Online Dating
Replies
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There's always going to be bad with good. I accept that because I have no other way to meet anyone I want to date. I work from home, so no coworkers. I don't hang out in bars anymore-I'm past that and besides, even if I wasn't, most of my friends are either married or just not into the bar scene either. I workout at home and don't belong to a gym.
As you can see, I don't really have much opportunity to meet anyone. So I'll stick with the online dating thing (I am signed up at Match and okcupid) and hope I eventually meet someone that I like and who likes me back.0 -
Maybe I am just skewed because I live on an Alaskan island with few females; but don’t women have it easy by picking whomever they want (whether on-line dating or in regular life)?
Shouldn’t just be as easy as seeing someone you are interested in (having screened for whatever criteria you set), and assuming he (or she I suppose) is not married or otherwise not available, just point and say “you’re with me”?0 -
This is my online dating add:
I am 3'6, 400 pounds, no teef, prematurely balding. I am a conservationist so I shower once a week, I have no job, no car, no place to live, so I hang out in my parents basement. I prefer 70s disco fashion to modern trends, oh and chicks dig me!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am disappointed that I didn't get any hits with the above profile:sad:0 -
I had dabbled in online dating in the past, America Online in the 90's, craigslist, etc. I decided at the beginning of 2011 that I had to make a concerted effort to meet people. My friends are mostly married or not local so I am not really out and about enough to meet anyone naturally. I don't go to hook up bars and don't make eyes at people and try to get them to buy me drinks if I do go out. I am only on Plenty of Fish right now. I was on OkCupid but got hardly any interest.
The reality of online dating, at least in Los Angeles, is that if you are overweight and honest about it, some people won't even see your profile. They can filter it so they only see profiles of slim, athletic, average. I have heard from guys who have been doing it a lot that they end up doing that because women who put average, or a few extra pounds were 100's of pounds overweight. It sucks but not everyone is open to dating heavier people though for some it is a preference. I think it's a good forum to meet people, but it's also very hard and you have to have thick skin. There are a lot of choices so guys and girls that just want to hook up or serial date or get free dinners, have plenty of people to choose from. So I think it's just a matter of patience and hoping that someone you like will also like you. It's hard because I get a lot of messages from people that aren't my type at all as well. And to be honest, I think that other cultures do tend to be more open about women with extra pounds or curves so if you are looking for caucasian men (not in a racist way of course), they are not as often open to curves.
But some are, and there's someone for everyone I hope. There's nothing wrong with opening your options to whatever avenue helps you meet someone. But you will get dishonest people, and you will get guys that will send you a picture of their penis as soon as they get your email or cell phone number. And some just go on to pass time but aren't going to really actively take interest and go on a date or just want to text when they are bored or hit you up every few months and not follow through on anything. Like anywhere, if you get put in a room full of people or at Target, you are only going to maybe think you want to date a few out of hundreds It's all window shopping to an extent and unfortunately you can't tell chemistry from a picture and paragraph. Some people do better in person. I know I've been attracted to people in person because of pheromones, personality, etc. that I wouldn't look twice at on a picture or on the street. Go in with an open mind and don't take rejection or non messages as a measure of your worth. And message people you like instead of waiting for the guy to do it. There are hundreds of profiles to sift through, people may only get past a couple pages at a time. The more you have your profile seen, the more likely to get wanted attention. I'm hoping it works for me eventually, but there are nice, normal people out there so at least you can have a good conversation and hang out if there is not a love match. 0 -
Online dating can work for some people. It is not my thing. I have had really bad expericences whereas, other people I know have had great ones. One of my friends is married, 2 kids later, and had initally met online. POF I have never tried but mostly from what I have heard is people just looking to "hook up". To me that is just nasty. Call an ex if you're that desperate. lol jk0
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Its hard for guys to meet great women because there are way more men than women on there. But then again with my profile, no wonder why I never met anyone.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=227495960 -
OMG Cal, I just LMAO reading your profile. The *kitten* tree comment killed! See now? Why can't I find a handsome, funny, sarcastic man like you up North here!? (And of course close to my own age)0
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I have heard from guys who have been doing it a lot that they end up doing that because women who put average, or a few extra pounds were 100's of pounds overweight.
The male equivalent of this is height. As in adding a few inches and hoping the girl won't notice. For me, I don't really care how tall someone is, but if they lie about it, the deal's off. In my opinion, if you lie about something so superficial, what are the odds the rest of your "life story" is true?0 -
Maybe I am just skewed because I live on an Alaskan island with few females; but don’t women have it easy by picking whomever they want (whether on-line dating or in regular life)?
Shouldn’t just be as easy as seeing someone you are interested in (having screened for whatever criteria you set), and assuming he (or she I suppose) is not married or otherwise not available, just point and say “you’re with me”?
Yeah. I wish. I think I might move to your island if I ever get interested in dating again. Because it sure doesn't work that way around here!0 -
Thank you so much for the laughs! I love your profile, honesty and sense of humor!!! I think I'll be laughing all day!!!0
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Haha Plenty of Fish. I tried that one once, even though I had no intention of dating, I put my profile up, being brutally honest about my various shortcomings and of course my weight. I figured I would get zero interest. Instead I got a flood of messages from men...old enough to be my father, living in trailer parks, with that look on their profile pic that says lots of drugs, drink, and hard living.
No thanks!
Yeah I did the same thing on Okcupid because a friend told me to do it with her and it was the same for me. I am sorry I do like guys who are older than me but not old enough to be my father. It was a waste of time so I deleted it.
I'd be okay with certain older guys. Lefty activist college professor types, for instance, but otherwise, nuh uh! No way!0 -
I got a message from a guy last night..he said " you're not a bad looking girl but you have to show your teeth in pictures!"
Calgon, take me away!!!!
haha what a tool.0 -
Its hard for guys to meet great women because there are way more men than women on there. But then again with my profile, no wonder why I never met anyone.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=22749596
Your profile is brilliant.
that is all.0 -
I got this last night:
After looking at your pics you need to workout harder. Kidding, Your cute.
Yeah, sorry. I don't think that was funny at all. And this came from a rather doughy looking gentleman. I didn't reply. I should reply though and say "I think you need to work on your grammar/spelling". LOL0 -
Its hard for guys to meet great women because there are way more men than women on there. But then again with my profile, no wonder why I never met anyone.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=22749596
Your profile is brilliant.
that is all.
agreeed! lol0 -
I got this last night:
After looking at your pics you need to workout harder. Kidding, Your cute.
Yeah, sorry. I don't think that was funny at all. And this came from a rather doughy looking gentleman. I didn't reply. I should reply though and say "I think you need to work on your grammar/spelling". LOL
OMG that is so wrong (the message from the guy). Absolutely reply…0 -
I got this last night:
After looking at your pics you need to workout harder. Kidding, Your cute.
Yeah, sorry. I don't think that was funny at all. And this came from a rather doughy looking gentleman. I didn't reply. I should reply though and say "I think you need to work on your grammar/spelling". LOL
Reply and say, "my cute what?"0 -
I got this last night:
After looking at your pics you need to workout harder. Kidding, Your cute.
Yeah, sorry. I don't think that was funny at all. And this came from a rather doughy looking gentleman. I didn't reply. I should reply though and say "I think you need to work on your grammar/spelling". LOL
Reply and say, "my cute what?"
Ha, good one!0 -
I haven't tried, but if I were really looking for a relationship, I would absolutely employ it as a tool to help meet someone. I'm glad a lot of the stigma of online dating has dissipated in recent years. I would, however, be very careful about it and which site I got on. If you're on the cheaper sites, or the free ones, you're necessarily going to have more spam and horror stories than if you get on a quality site which is going to be a bigger investment for anyone who joins, meaning someone wanting to be horrible won't get on unless they're really dedicated to being horrible. I actually started a few test accounts on different sites to see what they were like, eharmony, chemistry, match, zoosk and howaboutwe. I really liked the format for howaboutwe, and you can do a fair amount for free on there, but when I looked at the people there, it made me a bit wary, even of the people who seemed much better. Eharmony, however, was by far the best, and the profiles of people seemed the most genuine. So yeah, I'd use a dating site, but only eharmony, with the potential for (extremely carefully) trying howaboutwe.
Another thing I'd be inclined to try as an alternative, and potentially much better one, is singles groups on Meetup.com. I've had pretty good experiences on Meetup, but I haven't tried a singles group. That would just involve going and hanging out with a group of singles a few times, letting some friendships grow, and from there, a relationship.0 -
I've tried okCupid, Zoosk, POF, and Match. I've had a few dates, even one I saw constantly for about 3 weeks. Nothing ever really that great though.
So I've just decided for now I am going to concentrate on me and if something happens cool. Otherwise I'll pick back up later. Don't know if it will be online or in a bar or what. Fairly new at dating anyway as I was married to my high school girlfriend for 10 years.0 -
@gupton82, Ive found that meetup.com is a great place to meet women. Its easier to meet women at art crawls, museums, conventions, shows, sporting events, and any other special events going on. The online thing is filled with way too many people trying to cheat, looking for sex only, or just bored.0
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looking for sex only, or just bored.
And?
LOL just kidding!0 -
looking for sex only, or just bored.
And?
LOL just kidding!
lol0 -
I was actually looking around on a dating website last night. One major turn off, is when someone can't be bothered to type out relatively proper sentences in their profile. Same deal, when someone messages you with "hey waz up u look cute wanna chat". Right, I want to chat with someone who can't be bothered to put a tiny amount of effort in. Sigh.0
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ITA Kit. I don't even reply to those silly "emails". It's not that difficult to think of something to say in regard to my profile or whatever. If I email someone, I will say something about the sports team the like, or workout they mentioned, or something light. It's such a small effort!0
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I had mostly bad experiences. People are only looking for sex the majority of the time it seems, and when you are overweight and tell those guys no... they are less then friendly. I did have one great experience though and it made it worth while to deal with-we would have been together forever I think had it not been for an unfortunate event. I don't do online dating anymore though.0
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Its hard for guys to meet great women because there are way more men than women on there. But then again with my profile, no wonder why I never met anyone.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=22749596
Your profile is amazing and your tiny little dog is cute!0 -
I recently deleted my POF account because I was tired of the whole process. There are steps to online dating:
1) Diligently search out pictures of people you think are cute and interesting
2) Send out a few feeler messages with your fingers crossed
3) Read through the bazillion crappy messages where comments are made about your breasts (even though they aren't showing), your smile, their penises, etc.
4) Reply to the few messages that seem genuine
5) Talk on the phone or text with the prospective date for a week
6) Go out on the date and be prepared to answer the exact same questions you have answered over and over and over
7) Have the person tell you that he is very interested in you and he will call tomorrow.
8) And the HUGE shocker, no follow up phone call
9) Do this a few times until you realize that dating is not fun if you are jaded.
Ooops, do I sound bizarrely bitter here? lmao No really, that is essentially my POF experience. I decided that I am worth more than feeling the way I felt on POF. I need to work on me and if I meet someone, fabulous but at the moment, I am not ready to brush off the hurts that happen along the way. Maybe I will do it again when I am more comfortable with me.0 -
I recently deleted my POF account because I was tired of the whole process. There are steps to online dating:
1) Diligently search out pictures of people you think are cute and interesting
2) Send out a few feeler messages with your fingers crossed
3) Read through the bazillion crappy messages where comments are made about your breasts (even though they aren't showing), your smile, their penises, etc.
4) Reply to the few messages that seem genuine
5) Talk on the phone or text with the prospective date for a week
6) Go out on the date and be prepared to answer the exact same questions you have answered over and over and over
7) Have the person tell you that he is very interested in you and he will call tomorrow.
8) And the HUGE shocker, no follow up phone call
9) Do this a few times until you realize that dating is not fun if you are jaded.
Ooops, do I sound bizarrely bitter here? lmao No really, that is essentially my POF experience. I decided that I am worth more than feeling the way I felt on POF. I need to work on me and if I meet someone, fabulous but at the moment, I am not ready to brush off the hurts that happen along the way. Maybe I will do it again when I am more comfortable with me.
At least you got emails lol... Very rarely did anyone email me first, or even read them when I emailed. My friend gets like 5 new people a day. Kinda a blow to the self image.0 -
Really? From girls? Most of the guys I talked to said they never got messages. They had to do all the contacting.0
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