ADD, and the next better thing to come along...

meshashesha2012

Truely you just need a few hints on how to work it to get what you want. You have to fight shyness and fake it til you make it... If you act confident eventually you will feel confident

fist bumping this.


confidence is sexy, regardless if you're top, mid or bottom tier in looks :laugh:

also maybe part of the problem is that you (i mean christine) are going out in groups? if you're going out man catching either go it alone OR with a good wing woman.

if you go with a wing woman make sure it's someone where you and she are on the same page about what you're there for. there's nothing worse than going in with a partner who's sending out "eff off" vibes when you're trying to meet new guys.

body language is a big one too not just standing/sitting in an open matter, but also making sure to look around the place you are, make sure to make eye contact with any cuties you see and smile. not a carebear stare smile, just a quick flirty smile.
inevitably for every guy you intentionally smile out, 2-3 more or going to think you meant them and they might approach. if you arent interested then be gracious about it even if he is a hunchbacked scrub with an oozing eye because 1)that guy is still a human being and 2) the guys that you do want to approach are more than likely paying attention to how you handle the scrub.


the last tip i have is to avoid single word responses. women tend to be better communicators than men which for better or worse means that it's probably always going to fall on us to help direct conversation . by the way the single - as little words as possible polite answer NOT inviting further conversation is a good way to shake the scrubs off without you coming off as a b*tch and letting him save face for having approached a strange woman in front of his friends.

with the guys you want to talk to i personally avoid the "normal" questions because those are boring as hell and it's impossible to be both boring and flirty. so leave the what's your name, what do you do for a living ,where are you from questions for when you arent trying to flirt. girl i just dozed off typing them :laugh:

there are far more interesting ways to learn the basics (although i dont quite get the need to know what someone's job is when you first meet them, but that's just me. i'm usually more interested in learning about who someone is rather than what they do when i first meet them)

ETA it goes without saying that you should be going places where predominately straight men go.
if you're going to bars then go for beer tastings, scotch tasting or happy hours at sports bars when a game is one (wine tastings, cocktail lounges and happy hours at fancy bars tend to attract more women)... car shows, comic book conventions, outdoorsy type stuff, etc are the type places guys go.

if you want to meet guys you gotta go where they go

JanieJack

Personally in my experience, I've seen that the more a woman can bring to the table, the less options she has. Men don't want to work hard for the women who are successful or are educated. If they find an option that is easier to obtain or the standards are lower, they will go there.

That about sums it up.

And probably more importantly: does being "successful and educated" make a woman "higher value" in the eyes of a man? (answer: no it probably doesn't, ask JJ about it... she probably wrote a book on this topic by now :laugh: ).

Florian you crack me up! You are one of the folks I missed from this board. For the record, I agree: It doesn't make you higher value. Guys generally approach me b/c they think I'm cute and then run away when they find out I'm educated.

AnnaPixie

OMG! Not another 'top tier' conversation! :yawn:

@Christine - while you are sitting back waiting to be asked, there are women out there flirting their arses off and pulling that guy you're interested in!!

@OP - I dont think guys 'expect' to be chased. I just think they are fed up getting rejected (especially online, when they send out 30 emails and maybe get 1 reply) and so it would be nice for them to be approached for a change. And contrary to popular opinion, I don't think men are always on the prowl either. Yes, its nice if they bump into a girl that takes their fancy, and they might even grab the opportunity when it's presented, but a lot of the time they are happily working or out for a beer with their mates watching the footy! Oh! and of course they will make an extra special effort if there may be sex at the end of it :smokin:

In this day and age, I think that both genders should be grabbing opportunities as and when they arise :bigsmile:

christine24t

1) I usually wear blouses, tank tops with cardigans, tank tops in the summer...with heels or boots or flats. Makeup yes...foundation mascara eyeshadow .. Ok so first get someone (a gay guy works best they can be bruteally honest) to go through your clothes with you. Makes sure the colors compliment and flatter your figure... Also Anytime your going out something should be on your lips. Lips gloss during the day lipstick at night (not the gym work... I mean situations where you want to be hit on) Also you have very nice hair try a half updo . Put some of your hair in a pony tail or mini braid and let the rest fall free. This will show your face more but also show off your hair.
2) I go the gym everyday, am frequently out shopping, a local bar maybe once or twice a month. ...The gym is for working out getting hit on is a bonus but not expected. Shopping is a chore to most men they are there to get in and out. Bars, clubs, other place where singles mingle is what you need to be looking at. Your young most guys your age are gonna go to the bar on friday night or a club ,bowling ,ect.
3) I live in an urban area, I think there are a ton of singles
4) I try to be friendly. Open body language (I used to cross my arms but I try to stop when I do it). Usually up listening to the band or dancing on the dance floor if there is a DJ. Leave every few songs to take a break, etc. I have struck up conversations with men before but they usually walk away within 30 seconds to a minute. I just ask normal questions "what's your name?" "Where are you from?" "What do you do for a living?" The last weekend, there was a man standing by me so I said hello...a minute later he just walked away. ...
The easiest trick at a bar is to put your hands in your back pockets . This naturally arches your back which elongates your torso and neck. AND NO SLOUCHING !!!!Also remember that most men dont want to approach a pack of ladies. Try going near the bar by yourself ...MAKE EYE CONTACT , smile, look away, look back and smile again. It helps if you have a drink your sipping when you do this.When approached offer your name and your hand they will tell you their name. Complement him I like your shirt, necklace, something . It shows you've been looking at him and found him note worthy. Your questions might come off a little 3rd degree. Let conversation flow naturally " i like this song" ect .


5) I wonder this myself. Part of me thinks that my friends are a lot prettier so they get the attention that I don't. If any guys come up to my group, they're there to hit on my friends not me. I try to be very outgoing even though its not my nature. I know I'm not "top-tier" but it's truly shocking to me (and my friends) that I've never really been hit on or anything. Like I said make eye contact, try to make yourself avalible to be approached solo. Smile, laugh, Also Kareoke as odd as it sounds is a greet meet and greet place. Because people learn yourn name and most people want to compliment you on a song or if you see a guy you like and he sings you can compliment him on his song choice.

Truely you just need a few hints on how to work it to get what you want. You have to fight shyness and fake it til you make it... If you act confident eventually you will feel confident

Thank you I appreciate this! Now I just need a gay best friend and I'll be good to go! And if I ever get approached I like the idea of the compliment as I love to compliment people!