Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
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eliezalot I'm so sorry for your loss...sending good thoughts your way...
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@eliezalot
The only thing I have found even remotely decent to say in these situations is to take care of yourself. What you and your family is going through is tough regardless of how it unfolds.
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I have avoided this thread, the title turned me off. I do my best to avoid gloom and despair to focus on the positive. I finally opened it and have been reading. There is a lot of wisdom here, for example:
For most of the people reading this thread this is absolutely true! There are people who can eat intuitively and be fine, we call those people slim. That ain't or wasn't most of us. I think coming to grips with the fact that I would never be that way and would always have to battle my instincts to eat more than I should has been a real key, maybe the most important factor, in my weight loss.But intuitive eating? I think it’s a myth. The dieter’s Shangri-La.
Anyway I will probably be back, but not with words of doom and despair!
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Thank you all for the kind thoughts. It has been a rough day, lots of ups and downs. The outpouring of support from everyone has been wonderful and overwhelming and exhausting. But I got through another day, and a bonus I stayed within my calories.3
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@eliezalot
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. The connections we have with grandparents parents are very special. Thank you for sharing this...and take care.
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This is a grumble.
I get very tired of people who weigh my goal weight and who are only maybe 2 inches shorter than me going OMG I'M THE FATTEST THING EVAR MUST LOSE WEIGHT OMG. Cause given that I'm still at least eighty pounds from goal, and still have a lot of visible fat on me, that really makes me feel awful.
I'm not feeling particularly as though I'm succeeding today; my new jeans are just a smidge too tight, and the new shirts are a little more fitted through the torso than I had been wearing, and so I feel a little big for my clothes. I have deconditioned a lot since I stopped going to the gym, and I am mortified and embarrassed by that, and if I could I would go over there and bike for a bit tonight, but Boyfriend took a nap and so I have to wait around for him to wake up so I can cook his dinner. Which is just... grr.... right now. I look forward to him getting a job so that he will stay on schedule and I can stay on schedule. (sigh)7 -
Ugh -my arm is sore! I stopped in this morning to get my bloodwork done for my up coming annual checkup and the lab tech was a student and apparently a newer one. She tried my right arm, missed the vein, rooted around a little to try to get Iran’s then had to move to the other arm where thankfully she hit it on the first try. I know it’s tricky and I don’t blame her, but my arm still hurts!
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Iran’s? That was supposed to be “in” -the things that happen when your “smart” phone tries to think ahead of you.... lol4
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Hugs. I had a similar experience. Even when you know it's coming from their own issues, it's so hard not to take it personally. (If they are that disgusting at a few pounds overweight, how much more disgusting must I be?!!)AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »This is a grumble.
I get very tired of people who weigh my goal weight and who are only maybe 2 inches shorter than me going OMG I'M THE FATTEST THING EVAR MUST LOSE WEIGHT OMG. Cause given that I'm still at least eighty pounds from goal, and still have a lot of visible fat on me, that really makes me feel awful.5 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »
Hugs. I had a similar experience. Even when you know it's coming from their own issues, it's so hard not to take it personally. (If they are that disgusting at a few pounds overweight, how much more disgusting must I be?!!)AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »This is a grumble.
I get very tired of people who weigh my goal weight and who are only maybe 2 inches shorter than me going OMG I'M THE FATTEST THING EVAR MUST LOSE WEIGHT OMG. Cause given that I'm still at least eighty pounds from goal, and still have a lot of visible fat on me, that really makes me feel awful.
That's what makes groups like this one feel like a sanctuary over the main forums; here we have plenty of people to talk to who are like us and understand our struggles. There, they may empathize and truly are compassionate in trying to be helpful, but having not walked any length in our shoes, they simply can't understand the challenges we are facing, just like I can't really conceptualize the challenges they are facing.
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bmeadows380 wrote: »bobsburgersfan wrote: »
Hugs. I had a similar experience. Even when you know it's coming from their own issues, it's so hard not to take it personally. (If they are that disgusting at a few pounds overweight, how much more disgusting must I be?!!)AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »This is a grumble.
I get very tired of people who weigh my goal weight and who are only maybe 2 inches shorter than me going OMG I'M THE FATTEST THING EVAR MUST LOSE WEIGHT OMG. Cause given that I'm still at least eighty pounds from goal, and still have a lot of visible fat on me, that really makes me feel awful.
That's what makes groups like this one feel like a sanctuary over the main forums; here we have plenty of people to talk to who are like us and understand our struggles. There, they may empathize and truly are compassionate in trying to be helpful, but having not walked any length in our shoes, they simply can't understand the challenges we are facing, just like I can't really conceptualize the challenges they are facing.
Same. Finding this group was such a relief for me! I try to avoid posts in the main forums that sound like they might go that direction, but that isn't always an easy task. In previous weight loss attempts, I'd let posts like that totally derail me. "Well if that is fat, how skinny would I have to be? That's even more impossible, what's the point."
I've worked hard to be accepting of, and most often happy with, how my body looked at my various sizes. Some of it comes naturally, much I had to fight hard to cultivate. But with every one of those posts, I feel a little bit of that confidence eroding away.
I hold no judgement of course, as everyone has their own experiences and struggles. But it saves me so much emotional energy to have people who just understand, and a place where I know I won't stumble across posts like that.
I feel your pain, and am also so thankful to have found this group!2 -
I'm with you on all of that. I'm so thrilled to finally fit into a size 10 (from a 24) and then you see others who think size 10 is HUGE! Size 10 has been my dream size since forever. But remember too that shorter people carry weight differently than tall people. 20 pounds on them looks very different than 20 pounds on us tall girls. I don't look much different than I did 20 pounds ago. If I were 5' 1'' it would be a different story.3
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@speyerj
A size 10?!!! that's tiny! I'm elated to finally be in a size 18W! And I was thrilled to fit into a 22W when I got into there, as well! lol
My brother and I were both built to carry our weight well - you'd never guess we weighed what we did, but at the same time, it also took a massive loss to start showing
Though apparently, 20 and 30 lbs are now starting to be more recognizable on me than they were before.3 -
I'm with you on all of that. I'm so thrilled to finally fit into a size 10 (from a 24) and then you see others who think size 10 is HUGE! Size 10 has been my dream size since forever. But remember too that shorter people carry weight differently than tall people. 20 pounds on them looks very different than 20 pounds on us tall girls. I don't look much different than I did 20 pounds ago. If I were 5' 1'' it would be a different story.
Yeah, my goal weight is 150, but I am a tallish (5'7"), broad-shouldered, and seriously hourglass shaped woman. "Hitch to plow when horse dies" Northern European peasant stock. (grin) Boyfriend thinks 150 is way too low, and thinks 180 is more realistic. I'll see when I get to 180 what I think. I'm not going to the gym to do cardio, I'm going there to shove weights around because I look forward to being a woman best described as a "brick house", and my partners and I all kink for me being a strong, flexible, energetic woman.
Goal sizes are an 8 or 10 on the bottom and a 12 on the top. I have "huge acres of land" to cope with, and at a certain point I'll either have to just accept that they take a certain size regardless of my waist size, or have a reduction, and I'd rather not have a reduction. I already know that I'll have to have ab surgery to fix the gap put there by three large babies, and as a lot of weight is in my belly, there will probably be some loose skin to be taken in at the same time.
I didn't exercise today. I was in a full fibro flare today, and I spent the entire day in about a 3-4 level of pain whenever I stood and moved. I just couldn't. even. this morning. I'll definitely give it a good try tomorrow, though. Even if I just go and ride the bike, I'll feel better, I know. It's probably stress; Boyfriend has a second interview for the Very Good Job tomorrow.
(And that reminds me, I need to press the shirt he's going to wear. Every little bit helps.)
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I went to my workout class and really struggled today. I was lethargic and didn’t have as much pep as I normally do. I felt like this was the first one and I was going to die! Came home and logged in to put it in and realized I had only eaten 650 calories all day. Well duh! I’m used to super low (I have a gastric sleeve and under supervision of a dr so 1200 works for me) but man that’s way too low. I had to have an after workout snack and I know I didn’t get as good a workout as I normal do due to no energy. What a waste. But I made it to the end.5
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@gwewl321 I'm sorry about the fatigue issues; boy do I know about those! Hopefully you feel better today!
My whine for today is out of frustration with myself. I'm struggling to stick to a deficit all week this week, going over and nearly up to maintenance just about every day, and its showing on the scale. Its my fault, I know it is, but I'm struggling to get it back in hand. I really, really wanted to hit 220 lbs before taking an extended diet break, but I can't get this urge to snack under control, I'm not going to make it to 220 before I am forced to pull the trigger 4 -
Being a man,,, I don't whine much
,,, I'm feeling much fitter than I did 6 weeks ago, and go to the gym 5 days a week. My whine is that for a long time, I have had 2 prolapsed discs, and it takes me a good hour in the morning before I can stand up straight, never mind exercise. Also, over the years, while compensating for my back, I've worn away my hip, and am heading for a new hip. Some days, the hip is ok, others, like today, not so much, and it keeps me from working out as hard as I want to. Whine over,,,,, have a great day everyone! 7 -
This week has just been hard. I've been working from home for the past 6 months and I thought I had convinced myself that so long as I was working remotely, I would be able to stick it out at this job. (I took this job in December and realized pretty quickly that it was nothing like what was described in the interview and not at all a good fit for me.) Working from home alleviated some of the stress and it helped that I was home with my dogs all day, able to go for lunchtime walks, etc. But this week I just completely broke down, crying on the couch every day, wondering why I'm wasting my life at this job. Previous job stress was 100% the cause of my weight gain and I really struggled to stay on my diet this week. Add to that some minor depression over being 28 and single, plus a little burnout over keeping up with the housework of a constantly "lived in" house, and I was just very down. Trying to get out of my fast food and cookies habits of this week and turn things around to start fresh for the week to come.4
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This week has just been hard. I've been working from home for the past 6 months and I thought I had convinced myself that so long as I was working remotely, I would be able to stick it out at this job. (I took this job in December and realized pretty quickly that it was nothing like what was described in the interview and not at all a good fit for me.) Working from home alleviated some of the stress and it helped that I was home with my dogs all day, able to go for lunchtime walks, etc. But this week I just completely broke down, crying on the couch every day, wondering why I'm wasting my life at this job. Previous job stress was 100% the cause of my weight gain and I really struggled to stay on my diet this week. Add to that some minor depression over being 28 and single, plus a little burnout over keeping up with the housework of a constantly "lived in" house, and I was just very down. Trying to get out of my fast food and cookies habits of this week and turn things around to start fresh for the week to come.
@amart4224
Oh, honey, I completely sympathize *hugs* when I started my first job out of college, I knew within the first week it wasn't a good fit for me, but I had been told that you had to tough it out for 2 years because "everyone feels that way". Well, I can tell you that I was even more sure after 3 miserable years in that job that it wasn't for me, and I wished I had started looking for something else long before that.
My current job is also a major source of my stress, but I'm not sure what to do about it, even though I've been wracking my brain for 13 years now on the issue. I need a whole sale career change, but that's not easy and frankly, I still have no idea what it is I'd be interested in doing; I've got a long, long list of career fields I DON'T want to do, but still can't figure out what would best suit me, and now I"m to the age where changing is too late.
I won't give you any platitudes about still being single at 28, either, because I've been there and am still there. I can just wish you well and hope you find a perfect match for you soon; meanwhile, I'm dealing with being 40 and still single and being forced to face the fact that perhaps I'm just not suited for relationships. I"m giving eharmony a try, though I'm cringing at the cost, because I was hoping that perhaps a pay-to-use service might have better quality candidates since you have to pony up good money, but so far, nope. I chatted with a few guys back in the summer, but the conversations fizzled out, and the one that I liked pretty well ended within a month because of irreconcilable worldviews. Otherwise, its been pretty much dead. The candidates within a close mileage of me are not good at all and completely incompatible with me. I am talking to one gentleman right now, but we are very far apart and while I'm enjoying the conversation because we have a lot in common - including worldviews - the distance is a big hindrance. Plus he likes the city and I like the country, so while I'm enjoying the talking, I'm also not expecting much to come of it.
I told myself since eharmony makes you sign up for a certain period and there are no rebates - if you sign up for a year, you're going to pay for that entire year, so since I'm already paying for it, I'd keep it going for that year, but I'm not renewing it after that time is up. If I can't get a good lead in that year's time, then I've told myself that's my answer on whether or not I"m meant for a relationship. I'm already working on psyching myself for a future as a single person......
I'm cringing at the price, really - it really does feel like a waste of money, but since everyone kept telling me "oh, you should try it" I thought that I probably should at least give it a serious effort one time before calling it quits; that way I could at least tell those people that I did try and it didn't pan out.6
