This January “I Will...”. NEWCOMERS, begin here!
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Hi Everyone! Before I post my February goal, I wanted to update you on my January goal, to write my nursing home bound parents brief notes 4 times a week. Did it! Having everything assembled on my dining room table ahead of time has made all the difference. I didn’t have to go looking for stamps, pens, address labels or anything else. Everything I needed was right there. And because I am using small 3 x 4 blank note cards, there isn’t much writing that I do. Just a few sentences to let my parents know I’m thinking about them and any updates on my day to day life. Each card can be written, assembled and ready for the mailbox in 5 to 7 minutes. Because it’s such a tiny habit, easy to fit into my schedule, and requiring no motivation on my part, I sent out 20 cards to my parents in January!
And they both told me over and over again how much they loved the cards. So I’m motivated to keep writing!
Last year I kept thinking I need to write my parents more. That this is one thing I can do for them to make the horrible situation of living in a nursing home in a pandemic better for them. But I couldn’t shake my belief that I just needed to sit down and write them 2 to 3 page letters several times a week. I needed to find a time to make that happen. And it never did. No letters got sent out.
But when I structured my January habit using the principles habits researchers recommend: shrink your habit initially, make it as easy as possible to implement, set a cue and reward, and then repeat, repeat, and repeat... that’s when the cards started flowing.
Dr. Wendy Wood says we are all two people: an intellectual, cognitively driven person and a habitual person. The problem most of us have when it comes to the goals we want to achieve is we listen to our intellectual side when we should be turning over our goals to our habitual self. Our habitual self knows how to make things happen. Our intellectual self keeps us stuck in thinking that we can write 2 to 3 page letters several times a week. And then nothing happens. I’m really glad I turn this over to my habitual self.
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@themedalist that was an awesome post that you wrote!! And well done!! on writing those cards to your parents. You are so right about how we can over think and stretch a tiny or easy potential habit into a monstrous and complicated one that won't ever get done.
Shrinking a possible new habit initially is such a good idea. I somehow missed that concept. Thank you!
It was so good to turn on my computer and to see that you posted! You are missed here. Take care of yourself and I look forward to when you can post again.
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