Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I tell ya, between the heat and my meds, I am making myself eat. It's not any fun, and I don't like that. Part of what I told myself when I started this is that food can still be tasty and enjoyable, and so far over these six months I've always been ready for my delicious meals, and the only problem ever was that they tasted so good I would have kept eating if I had room.
Now, I had to force myself to eat a chicken quesadilla. Bribe myself with sweets like a small kid eating their brussel sprouts. This is ridiculous.
When I'm like that, if I'm.not hungry, I won't eat. Im not going to force myself to eat for the sake of it. Ill just save the calories for when I'm bungry
It depends on how often it happens whether or not you can get away with just ignoring it. Inconsistent eating is one of the reasons I gained weight. I have not always had reliable hunger cues. In my gaining days I have even accidentally not eaten at all for a whole day. The problem was that shortly thereafter would get ravenous and eat far more than I needed to eat to cover the missed day.
I had to learn to set minimum for calories and eat at least one meal at lunchtime each day. If my lack of hunger persisted for more than a day my second day minimum was higher.1 -
I don’t think I have ever missed a meal in my entire life!....neither rain,snow,heat,hurricanes or drought nor floods effect my ability to consume food....I guess I should have been a mail person!1
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Things cooled off a few degrees and I was able to put away four ounces of steak, two ounces of rice, and a homemade roll with butter. I'm doing better. (I still wish it were October....)1
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@conniewilkins56 I agree....unless I'm really sick, I never lose my appetite. I LOVE to eat. I could never understand people that would leave half the food on their plate.2
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I'm fairly new to the boards but liked the title of this one and need to post. I ate all my calories today between breakfast and lunch. I have 90 calories for dinner and I am hungry! Can't decide what or how to eat-just say forget it and go to bed hungry, still eat a healthy dinner even if I go over my calories, or just eat anything in the fridge (that is how I am feeling right now). Will let you know the outcome. Any advice?0
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deafenbaugh wrote: »I'm fairly new to the boards but liked the title of this one and need to post. I ate all my calories today between breakfast and lunch. I have 90 calories for dinner and I am hungry! Can't decide what or how to eat-just say forget it and go to bed hungry, still eat a healthy dinner even if I go over my calories, or just eat anything in the fridge (that is how I am feeling right now). Will let you know the outcome. Any advice?
Eat a light dinner, log it and take a five or ten minute walk....tomorrow is a new day!1 -
I agree with Connie.1
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@AlexandraFindsHerself1971 I am the exact same way... Won't eat.. won't be hungry...not a nice person. I never put it together. I do the same with my migraine symptoms. I also wish it was October its supposed to be like 105 here tomorrow. Ewww.
I got two 3 mile walks in last week Fri and Sun... But Last night I took a dive into the asphalt. I have ankles that are prone to rolling. I've got beat up hands and knees, It really limits the exercise I can do, walking hurts, kneeling hurts... tbh it all hurts! Except for my ankle.. of course, it feels fine. *insert biggest eye roll ever* I've had a good streak going and I don't want to lose it!5 -
deafenbaugh wrote: »I'm fairly new to the boards but liked the title of this one and need to post. I ate all my calories today between breakfast and lunch. I have 90 calories for dinner and I am hungry! Can't decide what or how to eat-just say forget it and go to bed hungry, still eat a healthy dinner even if I go over my calories, or just eat anything in the fridge (that is how I am feeling right now). Will let you know the outcome. Any advice?
@deafenbaugh
I always eat more and try to leave some deficit for the day. Typically these are half deficit days.
The other thing to do is review your day and decide if the outcome of leaving very little calories for dinner was easily avoidable or not. Sometimes it is just a mistake of thinking some food item was less than it turned out to be, sometimes it involves food choices that were not completely in your control (like eating at a friend or relative's house), and sometimes it is poor planning. I do do not say 'poor planning' in a judgmental way. That would be hypocritical of me. I occasionally make choices that leave me very little calories for later meals. The "me" that wants more food now doesn't care if the "later me" won't have as much to work with. I do try to be kinder to myself and avoid that scenario but I am not perfect.1 -
@tempe987: I really recommend the ASO ankle braces. These are what the NBA uses instead of ankle taping these days, and I use them whenever I'm going to be on my feet a lot. They're soft, they fit in a casual shoe easily, and they stop you from falling off your ankles and spraining one again. I have loose joints like many people on the spectrum, and I've sprained both ankles numerous times. These things are wonderful.
https://smile.amazon.com/Med-Spec-ASO-Ankle-Stabilizer/dp/B00XP3YB6I/ref=smi_www_rco2_go_smi_y4368549507?_encoding=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0&ie=UTF8
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »@tempe987: I really recommend the ASO ankle braces. These are what the NBA uses instead of ankle taping these days, and I use them whenever I'm going to be on my feet a lot. They're soft, they fit in a casual shoe easily, and they stop you from falling off your ankles and spraining one again. I have loose joints like many people on the spectrum, and I've sprained both ankles numerous times. These things are wonderful.
https://smile.amazon.com/Med-Spec-ASO-Ankle-Stabilizer/dp/B00XP3YB6I/ref=smi_www_rco2_go_smi_y4368549507?_encoding=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0&ie=UTF8
I have one similar to this and I also use a compression sleeve for lighter duty support. I found that while the compression sleeves do not do as much the fact that I can put them on fast helps. I do the same thing with my knees. If I am going to walk a short distance on a fairly flat surface I throw on the compression sleeves. If I am going to walk multiple miles or walk on more inclines I put the ones on with the stabilizers.1 -
@AlexandraFindsHerself1971 Thanks! I will look into those. I've never actually sprained my ankle. It is usually the first thing to stop hurting. I just roll them a lot. Ironically flat surfaces are the worst culprit.
@novusdies I will look into those too. I think I had something like that when I was playing tennis in HS, I seem to remember they helped.1 -
Well, I had life get in the way of my calories today in the biggest way since I started this journey.
My mom and grandma were going to come by so I could show them my vegetable garden. I'm still limiting the amount of people I see because my partner is an essential worker so I haven't seen my grandma in months. (We're really close and I'd usually see her twice a week since I like to bake and dye her hair for her. She's the only person I've deeply missed while isolating.)
My mom wanted to bring a backyard lunch over so I'd planned a manageable meal that would put me in a decent place calorically to still enjoy dinner. When she got here, she'd upped all of the sizes and added on an extra side. It's a weird feeling considering she spent most of my childhood taking away half of my normal-sized portions and giving me low-calorie meal replacement supplements out of fear that I'd gain more weight. (Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, she was doing what she thought would be best at the time and didn't realize the ramifications stuff like that would have mentally on me and my siblings. She's learned a lot since the 90s.)
Anyways. I saw my grandma, it made me feel super emotional, so I cleaned my plate. It wasn't quite the calorie count I had planned on but I guess I'll add some extra activity and chalk it up to a learning experience. I'll still have an under, I just know it's not a true one with the inflated exercise calories. It's just one day and it's good to know that I still have some work to do in social situations. I know stuff like this is bound to happen more and more as I start seeing people again.
On the plus side, my garden is really going for it, I got my first watermelon, and my grandma is still my favorite person!5 -
One of the things I've discovered is that what will fill me up just doesn't look like all that much from the outside. Yes, I really am full on four ounces of meat and four ounces of rice. (A little overfull right now, but I wanted that third crab rangoon!) I went to using a luncheon size plate all the time so what I'm eating fills the plate and doesn't look lonely.1
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emmyjaykay wrote: »Well, I had life get in the way of my calories today in the biggest way since I started this journey.
My mom and grandma were going to come by so I could show them my vegetable garden. I'm still limiting the amount of people I see because my partner is an essential worker so I haven't seen my grandma in months. (We're really close and I'd usually see her twice a week since I like to bake and dye her hair for her. She's the only person I've deeply missed while isolating.)
My mom wanted to bring a backyard lunch over so I'd planned a manageable meal that would put me in a decent place calorically to still enjoy dinner. When she got here, she'd upped all of the sizes and added on an extra side. It's a weird feeling considering she spent most of my childhood taking away half of my normal-sized portions and giving me low-calorie meal replacement supplements out of fear that I'd gain more weight. (Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, she was doing what she thought would be best at the time and didn't realize the ramifications stuff like that would have mentally on me and my siblings. She's learned a lot since the 90s.)
Anyways. I saw my grandma, it made me feel super emotional, so I cleaned my plate. It wasn't quite the calorie count I had planned on but I guess I'll add some extra activity and chalk it up to a learning experience. I'll still have an under, I just know it's not a true one with the inflated exercise calories. It's just one day and it's good to know that I still have some work to do in social situations. I know stuff like this is bound to happen more and more as I start seeing people again.
On the plus side, my garden is really going for it, I got my first watermelon, and my grandma is still my favorite person!
I don't see that as life getting in the way as much as it just being normal life. I am not even sure I see anything there I would try to fix. If it were something that happened often or if every social situation were sure to make you eat more than you planned then perhaps it is worth addressing but not if it is isolated.
When you imagine your future self will she always live a controlled food life or will she have some higher food days followed by some deficit corrections as needed? The latter is how I see the future me so that is how I have lived during weight loss. I think if I tried to be controlled all the time I would develop a negative relationship with food. I can't say that for certain but that is my instinct. It would not be true of everyone.2 -
TheLastMrBig wrote: »Rough night of sleep but it's been on my mental for probably past month at least
I'm living with two other adults 40 plus who has quit on life
One is a m.s patient and has mentally regressed from a Real Ninja Baby Boy to teenager
Who believes he's one pill or shot treatment away from walking again . He's been wheelchair bound for 6 years now , prior to that he's had it since 2005 but after 2 years was able to walk again .
He doesn't like getting out of bed, he's extremely draining with his mouth and antics and has negative impact on ppl he live with particular mother physical health
The 2nd individual is 57 160 but has the worst of it all . She's broke, entitled, conniving and treacherous. Unfortunately she doesn't want to work ever again and she lives off her son's disability check and other son work check
Outside of stealing and scary addiction of lying just because . She's depressed, miserable, bitter and is suffering physically
I'll say once a year since she's been taking care of older son . She's average one serious hospital visit. Idk specific health problems outside of iron low, high blood pressure and if I was to take a wild guess DIABETES (Unconfirmed)
As much as I don't like or Respect her ... It hurts me so much to see the demise of my mother and first love. As former mamas boy of 18 years she could do know wrong . Sadly my relationship with her turned for worst past 12 years ... Physically , mental and verbal arguments .
I want to think she purposely not taking care of herself for attention or because she wants something bad to happen to her because she hates life
She hates taking care of my brother ...
She only showers twice a month if that .
I've seen this woman with my vary eyes
Do absolutely nothing and cough her lungs out and constantly eat and drink worst foods .
I've opened up door to witness her slumped over ...in a non pleasant sleeping position
Yes I've told my 4 other siblings and yes I've tried my best to talk her into going to clinic at very least
This morning I threaten her ... Either she go to hospital by choice or force her ... She's been coughing and throwing up all through night and morning
I'm not asking for no prayers ...I'm asking y'all what would you do if you nwas in my shoes
A. Leave them two to their own demise
B. Force her go to hospital
C. Bribe her with money to go to hospital
D. Do nothing, stay and continue to learn lesson on what happens when you quit on life
I'm emotionally and mentally drained ... I'm fighting my own war for my own physical health and life for that matter. I truly believe she's very sick and ill .
She has regressed until child or teenager state of mind .
These are facts not emotional opinion
But I digress ... I haven't even factured in she might have covid19 either way she's stubborn and ignorant an clearly afraid of hospital and raw reality check that will come from it
She's not mentally stable nor physically fit to babysit nor take care of another adult
Live above the situation. Do not get dragged down into it. Be as non-judgmental as you can be. Extend to them the grace you hope others will extend to you. Set the best example you can. Be willing to help but do not consider it your direct responsibility. It is heartbreaking to watch those that we care about self-destruct but they are adults and free to choose what they do as long as they are considered in proper mental health.
If she becomes so ill that she can't really fight treatment call an ambulance. In the meantime call a social worker and have them evaluate the situation. Chances are they will be very slow to act and do nothing but perhaps not. As long as she can refuse treatment there is nothing you can do but the state can declare her incompetent and force care on her. The only other route is to get an attorney and for you I am guessing that would need to be pro bono which I am not sure is available to you and may take too long.
ETA: To sum this up: Your responsibility is to make an earnest effort to help. You are not responsible for the outcome.
You will get my prayers anyway.
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@TheLastMrBig: There is a book that I think would help you; my boyfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder, and it talks about how to deal with people who have traits and depend on others to manage their emotions. It is called, "Stop Walking On Eggshells" and there is a workbook as well. It's not to fix them; it's to help us learn new responses to them so that we don't get shredded and hurt by the pain they feel. It's available on Amazon, and I think you may find it helpful.
(I'm autistic with ADHD, anxiety, and PTSD. Boyfriend has DID and one alter has BPD, along with major depressive disorder and anxiety; Girlfriend is rapid cycling bipolar with PTSD, and she's transitioning, so she is enjoying all the effects of estrogen on mood. We have a sign up that says, "Relax, we're all crazy, you don't have to prove anything.")3
