I confess- Single Peeps version
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I think you need to understand that some races are oblivious to a lot of things that make other races uncomfortable. People use slang or degrading terms all of the time without even realizing they are degrading. That doesn't mean they are racist or insensitive, it just means that they are ignorant.I confess I have a lot of catching up to do... just wanted to vent for a minute... I will commence catching up tomorrow...
I'm on vaca with BB and his family. It's not going well. They're all from the south, don't appear to be racist, and so did not understand why I had no interest in touring Beauvoir (the Jefferson Davis home). Even BB thought I was being a little over-reactive. He didn't understand why staying in this nephew's room with all the dixie flags and "SCV" and "DSV" memorabilia made me uncomfortable. I told him if the news had been delivered to me with a healthy appreciation for the irony of a black girl touring all these confederate sites I would have laughed it off. But the fact that they have no clue irritates me. Even if you consider it all "historical" you should still have appreciation for the fact that some places I've lived (like Montgomery AL) still have "black doors" and "white doors"
I still went though. Had a good chuckle at all the "The South was right" propaganda. BB did too, but I noticed he only cracked on it to me privately, not to the rest of his family. Not a good sign. I'm not interested in bringing my little black son into that kind of family.
One of my best friends is African American, we grew up together in a mostly white area. To this day he still gets uncomfortable in certain situations, like being the only black person in a restaurant, or things like that, and I am generally oblivious because I just don't notice things like that. And I never really got why he was uncomfortable, it's not like people were staring are treating him differently. I think it's weird that we grew up together but have grown very different perspectives on certain things based mainly on the color of our skin.
I guess my point is that I will never understand what it feels like to be a person of a different race, and all the things that could possible make them uncomfortable. But at the same time they will never understand what it feels like to be someone who has never really been the victim of racism, and doesn't really see things in black and white all the time. So I'm not going to say you shouldn't be offended, but if you date somebody of a different race there will always be certain things you don't understand about each other. Just depends on how you decide to deal with it.0 -
I suppose this is the question though.I confess I have a lot of catching up to do... just wanted to vent for a minute... I will commence catching up tomorrow...
I'm on vaca with BB and his family. It's not going well. They're all from the south, don't appear to be racist, and so did not understand why I had no interest in touring Beauvoir (the Jefferson Davis home). Even BB thought I was being a little over-reactive. He didn't understand why staying in this nephew's room with all the dixie flags and "SCV" and "DSV" memorabilia made me uncomfortable. I told him if the news had been delivered to me with a healthy appreciation for the irony of a black girl touring all these confederate sites I would have laughed it off. But the fact that they have no clue irritates me. Even if you consider it all "historical" you should still have appreciation for the fact that some places I've lived (like Montgomery AL) still have "black doors" and "white doors"
I still went though. Had a good chuckle at all the "The South was right" propaganda. BB did too, but I noticed he only cracked on it to me privately, not to the rest of his family. Not a good sign. I'm not interested in bringing my little black son into that kind of family.
I would be irritated too!!
Christine, it's one thing visiting Auschwitz if you're a Jew and you have a leaning that way. But it's quite another thing if you just happen to be in Poland and your Gentile friends drag you there without any appreciation or empathy as to why you may not want to go!! I would be embarrassed to even suggest it!
You can't just deny history and treating you like 'it didnt happen' is actually more offensive, IMO.
Having said all that, I'm sure that BBs family are just trying to make you feel comfortable in their own way?
Why would someone not want to go?
Of course, if you have been there while it was in use in the past or hate history, I would understand...
But to be clear, it's not because you visit a "negative place", or read a book/visit the house of a "negative person" that you support the "negative ideas" of the said person or place.
If the museum/book/place fully supports the "negative idea" (or I should say: supports the idea I'm opposed to), then I can boycott it, yes.
But it's not new that the history of man isn't all flowers and love.0 -
I suppose this is the question though.I confess I have a lot of catching up to do... just wanted to vent for a minute... I will commence catching up tomorrow...
I'm on vaca with BB and his family. It's not going well. They're all from the south, don't appear to be racist, and so did not understand why I had no interest in touring Beauvoir (the Jefferson Davis home). Even BB thought I was being a little over-reactive. He didn't understand why staying in this nephew's room with all the dixie flags and "SCV" and "DSV" memorabilia made me uncomfortable. I told him if the news had been delivered to me with a healthy appreciation for the irony of a black girl touring all these confederate sites I would have laughed it off. But the fact that they have no clue irritates me. Even if you consider it all "historical" you should still have appreciation for the fact that some places I've lived (like Montgomery AL) still have "black doors" and "white doors"
I still went though. Had a good chuckle at all the "The South was right" propaganda. BB did too, but I noticed he only cracked on it to me privately, not to the rest of his family. Not a good sign. I'm not interested in bringing my little black son into that kind of family.
I would be irritated too!!
Christine, it's one thing visiting Auschwitz if you're a Jew and you have a leaning that way. But it's quite another thing if you just happen to be in Poland and your Gentile friends drag you there without any appreciation or empathy as to why you may not want to go!! I would be embarrassed to even suggest it!
You can't just deny history and treating you like 'it didnt happen' is actually more offensive, IMO.
Having said all that, I'm sure that BBs family are just trying to make you feel comfortable in their own way?
Why would someone not want to go?
Of course, if you have been there while it was in use in the past or hate history, I would understand...
But to be clear, it's not because you visit a "negative place", or read a book/visit the house of a "negative person" that you support the "negative ideas" of the said person or place.
If the museum/book/place fully supports the "negative idea" (or I should say: supports the idea I'm opposed to), then I can boycott it, yes.
But it's not new that the history of man isn't all flowers and love.
I agree. But I love history and devour any history museum, history site, etc.0 -
I live in the south and I think that people have really come along way. I, seriously, grew up on the same street as a man that would hold Klu Klux Klan meetings at his house and have an event once a year where they would burn a flag and have a huge celebration with people from other cities. He still does this. His house has racist writings on it and different posts all over the place.
Most people in the town think he's nuts. Unfortunately, the WHOLE town gets a bad wrap for this man's stupidity. I think it's the same way with all of the south... people assume they are racists just because every racist biggot gets put on the news.
Also, I think that sometimes people's wording doesn't match their sentiments. My 88 year old grandmother still refers to black people as "colored." She will seriously be saying the sweetest thing about her black friend in the nursing home... then she uses that word to describe her. At 88.. she's not changing her lingo- but that doesn't make her racist. I say, look into their intentions. They may get some things wrong... but their intentions could be entirely pure.0 -
I live in the south and I think that people have really come along way. I, seriously, grew up on the same street as a man that would hold Klu Klux Klan meetings at his house and have an event once a year where they would burn a flag and have a huge celebration with people from other cities. He still does this. His house has racist writings on it and different posts all over the place.
Most people in the town think he's nuts. Unfortunately, the WHOLE town gets a bad wrap for this man's stupidity. I think it's the same way with all of the south... people assume they are racists just because every racist biggot gets put on the news.
Also, I think that sometimes people's wording doesn't match their sentiments. My 88 year old grandmother still refers to black people as "colored." She will seriously be saying the sweetest thing about her black friend in the nursing home... then she uses that word to describe her. At 88.. she's not changing her lingo- but that doesn't make her racist. I say, look into their intentions. They may get some things wrong... but their intentions could be entirely pure.
There was a quote that was playing a while ago thay was really funny. This 70-80 yr old lady is going on and on about her lovely young male colored neighbor to a call in late night talk show ... .You could see the host face when she said colored but she said nothing negative. I think we have to cute old people some slack when they use colored or other not quite PC words, in their generation those were the PC words .
Also I live in south Florida which has one of the biggest holocaoust museums and they took us all on feild trips there when we were kids . It wasnt meant to be offensive.....
Maybe he was joking only with you because he could sense you were uncomfortable with the place . And bad history is still apart of history. My cousin who is mixed black/white (from my dads side) and my cousin who is black dominican (mom side) and I all went to some of the "historical" place that have confederate flags and propaganda down here. Niether of them were offended or uncomfortable in any way.0 -
Following Carnegie's book, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, I'd say that if you feel that strongly about it, you'd probably be doing BB a favor by ending things. It is unreasonable to hold him accountable for your feelings or the actions of other people. You seem to be doing both. If those really are the standards of your expectations, he can never live up to them no matter how hard he tries and is bound to be miserable attempting to do so.0
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I confess I will likely get a speeding ticket or 3 on my road trip down to San Diego later today. I am driving down from Seattle and I don't take my little 15 yr old Mazda because it has over 160K miles. Though I take care of it, in the back of my mind I always think I will break down in the middle of nowhere so I get a car rental. I picked up the rental today, a 2014 Nissan Altima S, and I was driving back home being super cautious as I am still adapting to the car, I noticed other cars are going awfully slow on the freeway. I was WTF people?! LET"S MOVE!! I look down at the speedometer, I was doing just a touch over 80 MPH and didn't even realize it. XD
Enjoy your trip!!!0 -
Happy National Slurpie day its 7/11's 40th annivesry of the slurpie adn they are celebrating by giving out free slurpies -12 ouncees0
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Jj, as someone who only dates outside of my race, there are things I have accepted about the package. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are aware of our differences. Some talk about it, some don't. I cring when I'm newly dating someone and the biggest story is immigration stuff. I have my own beliefs and all but I also have family that came over from Mexico for a better opportunity. Some came legally, some illegally. I KNOW what it's like for these folks in Mexico. I've been to their neighborhoods. It's not pretty and I know I would have done the same thing had I been in their shoes. Anyway, it's not my bfs job to make me feel better about my beliefs or the injustices I feel. He can, however, listen to me if the subject ever comes up. The reason I cringe is because at that point, I still don't know them so who knows how they are going to be about it. Luckily, I've never came across someone who was flat out rude to me.
What I'm trying to say is, it didnt sound to me as they're racist. I don't even think they were being insensitive. These differences are the beauty (to me) when I date someone of a different race. Our histories, our skin, our beliefs and how we come together.0 -
as someone raised among the plantation homes in Louisiana, we see them as a symbol of pride in the progress of our country. They are history, American history. Im not the kind of person that only accepts pretty, sweet, peaceful, politically correct history. Museums are full of artifacts from the crusades and ancient egypt, but I dont boycott them or get insulted by them.0
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I confess that I in 24 hours I will be heading to the mountains for the weekend and that 24 hours couldn't go by fast enough.0
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I confess that I in 24 hours I will be heading to the mountains for the weekend and that 24 hours couldn't go by fast enough.
That sounds fun!!!!!! Camping?0 -
I confess that I in 24 hours I will be heading to the mountains for the weekend and that 24 hours couldn't go by fast enough.
That sounds fun!!!!!! Camping?
Camping and tubing if the river isn't too angry.0 -
Lucky you, enjoy.I confess that I in 24 hours I will be heading to the mountains for the weekend and that 24 hours couldn't go by fast enough.
That sounds fun!!!!!! Camping?
Camping and tubing if the river isn't too angry.0 -
I confess that I am really confused by the pop up ads today. I just got one for a senior citizen's community. WTH did I look up that caused me to get that?0
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I confess that I am really confused by the pop up ads today. I just got one for a senior citizen's community. WTH did I look up that caused me to get that?
All that old person porn finally catching up to you?0 -
I confess that I am really confused by the pop up ads today. I just got one for a senior citizen's community. WTH did I look up that caused me to get that?
All that old person porn finally catching up to you?
I look that up at home. I'm at work now. I can only look up conventional porn here.0 -
Wow guys. I never said he or his family were racist. My concern is that they appear to have no clue of what it's like to be a black person in the south.
My mother is white and so is my step dad...in fact he's from a little town that never even SAW black people before be brought us to meet the family. Never had a problem with racism from his family or townspeople. My mom's family is a different matter: they disowned her for almost 20 years for having a black child (me).
Hate to say it, but growing up overseas this is one area where the US needs improving.0 -
I confess that I am really confused by the pop up ads today. I just got one for a senior citizen's community. WTH did I look up that caused me to get that?
IDK but if you look up limp or "ED" you'll get ads for just hookup.com0
