Woman Claims to be a 'Former Lesbian'
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????Although, they should have at least tried playing Madonna records.0 -
Many efforts have been made, mostly under the umbrella of religious thought, to find a way to "cure" someone of homosexuality. These don't usually end well, and are pretty traumatic to the victims.
But how can we discredit those who say it has worked for them?If she feels happier now, well, good for her, but she doesn't need to spread the idea that other should or could follow in her footsteps.
If she believes her story to be accurate, she has just as much a right to tell her story and encourage others to follow in her path as someone to believes the opposite.0 -
I don't think anyone is debating with you on whether or not she has a right to tell her story.If she believes her story to be accurate, she has just as much a right to tell her story and encourage others to follow in her path as someone to believes the opposite.0 -
I don't think anyone is debating with you on whether or not she has a right to tell her story.If she feels happier now, well, good for her, but she doesn't need to spread the idea that other should or could follow in her footsteps.
Uhhhh...might be semantics, but...0 -
Sharing her story is one thing. Telling people that it can happen "if you want it bad enough" is very different.Uhhhh...might be semantics, but...0 -
Like I said. Semantics.0
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Oh, and Rock, here's another piece where the head of Exodus Int'l (the gropup with whom Janet is or was affiliated) states pretty explicitly that no one there thinks that they can change sexual orientation:
http://gay.americablog.com/2011/03/head-of-exodus-tells-lisa-ling-you-cant.html
It's just about celibacy.0 -
Many efforts have been made, mostly under the umbrella of religious thought, to find a way to "cure" someone of homosexuality. These don't usually end well, and are pretty traumatic to the victims.
But how can we discredit those who say it has worked for them?If she feels happier now, well, good for her, but she doesn't need to spread the idea that other should or could follow in her footsteps.
If she believes her story to be accurate, she has just as much a right to tell her story and encourage others to follow in her path as someone to believes the opposite.
to me, hearing this is sort of on par with hearing someone tell me they lost 50 lbs by going on the HCG diet. I cringe, and hope they will be the exception. But experience has given me the insight to realize those 50 lbs are likely to reappear.0 -
Bump for later0
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I believe someone's sexual orientation can change. I think sexuality is pretty fluid actually (no pun intended). I think one can be born with tendencies toward being homosexual, but I see no reason for that necessarily to maintain as a constant throughout their lives.
I am, however, more than a little skeptical that someone can make a conscious decision that they want to change and have that be effective. Sexuality and sexual orientation are really complex topics both on a personal level and how we view sexuality as a society. The fact that self-reporting comes into play in a big way can be another complicating factor.
I recall seeing a story in the UK were some stereotypical straight guy had a stroke and woke up gay, and he's quite happy being so. So who knows?
I think the real problem is if someone feels like something in themselves is wrong (or it's otherwise clear that something is wrong0, how do we go about addressing that. If it's that they're alcoholic, that's one thing. But the mistake I think that gets made is making a comparison between homosexuality and various disease that isn't valid.
Lots of people who condemn homosexuality see it just as a behavior and don't understand the degree to which identity is involved.0 -
I didn't click on the link, but here's my two-pence worth anyhow.http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/06/04/former-lesbian-says-change-possible
There isn't much to this video, basically the woman claims to be a born-again Christian and was "healed" from being a lesbian.
As a heterosexual, I can't "get inside the heads" of homosexuals. 99% of the time, homosexuals will say that they were "born this way," and "can't change." I accept that.
Here's my question: If someone says they have changed, how can I not also accept that? I can't really know how people feel in the hearts either way.
I am a gay man. I cannot imagine not being homosexual and I do believe this was my fate. Now, whether or not that was biologically predetermined at birth, I think I can certainly say it wasn't nurture, i.e. I wasn't encouraged to be gay but neither was I discouraged from playing with the girls and their girlie toys but none of my male childhood friends are gay, as far as I'm aware nor are any of my siblings and cousins.
I no more chose to be gay than a heterosexual chose to be straight.
I was also raised in a pretty secular environment. My parents who used to go to church, certainly didn't go regularly after I was born. My paternal grandmother, on the other hand, was a very pious woman and she would take me to church and I have attended Sunday School classes whilst in her care. Even at an early age (7-8yrs old) I understood the hypocrisy of praising the evil little sod who bullied other kids and terrorised neighbourhood pets, simply because he could walk upright with the bible on his head. From those earliest encounters with so-called Christianity, my opinion about organised religion took shape and have not changed dramatically over the years, although I do have many friends who are 100% committed to their faith and in some ways I envy their unquestionable dedication to it.
While for me personally, the idea that my faith and/or belief system could radically alter who I am and somehow make me into a different person is quite an alien concept. However, that doesn't alter the fact that I have changed; I am not the same person I was 20-30 years ago and most recently I've changed from being a slovenly glutton to someone who exercises and has learnt the concept of moderation.
So, getting back to Rock's original question and the matter in hand: it may be that the lady in question had always questioned her sexuality - we'll never know that and she's not about to tell; what is certainly clear is that she has adopted a new faith which has become the backbone to her entire belief-system and as such she has chosen to forego her previous lesbian inclinations and now feels more comfortable within a heterosexual relationship. Certainly her belief in Christ has affected that change and she has every right to believe that her new-found faith can "heal" others too.
Likewise, there are folks who do find a new path in life, be that through religion or exercise and fitness, and in committing themselves to that new regime, it may challenge their perceived wisdom and they may embark on new relationships. Just as there are lots of MFPeeps who are pretty evangelical about their new lifestyle changes and who preach the gospel accordingly, denouncing anyone who dares come up with a suggestion that runs counter to their diet and fitness regime.
Ultimately, I do find it sad that in this day and age, a person's sexuality is still demonised by certain religious organisations and is still perceived as some kind of ailment which can be cured, but I'll also defend their right to hold those beliefs as long as in doing so, nobody is hurt or persecuted or excluded from enjoying the life they wish to lead.0 -
Ultimately, I do find it sad that in this day and age, a person's sexuality is still demonised by certain religious organisations and is still perceived as some kind of ailment which can be cured, but I'll also defend their right to hold those beliefs as long as in doing so, nobody is hurt or persecuted or excluded from enjoying the life they wish to lead.
Brilliantly said.0 -
You know what, you're right. Maybe she really did change. Maybe anyone could change. The problem lies when someone changing because they want to change becomes looked at as a "cure" for homosexuality. People like that take it to the next step that gays shouldn't have the right to get married because they can change if they want to. Even if they could (and I don't think most gays could change any easier than most heterosexuals could suddenly decide to become gay) - why should they have to?
Believe her then. The problem with this, though, is she's claiming that others can do the same thing.But my point is, if there were someone that said that they could "change" to being homosexual, how do I know that they're wrong, other than my personal belief?
Edit: scratch that, I don't want to get off topic here.
Claiming that others can do the same thing is simply the next logical step from what she already believes is true.
What I may or may not personally believe isn't the issue, the question is do I have anything to go on other than my belief.
I've been married for 19 years. I'm sure if I wanted to I could go out and find someone else and fall in love with them. But why should I have to give up my relationship and start a new one just to have some rights just because someone finds our relationship "icky"? That's the ultimate goal of people like that woman. She wants to "cure" homosexuality. They want to justify their bigotry and discrimination by saing "See? You don't haveto be that way. If you want rights then change and be like us."0 -
Excellent analogy!Many efforts have been made, mostly under the umbrella of religious thought, to find a way to "cure" someone of homosexuality. These don't usually end well, and are pretty traumatic to the victims.
But how can we discredit those who say it has worked for them?If she feels happier now, well, good for her, but she doesn't need to spread the idea that other should or could follow in her footsteps.
If she believes her story to be accurate, she has just as much a right to tell her story and encourage others to follow in her path as someone to believes the opposite.
to me, hearing this is sort of on par with hearing someone tell me they lost 50 lbs by going on the HCG diet. I cringe, and hope they will be the exception. But experience has given me the insight to realize those 50 lbs are likely to reappear.0 -
I believe there are a number of factors--from genetics to upbringing--that can influence one's sexual orientation. I also think that gay people for the most part are really, really gay--they are not just play acting.
There are also people who go through temporary periods of same-sex attraction -- again, for a variety of reasons. I had a couple of (extremely) minor roles at a professional theater for several months after I graduated from high school. Many of the younger male actors adopted some "gay" mannerisms as a way to advance their careers with some of the older actors and directors. My daughter went to an all-girl college in Massachusetts. They had a special term for those who adopted a different lifestyle as a social convenience--LUGS (Lesbians Until Graduation).
Since there can be different factors involved, it's not suprising that the same people who were confused about their sexuality at an earlier time are now going to claim that they "prayed away the gay". Sorry--same addiction, different drug IMO. I don't consider this woman or those like her to be "gay". The fact that you might have engaged in gay sex at one point or even lived with a same-sex partner does not make you gay. Being gay is not defined by sexual acts. It's who you are and for most people who are gay, there is no question.
As far as someone's "right to speak", I guess I have to say "yes", but with extreme reservations. For an individual to sit in their house and make a video to say "I prayed away the gay and you can too" is obviously OK.
For such positions to be supported by established organizations or political parties who can control and shape public policy--not OK. Trying to force a child to "cure their gay" is tanamount to child abuse. As a society, we wouldn't tolerated burning their arms with lighted cigarettes--why should we tolerate doing it to their psyches?
As for "proof"--this is really no longer a debateable question, except for those who persist on making it one. Almost all relevant professional organizations have denounced "raparative therapy" for over a decade.
Here is just one example:The American Academy of Pediatrics, American Counseling Association, American Association of School Administrators, American Federation of Teachers, American Psychological Association, American School Health Association, Interfaith Alliance Foundation, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Social Workers, and National Education Association formed the "Just the Facts Coalition." They developed and endorsed "Just the Facts About Sexual Orientation & Youth: A Primer for Principals, Educators and School Personnel" in 1999.
The primer says, in part:"The most important fact about 'reparative therapy,' also sometimes known as 'conversion' therapy, is that it is based on an understanding of homosexuality that has been rejected by all the major health and mental health professions. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Counseling Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the National Association of School Psychologists, and the National Association of Social Workers, together representing more than 477,000 health and mental health professionals, have all taken the position that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and thus there is no need for a 'cure.'
"...health and mental health professional organizations do not support efforts to change young people's sexual orientation through 'reparative therapy' and have raised serious concerns about its potential to do harm."0 -
I don't think it's true. I'm a firm believer that people are born homosexual or heterosexual. It's not a decision you make. As a gay person, I can't imagine being straight. I have always been this way.. and I also have no interest in becoming heterosexual or being "cured".. ugh, cringe.
I think this is a temporary situation for this woman.0 -
I don't think it's true. I'm a firm believer that people are born homosexual or heterosexual. It's not a decision you make. As a gay person, I can't imagine being straight. I have always been this way.. and I also have no interest in becoming heterosexual or being "cured".. ugh, cringe.
I think this is a temporary situation for this woman.
Temporary - well maybe for as long as she keeps profiting from it.
You can purchase her video and other merchandise at her website: http://www.janetboynesministries.com
You can also leave a donation to help Janet save all of us poor SSA people:
"The number of people reaching out for help has grown at an overwhelming rate, and we are in need of expanding our financial partnership base. We ask for your financial support to allow JBM to expand its outreach efforts to help more people go from bondage to sin, to freedom in Christ."0 -
The two thoughts that come to my mind are this:
Either she is bisexual, and now just choosing to deny one part of that,
OR
She is trying really hard to not be gay, and shoving it down, but sooner or later, it will come back up....it always does....
Reminds me a bit of Emmett from Queer As Folk.......shame really, that we live in a world were everyone can not just be happy the way they are.....0 -
i think people are missing the point that she wanted to change. She obviously wasn't happy living the homosexual life so she looked for a way to change that.
Here is the hypocrisy, when someone who was straight comes out, it's celebrated. When a homosexual turns straight, it's met with suspicion and the thought that there must be something wrong with that person. Yet being straight is the natural biological order of things, it's what perpetuates the existence of the human race. Our bodies are designed to produce succeeding generations and not pair off with people who have the same bits and pieces. She just went back to what is natural.
Grill me all you want, but you cannot argue against nature. Of course I'm not saying people shouldn't be allowed to be gay if they so choose, that's their choice.
Why someone would think this makes religion looks bad is beyond me. Maybe it helped her become a happier person, that should be respected and celebrated. She is doing what the gay community tells us all-be who you are.
My brother is a homosexual and has been trying to get out of it, he's told us numerous times how unhappy he is. This is not to say all gays are unhappy, but this is a side of the story that is never told.0 -
i think people are missing the point that she wanted to change. She obviously wasn't happy living the homosexual life so she looked for a way to change that.
Here is the hypocrisy, when someone who was straight comes out, it's celebrated. When a homosexual turns straight, it's met with suspicion and the thought that there must be something wrong with that person. Yet being straight is the natural biological order of things, it's what perpetuates the existence of the human race. Our bodies are designed to produce succeeding generations and not pair off with people who have the same bits and pieces. She just went back to what is natural.
Grill me all you want, but you cannot argue against nature. Of course I'm not saying people shouldn't be allowed to be gay if they so choose, that's their choice.
Why someone would think this makes religion looks bad is beyond me. Maybe it helped her become a happier person, that should be respected and celebrated. She is doing what the gay community tells us all-be who you are.
My brother is a homosexual and has been trying to get out of it, he's told us numerous times how unhappy he is. This is not to say all gays are unhappy, but this is a side of the story that is never told.
not sure if srs?0
