Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
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TheLastMrBig wrote: »TheLastMrBig wrote: »I want to try jogging back and forth in the yard for two reasons
1. To test and see how much stamina or lack thereof
2. To burn more calories
What I ate for breakfast was horrible and just unnecessary
I did a 22-minute walk in the heat of the day... Just got done drinking a protein shake 30 minutes ago
Now I'm trying to burn most of those calories I ate already off
I woke up this morning late ...my BSL was 274. Then I took a quick insulin shot and glutted down three sausage biscuits with hash browns
Idk why ... I wasn't even thinking of food until my mother said you got Hardee's in the microwave ...you don't want it?
I gave her same look I gave her yesterday ...when she offered pancakes
I said yes both times and paid price... I have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food
Why did I eat so much? Was I hungry or starving? No
Did I wake up with a depressed feeling? Yes because I slept in until 10 am and felt I slept my life away
Back to being positive: I had a great conversation with God during my 20-minute walk ...
No Pandora or YouTube ...Just me having a conversation with God
We are building an awesome relationship
@TheLastMrBig
You need a morning ritual to start your day living an intentional life. It needs to be something you insert into your day right after something you do when you first wake up. It needs to set the tone for how you plan to live that day. It needs to be a promise you make yourself. Once you do it you will have "shown up" and that is extremely important.
A personal mantra (said out loud) is probably a good place to start. Something like:
I will choose to live a good and happy day.
I will try to finish the day a slightly better person than I started.
I will try to finish the day in slightly better health than I started.
Add as you desire but do not make it too long.
RIGHT AFTER do something easy and quick to get in your first win of the day. Some possibilities:
1) Pre-log your food for the day
2) Some stretches
3) A stroll outside
You might be surprised at how making a audible declaration of your intentions and then following it up with a quick win will help shape your day. Try it for a week. If it doesn't do much for you then you will have wasted a few minutes and you will know to try something else.
Wow this post will change my life for greater as apply it right now to my life
I am glad to see you very enthusiastic but I caution you on thinking that the first answer (other than God) will be YOUR answer. Even if it is helpful it could be part of your answer. It is important to manage your expectations because otherwise it could lead to a lot of yo-yoing and possibly giving up on things prematurely.
Unhelpful food habits are well-established. Because of this we tend to eat things on auto-pilot. By choosing to live intentionally and trying to start your day in the right mindset and with an early win it is a step towards being in the moment more which leads to greater awareness and hopefully, over time, less auto pilot eating. Then, in time, hopefully the newer helpful food habits will gain ground and then even your auto-pilot will steer in you in a better direction more of the time. This is where I am now. It took most of my first year to get here. I still have some unhelpful tendencies but they are downsized in frequency to the point that now their impact is insignificant.2 -
@TheLastMrBig
@bmeadows380 is correct. I try to set a tone of very little judgment here. I would like to think it is judgment free but that is unrealistic.
One of my core strengths in life is that I am hard to rattle. In my life I have heard and witnessed some fairly unpleasant thing and it has had very little impact on me. The downside of this is that I am not good at lending emotional support. That is okay. There are plenty of people for that. I am the one you turn to when the house is on fire and you need someone thinking mostly clearly and calmly. I am the one that will always look past any unpleasantness and if a person needs help and I can provide it, I will.
I would also guess that you might feel the need now to go and do more good in the world than you may have done harm by a factor of 4 or more. Getting healthier will definitely assist you in that endeavor. You have my support either way though.3 -
@TheLastMrBig
I read your post and did not understand the word "catfishing". So I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary. Wow.
That's it. Wow.
Truth in lending: Folks, if you, like me, did not know the definition I would strongly encourage you to look it up.1 -
hansep0012 wrote: »@TheLastMrBig
I read your post and did not understand the word "catfishing". So I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary. Wow.
That's it. Wow.
Truth in lending: Folks, if you, like me, did not know the definition I would strongly encourage you to look it up.
I just learned the term myself this weekend. I knew what "ghosting" meant (my cousin just had that happen to her) but while I had heard the term "catfishing" I didn't know for sure what it was.
But to be honest, I'm a very suspicious person and usually expect that sort of thing online anyway; my pessimistic self rarely trusts that the individual I'm talking to online is exactly who they say they are, whether it be in video games or somewhere else. I'm not into social media at all myself, so its rather ironic that I'm so mistrustful, but its probably just more my natural tendency to only believe half what what I see and maybe 1/4 of what I hear lol
I can see where the temptation to do it would come from; I've often dreamed of what it would be like to be someone other than what I am and could see where the idea to assume one of those identities could be strong especially in a forum where it would be difficult to be exposed.
@TheLastMrBig
You have my sympathies, you really do, because I do understand the shame that comes with being big; there's a huge stigma out there whether you are male or female. But you are doing right by breaking from social media and trying to stop pretending to be someone else; the end result of being accepted for who you really are is lasting and brings much joy, unlike the fleeting happiness at having an alter-ego accepted when you know in the back of your mind that its all based on a lie. And just keep reminding yourself that God knows you more intimately than you even know yourself - He is fully aware of your dark desires, your secret sins, everything but accepts you even where you are now and loves you enough to desire to help you grow into the person you can become in the future. IT takes one step at a time and a determination to keep moving forward no matter how many times you slip up!
I say that about weight loss - the only way to absolutely guarantee failure is to quit trying at all. As long as you are trying and keep trying, there is always hope for future victory!4 -
I learned the term from TV some time ago.
It also occurs to me that @TheLastMrBig could be someone playing this role for some reason. That doesn't really bother me either. The worst that happens is that I give advice that is helpful for someone else reading it. As I said I am not easy to rattle.
Don't worry @TheLastMrBig I am not accusing you of anything. I will consider you "on the level" unless it is conclusively proven otherwise. I accept you at face value. You are imperfect. So am I.
Are you seeing a therapist for any of this? If not, you probably should. There is no shame in building a toolbox to navigate these types of situations.4 -
I'd like to second the therapy recommendation from @NovusDies here. I was never someone who catfished (though I was someone who was catfished by someone else for years) but I did spend a lot of time on the internet searching for acceptance in whatever form it could possibly take, even if it wasn't really making me happy.
I had all of my same mental health issues at my thinnest and after gaining 125 pounds during years of debilitating depression. There were huge numbers of both gain and loss in that time but the only thing that really turned around the way I felt about myself was therapy.
Self-esteem and self-love are much bigger and broader topics than weight loss. To be 100% honest, my therapist and I don't talk much about losing weight. Having that neutral space over the last 18 months to explore my mental health issues and learn how to love myself (or at least give myself a break sometimes) is the reason that I'm now able to seek and desire wellness in a healthy and productive way that's not at all punitive.5 -
When I first discovered online chat rooms I became instantly addicted...I could be anyone I wanted to be...I made up my own person with a name,age,fake picture etc...I don’t think I am the only person that has ever done this...online you can say and pretend things that you would never really do...I didn’t really “ catfish “ anyone but I certainly lied a lot and played a lot of mind games with people....at the time I can only use the excuse that I thought this is what everyone was doing!...my lies eventually caught up with me and I got tired of being someone I really wasn’t...once I started being myself I made some dear friends and met a few offline...I have a very addictive personality and I missed a lot of real life being on the computer many hours of the day in fantasy land...real life is so much more meaningful and rewarding...in the end, the truth always comes out!...I will never get those hours back but I don’t think I need to be punished for it either!...It was just a phase of my life and a form of escape...2
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@conniewilkins56 You have perfectly described by early teen years. When AOL first came out I was who I thought everyone else wanted me to be! I finally made my friends in Band and Theater in my later years of high school. I have always been such an introvert that now as an adult I don't have more than a few friends and sometimes that makes me not feel great. My stepsister has so many friends and people she talks to every day and the amount of txt messages she gets when we are together it makes me anxious and tired and it's her keeping up with all of it, not me.3
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I am here to whine... I had a really *kitten* day (week so far TBH) I think a migraine might be coming on or my depression is working overtime. I know I am going to be over my calorie limit today ... and It will be even worse if I don't workout at all tonight. It is the night before my weekly check in and it frustrates me that I am consciously making the choice to eat what I want too even with all the bad it is going to bring with it. Its like I am fighting a battle in my head. I am choosing to not eat pasta ... I am cooking zoodles instead but still going to make alfredo sauce and eat some garlic bread.3
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@conniewilkins56 You have perfectly described by early teen years. When AOL first came out I was who I thought everyone else wanted me to be! I finally made my friends in Band and Theater in my later years of high school. I have always been such an introvert that now as an adult I don't have more than a few friends and sometimes that makes me not feel great. My stepsister has so many friends and people she talks to every day and the amount of txt messages she gets when we are together it makes me anxious and tired and it's her keeping up with all of it, not me.
I have never been an introvert and I have many aquaintances but very few close friends as an adult and as you get older you lose so many friends as they die...not trying to be gruesome, just the fact...on our 25 th anniversary we hosted over 165 guests at our party....I would bet over half are deceased!...anyway I have always had a vivid imagination and the computer appealed to me!...
I am sorry you are having a bad week...I have dealt with serious depression but I have to say that losing weight and becoming more active helps...the longer you stay on track the more it becomes a habit and your normal...I have a binge eating disorder and I try to avoid foods or situations that set me off...some days are easier than others...celebrate your good days as a victory and try to at least control the not so good days....the best treat I enjoy every night is a cup of low calorie hot chocolate at bedtime...I look forward to that every day...I also hide my special foods that I don’t want to share with my grand kids lol...I always know they are there....string cheese, almonds and teddy grahams!
I hope tomorrow is better for you....” being overweight is hard, dieting is hard....choose your hard”0 -
TheLastMrBig wrote: »I learned the term from TV some time ago.
It also occurs to me that @TheLastMrBig could be someone playing this role for some reason. That doesn't really bother me either. The worst that happens is that I give advice that is helpful for someone else reading it. As I said I am not easy to rattle.
Don't worry @TheLastMrBig I am not accusing you of anything. I will consider you "on the level" unless it is conclusively proven otherwise. I accept you at face value. You are imperfect. So am I.
Are you seeing a therapist for any of this? If not, you probably should. There is no shame in building a toolbox to navigate these types of situations.
I normally would take offense to a false narrative but I have no energy to argue or debate my truth and what I share. some of you on this thread are on my friends list which means you can view my timeline. At the very most you can say I'm always whining or complaining...but I pour my heart out daily like this is my journal... I post raw and uncut thoughts ...let ppl on my friendslist read my posts and come up with a conclusion and report back here
You may have misread my post or not taken my full meaning. I believe you are telling the truth. You do not need to debate it or have others defend you.0 -
I think part of me thought my arthritis would go away with the weight loss. I will grant that it doesn't hurt as much day to day, but on a wet day like this, it's here, and making my life much less pleasant than usual. And I have all sorts of cooking and prep to do, too. (sigh)3
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WAAAAAAAAA!!! Throwing another huge tantrum about the scale. A couple weeks ago, I thought maybe I FINALLY broke my plateau and I lost for 2 weeks in a row. This week, despite the numbers saying I should have lost, I gained over 3 pounds and my last couple of losses are undone. And since the big gain, it has continued to creep upward for a couple days and is almost at 260 again. ZERO. PROGRESS. WHATSOEVER.3
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It seems that no one I know (online or in real life) is happy with the scale right now. Mine dipped ever so slightly this morning but still up 2.6 pounds from where it should be. It happened last year too. Hot weather.
My DDA on me is that I am stuck in what I call "day ahead syndrome" this week. Each day has felt like it was the next and even though I keep correcting myself on it I swear it still feels like it is Thursday today. The weekend was pretty normal so I am not sure what has triggered it this week but it is annoying that I can never seem to shake it until the week is done.2 -
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