December Challenge - Me vs. The Binge
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I'm going to be honest. Lately I find it hard to manage a day that doesn't go 3,000+ calories.
Today I was thinking I should eat phase 1 of south beach, that didn't work. I don't like telling myself I can't have whole grains or fruit. Too restrictive. But I can't get over the fact that I gained 7 lbs. That makes me mad and I want to run to the first thing that promises me immediate results. Sugar still controls me (I don't mean grains and fruit. I mean sweets and junk food - one bite of it makes me want more. more. more.)
I keep telling myself I will be happy once I get into a healthy BMI and thats everything I need to strive for. But that's not really true because I need to solve this binge eating issue, the weight isn't the big problem... it's the relationship with food. Everything would line up smoothly if I didn't struggle with binges. I could slowly lose all the weight and never gain it back if weight was the only issue.
So... I'm trying to evaluate myself... but I don't know why I keep bingeing. I feel like I want to do the best ever. And then it goes completely opposite. I can't say I love food when I continuously eat more and more servings of one thing. Thats not loving - that's something else. It's like I won't see it the next day, like I need it to comfort me. Or I need something to make me not think. Distraction. It's so hard to know why.
I feel like I have way too many triggers.
There are trigger foods in the house and I can't get rid of them because other people like them.
I feel like I should be able to deal with my stress productively but I am finding it's very hard. Not because I don't have other alternatives.... but because I seem to choose food over them. I still want the food more than any other alternative (like a bath, walk, reading over my blogs, etc)
Why Do I feel this way? Is it just a sucky self control? Lack of motivation? Can you make any sense of this because I don't understand myself somedays. =/
Negatives: I have binged twice this month,
Positives: I logged everything.
This actually brings tears to my eyes because this is me!!! You are not alone. I am trying to figure out why I do this too. When I restrict foods I binge, when I eat foods that aren't that good for me I am so angry at myself b/c I feel like I will not lose weight eating those things. I keep having to update my weight loss ticker higher and higher. I am totally addicted to sugar and for the past few days have really been trying to eat very clean and low sugar foods, it seems my cravings are getting less and less but I know that I am setting myself up for a binge--only a matter of time. I don't know why food is so hard for me but I look at my husband and he has no issues at all and I don't understand. Then I watch how my kids eat and when you are a baby and toddler you have intuitive eating down but I remember binging as a teen and then in college and now even at almost 35 I will still do it and I really don't want to set unhealthy eating habits for my children. Some years in my life I don't struggle with it, but some years are really tough for some reason--like this year. I should probably see a therapist but for some reason I don't. I have every excuse in the book and I tend to put myself last. I have a good friend and we both struggle with this. She has recently shared what her therapist is telling her about her "disordered eating" and basically it throws every food rule you have EVER read or heard in your life out the window and this woman is teaching her how to eat again. Hang in there and know that this is really so hard for so many of us. You have to eat and are surrounded by food always which makes it even harder.0 -
I'm going to be honest. Lately I find it hard to manage a day that doesn't go 3,000+ calories.
Today I was thinking I should eat phase 1 of south beach, that didn't work. I don't like telling myself I can't have whole grains or fruit. Too restrictive. But I can't get over the fact that I gained 7 lbs. That makes me mad and I want to run to the first thing that promises me immediate results. Sugar still controls me (I don't mean grains and fruit. I mean sweets and junk food - one bite of it makes me want more. more. more.)
I keep telling myself I will be happy once I get into a healthy BMI and thats everything I need to strive for. But that's not really true because I need to solve this binge eating issue, the weight isn't the big problem... it's the relationship with food. Everything would line up smoothly if I didn't struggle with binges. I could slowly lose all the weight and never gain it back if weight was the only issue.
So... I'm trying to evaluate myself... but I don't know why I keep bingeing. I feel like I want to do the best ever. And then it goes completely opposite. I can't say I love food when I continuously eat more and more servings of one thing. Thats not loving - that's something else. It's like I won't see it the next day, like I need it to comfort me. Or I need something to make me not think. Distraction. It's so hard to know why.
I feel like I have way too many triggers.
There are trigger foods in the house and I can't get rid of them because other people like them.
I feel like I should be able to deal with my stress productively but I am finding it's very hard. Not because I don't have other alternatives.... but because I seem to choose food over them. I still want the food more than any other alternative (like a bath, walk, reading over my blogs, etc)
Why Do I feel this way? Is it just a sucky self control? Lack of motivation? Can you make any sense of this because I don't understand myself somedays. =/
Negatives: I have binged twice this month,
Positives: I logged everything.
This actually brings tears to my eyes because this is me!!! You are not alone. I am trying to figure out why I do this too. When I restrict foods I binge, when I eat foods that aren't that good for me I am so angry at myself b/c I feel like I will not lose weight eating those things. I keep having to update my weight loss ticker higher and higher. I am totally addicted to sugar and for the past few days have really been trying to eat very clean and low sugar foods, it seems my cravings are getting less and less but I know that I am setting myself up for a binge--only a matter of time. I don't know why food is so hard for me but I look at my husband and he has no issues at all and I don't understand. Then I watch how my kids eat and when you are a baby and toddler you have intuitive eating down but I remember binging as a teen and then in college and now even at almost 35 I will still do it and I really don't want to set unhealthy eating habits for my children. Some years in my life I don't struggle with it, but some years are really tough for some reason--like this year. I should probably see a therapist but for some reason I don't. I have every excuse in the book and I tend to put myself last. I have a good friend and we both struggle with this. She has recently shared what her therapist is telling her about her "disordered eating" and basically it throws every food rule you have EVER read or heard in your life out the window and this woman is teaching her how to eat again. Hang in there and know that this is really so hard for so many of us. You have to eat and are surrounded by food always which makes it even harder.
Yeah, I guess the "diet" mentality is hard to get rid of sometimes. I'm trying very hard, but they have been trained into my mind for a long time...food rules.
I seem to do better when I'm limiting sugar - I know it can lead to a binge sometimes... but it helps regardless. Once the cravings are down I have more control... I am amazed when I watch how babies/kids eat intuitively. Something I haven't done in a long time. I guess your husband doesn't have as much of a problem because guys have higher metabolisms.. .
I don't think your kids will carry your behavior. Just make sure to encourage them to follow their hunger, and offer them healthy foods as well as treats... .kids are pretty simple. They don't usually eat unless they're hungry.. just don't force them to "make a clean plate".. .my parents did that a lot and it made me feel like I had to eat everything in front of me all the time.
I've been listening to podcasts today.... browsing encouraging quotes....and staying away from the kitchen. I'm not going to commit or make promises for tomorrow... .I'm just taking it meal by meal for the rest of the day...
Thanks for the reply. Good luck. You're right, food is difficult because we are always surrounded by it.0 -
I'm going to be honest. Lately I find it hard to manage a day that doesn't go 3,000+ calories.
Today I was thinking I should eat phase 1 of south beach, that didn't work. I don't like telling myself I can't have whole grains or fruit. Too restrictive. But I can't get over the fact that I gained 7 lbs. That makes me mad and I want to run to the first thing that promises me immediate results. Sugar still controls me (I don't mean grains and fruit. I mean sweets and junk food - one bite of it makes me want more. more. more.)
I keep telling myself I will be happy once I get into a healthy BMI and thats everything I need to strive for. But that's not really true because I need to solve this binge eating issue, the weight isn't the big problem... it's the relationship with food. Everything would line up smoothly if I didn't struggle with binges. I could slowly lose all the weight and never gain it back if weight was the only issue.
So... I'm trying to evaluate myself... but I don't know why I keep bingeing. I feel like I want to do the best ever. And then it goes completely opposite. I can't say I love food when I continuously eat more and more servings of one thing. Thats not loving - that's something else. It's like I won't see it the next day, like I need it to comfort me. Or I need something to make me not think. Distraction. It's so hard to know why.
I feel like I have way too many triggers.
There are trigger foods in the house and I can't get rid of them because other people like them.
I feel like I should be able to deal with my stress productively but I am finding it's very hard. Not because I don't have other alternatives.... but because I seem to choose food over them. I still want the food more than any other alternative (like a bath, walk, reading over my blogs, etc)
Why Do I feel this way? Is it just a sucky self control? Lack of motivation? Can you make any sense of this because I don't understand myself somedays. =/
Negatives: I have binged twice this month,
Positives: I logged everything.
This actually brings tears to my eyes because this is me!!! You are not alone. I am trying to figure out why I do this too. When I restrict foods I binge, when I eat foods that aren't that good for me I am so angry at myself b/c I feel like I will not lose weight eating those things. I keep having to update my weight loss ticker higher and higher. I am totally addicted to sugar and for the past few days have really been trying to eat very clean and low sugar foods, it seems my cravings are getting less and less but I know that I am setting myself up for a binge--only a matter of time. I don't know why food is so hard for me but I look at my husband and he has no issues at all and I don't understand. Then I watch how my kids eat and when you are a baby and toddler you have intuitive eating down but I remember binging as a teen and then in college and now even at almost 35 I will still do it and I really don't want to set unhealthy eating habits for my children. Some years in my life I don't struggle with it, but some years are really tough for some reason--like this year. I should probably see a therapist but for some reason I don't. I have every excuse in the book and I tend to put myself last. I have a good friend and we both struggle with this. She has recently shared what her therapist is telling her about her "disordered eating" and basically it throws every food rule you have EVER read or heard in your life out the window and this woman is teaching her how to eat again. Hang in there and know that this is really so hard for so many of us. You have to eat and are surrounded by food always which makes it even harder.
Yeah, I guess the "diet" mentality is hard to get rid of sometimes. I'm trying very hard, but they have been trained into my mind for a long time...food rules.
I seem to do better when I'm limiting sugar - I know it can lead to a binge sometimes... but it helps regardless. Once the cravings are down I have more control... I am amazed when I watch how babies/kids eat intuitively. Something I haven't done in a long time. I guess your husband doesn't have as much of a problem because guys have higher metabolisms.. .
I don't think your kids will carry your behavior. Just make sure to encourage them to follow their hunger, and offer them healthy foods as well as treats... .kids are pretty simple. They don't usually eat unless they're hungry.. just don't force them to "make a clean plate".. .my parents did that a lot and it made me feel like I had to eat everything in front of me all the time.
I've been listening to podcasts today.... browsing encouraging quotes....and staying away from the kitchen. I'm not going to commit or make promises for tomorrow... .I'm just taking it meal by meal for the rest of the day...
Thanks for the reply. Good luck. You're right, food is difficult because we are always surrounded by it.
You might find this book useful if you can find it on the Amazon for your country.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rules-Normal-Eating-Commonsense-Undereaters/dp/09360772120 -
12-2-12
Me: 2
Binge: 0
I for some reason was trying to restrict today but ended up hungry and had some peanut butter. Feel fine about it. I want to lay off the nut butter for the next few days though..almost over doing it.0 -
Elizabeth 2
Binge 0
I want to log right now b/c I am really feeling snacky, which usually turns into a binge. So just closed the kitchen for the night. Binge you won't get me!!!0 -
I'm going to be honest. Lately I find it hard to manage a day that doesn't go 3,000+ calories.
Today I was thinking I should eat phase 1 of south beach, that didn't work. I don't like telling myself I can't have whole grains or fruit. Too restrictive. But I can't get over the fact that I gained 7 lbs. That makes me mad and I want to run to the first thing that promises me immediate results. Sugar still controls me (I don't mean grains and fruit. I mean sweets and junk food - one bite of it makes me want more. more. more.)
I keep telling myself I will be happy once I get into a healthy BMI and thats everything I need to strive for. But that's not really true because I need to solve this binge eating issue, the weight isn't the big problem... it's the relationship with food. Everything would line up smoothly if I didn't struggle with binges. I could slowly lose all the weight and never gain it back if weight was the only issue.
So... I'm trying to evaluate myself... but I don't know why I keep bingeing. I feel like I want to do the best ever. And then it goes completely opposite. I can't say I love food when I continuously eat more and more servings of one thing. Thats not loving - that's something else. It's like I won't see it the next day, like I need it to comfort me. Or I need something to make me not think. Distraction. It's so hard to know why.
I feel like I have way too many triggers.
There are trigger foods in the house and I can't get rid of them because other people like them.
I feel like I should be able to deal with my stress productively but I am finding it's very hard. Not because I don't have other alternatives.... but because I seem to choose food over them. I still want the food more than any other alternative (like a bath, walk, reading over my blogs, etc)
Why Do I feel this way? Is it just a sucky self control? Lack of motivation? Can you make any sense of this because I don't understand myself somedays. =/
Negatives: I have binged twice this month,
Positives: I logged everything.
This actually brings tears to my eyes because this is me!!! You are not alone. I am trying to figure out why I do this too. When I restrict foods I binge, when I eat foods that aren't that good for me I am so angry at myself b/c I feel like I will not lose weight eating those things. I keep having to update my weight loss ticker higher and higher. I am totally addicted to sugar and for the past few days have really been trying to eat very clean and low sugar foods, it seems my cravings are getting less and less but I know that I am setting myself up for a binge--only a matter of time. I don't know why food is so hard for me but I look at my husband and he has no issues at all and I don't understand. Then I watch how my kids eat and when you are a baby and toddler you have intuitive eating down but I remember binging as a teen and then in college and now even at almost 35 I will still do it and I really don't want to set unhealthy eating habits for my children. Some years in my life I don't struggle with it, but some years are really tough for some reason--like this year. I should probably see a therapist but for some reason I don't. I have every excuse in the book and I tend to put myself last. I have a good friend and we both struggle with this. She has recently shared what her therapist is telling her about her "disordered eating" and basically it throws every food rule you have EVER read or heard in your life out the window and this woman is teaching her how to eat again. Hang in there and know that this is really so hard for so many of us. You have to eat and are surrounded by food always which makes it even harder.
Yeah, I guess the "diet" mentality is hard to get rid of sometimes. I'm trying very hard, but they have been trained into my mind for a long time...food rules.
I seem to do better when I'm limiting sugar - I know it can lead to a binge sometimes... but it helps regardless. Once the cravings are down I have more control... I am amazed when I watch how babies/kids eat intuitively. Something I haven't done in a long time. I guess your husband doesn't have as much of a problem because guys have higher metabolisms.. .
I don't think your kids will carry your behavior. Just make sure to encourage them to follow their hunger, and offer them healthy foods as well as treats... .kids are pretty simple. They don't usually eat unless they're hungry.. just don't force them to "make a clean plate".. .my parents did that a lot and it made me feel like I had to eat everything in front of me all the time.
I've been listening to podcasts today.... browsing encouraging quotes....and staying away from the kitchen. I'm not going to commit or make promises for tomorrow... .I'm just taking it meal by meal for the rest of the day...
Thanks for the reply. Good luck. You're right, food is difficult because we are always surrounded by it.
You might find this book useful if you can find it on the Amazon for your country.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rules-Normal-Eating-Commonsense-Undereaters/dp/0936077212
Thanks i will check it out!0 -
December 2
Greeky - 2
Binge - 0
YEAH!!!0 -
As of 11.30.2012-12.02.2012
Me: 1
The Binge: 2
another bad day. /:0 -
December 2012:
Terry - 1
The Binge - 1
Logging days - 1 / 30
Wow, made it one whole day, never saw it coming
. Hope tomorrow's better. 0 -
Looking at everyones stats : You're all doing so well! Even if you have slipped.
"Change doesn’t happen over night. It’s happens in small steps. Each time we push through our discomfort. Each time we assert our needs. Each time we sit with difficult feelings. Each time we pick ourselves back up after we fall. It adds up. Each time, it counts. Each time, we fill one more piece of the puzzle. Be patient with yourself and your journey. Your life is a process. Don’t be discouraged by the wait. All you have to do is focus on today. Your journey won’t be perfect, and it certainly won’t be a straight path. You’re going to take wrong turns and get lost. You’re going to stumble and fall. And that’s okay. If you choose a wrong path, you always have the power to choose another. If you fall, you always have the strength to pick yourself back up. Your mistakes don’t discount your progress, and they certainly aren’t a reason to keep from moving forward. Trust in the process. Trust that you will end up where you need to be. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep on keeping on." ~Daniell, Internal Acceptance Movement
Just thought I'd share a quote for everyone here!0 -
Dec 2
Me: 1
Binge: 1
I was good all day UNTIL I brought home desserts I had taken to a friend's house. Had 4 cookies and some cherry pie. :-(0 -
U, Dec 2
beatrixia: 2
The Binge: 0
Today I really did not want to exercise at all. I was feeling tired, and I wanted to take it easy.
I didn't even want to take puppy for her walk. :frown:
But, I chose to walk with puppy regardless of my feelings, and we had a nice time.
Then, I didn't want to do the Leslie Sansone workout that I had planned to do. I put it off all day.
But, I finally chose to do it, and I felt so good afterwards.
Encouraging myself to do what I know is good for me (and in this case, puppy too!) in spite of just not wanting to do it in the moment is something I desire to practice more and more. That particular part of my brain really _needs_ the practice.
0 -
Natalie: 0
Binge: 1
Over: 1
Not true. Ended in binge.
Natalie: 0
Binge: 20 -
Cara - 2
Binge - 0
Finally off to a good start 0 -
Hope everyone had a nice weekend! I'm so excited to be able to start this month off binge free. I want to do better this month than I have been doing the past 2 months. It's good to see new faces too.
Me: 2
Binge: 00 -
I'm excited I haven't broken down yet!
Me:2
Binge:00 -
I'm in for this month.
Me: 2
Binge:00 -
December 2012
Diane - 0
The Binge - 20 -
Me: 0
The Binge: 3
December 3rd, 2012.0 -
Thanks!:flowerforyou: Just what I needed after this weekendLooking at everyones stats : You're all doing so well! Even if you have slipped.
"Change doesn’t happen over night. It’s happens in small steps. Each time we push through our discomfort. Each time we assert our needs. Each time we sit with difficult feelings. Each time we pick ourselves back up after we fall. It adds up. Each time, it counts. Each time, we fill one more piece of the puzzle. Be patient with yourself and your journey. Your life is a process. Don’t be discouraged by the wait. All you have to do is focus on today. Your journey won’t be perfect, and it certainly won’t be a straight path. You’re going to take wrong turns and get lost. You’re going to stumble and fall. And that’s okay. If you choose a wrong path, you always have the power to choose another. If you fall, you always have the strength to pick yourself back up. Your mistakes don’t discount your progress, and they certainly aren’t a reason to keep from moving forward. Trust in the process. Trust that you will end up where you need to be. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep on keeping on." ~Daniell, Internal Acceptance Movement
Just thought I'd share a quote for everyone here!0
