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  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,307 Member
    edited September 2020
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    Mostly just thinking out loud here, and I'm writing it down because I want to make a commitment to myself for this weekend.

    I've been wanting treats. I've also been wanting to do better at sticking to my calories. The lowest weight I've seen so far is 254.4, and I've been stuck in the 255-260 range for a long time. I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" I've never really liked that statement for various reasons, but this morning I personalized it and said to myself, "That piece of pie won't be as good as seeing 253 on the scale." Saying it that way it didn't bug me, and it also helped me chill out about the pie I've been craving. Hopefully repeating this will help me stay healthy all weekend! :)
  • AlexandraFindsHerself1971
    AlexandraFindsHerself1971 Posts: 3,106 Member
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    bobsburgersfan wrote: »
    Mostly just thinking out loud here, and I'm writing it down because I want to make a commitment to myself for this weekend.

    I've been wanting treats. I've also been wanting to do better at sticking to my calories. The lowest weight I've seen so far is 254.4, and I've been stuck in the 255-260 range for a long time. I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" I've never really liked that statement for various reasons, but this morning I personalized it and said to myself, "That piece of pie won't be as good as seeing 253 on the scale." Saying it that way it didn't bug me, and it also helped me chill out about the pie I've been craving. Hopefully repeating this will help me stay healthy all weekend! :)

    I frequently ask myself whether I want that more than I want to walk into Christmas Eve and see the look on my biosister's face when I am 75-100 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me. I can't stand the witch-with-a-B, so Christmas is the only time I see her.
  • amart4224
    amart4224 Posts: 345 Member
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    Today is one of those days where reality smacked me in the face. I had spent labor day going hiking with my parents and was wearing a pair of jeans and a t shirt, both of which had been fitting looser and I thought I looked decent in. Then today I received photos my parents took and....oh. All I can see is my huge upper arms and how tight my jeans look. Disappointing to have the vision of myself proven so inaccurate.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    amart4224 wrote: »
    Today is one of those days where reality smacked me in the face. I had spent labor day going hiking with my parents and was wearing a pair of jeans and a t shirt, both of which had been fitting looser and I thought I looked decent in. Then today I received photos my parents took and....oh. All I can see is my huge upper arms and how tight my jeans look. Disappointing to have the vision of myself proven so inaccurate.

    Photos can be brutally honest, but they can also be liars, too, and there can be a myriad of things that affects how something looks in a picture that might not be how it actually looked in real life. Lighting, the way you were standing, water retention from all the activity - so it might not be nearly as bad as you were thinking!

    And that's my gripe about jeans these days - they are made to be tight! I don't like how even classic jeans cling these days, and I can't just get them a few sizes bigger because they want to fall down after I wear them for a while. Very irritating!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    bobsburgersfan wrote: »
    bobsburgersfan wrote: »
    Mostly just thinking out loud here, and I'm writing it down because I want to make a commitment to myself for this weekend.

    I've been wanting treats. I've also been wanting to do better at sticking to my calories. The lowest weight I've seen so far is 254.4, and I've been stuck in the 255-260 range for a long time. I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" I've never really liked that statement for various reasons, but this morning I personalized it and said to myself, "That piece of pie won't be as good as seeing 253 on the scale." Saying it that way it didn't bug me, and it also helped me chill out about the pie I've been craving. Hopefully repeating this will help me stay healthy all weekend! :)
    YESSSSSS!!!! This helped me to stay on plan this weekend, and I was actually rewarded with a 253 this morning! I guess I need to personalize these thoughts more often.

    I do not care for that saying either. It fails to capture what I am trying to accomplish. Even though I am in the vanity pound range I STILL don't care about being thin. I do care about all the things that being less heavy (thinner) has done for me.

    Logging accountability works for me most of the time. When it is slipping I keep reminding myself that most of what I think about food is a lie. I believe that I need to eat x amount of something for it to be satisfying but if it does not satisfy in the first 3 bites why would more work? Because what I am attempting to satisfy is a habit and it is a habit I absolutely must break unless I can fit whatever I am eating into my calories.

    The secret is just learning how to talk to yourself. I am really over lying to myself and so I have very little patience for it now. That is why that tact works for me. I am still okay with indulging on special occasions but my regular food views need to be managed.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    My day has gone pretty good so far.....my ribs are still very sore but my head is better...I got some groceries this morning and folded some laundry, picked things up, etc....my motivation is back and my binge urges are in check for now...I still can’t swim or do much exercise but maybe I can by the end of the week...I can’t believe how much I miss the pool!...I have logged and weighed everything meticulously the past few days...I only gained a few pounds the past week...maybe I can finally buckle down and see the scales move more in a down direction...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    bobsburgersfan wrote: »
    bobsburgersfan wrote: »
    Mostly just thinking out loud here, and I'm writing it down because I want to make a commitment to myself for this weekend.

    I've been wanting treats. I've also been wanting to do better at sticking to my calories. The lowest weight I've seen so far is 254.4, and I've been stuck in the 255-260 range for a long time. I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" I've never really liked that statement for various reasons, but this morning I personalized it and said to myself, "That piece of pie won't be as good as seeing 253 on the scale." Saying it that way it didn't bug me, and it also helped me chill out about the pie I've been craving. Hopefully repeating this will help me stay healthy all weekend! :)
    YESSSSSS!!!! This helped me to stay on plan this weekend, and I was actually rewarded with a 253 this morning! I guess I need to personalize these thoughts more often.

    Good job losing those stubborn pounds!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    conniewilkins56 wrote: »
    My day has gone pretty good so far.....my ribs are still very sore but my head is better...I got some groceries this morning and folded some laundry, picked things up, etc....my motivation is back and my binge urges are in check for now...I still can’t swim or do much exercise but maybe I can by the end of the week...I can’t believe how much I miss the pool!...I have logged and weighed everything meticulously the past few days...I only gained a few pounds the past week...maybe I can finally buckle down and see the scales move more in a down direction...

    I am glad you are improving!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    so today is the first day back to work after my camping trip. And I noted something rather interesting: I thought back to last week, and realized that I wasn't have the heavy fatigue problems last week, not even mentally like I'd been fighting for a while now. I did not have a day where I was dying for a nap by mid afternoon; I can remember one day where I did get somewhat sleepy-headed and that was the day following a late night and less than 7 hours sleep.


    But today, first day back, and I actually did take flex some time to take a nap this afternoon because I was dragging so much. And I"m having to force myself to get off my rear and get ready to go mow grass; right now the thought is exhausting.

    So now I'm scratching my brain, trying to analyze what was so different. I can think of a few things:

    1) more sleep over all - except for one or two nights, I was asleep by 1 am and stayed in bed until at least 8 - so 7 hours of sleep almost every night.

    2) no regular activity; enforced rest - it rained most of the beginning so I didn't get any extra activity in. Thursday was spent pretty much just sitting around talking because of the weather. I had a lot of puttering going on, so NEAT stayed up, but nothing like what I usually do.

    3) more food - I over ate, I know it, and I was over maintenance, too.

    4) no job stress - the job didn't even cross my mind

    5) no family stress - I was away from mom and dad, especially my dad, and my sister, the latter two who have been causing some major stress in our family these days, but also my mother because of her stubborn decision to remain a victim of the other two.


    Today, back to work, and bam! - here comes the lethargy again. However, I can say that I only got around 5 hours of sleep last night. I only had about 5 the night before as well, but I wasn't having trouble yesterday staying awake or being lethargic, but I was also able to sleep in past 8 am as well. So less sleep than even last night, but got to stay in bed later in the morning.

    I'm also sitting a lot more today because of the job. I've been getting up and puttering around some, but my job keeps me tightly to my desk; the sleepy-headedness that resulted in the nap came after a long conference call in Teams.


    I would think that if the energy jump came last week because of the enforced rest and the surplus calories, that it wouldn't suddenly die off again the very first day back to work; I would think it should have just gradually went back, right? Or could it because it wasn't long enough?



    Another big difference I see is the wake-up time, and I've noticed this before - I can get 4 hours of sleep, but if I can stay in bed until 8, than I am more alert and less prone to sleepy-headedness than if I get 6 - 8 hours of sleep, but have to be up before 7 am. Its like my body has its cycle set to sleep between midnight and 8 am and just does not like nor will it accept me getting up earlier than that. I might pull off staying in bed to 7 to 7:30, but earlier than 7 and my body just doesn't seem to want to function no matter how much sleep it actually got.

    The bad part of this is that it leaves my brain in a fog and I just can't seem to think clearly. Last week, the friend and I were plotting and planning all sorts of things and I can see a sharp difference in how my mind was working last week and even yesterday compared to today.

    But I think the job itself is not helping that either because of all the sitting I"m doing.


    The frustrating thing is, while I think with this new push to diversity and inclusion and flexible work arrangements, I could probably get permission to push my start time back to 8:30. But that's going to make my work day ending at 6 pm, and I hate to lose those daylight hours. I hate how much of my daily life my job takes up!


    I'm going to give this some more thought, keep trying to get myself to bed earlier and asleep (because its not just going to bed earlier, its actually getting to sleep earlier, and then staying asleep), and consider talking to my boss about the start time thing and maybe give the later start time thing a try - at least it will be during the fall. The later start time isn't so bad while working from home, but it would be the pits while going into the office every day; I'd still have to be up by 7:30 to get into the office by 8:30, and then quitting at 6 pm would have me home around 7 pm, and that's the part that I hate - by the time I get dinner done and the kitchen cleaned up, it would be pushing 9-9:30 and bed time would be looming.



    Oh well - sorry for the rambling thinking out loud thing :grin:
  • amart4224
    amart4224 Posts: 345 Member
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    bmeadows380 wrote: »
    amart4224 wrote: »
    Today is one of those days where reality smacked me in the face. I had spent labor day going hiking with my parents and was wearing a pair of jeans and a t shirt, both of which had been fitting looser and I thought I looked decent in. Then today I received photos my parents took and....oh. All I can see is my huge upper arms and how tight my jeans look. Disappointing to have the vision of myself proven so inaccurate.

    Photos can be brutally honest, but they can also be liars, too, and there can be a myriad of things that affects how something looks in a picture that might not be how it actually looked in real life. Lighting, the way you were standing, water retention from all the activity - so it might not be nearly as bad as you were thinking!

    And that's my gripe about jeans these days - they are made to be tight! I don't like how even classic jeans cling these days, and I can't just get them a few sizes bigger because they want to fall down after I wear them for a while. Very irritating!

    Thank you for the reassuring words. I'm telling myself that, if nothing else, this is motivation for me to continue on my journey so that if we do it again on labor day 2021, I will be proud of my pictures.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    My ribs are much better today....I am going to the pool tomorrow if it doesn’t rain on my parade....today I am doing chores around the house and keeping myself busy!
  • AlexandraFindsHerself1971
    AlexandraFindsHerself1971 Posts: 3,106 Member
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    I went to the grocery store today because I put a new rack in the pantry yesterday and after arranging the pantry stock on it realized there were some things I needed to get. (I keep one extra of many staples, as I live in an area that gets snow and ice storms in winter.) I did that, put it all away, and went out for lunch to a little Mexican restaurant near me.

    I tried tongue for the first time, and liked it! It is texturally like filet mignon, with a slight gaminess like lamb. So if you like lamb, you'll like tongue, or "lengua" as it is normally listed. I had it in street tacos with onion and cilantro and a squeeze of lime.

    Came home, put some laundry on to wash, and laid down for a couple hours. I just got up, and after having some tea, will make our dinner (Roast chicken and dressing and gravy) and hang up the things that have to be hung to dry.

    I'm tireder today than I have been, but it is just ridiculously humid here and hot as well, and I just feel sticky and blah and vaguely wrong. I'll feel better this evening after it cools down. Cannot wait for fall temperatures!

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    Today was the last of the cool mornings which means the humidity will ramp back up again. I finished all my mowing though and all the yard stuff is caught up.

    I was shocked at how many tomatoes I picked today. My new garden has languished most of the summer doing not much of anything and now it has kicked into gear. It is a raised bed though and I made the mistake of filling it with too much of the really good soil. In theory it sounds good but in a 12 inch bed there is not enough moisture retention and there is no easy way to fix it once the plants are in. In order for a garden to do well in that situation it would probably need to be watered 4 times a day in very dry weather. The reason it is doing well at the moment is we had a lot of rain recently. I am going to fix it this fall so that there is no delay in the spring when it is planting time again.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    Nothing better than home grown tomatoes!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    conniewilkins56 wrote: »
    Nothing better than home grown tomatoes!

    amen! Nothing in the store can compare!

    And I've learned that eggplant is the same way - young, fresh eggplant beats the stuff in the produce section in the grocery store by a wide margin.
  • eliezalot
    eliezalot Posts: 620 Member
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    The weekend was (mostly) great but exhausting! Yesterday I worked outside for a few hours, cut and attached some more boards for the compost bin, cut the hardware cloth, and bought the wood for the lids. In the evening, husband and I went for a nice 22-ish mile bike ride again. I swear that route feels harder every week, but we're also going faster every week. When we got home, I canned my strawberry preserves. Then just before bed, I got an email from my new (kind of?) boss, basically saying that they still were figuring out the structure of our new department, which includes a "talent review, selection, and announcement of all team members," which pretty clearly implies that more layoffs are coming. We won't know anything still until October 15th. Sure makes it hard to want to do work...
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    I commandeered dad this morning to help me put in 2 door frames and 2 bifold doors so I can now completely isolate both bedrooms, meaning that if the cats get to driving me crazy when I want to sleep in, I can now shut them out of the room. Now I'll just have to learn to ignore the scratching of the door.....

    That was also for mom's benefit because while I had dad occupied, she was able to get some things done that she needed done around her yard.

    We then went down to the camp and mowed grass for an hour. After lunch, I went over and mowed grandpa's property next door. 45 minutes in, I hit a rock (there are rocks galore over there!) and bent the blade on one mower *sigh* so I took it back to the house and got my other one that I just bought off the neighbor (thank goodness!) and mowed until I just was ready to quit. I got all of it done except for the back corner which is extremely rocky and I was tired of dealing with the rocks. All that mowing included a large section that dad had brush hogged but it had been a while, so the grass and weeks were high in some places. That was another 2 hours and 20 minutes worth of push mowing, and not just a nice lot but on a hillside fighting the power through some thick brush and over rocks and lumpy ground (its not very smooth). I'm thinking I have my exercise in for the day!
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    Maybe you could change your career to a lawn maintenance person....you could work outside, get exercise and be your own boss!....you can do just about anything...

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