Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
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@emmyjaykay I'm very sad to hear about your friend's dog passing. Any time we lose an animal it's difficult, but the fact that you were watching him must have been very difficult. I hope your friend is close enough to you to not blame you for this, I can't imagine he would. Take care and stay close!1
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My boyfriend forgot my sons were coming to hang the mirror, and was awful all day. The boys were great, and we got the mirror hung, but the wall is irregular. (sigh) And I ate probably too much and didn't log it right (it was a local place's pizza, so I just guessed at how much, and probably went low). Forgot Girlfriend's food, drove back to the restaurant to get it, and when we got home they had given us the wrong order.
I'm going to have some hot tea and just breathe for a while. I might have a hot bath tonight. (Have to borrow Girlfriend's tub; we just have a shower upstairs.) And I may have to buy a new book.1 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »My boyfriend forgot my sons were coming to hang the mirror, and was awful all day. The boys were great, and we got the mirror hung, but the wall is irregular. (sigh) And I ate probably too much and didn't log it right (it was a local place's pizza, so I just guessed at how much, and probably went low). Forgot Girlfriend's food, drove back to the restaurant to get it, and when we got home they had given us the wrong order.
I'm going to have some hot tea and just breathe for a while. I might have a hot bath tonight. (Have to borrow Girlfriend's tub; we just have a shower upstairs.) And I may have to buy a new book.
I think I would have a Beefeater Martini with a handful of big olives!....hugs0 -
emmyjaykay wrote: »I had a really terrible weekend.
I knew something was up with the dog right away and FaceTimed my friend to let him know. We kept talking and I sat next to the dog and my friend made a vet appointment for the early evening but it was too late to do anything. I sat next to his dog for two hours and told him he was a good boy while he slowly passed and it's something I'm having a really hard time getting over. His sister came and we took the dog to the vet to make sure but I've just kind of been in shock and empty since. Yoga has been feeling good but that's about the only thing that is right now.
How have you guys managed this journey paired with unexpected grief?
I'm so sorry you experienced such a sad time. Please take comfort in knowing your presence meant the dog did not have to pass alone. You gave love and comfort to him in his time of need. Bless you for staying with him so he knew he was loved.2 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »My boyfriend forgot my sons were coming to hang the mirror, and was awful all day. The boys were great, and we got the mirror hung, but the wall is irregular. (sigh) And I ate probably too much and didn't log it right (it was a local place's pizza, so I just guessed at how much, and probably went low). Forgot Girlfriend's food, drove back to the restaurant to get it, and when we got home they had given us the wrong order.
I'm going to have some hot tea and just breathe for a while. I might have a hot bath tonight. (Have to borrow Girlfriend's tub; we just have a shower upstairs.) And I may have to buy a new book.
I think I would have a Beefeater Martini with a handful of big olives!....hugs
I'm allergic to alcohol.
On the other hand, there is fudge in the fridge, 2 pieces are 80 calories, and the fudge was homemade with an extra-special ingredient stirred into the butter. That's pretty relaxing.3 -
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Thought I'd add my own little rant here, it's mostly just whining, I'm sadly quite well aware of what I need to do to solve the issue!
I am currently sitting at my heaviest weight (ever) around 265lbs. 10lbs above my original start weight in 2016, I got under 220lbs in 2017, maintained for around a year then steadily gained back all the weight and more over the last 18 months. I know what triggered most of the weight gain, I have relapsed into binge eating to deal with work stress, something I was working on prior to the worldwide disaster 2020 has been.
I am angry at myself for continuing to self-sabotage, I am sad at un-doing all the hard work I put in some years ago and I feel anxious about where I am heading if I don't sort myself out.
Now that I have that off my chest, I am not all doom and gloom - I am happy that despite all that I am struggling with I haven't abandoned MFP/weight loss the way I would have prior to 2016 by eating myself into oblivion. My binge eating is in far better control than it was, my nutrition is much better and I'm in far better shape than I was 4 years ago even with the additional weight.
However, I need to stop making excuses and start being a bit more consistent in my approach to weight management.9 -
*sigh*
Water weight strikes again. I'm up 3 1/2 lbs this morning from Tuesday's all time low of 224.8 lbs.4 -
I WANT FOOD!! I'm not hungry. had good breakfast. had cottage cheese and pineapple with green tea for lunch. Still want food ... don't know what, but I WANT it!! Thought I'd distract myself by going outside and picking tomatoes, green and yellow beans, and cucumbers from the raised beds. Did 10 minutes or so weeding the beds. Came in, rinsed off the produce ... and I STILL WANT FOOD!! did about 10 minutes of walking which is a push for me because I can't do aerobic exercise because of lung issues. STILL WANT FOOD!! I've looked thru every cupboard, the frig, and the freezer ... nothing appeals. WTH!! Maybe I should just go back to bed (whine!!). ☹️6
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@cesse47 you have my sympathies - I hate it when I want something but don't know what it is!
And I'd love to go back to bed right now - its pouring the rain which makes for very good napping weather.....2 -
I have always told myself very sternly at that point that we are not going to eat our way through the kitchen looking for What I Want; unless I can come up with it, we're going to just do whatever we were doing, but I always tell myself that when I do figure it out, we'll discuss it.
Right now there are a few things that I'm just not cooking til I'm on maintenance. Cookies and brownies, for example. Or scones. But I do have sweet snacks and I can usually deal with a desire for sweets by eating a hundred calorie rice krispie treat, or eating a 60 calorie snack size candy bar.
If the desire to eat is really overwhelming and I had my calories today, then I do some mental probing around in case it's some other emotion showing up in a desire to eat. I used to eat frustration and anger and loneliness, so sometimes they still try that, and it takes some patient work to figure out that that's going on.
I get it though. I am dealing with a hormone fuelled drive to Eat All The Food Ever and I know that's just not possible, I've shrunk my stomach too much for that.3 -
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When you live by yourself you will find that your ability to do the right thing is easier. I'd rather live alone and fight the emotional eating than try to do it with people who aren't supportive of anything in my life. Know that you are in my thoughts, and I pray that you have things go the way you need them to.2
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I sincerely hope that light switch comes on soon for you...you are making yourself so sick emotionally and physically....we have all struggled on this journey to being healthy...some days are harder than others....being overweight is hard, dieting is hard....choose your hard!....please please please get with this program...some days I get by hour by hour...I would love to tell you this is easy but it isn’t easy every day...you have to want it so bad that it becomes more important than anything else!...get thru one day and then another....2
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I broke the back of the cravings monster by being poor. Once we had bought food for the month, that was it. Period. It didn't matter how bad I wanted it, if I didn't have the ingredients to make it, I wasn't going to get it. And it wasn't anyone's fault, it just was.
And I discovered that cravings do go away when you say no. You still want, but in a more distant and sensible fashion. And you can say to yourself, "I can have that next time I go out to eat," or "I'll plan to have that next time I do a meal plan up." And that's okay. Then you go out to eat on Saturday and have a sensible portion and sometimes it....wasn't as good as you thought it would be. Well, that's something to remind yourself of next time you crave it.
With me, some of what I crave makes me sick. (IBS or fructose intolerance.) I've come to the realization, often while doubled over in pain, that nothing tastes good enough to have an IBS attack over it. And it's not fun to eat a sundae while feeling nauseous and headachy and generally sick. Much better to have a small and sensible dessert that isn't big enough to cause the intolerance.
Furthermore, sometimes I wind up saying to myself on Saturday morning, looking ahead to my day, "Oh, I have to go to Restaurant X tonight, they have onion rings and I've been craving them for two weeks," and then one of my partners says, "I really want to go for Mexican tonight," and instead of pushing back for the onion rings, I'm totally okay to hang that up and go have Mexican. Because apparently the craving wasn't all that.
And once you've done that a couple times, you can then say to yourself, with history on your side, "Two days from now I won't even remember that I wanted onion rings so bad, and when I do go to the diner, I may well get fries and not even remember that I wanted onion rings, so SHUT UP YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES." (lol)1 -
I have had IBS and I agree it is awful....mine was brought on more by binging than a specific food except grease....omg I think of grease and my stomach still rolls!...many many, too many times I have eaten until I felt like I would explode....that extra food has to go somewhere because it can’t all turn into fat...a lot can but a good portion goes down the toilet...basically if you overeat like I did, you are throwing your money away!...0
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TheLastMrBig wrote: »What is IBS? And yes I've been on this journey for 4 years ...not to sound like *kitten* but I feel some assume this is my first time on this journey and that's not the case
It's been literally 4 years of mostly no success or worse stuff added
So y'all can understand where the frustration comes
Irritable Bowel Syndrome....the *kitten*!
Most of us have dieted most of our lives...gained and lost....you gotta WANT it bad....be willing to follow the plan!.....
Give yourself seven days....just do it!....seven days to see if you can stick it out...don’t worry about exercise....just eat what you are supposed to....count your calories,weigh your food and log it.....one week....then another and another....sometimes hour by hour....2 -
TheLastMrBig wrote: »What is IBS? And yes I've been on this journey for 4 years ...not to sound like *kitten* but I feel some assume this is my first time on this journey and that's not the case
It's been literally 4 years of mostly no success or worse stuff added
So y'all can understand where the frustration comes
I tried to lose my weight for 30 years. The best thing I did was throw all my so-called knowledge out of the window and go back to the beginning.
Also, I have to remind myself of very basic things at times. The irrational noise in my head tends to get loud off and on and going over the basics helps me. I doubt I am alone in this practice.
People just want you to make progress. I, specifically, just throw ideas your way and see if anything will help. I know not all of it will.1 -
IBS: Eat the yummy spinach for dinner. Awaken in the night with racking gut cramps. Going to the toilet does nothing, it's not there yet. Writhe in pain for an hour until you can begin getting it out, and spend two hours on the toilet as your gut viciously empties itself.
Then, a day later, have constipation from hell. Then a bout of diarrhea the day after. And a little more constipation, before your gut calms back down.
I no longer eat the yummy spinach.2 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »IBS: Eat the yummy spinach for dinner. Awaken in the night with racking gut cramps. Going to the toilet does nothing, it's not there yet. Writhe in pain for an hour until you can begin getting it out, and spend two hours on the toilet as your gut viciously empties itself.
Then, a day later, have constipation from hell. Then a bout of diarrhea the day after. And a little more constipation, before your gut calms back down.
I no longer eat the yummy spinach.
Quite a few years ago before I finally wised up a little bit, I had such a bad attack, I ended up in the ER and had to be admitted because I weighed over 300 lbs and you have to weigh less than that to get a colonoscopy as an out patient....I had vomited so much my throat was bleeding...I have to learn everything the hard way...Evidently I had to learn this lesson more than once...a couple of years ago I binged on chocolate and fried foods and cookies....lots of each....I was so sick I really didn’t care if I died....back to the ER and another colonoscopy....bleeding from my throat,vomiting out my nose and projectile diarrhea along with passing blood....plus I had developed a hiatal hernia that made me feel like I was having a heart attack when I ate.....thank God I came through ok but I stopped eating grease!...didnt make me stop eating much else...when I started MFP I think I was at one of the worst points in my life...depressed,lethargic,in pain and constant stomach aches....on an on...you get the picture rather graphically!...I was lucky no polyps but some diverticulitis that is controlled...and no cancer...just gluttony!...no allergies...
I am so sorry you go through this...I have no advice as I am sure you have tried everything and you are knowledgeable about your limitations...it is miserable...
Take care!2 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »Quite a few years ago before I finally wised up a little bit, I had such a bad attack, I ended up in the ER and had to be admitted because I weighed over 300 lbs and you have to weigh less than that to get a colonoscopy as an out patient....I had vomited so much my throat was bleeding...I have to learn everything the hard way...Evidently I had to learn this lesson more than once...a couple of years ago I binged on chocolate and fried foods and cookies....lots of each....I was so sick I really didn’t care if I died....back to the ER and another colonoscopy....bleeding from my throat,vomiting out my nose and projectile diarrhea along with passing blood....plus I had developed a hiatal hernia that made me feel like I was having a heart attack when I ate.....thank God I came through ok but I stopped eating grease!...didnt make me stop eating much else...when I started MFP I think I was at one of the worst points in my life...depressed,lethargic,in pain and constant stomach aches....on an on...you get the picture rather graphically!...I was lucky no polyps but some diverticulitis that is controlled...and no cancer...just gluttony!...no allergies...
I am so sorry you go through this...I have no advice as I am sure you have tried everything and you are knowledgeable about your limitations...it is miserable...
Take care!
Ye gods, that's awful. It never got that bad but well before I started to lose weight I got tired of gut cramps and wrote down everything I ate, the weather, where I was in my cycle, and the nature of what I eliminated and any other stresses in my life, in an effort to pin down all my triggers.
And as a result, I learned that I can't have most fruits or most vegetables (alliums being the grateful and delicious exception) or beans, and that I have to seriously limit my consumption of nightshades. (Tomatoes, potatoes, capsicum peppers, and eggplant.) On the other hand, my gut has settled down and I don't hurt all the time, and I only have migraines when storms roll through. I'll take it.
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TheLastMrBig wrote: »What is IBS? And yes I've been on this journey for 4 years ...not to sound like *kitten* but I feel some assume this is my first time on this journey and that's not the case
It's been literally 4 years of mostly no success or worse stuff added
So y'all can understand where the frustration comes
Like @conniewilkins56 said, you have to find something deep that makes you want it more than the instant gratification of food.
I wish I could give you the key to making it stick this time but I'm not even really sure what it is..
My story is that I want to travel, I want to see things and go places I've never been. While being big wouldn't necessarily stop me it would put a hinderance on it. In addition I've been pre-diabetic for years and I kept telling myself I could get it under control if I wanted. Then one day I was full on diabetic. That threw me for a loop. At that point I realized I was kidding myself, I needed to make real changes to be the person I wanted to be. It wasn't easy by any means. It was tough letting go of soda and candy, I would allow myself a little bit but every time I indulged I told myself "This is going to kill you" after a while it finally stuck.
All I can say is keep trying you will find it.
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I'm a couple of pages late because I took a little bit of a social media detox but I wanted to say thank you to everyone who said some kind words after I posted about the experience with my friend's dog. (Luckily, my friend has been nothing but grateful and kind about it all.)
Novus, your advice was super helpful and I related to a lot of it. My partner and I actually just got back from a spontaneous little break on the North Shore and I loosely logged but didn't care much about calories for a few days. It was a great reset for my brain, even if the sore hiking muscles and extra takeout gave me a few added pounds to deal with. (I know it's not a real gain but wow, did that happen fast.) I'm feeling a lot better about reincorporating nutrition and being a more active participant in my own journey now.2 -
TheLastMrBig wrote: »What is IBS? And yes I've been on this journey for 4 years ...not to sound like *kitten* but I feel some assume this is my first time on this journey and that's not the case
It's been literally 4 years of mostly no success or worse stuff added
So y'all can understand where the frustration comes
Like @conniewilkins56 said, you have to find something deep that makes you want it more than the instant gratification of food.
I wish I could give you the key to making it stick this time but I'm not even really sure what it is..
My story is that I want to travel, I want to see things and go places I've never been. While being big wouldn't necessarily stop me it would put a hinderance on it. In addition I've been pre-diabetic for years and I kept telling myself I could get it under control if I wanted. Then one day I was full on diabetic. That threw me for a loop. At that point I realized I was kidding myself, I needed to make real changes to be the person I wanted to be. It wasn't easy by any means. It was tough letting go of soda and candy, I would allow myself a little bit but every time I indulged I told myself "This is going to kill you" after a while it finally stuck.
All I can say is keep trying you will find it.
Exactly!....I am so glad you are improving your health!...no one can do it for you....you are doing great!0 -
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TheLastMrBig wrote: »Ever since late Friday night ... My body has been suffering from extreme hot vs cold body sensations consistently throughout day
Right now my legs and feet are cold and gets cold more than usual ....to point I put on socks . Than at night when I lay down my body heats up so bad like a furnace ... Literally, at first I thought it was acid reflux(sorry if I spelled it wrong) because I was constantly burping ...
I've been doing some googling and I'm not sure what's going on...Yes there's other problems due to high blood sugar levels
muscle fatigue, headaches, sometimes cramps in feet. I'm very aware if I don't change eating habits and portion controls .... I will lose feet,toes, legs and eventually life
Can someone that's Diabetic or knowledgable on Diabetes please tell me what's going on with my body and how can I treat it properly?
Yes I have therapy intro on August 17th and Doctors appointment on 25th of this month
No one can tell you exactly what is going on with your body. Even if there was a doctor in this group they can't diagnose from a post on a message board.
Speculation:
It may be circulation issues which, as you know, are common with diabetes and obesity. It is one of the reasons I suggested compression socks to you and making sure you move some each hour you are awake.
I am not sure how often you are in a caloric deficit but that can make a person feel cold too. I struggled with this myself but it was usually just in the winter time.
There could be something impacting your hypothalamus. I am not sure.
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