My Dating Tips!
Options
Replies
-
Hmm... Really?
Kudos to you :flowerforyou:
Good thing I do
My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Dating tips =/= boyfriend tips
It's compulsory to do this at the dating stage for a guy, but at the boyfriend stage this is a completely different ball game. You technically don't have to do this anymore, since you've generated enough attraction with the girl (so she will be grumpy, but will still want to see you).
Harsh to hear, I know... but true.
"Make her feel important and that you care."
They are just tricks that allow a man to make a woman feel important, which she might (or not) be in the man's eye.
I died a little inside when I read your post...
I'd hope at the boyfriend stage I wouldn't be "told off" for not using the "dating arsenal" anymore - we should be beyond this (and also, it can be quite draining with some girls to be in "dating" mode permanently).0 -
Obviously the statement I made was the generalisation and Allan mentioned 70/30 which you said worries you. Just curious to how quickly you would become annoyed if the percentages were reversed?
I'm a chatterbox by nature, and I find that (gulp, I hate to admit this) a lot of the time when people let me just run on and on they really don't care, are just being polite. Or they’re bored but trapped. Or they’re humoring me to try getting into my pants. Or sometimes they just genuinely care about me, know I like to talk, and are giving me that space because it makes me feel loved.
So I actually enjoy more of an unequal split with a guy, where he’s doing most of the talking. With a girlfriend, that's different- 50/50. But I hate it when I'm being a bore, don't realize it, and the guy's not gonna tell me but he's actually thinking about other stuff. If the other person is more engaged, then you know they're enjoying themselves. Which is probably why Allan suggested the 70/30 split.0 -
"Make her feel important and that you care."
They are just tricks that allow a man to make a woman feel important, which she might (or not) be in the man's eye.
I died a little inside when I read your post...
Guys: Don't pull BS like ^^ !!!!
I was engaged to a guy who always made sure I FELT important but in reality, I wasn't really all that important, and it is one of the worst things you can do to a girl. I promise. In dating, sure there's a polish over everything but be freaking genuine. Don't lie, don't try to cover if you really just aren't feeling it. Don't get someone's hopes up or lead them on.
Okay, off the soap box. Dating tips hmmm... well in response to some earlier posts haha....
1. If a guy shows up in dress shoes he will probably not ever see me again. I'll almost definitely be in a casual dress and sandals (I'm 5'8'' so I avoid heels because guys get weird about it) but I prefer guys who show up in jeans, cowboy boots, and a casual button up shirt to be honest. I love me some country boys
2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.
3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.
4. Along with number 3, don't assume she's a girly girl haha. Actually listen to her... if she starts talking truck engines or automatic rifles don't question your luck just run with it. The conversation will curl back around to more "dainty" subjects, but don't dismiss what she's saying because she's a girl. My friends know the one way to rile me up the fastest is to jokingly say "ssshhhh...men are talking" because they know I'll get mad. Don't worry, there's plenty of girl in me to scream at cockroaches and hide in your shoulder during a scary movie. haha
0 -
I'm buying a kilt.0
-
[/quote]
So I actually enjoy more of an unequal split with a guy, where he’s doing most of the talking. With a girlfriend, that's different- 50/50. But I hate it when I'm being a bore, don't realize it, and the guy's not gonna tell me but he's actually thinking about other stuff. If the other person is more engaged, then you know they're enjoying themselves. Which is probably why Allan suggested the 70/30 split.
[/quote]
Yeah we are talking about the same thing, unless the girl is mega confident and outgoing, I will be the one that will lead the conversation between the 2 of us.0 -
I'm buying a kilt.
Yeah you have sweet quads so all good.. Not me with my chicken legs :P0 -
I'm buying a kilt.
I could pull off a kilt, but damn, when would I wear it? I've thought, St. Paddy's, because people are generally ignorant, and it would be fun to prove it. But otherwise? I'm not a window washer after all.
:drinker:0 -
I'm buying a kilt.
Yeah you have sweet quads so all good.. Not me with my chicken legs :P
I only wear kilts that cover my knees. Lady like and all that 0 -
I've gone commando wearing a kilt onstage before. Probably wasnt a good idea considering the wedding dance scene.0
-
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
I haven't had a chance to read all these posts... but my thing is being punctual... I don't like when a man shows up late or anyone really. That could just be me though. Recently my friend went on this date and the guy showed up late an hour... if that had been me I would have thought he wasn't really into me. Not to mention he texted her at the same time he was supposed to be there. ??? SMH :noway:
I equally like a man who smells good and dresses the part. I get dressed up for dates and smell good so I expect the same, that's a given. I wear dresses sometimes and if I was thinner I'd probably rock them on every date. ha...
That's my two cents...
0 -
2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.
3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.
Definitely agree with these two, and I think they are related.
I don't have a no kissing on the first date rule because I think if I don't want to kiss you (or you don't want to kiss me) at the end of the date, we have a problem.
But generally speaking, I think you're right about the necessity of distinguishing between dating and hanging out with a friend. I am not going to feel any romantic chemistry with a man who treats me the same way my male friends treat me.0 -
2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.
3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.
Definitely agree with these two, and I think they are related.
I don't have a no kissing on the first date rule because I think if I don't want to kiss you (or you don't want to kiss me) at the end of the date, we have a problem.
But generally speaking, I think you're right about the necessity of distinguishing between dating and hanging out with a friend. I am not going to feel any romantic chemistry with a man who treats me the same way my male friends treat me.
That's all good and well but how do you let the guy know the difference, he doesn't know what your male friends are like. There would need to be a different vibe from you as date too I guess. I would be pissed for getting friend zoned for something as trivial as acting like a friend. Kinda defeats the purpose of getting to know someone if you automatically friend zone the guy because he acted similar to your male friends on one occasion...0 -
I don't mean acting like a friend as in being friendly. Obviously if it's a first date, there are limits to what you can do without coming off like a total perv.
One of the big things for me, and I've mentioned this before, is that I will not meet a date at a restaurant (unless I met the guy online, which I've never done). To me, that's not a date. That's two friends getting together for dinner.
I don't expect male friends to pick me up, to pay for dinner, to pull out my chair, to open the car door, to walk me to my front door, etc. As the previous poster said, if you're not doing any of that stuff, you get friend zoned because there's no difference between you and all the other guys I hang out with.
I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.0 -
I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.
Not exactly. Really depends on the stage of the relationship. Watching movies together isn't friend zone if there's passionate kissing and more involved. If one person makes a meal for the other that they eat together before the movie, that's a couple like activity.0 -
There wouldn't have been passionate kissing involved, and he knew that. Not because I didn't like him or find him attractive, but we did not meet under the auspices of dating and had not been on a date at that point.0
-
That's crazy! Watching a movie is almost code for watching half of a movie and making out during the other half. I rarely watch movies with people that are just friends.I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.0 -
You all make this too complicated. :laugh:0
-
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I'm a shoe person for men. I had this happen. I was dressed in a nice top, nice jeans and my new cute heels. He showed up wearing New Balance tennis shoes that looked like lawn mowing shoes. I wanted to die!!!0 -
That's crazy! Watching a movie is almost code for watching half of a movie and making out during the other half. I rarely watch movies with people that are just friends.I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.
Absolutely haha...
And what I meant was exactly what she is saying, it's all just about being clear on what you're both sort of thinking. I hang out with the guys all the time. I do plenty of "date" activities with guy friends every weekend, so to me it's nice to have someone make it actually feel like a date! Be a little touchy (not gropey, just a touch here or there), flirtatious, gentlemanly. In return I act much more girly while on dates than I do with the guys, hence a dress and makeup and jewelry instead of yoga pants, flip flops and a baseball hat. But I'm also more of a straightforward person and if I feel like things are confusing I'll probably just come right out and ask what's going on haha.
PLUS, I've come to realize that a lot of guys in their early-mid 20s love FWB situations, so if they act like one of my guy friends and then want to get physical, to me it feels like they are just looking for a hook-up not a date.0 -
I'm buying a kilt.
I approveYou all make this too complicated. :laugh:
No kidding!0
