widows and widowers welcome
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Sounds like you are really involved in your community. That's wonderful, and, like you said, a way to stay connected with people. I too have a heart for seniors. I volunteer at one of the local nursing homes. Every Sunday after Sunday School, which for me is 10am because I go to the 8am worship service, I go, gather up several of the residents, and have a good old sing-a-long of the old hymns. They love it. And, even the ones who can't remember their names, can sing these old songs. It's amazing and touching. I'm so glad I get to do that.
I live in East Tennessee, about half way between Knoxville and Johnson City. It's really beautiful here, in the foothills of the Smokey Mountains. This is where I grew up and moved back after I retired from the AF. I love the changing seasons, but never too much snow to handle...and it usually only lasts a few days at a time. Now, this year is a different story. It has been really warm this winter and we've only had a flurry or two of snow. That's very, very unusual. Spring is my favorite time of the year...love to go hiking or just poking around in the woods on my farm, looking for the beautiful wild flowers.
Hope you didn't blow your diet too much with the breakfast bar. I know anything Paula Dean cooks is yummy and loaded with calories. I guess that's why it's so good. lol As long as you didn't overdo it on anything, I'm sure you'll be okay. And, you know what, if you happened to have gained a half pound or so, don't feel guilty about it. Just enjoy the food and then work extra hard the rest of the week to get it back off. (Just don't overdo EVERY day.) I figure there's no need to eat something if I'm going to beat myself up about it. I just eat it, knowing that I have to be extra good later, and really enjoy the moment!
Just finished my run for the day. Need to do a couple of things and then hit the shower. Have a great evening.0 -
Hey ladies... I just realized that I was checking my mail for responses to this and not going into the original post... duh! Sounds like this is going to be a good place for all of us.
I have been a widow for 11 years. My husband died in August of 2000. Seems like an eternity and yet, seems like yesterday. I still miss him everyday but my heart does not hurt as it did the first 3 or 4 years. Fortunately, I have two great kids and I am also blessed with 2 step granddaughters.
My son is in Milwaukee and I don't get to see him as often as I would like but we raise them to fly... I am very proud he is becoming a very proficient adult. I see so much of his dad in him that it makes me smile!
Luckily for me, my daughter lives close as does one of my step granddaughters. I spend a lot of time with my daughter. She lights up my life. She plays Roller Derby . Her derby name is Zooma Thurman. It is good exercise for her and it is helping her lose weight, also! She joined my TOPS(Take off Pounds Sensibly) group with me, in January. She has lost 21 pounds and I have lost 19. MFP has been the key for my weight loss. I love the app on my phone. I religiously put anything I consume, on MFP.
I am glad we have this group... Happy losing!0 -
Patti, I was wondering where you had been. hahaha I do stuff like that all the time.
John died in July 2006, so I've been a widow for almost 6 years. And, I'm just like you are....some days it seems like forever, but some days it feels like it was yesterday. Not the intense pain, but just can't believe he's actually been gone that long.
Does TOPS have any tricks that might be helpful to know? Or, are you sworn to secrecy and can't tell us. It sounds like you are doing a great job. Nineteen pounds since Jan is wonderful! Keep it up and you'll be at your goal weight before you know it.
I was not good over the weekend. I traveled to WV for a funeral on Sat and so ate poorly on the road. But, on Sunday I was down from my Saturday weight. I also did not eat well on Sunday....usually don't because I eat lunch at my mom's. I may have consumed 2000 calories, at most. Well, today, I was up 1.4 pounds. It's just so frustrating to be able to gain at the drop of a hat and take forever to lose it. Knowing me, it will take all week to get that 1.4 pounds back off, even though it should be water weight and not fat. It's just the way my body functions, or so it seems. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised in the morning. I'll let you know.
Have a great evening.0 -
Ha Ha... TOPS isn't a secret society... LOL... basically just like Weight Watchers except that it is non profit so it costs $25 to join and our group charges $6 dollars fees a month... each group is different with that cost. There are TOPS chapters all over the world. Google it if you are interested in joining one near you. We win money for losing weight, so it is conceivable to lose weight and make money if you lose. We have contests that cost a dollar to join and the person that wins might take home $15 or so... It is good incentive. Each week we choose a no/no and a yes/yes... for example... no/no may be no chocolate. For each time you eat chocolate you pay a dime to the kitty. That money goes towards the group trip to the state conventions. An example of a yes/yes could be eat more fruit or drink more water... we do not pay for that one! There is some kind of weight loss program each week so it can be quite inspirational. I go mainly to be held accountable for my eating. I know that each Thursday I have to be weighed by Maggy and that keeps me on the straight and narrow.
I use the MFP... totally for my eating plan. It has worked very well for me so far.
I have been struggling with a large weight gain, due in part to a struggle with hip problems which led me to be totally immobile for more than 2 years. I had hip resurfacing in June of 2010 and it has taken me a while to bounce back... just as my hip was healing and I was about to take off the weight I was diagnosed with both Graves Disease and Hashimoto's disease. This means I have BOTH high and low thyroid. I am in 2% of the world. I go to the head guy at the University of Michigan and he has been in this field for over 25 years and I am only his second case of this ... go figure! I kept telling him that I don't eat enough to gain all the weight that I did... Unbelievably, once I started MFP I realized that I was only eating about 600 calories a day... so basically I was putting my body into starvation mode which made it nearly impossible to lose. I have to force myself to get 1200 calories in a day,and most days I do. I just don't have a big appetite. I did, however, drink copious amounts of Coca Cola which I have stopped. This has been the hardest thing for me to do. I let myself have one coke a week as a scheduled cheat. I also allow myself to have a scheduled cheat meal and that helps me to maintain for the rest of the week. I usually have that meal on Friday or Saturday so I have the rest of the week to get it off!
I have lost almost 40 pounds since surgery but only 19 of it on the MFP plan. It is much easier to lose since I made this my main focus. I am so thankful that I found MFP and my new friends online!
Have a good day, tomorrow! Pattie0 -
Well, I was very pleasantly surprised by my weight this morning. Not only did I lose all that I put on Sunday, I lost an extra .2 pounds. So, I am now at the lowest I have been since I seriously started trying to lose! Yeah me! hahahah
Pattie, I can see how you would gain a lot of weight being totally immobile for 2 years. And, isn't it amazing how you can gain weight, or at least not lose, when you only eat 600 calories. I too have problems eating 1200 calories some days. I think when I'm not paying attention to what I eat, I eat more than that, because I tended to mindlessly eat high calorie snack foods, like peanut butter. But, when I log the amount and eat better, I'm almost always under 1200 at the end of the day and have to make it up someway.
Do you feel special, being in 2% of the population? That is just bizarre. I have a neighbor that had cancer and now, because of the chemo has a problem with her bone marrow. They have to periodically give her blood. They are having major problems finding matches because her blood type has actually changed. No one they have spoken to has ever seen that before. Weird things can happen to the human body, that's for sure.
I too lost 5 pounds before joining MFP. I've thought about going in and putting my highest weight, so it'll show the total weight loss, but I haven't. I'll just stick to what I lose this year. Way to go on your 40 pounds. That's amazing. Keep up the good work. TOPS sounds like fun, but I live out in the boonies, so I try to limit my trips into town. I can do this without it, I hope. Having MFP friends to help me be accountable helps.
Have a great day.0 -
I will hold you RESPONSIBLE!!! How is that for friendship? I did 45 minutes tonight while watching Survivor and playing angry birds! I worked today so was in a hurry at breakfast so just ate a cup of cottage cheese. I took a Kashi Go Lean TV Dinner for lunch and it was actually good. I stopped at Subway and had a chicken flatbread for dinner. I am still full, unfortunately I have 598 calories left after I exercised... ahhhhh ... I don't want to eat this late... any suggestions. I weigh in tomorrow so I have to be very cognizant of any salt that goes into my body! I really retain water! Unfortunately, both of my lunch and dinner choices have more sodium than I should have eaten... oh well. Better than a Whopper for lunch!
Have a good day, tomorrow!
Pattie0 -
That's perfect friendship. lol
I never eat all of my exercise calories back. I'm just usually not that hungry. But, I do eat at least 1200 calories a day. If you haven't reached that point yet, nuts or peanut butter is a good, healthy choice to add calories. I eat Simply Jiff peanut butter. It has less sodium and sugar than regular and I can't tell the difference. And, if you are hungry, esp., you need to eat. That would be your body telling you that you need more fuel.
Good luck with your weigh in tomorrow. Let me know how it goes.
Have a great day.0 -
I was really surprised this morning when I was down a pound from yesterday. My body must be in a weight loss spurt, or something. That's now 10 pounds down, with 10 to go. I'm so excited to be back into the 140's, even if it is 149.8 pounds. I hope I don't start the yo-yo of 1 to 2 pounds. We'll see.
Wow, just realized how negative that last statement is, after being excited. I'm not going to do that to myself. I'm happy today and today is what matters. Not tomorrow!0 -
Just had to let you all know that I achieved one of my goals today.....I ran for 30 minutes without stopping on the treadmill this morning. :happy:
Hope you have a great day.0 -
Hi ladies!
I've been out of commission for a while. I took a week off work and got some painting and stuff done around my house. Which is all good. It's nice to change things up.
But last Thursday my husband's brother had a brain hemorrhage and is still in the hospital and unresponsive. His wife is my best friend and I think this family has been through enough.
Sorry to vent, but I'm ready for things to start getting easier and I don't see that happening.
On the positive side ... I met with a dietitian at Kaiser today regarding my kidney function and she was very impressed with the way I've been eating and I learned a few tips to help me lose some weight and still keep my protein down. So ... that's good. I actually get to add more protein to my diet.
I love protein!
Congrats on your 30-minute run on the treadmill. I'm pretty sure I'd fall over dead if that happened to me! ;-)0 -
Wow. You had a roller coaster kind of week, didn't you. I'm happy for you that you were able to get some work done around your house. That was a hard thing for me to do after John died. I have a "keeper" personality and really didn't want to change anything. But, I finally got there. It's also great news about your diet and kidney function. Keep up the good work there!
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. I hope things are going better for them. I'll pray they will and that God will give them peace, comfort, and wisdom...as well as the doctor's wisdom and skill.
Hahaha about falling over dead if you did the treadmill for 30 minutes. I'm now trying to run outside, on the roads by my house. It is a lot different, so I'm going to have to start the process all over again. But, I'm hoping I can skip some of the steps and make it to 30 minutes before 5 months. I just have a hard time breathing when I'm outside and, I think, pacing myself. I wind up running faster, I'm sure, and that tires me out quicker. Then, there is no "down" button when I'm tired of the hill I'm running up. lol
Hope you ladies have a great day.0 -
I am sorry about your brother in law, please keep us as your back up yelling posts... I, for one, would be glad to hear how you are feeling. I am sure you are frustrated and sad... Try not to head towards food to make yourself feel better. In the long run, you will not feel better! Know that we are here for you ! That is why I started this group. We can vent here.
Way to go QYOYO! That is amazing~ YOU GO GIRL!!!
I went to TOPS tonight and lost an additional 2.2 pounds which makes my loss to date on MFP at 22! Yea! Yea US!!!
Keep your head up Juliego. I will be thinking of you and your family. Pattie0 -
Great job Pattie!!! Keep up the good work!0
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I'm am SO loving the energy in this group. I'm not logging on often enough. But I'll keep you updated about the family situation.
Jim (brother in law) is still in limbo. Hasn't fully awakened yet. Vitals, scans, MRI and other tests are good and things are very, very slowly improving. I dont' have much knowledge of strokes, but what I've learned in the last 10 days is that it's a slow, slow process. The doctors are being very careful in bringing him to the surface to avoid any more damage. He's still intubated and taking baby steps toward consciousness. The brain has to heal and that's what they're letting it do. My biggest concern right now is some kind of weird hospital-based infection. I hear about it all the time. Hospitals are the worst place to be if you're vulnerable and have a compromised immune system.
Anyway ... I'm proving as much comfort to my sister-in-law as I can. She's my best friend and we don't have any problem communicating. She has been over for much needed rest and a few meals. Since I'm becoming such a health freak lately, she has no choice but to eat properly at my house. It may include a few glasses of wine but that's okay ... right? I mean!! We gotta relax a bit!!! ;-)
I finally got off my ever-expanding butt today and took a good 2-mile walk with my dog. Afterward did some light strength training (crunches, leg kicks, very mild squats so I don't hurt my poor knee). And I feel good. My goal is 4 days a week of this and then increase to some more intense movement after a few weeks. My calorie intake is good and I'm getting excellent nutrition on my new kidney-friendly diet.
Just have to keep the stress intact ... and you ladies are helping with that.
Thank you for your good wishes and prayers. It means more than you know.
Have a great Monday!!!
Julie0 -
I know it must be frustrating for the recovery of Jim to be so slow. But, we have to trust that the doctor's know what they are doing. I'm glad all of his vitals are good. That's encouraging. Will continue to pray for him and your family.
I'm glad you can be supportive for your sister-in-law. Just being able to be there and listen to her vent is helpful, I'm sure. And, to be able to provide healthy foods instead of "comfort foods" is really a help too. Good nutrition will help her feel better and help her to be able to cope with the stress better. (And you too. I know this has to be tough on you so soon after your husband passed. When things pile up on top of each other, it can be very overwhelming. So, I'm glad you are taking care of yourself too!) Being tied to the hospital is NOT fun...I know from experience.
I'm glad you got yourself up and moving. Exercise is a great stress reliever and a great alternative to comfort foods. It really sounds like you are doing great! Keep it up and please, keep us updated. Hope you all have a great Tuesday!0 -
Hello Ladies, I don't know if I will fit in or not but I am a Widow. I am 34 years old with 2 sons (9 & 5). I lost my husband of 13 years last September to a 3 1/2 year batte with Liposarcoma cancer. I have known that I need to lose some weight for several years. It just seems to have kept creeping up on me. Dr appointment this week and was stressed that I need to lose some weight as my liver enzymes are way out of wack. I do take a cholestrol med (linked to hypothyroid - meds too) and that could be part of the problem, but need to get the weight under control to find out for sure. I have about 70-80 pounds to lose. I joined a long time ago and did not stick with it. Friend mentioned an app for this site and now I have been on here for the last couple of days.
I hope I am not crashing the "party" but didn't really feel like any of the single parent boards were for me yet.0 -
You're not crashing the party at all. You are very welcome to be here. I am so sorry for your loss. It must be really hard to deal with your grief and raise two small children. I know this group will be here for you on your journey...of grief and weight loss.
Congratulations on getting started. You can't go anywhere if you don't take that first step, and you have! I suggest you count your calories as accurately as possible, eat at least 1200 calories a day, probably more on most days (follow MFP's suggestions), and start moving every chance you get. You'll feel better and the pounds should come off. Probably slowly, because that is how a permanent weight loss happens, not overnight.
Welcome again, and come back often to let us know how you are doing.
Gotta go. I'm working today and need to have breakfast and get out of here. Hope you have a good day!0 -
Hi Beckster! I'm pretty new to this group also. It's a nice place to be. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband. Like the others, I'm a widow also. I lost my husband of 26 years last October. Just passed the 6-month mark. Not an easy journey. But these ladies will help us, right?
That said ... my birthday was yesterday and I have been a very naughty girl. My BFF and I went out for Mexican food and ate every single bite of the cheesy, beany, fried tortilla stuffed with seafood goodness. AND a bottle of wine.
Then today someone brought me the best cupcake I've ever had in my life. It was chocolate with salted caramel icing. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with that cupcake. It made me a little too happy.
I'll be back on track tomorrow ... right now I'm enjoying the pleasure of enjoying food. If I don't lose weight this week, that will just have to be okay. I'm not even gonna try to track what I've put in my body the last two days. I'm not sure the calorie counter goes up that high.
For those keeping score ... my brother in law is improving. He's becoming more alert and staying "awake" for longer periods. Recovery is happening and we couldn't be happier. Breathing a little easier right now.
Have a good Thursday.
Welcome again Beckster!0 -
Greetings!
I've been a widow for a year plus. My husband died from esophageal cancer... he fought it for a year and a half. I knew it was a death sentence so my grieving began with the diagnosis. My dad died a few months before my husband. It was a very bad year. I am coping fairly well. I am a teacher, therefore, I am busy. I gained wt. as my husband lost wt. I then proceeded to comfort myself with food until the scale hit a number that I will admit at a later date. I will take some time to reread your posts and get to know my fellow dieters. I think I have found a way to gain back some control.0 -
JulieGo, So glad to hear the news about your brother-in-law. I know recovery from this type of thing can be slow and hard to deal will. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers and please continue to update us.
As for celebrating your birthday, I say GOOD FOR YOU! It sounds like you have a great attitude about it.....eat, enjoy, no guilt, then back on track. I, for one, see nothing wrong with that! I have done similar things and have been okay. I say, if I'm going to feel horrible about eating something, that just ruins the experience, so I don't. If I eat, I enjoy, and then get back on track the next day....or so. lol Just don't make it a habit.
Heyjudev13, Welcome! So glad you have joined our little group. I think you will find some good support here. So sorry to hear about your losses. When you have more than one in a short period, it just compounds the grief. I'm not sure if I had posted this or not, but my husband died of a primary brain cancer. Way too much cancer in this world....any cancer is too much, if you ask me. So, I really feel for you and will be here for you.
What age do you teach? About 8 months after John died, I started volunteering at a local school. Being around the kids was the best medicine for me, especially the little ones. I'd always get group hugs from the Kindergartners and that would lift my spirits. I know being a teacher, you may not get a lot of hugs, but I hope you get one every once in a while. I now am a substitute teacher and some of the days can be trying, to say the least. :laugh: But I still get hugs and love it when the students are disappointed that I'm not going to be their substitute.
So glad you have decided to start a healthier life style. Let us know how we can help. As I have said before, joining MFP and this group are great first steps and you have to start somewhere. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.0
