BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
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I understand the "habitual munching" after dinner. I do the same thing. Sometimes it leads to a binge, sometimes not. I have a planned snack then brush my teeth and my husband locks the refrigerator. It works most of the time. Good luck!
G - That must of been tough bingeing like that. I'm sure that all of those factors did play into and lead up to it. Are there things you would've done differently now looking back? Besides that there isn't much you can do besides move on. Hope you're doing better.
Yesterday was my birthday. I had a dinner out at Longhorn's planned and logged in and stayed within my calories but the closer I got to dinner, the more I began thinking about eating whatever I wanted. I thought I was going to make it eating what I had planned, but I didn't....I ate all kinds of stuff including a huge dessert. I felt overstuffed and awful afterwards. I think I felt entitled because it was my birthday. What I have to convince myself of is that "treating" myself well, means eating well and healthy, not overindulging. I need to care enough about myself to take good care of myself not treat my body like a garbage can. If I could do it over, I would eat a better lunch instead of skimping to save calories, have a decent snack and not looked at the menu. Then, remind myself that I'm "entitled" to treat myself well.
Donna~0 -
Check out the book list thread. I have been reading some of the suggested books and they are helping me a lot.
I am re-reading "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth. It is a good one!0 -
Going to bed after dinner and stuff is done is what works for me. After working all day at the hospital, my ankles hurt so bad that once I'm off them, I really don't want to get back up and go downstairs to the kitchen just to eat more food that I don't actually need. It's really hard for me to exercise or even walk because of the pain from standing all day, but I try to walk the dogs or even ride a bike every now and then. The Walk Away the Pounds DVD really tires me out, so I go to bed right after doing that, too! I'm buying new shoes every three months, and I feel pretty guilty about it because they are so expensive, but my loving husband says its ok :-)
Thanks to all for being here for me!
PS - Donna, happy belated B day :-)0 -
Thank you!
Do you know why your ankles hurt? Mine hurt for years and I had no idea why until a new nurse practioner said she thought I had "collapsed ankles" which, after a visit to the ortho doc, turned out to be true but called posterior tibial tendon dysfunction or PTTD. I had braces made and now they don't hurt so much.
Donna~0 -
Another good day. I gained about a half a pound this week and I did not binge because of it. Usually the scale is a big trigger. I have been getting on it once a week. This week will be tough to stay at my 1x a week rule since I gained. I am tempted to jump back on the scale and see if I lost that weight. I have to hope working hard this week will make it go away.
I am happy April is almost over it was a tough month for me eating wise. I had several binges in a row. Hoping in May to have less.
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DucksandOrang
Thanks! The heartburn did make it frustrating because I could not eat some very good foods because they made it worse.
Graelwyn75
Glad you are back on track. Good Job
tsikkz
Grazing is my downfall. I sometimes do it cause I am bored.
dladisheff
Happy Birthday!! Good Job too
MadDogManor
Shoes are very important. I had bad shoes and it caused a heel injury.0 -
Hi everyone I just found this thread and I though I would introduce myself. I am finding many of your responses very helpful and comforting.
I started my weight loss journey last April (2012). I have been doing really well up until a couple of months ago. I have no idea why, but every weekend I would want to binge. I have about 10 healthy meals that I love that I cycle through during the week and do really well basically Monday through friday when I am on my rigid schedule. I usually still drink some wine on Saturday evenings, but I exercise/ eat less during the day to compensate for that. Then it's back to the regular deficit on Sunday.
I don't know why for the past couple of months, at least one day on the weekends, always alone, at night, in my bedroom, I will go off on a binge. Usually pretty bad where I eat anything unhealthy in the house and if there isn't anything, I will drive to town to get crap. Usually in a zombie like state. I turn on the TV for background noise. And now the next day or two after a binge, food and binging again is all I can think about.
I feel like I have caught what could be a very serious problem somewhat in it's early stages and I am now doing everything I can to stop this cycle. I have a feeling that being restricted for so long in my diet has not helped my healthy mindset. Everyday I strive for my calories to be the lowest I can, not getting UP to my goal like I should.
I used to have a built in "cheat day or meal" on Sundays where I would go over, but I would enjoy myself and the thought of secret binging like I do now never crossed my mind. I don't know why I stopped doing those days, because it was working just fine. I guess I just fell in love with the scale number dropping. The scale number is NOT the most important thing. Learning to have a healthy relationship with food for the rest of my life IS. I am beginning to realize just how true this is now.
I am redoing my calorie goals and I am going to try to meet my daily goal as well as have a free day/ meal over the weekend to see if that helps. Make more room for treats here and there during the week so my mind doesn't think I will NEVER be able have those "bad" foods again, causing me to binge on them.
UGH sorry for the wall of text! Feels good to get that out there. You guys are so supportive and I know this weekend will be different. I am going to MAKE it different!0 -
Sailrunner I'm glad you are here in the group. ;D
Ducksandoranges thank you so much for the quotes from the blog. I've kinda stumbled onto this technique on my own by accident. I'm excited to read more about it.
Chibea I had to laugh at the part that you wanted to tell them all to go to hell. lmao Jealousy is a brutal emotion.
Donna, happy happy birthday!
Woodsy I liked your wall of text and I'm glad you're here.
Graelwyn I bet you are so happy to have the performance behind you. Something like that with all those crazy emotional situations can easily put me over the edge. I struggle with thinking I should cut calories to lose more weight, but for me I know that would push me towards binging (often) if I did that.0 -
woodsy0912
Welcome!! I have to add some treats in ocasionally. Also, if I am too strict on my calories and exercise it can lead to a binge (I tend to get strict and don't realize it)
hdkerr
Cutting more calories makes me prone to binge too.
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Happy May 1st everyone! I am so glad April is over. The beginning of that month sucked bad! I am so glad to be done with it.
I am still having horrible heartburn and may see my Doctor soon. It helps me get in my water though because I have to drink a lot to help me swallow. lol
I did not binge last night but wanted to eat for some reason. I am tired from the heartburn keeping me awake at night. I know being tired can cause me to slip on my food choices.0 -
Thanks Karen and HD! I am determined to make this weekend a good one. Going out for dinner/ bowling for a girls night this Friday and I am determined not to binge. In the past I would be spending hours trying to pre-log what I was going to eat/ drink and "cheat with" then feel guilty when I could not stick to the plan or would go over. Then this would lead to a "eff-it, I already screwed up the plan, might as well keep going attitude. Not this time!
My plan this time is to just enjoy myself in moderation and log it all after the fact. (Just to keep my diary accountable.)0 -
Ever since my concert on Saturday, I seem to have fallen into that 'don't care, don't want to exercise, just want to eat every food I craved for the last month' mode, even while part of my brain is screaming at me and reminding me of how unhappy I already am with my weight and size and is plotting on all manner of methods to lose the gain from the present binging. My TOM is due any day. Some months it does not affect me like this. It depends on other events and stressors in my life at the time. With the calories I have inhaled, there is the potential for a 4Ib gain.
Sure, I have done this in the past, and returned to normal, and gone back down, but that does not help my current mode of feeling fat, fleshy and frustrated that these really bad binges always seem to hit in the days before I have to go to stay with my mother in London and lose some control of my routine. Obviously there is a connection there. I know I will have to eat out while there, I know that once there I tend to somehow relax more and all intention of skipping desserts flies out of the window, I know that although I belong to a gym that has a branch up the road, it will be a struggle to fit it in... I know I will gain more weight there.
Pretty depressed right now. It was a glorious day today. I was meant to embrace it and go on a long bike ride, but what I did was stay up half the night on this bloody site and binge. When the alarm went off, I felt too drowsy and dispirited to bother getting up to bike, and in the end, I simply went to the shops, bought more binge foods, had cake and cappuccino while out, and came home.
How can I enjoy my birthday weekend when I go there knowing I am heavier and am going with a bf who is in control of himself and is lean? It makes me resent him so much, even though I know it is not his problem. But just his being with me, makes me feel more of a fat failure.
Summer is almost upon us and I am living in the same crappy clothes, usually my gym gear, because I feel too large to wear anything nice. Or rather, I have gotten into the mindset that unless I am wearing a size Uk 6 (USA 0-2), I must be immensely big.0 -
""I think part of the binge process is that it sort of sinks whatever feelings are actually at play, which is probably why many of us do binge. It acts as a cover. A temporary elastoplast.""
Graelwyn, above is one great quote from you. There are many more fantastic, helpful, healing comments you have made since I have known you. I think it would be great for you to go back and read your own posts!! It seems like you are in an 'out of control" place where you need to hear positive hopeful ideas instead of the" I can't," "I always", "I know I will gain" words I am hearing from you.
You would never allow one of us to talk to ourselves like that!!!!! You are one of the great ones who can see how we get caught up in the negative thinking and you have helped so many people break out of that!!
So, this is what you have said works for you: Exercise - but not too much..... Intermittent fasting - eating only at night, since that is when you like to eat the most..... Pouring dish detergent all over the junk food in your house...remembering that the scale does not say who you are.....and you often have trouble right before TOM, so ease up on yourself. It's hard enough with the TOM mood swings - you don't need to dump on yourself and make it worse
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Good to see other people mentioning journaling - I'm clinging to it.
Pouring the energy I'd usually put into binging into being as meticulous as i can about journaling.
Despite a major crisis with family - had to move mom out of assisted living - and two flights to get to her - hanging around an airport is when i normally go for the bakery stuff.
I made 7 days without binging.
My goal has been to eat in a healthy way and journal everything. Let two pieces of pizza and a bagel sandwich be ok.
Ended up being fine with my calories.
Still I'm tired now and I know that's when i can get going - leaving to take bath and then bed.
Looking for community and support here.
THANKS for the welcome, hdkerr0 -
Isn't it time for us to be done with the crap of comparison - I get caught in comparing with how I was, how my daughter is, my sister - heck - anyone going down the street.
I am so ready to not have that be a factor.
These past days I was out of town and didn't have much to wear so was in a tight shirt. I felt gross and kept a running commentary putting myself down.
I know self talk makes a difference and I'd like to turn it positive - did at least make food notes of all the things I wanted and didn't have.
Thanks for writing and posting - do appreciate not feeling alone and totally "weird"0 -
Woodsy,
I like and appreciate your specifics.
Thanks for being here and posting0 -
Nice job Sailrunner. You should be proud of yourself!
I have no idea why, but I wanted to binge so much last night. Usually I am fine till the weekend rolls around put I had to physically fight myself from changing out of my PJ's and driving to the store last night. I thought I knew what I wanted to binge on, but it turns out all I wanted to do was eat anything sweet. And a lot of it.
PLAN: I am upping my calories for the next 2 weeks. I need to get these cravings under control. Then the week after that is vacation where I will eat what I want and NOT binge. Week after will be a maintenance week giving me a nice 2 week "diet break." I hope this will clear my head and get me back on the right path. Calorie restricting for weight loss is hard, and I need to do it right and make healthy sustainable changes if I want the weight to stay off. It's more important to me now than losing quick.
I am proud of myself last night for not doing it. Pissed off that I am having these thoughts at all, but proud of myself for not doing it.0 -
Something that helped me not binge: I got out of my normal routine of sitting on front of my computer with the TV on before bed. I made myself a cup of hot raspberry tea with splenda and sat outside and read my book. I got into it, and really started to forget about my cravings. Then after that, I made a list of many things I can do to distract myself when stupid urges like this hit.
Something that did NOT help: looking up a BED forum to try to do some research. Just felt like it was giving me ideas and almost validating what I wanted so badly to do. I closed the computer quick after just a couple of mins. :laugh:0 -
I was doing so good then I had a small gain and a stressful week and blew it!! Some days were just overeating but very close to binges though.
New day today and I will beat this!!0 -
Have had a good couple of days after my last 3 day binge. I let a smaller weight loss than expected, disappoint me and got into the "what the heck" mentality. I'm going to be very careful not to do that again in the future. I am working on accepting any weight loss as good....I have upped my calories from 1300 to 1600-1800. That's what MyFitnessPal says I should be having for a 1 lb a week weight loss which is what is recommended. I have to get rid of the "all or nothing" mentality too. If I make one little mistake, I'm off and running to a binge. I let an unexpected dinner throw me off too....I have to learn to make good choices out of whatever is served me when i have to be out. I did learn a lot from this last binge and for that I am grateful.
Donna~0 -
I had the "what the heck" this week too. I gained on monday (last week) and went and made it worse by binging and gaining even more this week. What had me upset was a .6 gain. Not even a whole pound. I am so stupid!0
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Karendee, You know I won't let you get away with talking bad about yourself like that!!!!! Negative self talk is such a trigger!! Sure you made a poor choice because you were disappointed about gaining. I would have been upset too! But you are not stupid and it's wrong to treat yourself like that
That is over. You made a mistake. No big deal. Nothing new. Been there done that,....Now "focus your attention on everything you are doing well, everything that feels good, and everything that works" Someone posted this the last time I was in the food fog and hating on myself and it helped me so much to just switch my focus off what I was doing WRONG and back to all the many things I do RIGHT every day
I really don't think any of us are going to get better until we treat ourselves with respect and kindness.0
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