I'd get hungry and if they get above 200 mg/dl I'd binge and there was no stopping it once it started! I could not rely on my "hunger" cues for eating and had to use meal timers to tell me when to eat--otherwise, I could go all day at work without eating while focused on my work (writing code) and not feel "hungry" (actually what I call craving/binging signals now) until I head for home and by then all I want is pizza & cupcakes and lots of them. The meal timers help me set (& enforce) realistic meal times to "refuel" my body (for me, since I'm diabetic, having 4 meals/day with meals separated by 3 hours worked best at stabilizing my blood sugars and keeping me satiated until the next meal) which also helped to reduce the binges. It took a while but I haven't had a binge since 5-7-2017 and no longer need the meal timers anymore since my "real" hunger signals have returned. If I'm late 30 minutes from my typical meal times, I'll feel my real hunger signal really kicking in (& "kicking my butt" to go eat my prepped meal) BUT the craving & binging signals that use to overpower my natural hunger signals are now greatly diminished. It just takes time to get there & each small step (i.e. longer and longer time periods
    between binges) helps to move one closer to reaching the point where the body's natural hunger cues can finally be noticed & acknowledged.

  • BarneyRubbleMD
    BarneyRubbleMD Posts: 1,092 Member
    Moxie42 wrote: »
    Me: 10
    B: 3
    DBF: 1

    Well, having the house to myself did not go well, but I know it's because I didn't prepare. What works best for me is like what you were talking about, @kowlady . If I get myself a special meal/dessert planned (something I can just heat up in the microwave or oven), I usually do okay, because I'm looking forward to that "treat," it's quick & convenient, and it keeps me from going overboard. It's when I'm sitting around, wondering what to eat and don't feel like putting any effort towards cooking, that binges become almost inevitable. I did meal plan though, and am going grocery shopping and food prepping tonight. I haven't done that in a long time so this "should" get me back on track.

    @Moxie42 ,

    I just wanted to say that planning ahead and meal prepping has helped me a lot in keeping my binge urges under control and keeping the cravings at bay & my hunger in check. Having something I like ready to eat when its time for me to eat has saved me from several possible binges that could have happened during the past few weeks.
  • BarneyRubbleMD
    BarneyRubbleMD Posts: 1,092 Member
    Me: 18
    Binge: 0
    Days Binge Free: 103
  • BarneyRubbleMD
    BarneyRubbleMD Posts: 1,092 Member
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 16
    B: 1
    DBF: 0

    31 days was not enough for me to build a strong habit. My saying for the Today "It's always too early to quit". And the quote that had gotten me through the previous 2 Thursdays is still true for me. I must choose one of two pains: The Pain of Discipline or The Pain of Regret. Overeating, too much alcohol and that pain of failure I assure you all add up to more pain on the Regret side this morning than if I could have held to the Pain of Discipline Thrusday night. You guys with with those great streaks keep remembering that or give me some better ones that are working for you and I'll begin again today trying to find the right formula for this change. Just feel like I'm so close to nailing this bad habit in its coffin.

    @hillmike56 ,

    Sorry to read "the binge" was able to sneak past your efforts this time but now you'll be even more determined to knock it down when it tries to rise up again.

    Back in March of this year, I had to give up alcohol--I really liked wine (Cream of Peach & Elderberry) but they really messed with my blood sugars & more often than not would trigger a binge episode for me & at some point it just wasn't worth it anymore. Now after all this time, I really haven't missed it and haven't thought about how long it's been since I've had any alcohol until I read your post.
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    edited August 2017
    @BarneyRubbleMD
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience and all this detailed information and advice ! I appreciate it <3 and I'm so glad for your progress.
    I have no problem going long time without food as I've been practicing intermittent fasting for my whole life. I never had dinner growing up, neither do my parents. When I was a kid I use to go hiking fasted with my parents in the early morning for about two hours everyday then we would have a big breakfast and lunch. Our lunch was so good and hearty that we didn't even need dinner and I never felt deprived. My grandpa, who has been living this way for his whole life, is now in his late nineties and still in perfect health. So I'm pretty used to going long time between meals. Both my husband and I skip breakfast and have no problem with hunger or blood sugar or whatsoever. Actually I'm more productive and energetic this way. Sometimes I do prolonged water fasting for a week or so, never have any cravings or extreme hunger. And hunger doesn't trigger binge in my case. It's weird that I never binge during or after a prolonged water fast but I binge after just a few days trying to stay my maintenance that MFP gave me. And I never had any cravings or binge or problem with keeping my caloric intake within my allowance last year when I was on keto(I love butter, coconut oil, nuts, eggs and fatty cuts of meat !! ). I guess my insulin and blood sugar was in control and my hormones were in a happy place then. Unfortunately when I got off keto this year, I start to have binge episodes quite often just like years ago when I tried to lose weight by starving myself and doing tons of cardio. I didn't even know what a calories was back then so I really have no idea how much I was eating. By the way I never binge on pizza or cupcakes or sweets, I would go for nut butter or tortilla chips every time.
    About my workout, I'm not doing as much as I did last year as I try not to stress my body too much, got to keep my cortisol level in control. I feel like I've gained a tiny bit of muscle and toned up a bit due to the strength training but I wouldn't consider myself 'stronger' or 'more muscular' than any regular girl of my height. So it would be a nice surprise to know MFP has underestimated my caloric need and I can actually eat more :p I'll try to post my physique once I figure out how to insert pictures in my post/reply.
  • hillmike56
    hillmike56 Posts: 485 Member
    Me: 17
    B: 1
    DBF: 1

    You new guys are really good writers. Welcome to the group, don't have time to read them all this morning but would like to circle back later with focus. Thanks for the encouragement by the way @PetitClapotis and @BarneyRubbleMD I feel back on track after my one day derailing.
  • hillmike56
    hillmike56 Posts: 485 Member
    edited August 2017
    Me: 18
    B: 1
    DBF: 2

    Finally read @PetitClapotis & @BarneyRubbleMD conversations and it sounds like you two are on different sides of the journey maybe missing something in my interpretation. I do believe and understand adding calories to totals if in starvation mode constantly. Had that issue when trying to loose weight too fast in the beginning of my journey. I believe the same thing as I head to maintenance mode I will need find the right math to keep it in this magic range I want to maintain. I love a new feature I discovered where you can set totals for days of the week. That's the calculation I'm trying to work out for special social events and weekends to keep the BINGE in check and out of my life.
  • brittdee88
    brittdee88 Posts: 1,873 Member
    Me: 15
    The B: 3

    I'm back! I had a week of 12-hour classes, so I wasn't logging on much here, but I didn't binge at all! In fact, there were a few times I couldn't even finish my meals, which is an awesome feeling! I missed you all. Happy to be back :)

  • BarneyRubbleMD
    BarneyRubbleMD Posts: 1,092 Member
    edited August 2017
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 18
    B: 1
    DBF: 2

    Finally read @PetitClapotis & @BarneyRubbleMD conversations and it sounds like you two are on different sides of the journey maybe missing something in my interpretation. I do believe and understand adding calories to totals if in starvation mode constantly. Had that issue when trying to loose weight too fast in the beginning of my journey. I believe the same thing as I head to maintenance mode I will need find the right math to keep it in this magic range I want to maintain. I love a new feature I discovered where you can set totals for days of the week. That's the calculation I'm trying to work out for special social events and weekends to keep the BINGE in check and out of my life.

    @hillmike56 ,

    This is true--I still have a long way to go. The thing to remember is, the MFP calories/day calculations are really just estimates--some people may actually need less calories/day and some people may actually need more calories/day than those estimates provide, so, it's best for each individual to tweak those #'s as they go along to find the best calories/day # to match their goal. When I started MFP, it recommended 1600 calories/day for a 2 lbs/wk loss for me but I couldn't stick to that for long and would end up on a binge. It turns out, a better calories/day # for me for a 2 lbs/wk weight loss seems to be about 2200, which is about 35 % higher than MFP recommends. I'm still "tweaking" this calories/day # as I go along by monitoring my weight loss since it might change when I begin to include some weight lifting & cardio stuff for exercise. If I had stuck with what MFP had recommended for me for my diet, I'd still be binging on occasion (probably once or twice a week) & wouldn't have lost 82 lbs (just over half way to my goal weight) and would have likely binged my way back up to where I started.

    I'll be curious to see how you get your calculations worked out for that feature of separate calories on each day of the week (I think that's only a feature of the Premium version of MFP?) but it sounds like it would be handy in maintenance, especially for a weekend where getting together socially presents more food opportunities for going overboard.
  • PetitClapotis
    PetitClapotis Posts: 92 Member
    brittdee88 wrote: »
    Me: 15
    The B: 3

    I'm back! I had a week of 12-hour classes, so I wasn't logging on much here, but I didn't binge at all! In fact, there were a few times I couldn't even finish my meals, which is an awesome feeling! I missed you all. Happy to be back :)

    Welcome back !!
  • hillmike56
    hillmike56 Posts: 485 Member
    edited August 2017
    Me: 19
    B: 1
    DBF: 3

    @BarneyRubbleMD Yes your right it is a Premium features "Set Custom Daily Goals". I think I went that route to get rid of the ads but there are some other nice features.
  • lamlamsmakeover
    lamlamsmakeover Posts: 6,574 Member
    hillmike56 wrote: »
    Me: 16
    B: 1
    DBF: 0

    31 days was not enough for me to build a strong habit. My saying for the Today "It's always too early to quit". And the quote that had gotten me through the previous 2 Thursdays is still true for me. I must choose one of two pains: The Pain of Discipline or The Pain of Regret. Overeating, too much alcohol and that pain of failure I assure you all add up to more pain on the Regret side this morning than if I could have held to the Pain of Discipline Thrusday night. You guys with with those great streaks keep remembering that or give me some better ones that are working for you and I'll begin again today trying to find the right formula for this change. Just feel like I'm so close to nailing this bad habit in its coffin.

    Don't give up. Believe me, it takes a while. Also, remember people are not perfect. I had an amazing streak a couple years ago, and I ruined it. Life happens. Things get in the way. Every day is a new learning process. Just being here every day and posting your streak keeps you accountable. It's not about the numbers though we may feel that way. It's about making changes and establishing good habits. You're doing great! Take one day at a time.